I Should go i don't, i stay because...

JUNE'S POV

I WOKE UP later than usual, I haven't enjoyed sleeping in a while like i just did last night, this bed is incredible, its insanely comfy, Immediately my body hit the matressI was completely knocked out I was gone.

my bones weren't hurting when i woke up and i definitely didn't feel like i ran a mile in my sleep but best of all I didn't wake up with a headache! Magnificent that means all I needed was a better bed which wasn't on the floor and was on an actual bed frame.

The room was bright, a light breeze was blowing through the sheer curtains as sunlight streamed in, it is a beautiful day.

We are in our new house, mom is gonna get the job, I dont know what I'm gonna do with my day but probably something productive.

I knelt down prayed a bit and thanked God for another day, before sliding my curtains aside letting the light in, i could feel the warm rays on my skin as i moved to straighten my bed.

I haven't gotten a call from my dad, I dont know why I was still expecting it even though I knew it wasn't gonna come.

But it's all good because it's a new day, a good day filled with hope positivity and good…

The smell of eggs and plantain hit me wafting in from the kitchen

I dont know why I'm in such a good mood, I'm not complaining though, I needed a dose of positivity

I even skipped down the stairs and into the kitchen where mom was still not dressed.

She looks up from the eggs she is stirring at me with a smile 

"Someone's in a great mood today" she says teasingly as she nods at me to have a sit

I shrug my shoulders taking a seat 

"I was just about to bring your food up to you,you know do the whole breakfast in bed thing,you were knocked out snoring like a freaking cow I could hear you from my room, thank God the neighbors house is huge they would have thought i had snuck in a zoo in here" she points the spatula at me making snoring sounds throwing her head back in laughter, I couldnt hold back mine either 

I draw in a gasp,placing my hand on my chest in mock offence "Mommmm stoppp, I was tireddd" I tell her taking a seat.

"I know baby girl" she Pat's my head as she hands me my food with a chuckle.

I rake the eggs and plantain into my mouth "Hmmm, oh I thought you were supposed to be at an interview?" I ask

" Yeah the guy actually called as I was getting ready he told me they'd be postponing it till 12 PM because of something something I cant really remember what he was saying but i'll probably start heading out by 11 or something what's the time help me check" she tells me nodding at her phone next to me.

I check it " Damn it's is 10:51 I think you should start getting ready dont worry i'll take care of the plates"

She wipes her hands rushing up the stairs to start getting ready.

I'm scrolling through tiktok finishing up my breakfast when she rushes downstairs in the outfit I picked for her last night.

"Looking good mamacita" I tease wiggling my eyebrows as I toss her her keys.

That makes her laugh as she heads towards the door

" Be a good girl and be safe ok, love you Chica" she kisses my head leaving a smear of her lip gloss on my forehead,before rushing down the small steps I follow behind her to open the gate as she enters her car and pulls out of the compound,she waves at me one last time before zooming off.

As i see her car driving off my chest feels tight and my throat feels dry, i can feel the tears brimming but i don't let them fall because I'm not going to ruin my happy mood, i know I sound like a 5 year old child but there is just something about being apart from my mom for even the littlest amount of time that just turns me into an emotional mess.

I'm not gonna cry she is just going for an interview. She is gonna come back it's not the end of the freaking world get a grip june.

I am an adult there is no reason i should be sad because my mommy left me alone at home,no reason.

After washing the dishes, I took a bath, cleaned my room and the rest of the house while listening to some music on my headphones, music makes cleaning a lot more fun.

After everywhere and every surface was spotless, I didn't know what to do with my self so I picked up a new book i had just gotten and had been dying to read but haven't really gotten the time to with the whole divorce drama going on.

 I decide to go outside to read because why not?, it was a beautiful day, its late in the afternoon almost evening so it's that perfect with the golden hour sun draping everywhere and everything with its soft golden hues , which makes the perfect backdrop for reading so I grabbed myself a reasonably sized bowl of plantain chips, filled my water bottle and went to look for a spot to sit outside maybe at the backyard or something, I haven't really been to the back of the house yet.

As I walked to the back of the house my flip flops slapping the concrete , I could see their house clearly, (our neighbors who were also our landlords), I could see everything from here there was an iron gate that connected both houses I didn't want to be nosy and go peeping through the railings of the gate to get a better look at their house because that would be nosy and I'm not usually nosy but the house looks empty and I'm itching to see what it looks like from this side and doesn't seem like there is anyone home so... 

So after some minutes of juggling the pros and cons of the decision I'm about to make and how stupid I'd look if someone is actually home and sees me squeezing my face through their side gate oogling at their house like a creep. I decide I'd just take a little peak, I dropped my bowl of chips and water on the small wooden table.

It looked even better from the side, there was more greenery, a pink swing set(that means they have little munchkins running around omg!! that's so cuteeee) peeking out from the back of the house, there were trees sprinkled everywhere around the house and the light from the sun made them cast the most beautiful shadows that almost looked like dark leafy patterns on the house oh my gosh it looked like a dream, it even had these huge tall glass windows at the sides but it was so far away that even if I squinted my eyes I couldn't really make out how it looked on the inside, the front door was huge and it looked like it was made out of the richest type of wood, it seemed so sturdy and rich like a dark chocolate bar.

I loved the house,maybe I shouldn't have been so nosy because all this snooping did was make me want to see more. It made the interior decorator in me want to know what design style was used, what colors the walls were painted, what textures.

Anytime I saw a really good looking house I just itched to see the rest of it.

I was still marveling at how beautiful their house is, when I heard the sound of a gate opening, oh no I swear I felt my heart drop like I had been caught doing something illegal.

I don't know why but my first instinct was to look back at our gate like the possibility of my neighbors/Landlords pulling up to their house at this exact moment was impossible.

 I wanted to run upstairs and hide myself up there or just hide behind the wall here until they left because…well it's not like I hated people, i'm not a psychopath(at least that's what I tell myself) I just I dont know I just dont enjoy physical interactions as much as I think a normal person should its awkward and it's weird, and I have to nod and smile and laugh at jokes I don't find funny just so they dont think I'm mentally derailed or something, so I typically avoid them the only people I talk to are my mom and dad…well just my mom now (plus I'm poking my face through their side get trying to see as much of their house as i can, that isn't so,what is the word...normal?).

Which sounds pretty pathetic and sad,and yeah it might be all those stuff and I do sometimes wish things were different and i had someone around my age i could talk to and you know relate,but it saves me peace and stress and so much less emotional heartache I know what letting people in does to you, it's like you are tearing your chest open to them for them to do whatever they please with your heart, they can poke it jab at it, squeeze it, you give them the gate pass to hurt you.

And i would much rather choose peace,people are stressful.

So i dont know what the hell I am still doing peeking through these strangers gate as their car rolls in,my head is screaming run June, run upstairs,go quickly go stash yourself in your room, but my body doesnt seem to mind I'm unable to move as I watch their car come to a stop, as a man with salt and pepper hair a woman with fair skin,soft features and bright right red lipstick hug and the man plants a soft kiss on her forehead, it was the cutest thing,they look married,not just married thought they look in love 

 They held onto each other, talking and giggling softly as people i assume are their staff rush out from the huge double doors of the house,towards them.

 I scooch a little to the side so just my head peaks out so that if they try to look here I have enough reaction time.

A little precaution just incase they look this way 

Curiosity sure does kill the cat, and I wonder what it's about to do to me.

Maybe its boredom that's doing this to me, messing with my head I should just go back to reading my book and enjoying my perfectly salty plantain chips.

I Should go i don't, i stay because...