my obsession
Lucian.
His name wasn't just a name to me—it was an entire world. It echoed in my mind during the quiet hours of the night, filled the empty spaces in my heart, and became the rhythm to which my teenage years danced.
It started in high school.
Back then, he was already someone who stood out. The kind of guy people naturally gravitated towards—the popular one, the talented one, the one with a last name that carried weight. Girls wanted to be with him, guys wanted to be him. And then there was me, blending into the background like I always had.
I wasn't special. I wasn't beautiful like the girls who surrounded him, nor was I extraordinary in any way. But what I did have was time.
Time to observe. Time to learn. Time to fall deeper and deeper into something I couldn't quite explain.
IN MY High School – The Beginning of My Obsession
I don't know when it started exactly, but I remember the first time I truly noticed him.
It was a rainy afternoon. The sky was a dull gray, the kind that made everything feel sleepy and slow. I was sitting in the library, pretending to study, when the door opened, and in he walked.
Lucian.
His damp uniform clung to his frame, hair slightly messy from the wind. He shook the raindrops from his sleeves, flashing a lazy smile at the librarian who didn't even bother scolding him.
And just like that, my world tilted.
I didn't even realize I was staring until my friend nudged me.
"Sophia, you're literally drooling."
I wasn't, of course. But I had been so entranced by the sight of him that I hadn't noticed how obvious I was being.
From that day on, something changed.
I started noticing everything about him. The way he laughed, loud and unrestrained, as if the world had never given him a reason to hold back. The way he tapped his pen against the desk when he was bored in class. The way his jaw tensed whenever he was deep in thought.
At first, I told myself it was just a crush. A silly, fleeting thing.
As the time passed I just realised that I have something to tell him but if I told him now the answer will be NO
so all I had done is Just wait until the best chance came but the situation all got mess up in my college as
Sophia's POV – My Obsession with Lucian
Lucian.
His name wasn't just a name to me—it was an entire world. It echoed in my mind during the quiet hours of the night, filled the empty spaces in my heart, and became the rhythm to which my teenage years danced.
It started in high school.
Back then, he was already someone who stood out. The kind of guy people naturally gravitated towards—the popular one, the talented one, the one with a last name that carried weight. Girls wanted to be with him, guys wanted to be him. And then there was me, blending into the background like I always had.
I wasn't special. I wasn't beautiful like the girls who surrounded him, nor was I extraordinary in any way. But what I did have was time.
Time to observe. Time to learn. Time to fall deeper and deeper into something I couldn't quite explain.
High School – The Beginning of My Obsession
I don't know when it started exactly, but I remember the first time I truly noticed him.
It was a rainy afternoon. The sky was a dull gray, the kind that made everything feel sleepy and slow. I was sitting in the library, pretending to study, when the door opened, and in he walked.
Lucian.
His damp uniform clung to his frame, hair slightly messy from the wind. He shook the raindrops from his sleeves, flashing a lazy smile at the librarian who didn't even bother scolding him.
And just like that, my world tilted.
I didn't even realize I was staring until my friend nudged me.
"Sophia, you're literally drooling."
I wasn't, of course. But I had been so entranced by the sight of him that I hadn't noticed how obvious I was being.
From that day on, something changed.
I started noticing everything about him. The way he laughed, loud and unrestrained, as if the world had never given him a reason to hold back. The way he tapped his pen against the desk when he was bored in class. The way his jaw tensed whenever he was deep in thought.
At first, I told myself it was just a crush. A silly, fleeting thing.
But crushes fade. This didn't.
---
Watching from the Shadows
I never spoke to him. Not once.
It wasn't that I was afraid—okay, maybe I was a little. But the real reason? I didn't need to.
I was content just watching. Just existing in the same space as him.
I learned his schedule without meaning to.
I knew what time he entered the cafeteria, what subjects he hated, which teachers adored him. I knew which jacket was his, the way his cologne smelled when he walked past, and even the tiny scar on his left hand from a childhood accident.
It became... routine.
It felt normal, in a way. To see him from afar, to imagine conversations we'd never have, to pretend that in some alternate reality, we were meant to be.
Of course, reality didn't care about my fantasies.
Lucian was popular, constantly surrounded by people. Girls who were bolder than me. Who didn't just watch but acted. Who touched his arm when they laughed, whispered in his ear during classes, and made him smile in ways I wished I could.
Every time I saw him with someone new, my stomach twisted into knots.
But what hurt more was knowing he never once noticed me.
Not even once.
---
College – Still a Stranger to Him
Time moved forward, and so did we.
Lucian and I both ended up in the same college—though, of course, it wasn't because of fate. I had planned it.
When choosing universities, I had only one condition: it had to be the one he chose.
Some might call that crazy. Unhealthy. But to me, it made perfect sense.
If I couldn't be close to him, at least I could still watch.
And so, I did.
College was different from high school, but one thing remained the same—Lucian was still the center of attention.
He was everywhere.
On the basketball court, in the student council, at every major event. His name was spoken with admiration, his presence impossible to ignore.
And me?
I was still just watching.
I told myself it was fine. That I didn't need anything more than this. But deep down, a part of me burned with frustration.
Why wasn't I enough to be noticed?
Was I too plain? Too quiet? Too insignificant?
I wanted him to look at me. To say my name the way he said those other girls' names. To smile at me the way he smiled at them.
But no matter how much I wanted it, Lucian remained out of reach.
But that day if my college was different...