The Visitor (1)
After finishing the bath, I kindly arranged a pillow and extra blanket and handed them to Leonardo.
"The bed in Vittorio's room is too small, so that's out of the question. Your room is drafty, so that's also not an option. But the sofa should be fine, right?"
Leonardo, who had accidentally grabbed the bedding, poked his head out from under the blanket with a look of panic and called my name.
"Isaac?"
"Well, it's not that cold tonight. Must be some weird weather, huh? You'll be fine sleeping alone, right?"
Of course, in this medieval fantasy world, there's no such thing as global warming causing strange weather, but I just threw that out there with a laugh. I was about to close the door right after, but…
The door wouldn't budge.
Ugh, what is this? I need to close the door, but his foot is stuck to it? Should I just leave it there?
Even when I lightly kicked the foot wedged in the door, Leonardo stubbornly stood his ground and protested.
"Actually, I think it might be too cold to sleep on the sofa alone."
"Oh? I'm feeling quite warm, actually."
Whether it was because my face was flushing from the heat or because I had just gotten out of the bath, I wasn't sure. Either way, it wasn't that important.
"If you're that cold, I'll give you my blanket. Take it."
"But if I take it, then you won't have a blanket to cover yourself with."
"I don't really need it. You can have it all."
"…Come to think of it, it's not that cold after all."
"Oh? Then it's fine if you sleep on the sofa alone tonight, right?"
"!"
I had him cornered. I had teased Leonardo, laughing mischievously, and for once, he couldn't hide his flustered reaction.
"Or, you could take my bed and I'll sleep on the sofa instead?"
Leonardo quickly shook his head, as if the sleeping arrangements weren't the problem at all.
It hadn't been long since we started sharing a bedroom, but his nervous behaviour was a little puzzling. Then it suddenly occurred to me that what he was actually concerned about was my nightmares.
Hah. I walked over to the bed, grabbed one of the pillows from the headrest, and tucked it under my arm.
"I can manage for just one night. Tonight, I'll sleep with this instead of you. It's much softer, anyway."
"!"
"Good night!"
Finally, I managed to close the door. It was harder than fighting off a monster just to shut a bedroom door. Isn't the balance patch a bit off?
Even after it clicked shut, I could still see Leonardo's shadow flickering through the gap in the door, slowly fading away, as though lingering just a little too long. It wasn't just disappearing—it was pulling away slowly, almost regretfully, and that sight stuck in my mind.
'…..'
In truth, I wasn't actually that angry to the point of kicking Leonardo out of the bedroom. It was annoying that he had pretended not to notice, even after hearing my private thoughts slip out over the past few weeks, but my feelings were more about embarrassment and frustration than actual anger.
I couldn't really scold him for keeping such a secret when I myself had been hiding my true self. After all, I too had been covering up my real life and past before becoming 'Isaac.'
The rule in this world of the story that we shouldn't cause a sense of 'alienation' in the characters was a convenient excuse for moments like this. Now that I had a new role, I was supposed to keep who I really was a secret on the stage. That much, at least, was in perfect alignment with the rules an actor must follow.
When I was first learning about acting, I was taught that the best actors are those who are colourless, tasteless, and dry—essentially, the most neutral humans.
In order to embody the lives, habits, personalities, speech, and actions of others, one must first empty oneself. Therefore, the ideal person is someone who has little to empty in the first place.
According to that philosophy, a great actor is the most boring person in the world. They are full of life only when they wear the mask on stage. Outside of the stage, they have no charm, no distinguishing traits. When the mask is removed, they do not claim who they are. They are faceless.
I don't consider myself the greatest actor, but I've never thought of myself as an interesting or multifaceted person when I'm not wearing the mask.
The relationships I've built here were also the result of wearing masks: Informant, Disguised Lover, Apostle—roles I performed by creating and embodying those masks.
But, there are times when Leonardo, oddly enough, has this intense urge to peel back the mask and see what's underneath. There are moments when it feels like he wants to dig up everything I've hidden and expose it all. When that happens, his gaze holds a light more akin to the sharp edge of a well-forged weapon than the gleam of a spotlight.
However, just before that piercing gaze pries into me, he always stops. The reason he shows such restraint is not hard to guess.
[If you wait together and stay by my side, eventually you'll tell me everything… I believe that.]
But I can't promise any of that.
In this situation, perhaps there's a reason why Leonardo silently listened to my monologue without saying anything. Since I don't speak up, he must be silently quenching his thirst with the fragments he gathers from me. Thinking this way, it became hard to solely blame Leonardo.
Anyway, for various reasons, I thought I wouldn't be able to sleep with Leonardo facing me tonight, so I sent him away. As I hugged my pillow and closed my eyes, darkness slowly crept in. And then, without warning, I woke up.
It was still the middle of the night. I had barely slept for a couple of hours before I woke up. My hand was under something soft, so I looked down. In my sleep, I must have gripped it tightly, because the pillowcase was all crumpled and the pillow inside was flattened and sagging. I had tossed and turned this much…
No, this is all because I've developed bad habits. In the past, I used to toss and turn a little but would eventually sleep soundly for a long time. But now, with a certain large someone sticking to me… I've gotten into the extravagant habit of not being able to fall asleep properly without the warmth of another person.
'When did this happen?'
I rubbed my forehead in a feeling of emptiness, and my gaze unconsciously drifted toward the door. I wondered if Leonardo was still sleeping on the sofa in the parlour by now. After hesitating, I slightly pushed the door open.
And there, I met Leonardo's eyes. My heart sank, and I froze, unable to make a sound. Meanwhile, Leonardo himself seemed to be even more startled.
"You… you're not asleep?"
"I thought I heard you tossing and turning, so I was just checking…"
After a moment of awkwardness, Leonardo cautiously approached the door again and stuck his foot in.
"Well… I think the 'tonight' deadline is over. Would you let me in?"
It had already passed midnight, so the day had definitely changed.
"…I'm reflecting on it."
He said that quite shamelessly, but with a gloomy expression. I couldn't tell if it was a high-level strategy or just Leonardo being his usual self. I hesitated for a moment, then grabbed the pillow and blanket before pushing Leonardo's back firmly.
"Isaac?"
"Let's go over there."
The old sofa in the parlour wasn't much different from the ancient bed in the bedroom. When I squeezed into the spot Leonardo had warmed up, I lay down at an angle, and without fail, he claimed the space beside me. It was cramped. We were squished together.
'It's so cramped. Am I going to roll off this thing in my sleep?'
The parlour was directly connected to the hallway, and I was worried about waking Vittorio up. So, I whispered to Leonardo with
「This way, even if you roll off while sleeping, it won't be a surprise.」
I glanced at the pillow discarded on the floor, then looked back at Leonardo. His face, filled with satisfaction, looked ridiculous, but somehow, the entire situation was so absurd I couldn't help but laugh. Still, I felt the need to properly address the matter, so I tapped the tip of Leonardo's nose with my finger and gave a small warning.
'If my thoughts start leaking out again, give me a signal… Got it?'
「Yeah.」
The voice that brushed against my ear settled more gently. As Leonardo adjusted to a more comfortable position, he blinked slowly.
「Can I ask you something?」
'What could be so important that he's setting the mood like this? Just tell me.'
「What does taxi mean? I remember you called me that once.」
He heard that too?!
「Is it someone else's name?」
Trying to avoid his persistent questioning, I quickly closed my eyes and pretended to fall asleep as drowsiness started to creep in.
When I closed my eyes next to him, I could sleep soundly without tossing or having bad dreams.
***
"Isaac, Isaac."
The sound of my name woke me up.
For a moment, I was confused as I saw a ceiling that wasn't my bedroom's. After recalling the events from the previous night, I felt a sense of relief.
But who called my name?
I turned my head, and my gaze met those of Ferdinand, Celestina, and Vittorio.
"Eh?"
What… what's going on?
I hastily sat up, and in the process, I accidentally elbowed Leonardo's stomach behind me. He let out a small grunt. "Sorry!" I quickly apologized, and Celestina, who had covered her mouth, snickered. Ferdinand, looking apologetic, spoke up.
"I apologize for disturbing your sleep, Isaac. We've received a letter from my father, and I wanted to share the news with the family, so I came to visit. But—"
Ferdinand, holding a small rolled-up letter, looked at Celestina, who had her mouth covered similarly, and asked again.
"Do you sleep on the sofa every day? The one in the guest room is a bit worn out, but if it's uncomfortable, we could replace it right away…"
Leonardo, who had been gently rubbing his stomach, neatly rolled up the blanket and shook his head.
"It's fine as it is."
"But why sleep on the sofa when there's a perfectly good bed? Hmm… I suppose I should have a servant bring thicker blankets for you," Ferdinand said seriously, surveying the guest room.
"It's my oversight. The nights have been a bit chilly recently, but I didn't think the heating in the fort had gotten so bad that the two of you had to sleep so close together," Ferdinand said, apologizing.
Celestina sighed and nudged him in the side.
"Big brother, that's enough. Just show the letter."
Only then did Ferdinand exclaim, "Ah!" and reveal the letter. The contents, written on the rolled parchment, were brief.