13: A Spark in the Darkness

Nullus sat on the edge of his bed, staring at the black card between his fingers, turning it slowly as if it were the key to a prison he had never known existed. The numbers engraved on it were precise, devoid of any ornamentation or name—merely a means of contacting something beyond ordinary comprehension.

"Why didn't I report it?"

He repeated the question in his mind over and over, yet no answer came to ease him. Was his indifference simply part of his nature? Or was there something else—something deeper—that controlled his decisions without his realizing it?

He lay back on the bed and gazed at the ceiling. The room was silent, with only the sound of his steady breathing, yet inside he felt as if a storm was raging. Kil's words echoed in his mind, repeating as if they had etched themselves into his very being:

"Are you not human?"

Was he truly so? He had no memories of his childhood, no strong feelings that connected him to anything. Everything he did was merely an imitation of what he observed—a mimicry of life just as an actor performs on stage. And yet, there was one thing he could not ignore...

Why did he feel a warmth glowing in his heart whenever he thought of her?

He lifted his head slightly and stared into the void. This feeling was unfamiliar—like a slight burning beneath his skin, pulsing every time her image flickered in his mind. His boss—the woman who assigned him tasks each morning in a calm tone, the woman who rarely smiled but when she did, it was as if the sun itself broke through the gray clouds.

He closed his eyes, trying to dismiss the thought, yet it grew ever clearer. Was this why he had avoided thinking about her all this time? Because he did not understand the sensation?

Suddenly, he sprang from the bed as if to escape his own thoughts. He moved to the window and looked out at the city bathed in faint lights.

"Am I just an empty machine?" he wondered.

But if that were true, why did a part of him refuse to accept it? Why was there something inside that insisted there was a deeper meaning to what he felt?

Taking a deep breath as if to steady the strange beat in his chest, he decided without a moment's hesitation:

"I will go to her. I'll ask for an appointment. I need an answer."

---

The next day, the atmosphere inside the post office was as quiet as usual. His colleagues worked in silence, papers passed from one hand to another, and parcels sorted without much attention. Life moved along with the same monotonous routine he was accustomed to, yet inside him, he sensed an unfamiliar tension—a nervous energy he had never known before.

His boss stood behind her desk, flipping through some papers, her eyes intently following the written words.

He hesitated for a moment before forcing himself forward until he stood in front of her. She looked up and regarded him, her eyebrow rising ever so slightly in gentle surprise.

"Nullus? Is there a problem?" she asked.

He opened his mouth, but words failed him. He had never made such a request before, and he wasn't even sure if he should.

Yet, somehow, the words emerged on their own:

"I want to meet with you after work. Dinner."

She paused, as if the request had caught her off guard, then her lips curved into a small smile.

"Dinner? Is that an appointment?"

He was at a loss for words and remained silent. She regarded him with her calm eyes before saying:

"Alright. When and where?"

A strange feeling stirred within him, as though he hadn't expected her agreement so readily. Swallowing, he replied in a steady voice:

"After work, I will wait for you at the small restaurant near the station."

She nodded and returned to her papers, as if nothing had transpired. He lingered there for a few moments before realizing that the meeting was indeed set.

What now?

------------------

That evening, Nolis sat in the restaurant waiting. The place was small and cozy, with dim lights and soft music drifting through the air. He had never been there before, but he had chosen it at random since it was near their workplace.

He took a deep breath, trying to calm the inexplicable pounding of his heart.

It wasn't long before his boss entered. She wore a gray coat, and her brown hair cascaded over her shoulders. When he saw her, he felt that familiar warmth in his chest once again.

"Have you been waiting long?" she asked as she sat in front of him.

He shook his head. "No, you arrived right on time."

She picked up the menu, while he continued to gaze at her, striving to understand what he felt. After a few moments, he spoke in a low voice:

"I want to ask you something."

She looked up at him, her eyebrow raising slightly. "Go ahead."

He hesitated, then decided there was no need for preamble.

"Selene... why do I feel a warmth glowing in my heart when I think of you?"

She regarded him for a few moments, then slowly smiled—not a sarcastic or surprised smile, but a calm, warm one, as if she understood something he had yet to grasp.

Then she said softly:

"Why are you so pure... like an innocent child?"

He froze. That wasn't the answer he had expected. In truth, he hadn't expected any answer at all, yet he sensed that her words carried a meaning far deeper than it seemed.

"Perhaps…" he murmured quietly, "this is love."

For a moment, his body trembled as if struck by lightning. Love? Impossible. That word meant nothing to him. It couldn't be true.

His voice rose slightly, almost involuntarily, as he exclaimed:

"It's impossible for me to feel love!"

She looked at him in astonishment, as if unprepared for his vehement reaction. In her eyes lay a question, yet also a glimmer of interest—as if she recognized a deeper secret behind his words.

He continued to stare at her, his mind struggling to comprehend. Is what he felt now... love? No, love was something complex, something that required strong emotions—something he had never experienced before, wasn't it?

And yet, why did his heart beat so fiercely?

He remained silent for a few moments as she watched him, waiting for him to speak further. But he could not.

What is love?