Chapter 65: FEAST OR FRY When the Thunder God Hits the Buffet and Memes Strike Harder Than Lightning
The BIG ZAP BUFFET was an unhinged nightmare of neon chaos.
The building looked like someone had asked, "What if a thunderstorm threw up on a diner?" — every wall pulsing with bright yellow lightning bolts and blue holographic storm clouds swirling above.
A massive, glitching holo-sign above the entrance flashed:
"BIG ZAP BUFFET — ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT OR ALL-YOU-CAN-FRY!"
Elliot didn't care about the aesthetics.
He was a starving thunder god with his Boost stuck at 10% and his stomach growling like a malfunctioning plasma cannon.
Nova, Vex, and Kain were still dying laughing as they followed him inside — Kain practically wheezing while Vex wiped a tear from her eye.
"I can't believe we're feeding the literal Raijin Protocol at a buffet," Kain choked out, his cybernetic arm sparking again because he kept slapping his knee.
Vex grinned, adjusting her glowing violet visor. "You're not a thunder god anymore, Elliot… you're the Calorie King now."
Nova bit her lip, her bioluminescent suit still faintly glowing from the last remnants of their feedback loop. "Or the Lord of Leftovers."
The System — StormGPT (Thundaddy) — buzzed violently, unable to contain its glee.
---
[ALERT: BOOST STUCK AT A PATHETIC 10%]
Energy Levels: Still running on crumbs and vibes.
Objective: Ingest enough food to stop sounding like a broken fridge.
Pro Tip: You can't call down thunder when your stomach sounds like a dying Wi-Fi router.
---
Elliot's eye twitched. "If one more person makes a snack joke…"
His stomach roared again — even louder.
The sound reverberated through the entire restaurant like a distant thunderclap.
A waitress — dressed in a ridiculous electric-blue jumpsuit with lightning bolt earrings — jumped. "Was that the air conditioning… or a wild animal?"
Vex collapsed against a booth, wheezing. "Nope — just the Hunger Protocol."
Kain's laughter broke into a full snort. "You're not gonna fry the buffet, are you, kid?"
The System buzzed — absolutely unhinged.
---
[New Title Unlocked: Elliot — The Thundermuncher]
Abilities: Summon storms… once you summon a sandwich first.
Special Attack: Hunger Surge — a temporary Boost spike whenever you smell food.
Pro Tip: You can't be a storm if you faint like a hungry cloud.
---
Elliot's Boost ticked from 10% to 12% — a faint crackle of blue lightning spiraling down his arm the moment his eyes locked onto the massive buffet spread in front of him.
Tables lined with synthetic meat towers.
Endless bowls of neon noodles glowing faintly blue.
Stacks of protein cubes shaped like miniature lightning bolts.
And… an entire "Shockwave Sundae Bar" with crackling "static sugar" dusted over glowing desserts.
The System freaked out.
---
[CALORIC DETECTION ALERT: BUFFET MODE ENGAGED]
Boost Recharge Potential: +50% minimum.
Strategy: Eat first — zap later.
Pro Tip: Fuel the storm… or stay a snackless god.
---
Elliot practically staggered toward the buffet, grabbing a tray like a man possessed. His Raijin Protocol hummed faintly beneath the surface, but his hunger was louder.
Nova shook her head, still grinning. "You're really about to fight the buffet, aren't you?"
Vex smirked. "Hope the food's insured."
Kain pulled out his holopad, already recording. "This is historic. I'm calling this video: WHEN GODS FEAST AND LIGHTNING STARVES."
The System buzzed — joining the roast party.
---
[Pro Tip: It's not "Raijin" anymore — it's "Raij-eating."]
---
Elliot grabbed a plate. Then two.
Then… four.
Nova blinked. "Four plates?"
Kain snorted. "He's gonna summon Thundertoes when he can't walk after this."
Vex leaned back, mock whispering to Nova. "I bet he Boosts every time he chews."
The System — fueled by the meme storm — lost its mind.
---
[NEW ABILITY UNLOCKED: Hunger Overdrive]
Effect: Temporary Boost spikes per bite of high-calorie food.
Stacking Bonus: Boost increases by 2% per plate.
Pro Tip: You're not just eating — you're charging.
---
Elliot growled — his Boost flaring to 15% after his first bite of glowing noodles.
A faint crackle of blue lightning danced across his fingers.
Nova's jaw dropped. "Did… did his Boost just go up from eating?"
Kain fell out of his chair. "HE'S LITERALLY POWER EATING."
Vex clutched the edge of the table. "This is better than any fight we've ever had."
The System freaked out again — blasting Elliot's neural feed with meme spam as his Boost crept higher.
---
[BOOST STATUS: 15% ➡️ 17% ➡️ 20%]
Bite Count: Four so far.
Caloric Surge: Moderate.
Pro Tip: You're not "The Raijin Protocol"… you're "The Ramen Protocol."
---
Another stomach growl — less angry now, more satisfied — echoed from Elliot as he annihilated another plate of neon protein cubes.
His Boost ticked to 25%.
Nova stared. "His Boost… is literally feeding off the food."
Vex smirked. "He's eating his way to godhood."
Kain was on the floor, still recording. "HE'S GONNA HIT A MILLION PERCENT ON A FREAKING BURGER."
The System — fully meme-drunk — blasted another wave of unhinged quotes directly into Elliot's neural link.
---
"LET HIM EAT LIGHTNING AND CRAP THUNDER!"
— Rocky… probably.
"A WELL-FED STORM IS A DEADLY STORM."
— Sun Tzu… if he was a chef.
"THOU SHALT NOT BOOST ON AN EMPTY STOMACH."
— The 11th Commandment.
---
Elliot's Boost surged to 30% — and a sharp jolt of blue lightning arced from his fingers, zapping the soda machine across the room.
BOOM.
The machine short-circuited — fizzling out — sending glowing soda spraying everywhere.
The waitress screamed.
Kain lost his damn mind. "HE KILLED THE SODA MACHINE — WE'RE IN THE SNACK APOCALYPSE."
Nova covered her mouth, trying not to laugh. "He's boosting so hard, he's short-circuiting the buffet."
Vex wiped soda off her visor. "I told you — he's Calorie-Powered Raijin now."
The System buzzed — this time with a final, unholy pro tip.
---
[Pro Tip: You didn't break the buffet… the buffet broke for you.]
---
And as Elliot grabbed yet another plate — his Boost climbing to 35% — the storm inside him purred.
The Raijin Protocol wasn't just back…
It was hungry too.