An Endless Loop

I walked along the road, my mind filled with a mix of thoughts. I was about half sure that Amour wasn't real, but I knew I'd find out for sure when I passed by the grave. I slowed down, taking my time to walk past it, hoping to figure out what she really was—just a dream or something more?

As I walked, the air felt heavy, as if it was waiting for something to happen. The shadows from the trees seemed to dance in the fading light, making everything feel a bit spooky. I looked down at the ground and then back up at the grave, my heart racing.

"Okay, if you're real, show yourself," I whispered, half-joking and half-hoping. A chill ran down my spine as the wind picked up, rustling the leaves around me.

I stood there for a moment, caught between doubt and hope, wondering if tonight would be different. Would Amour appear again, or was she just a dream that had faded with the morning light? I took a deep breath, ready for anything.

I waited and waited, my heart racing with excitement, but after about 30 minutes of staring at the grave, I realized nothing was going to happen. I sighed, feeling both disappointed and accepting. Maybe Amour was just the best dream I'd ever had, a lovely figment of my imagination that made the night feel magical.

As I turned to leave, I couldn't shake the feeling that something was missing. "Best dream ever," I muttered to myself, forcing a smile. At least I had that memory to hold onto, something too special to forget.

I walked away, my footsteps echoing in the quiet street, hoping I might see her again someday, even if only in my dreams. Feeling a bit lost, I headed home. When I reached my door, I pulled out my key, unlocked it, and stepped inside.

My wife said, "Welcome home, hubb." My file slipped from my hand as I froze for a moment. Then it hit me—I was single, not married. Who did I just call my wife? She was there, busy in the kitchen, but I never let anyone inside. The doors were locked. How did she get in? Who was she? Was she a robber? But then, why would a robber be cooking? What was going on?

She washed her hands, and I recognized her voice. She walked over, hugged me from behind, and said softly, "How was your day, dear?" My mind went blank. That voice, that warmth—it felt so real. But how could it be? Am I dreaming? I thought to myself. Let me pinch myself. It felt real, but I couldn't understand it. "Amour?" I whispered. If this was a dream, I didn't want to wake up. "It was okay, but now it's better because I see you, darling," I replied, feeling like I was living a dream.

She smiled at me and said, "Now go take your bath, and then come to the dining room. I've made your favorite." I stood there, trying to understand what was happening. How was this possible? But her voice and smile were so comforting that I couldn't help but nod and head to the bathroom.

While bathing, I couldn't stop thinking. How could Amour be here, in my home, cooking for me as if we had been together all these years? Wasn't she just a dream, a memory from the past? Or had I somehow crossed into another reality? My thoughts spun in circles, trying to make sense of it all. The more I thought, the more confused I became.

After I finished, I quickly killed my nakedness in my room and headed to the dining room, still lost in thought. What was happening? A delicious smell filled the air—Irish stew, rich with tender lamb and vegetables. How did Amour know it was my favorite? I hadn't eaten it in years. Was this really a dream? Or did she know everything about me? She claimed to know a lot, but that seemed impossible!

She rubbed her wet hands on her apron and smiled, gesturing for me to sit at the dining table. "Take a seat," she said softly, pulling the chair out for me. I sat down, still feeling dazed as she placed a steaming bowl of Irish stew in front of me. "Go ahead, start eating," she encouraged gently.

I nodded, picking up the spoon. "Okay," I said, still unsure of what was going on but too hungry and curious to think about it more. I took my first bite.

My eyes widened as the taste hit me—this wasn't a dream! This was real! Amour was real! The stew was perfect, just like I remembered. It was all true! As I enjoyed the meal, I couldn't help but wonder... if Amour's cooking was this good, was she just as wonderful? A funny thought popped into my head—was Amour herself as sweet as this food?

Shaking off the silly thought, I called out to her, "Come, eat with me!" But she smiled softly and shook her head. I was confused, so I asked why. Her answer surprised me: "I may look like a human, but I can't eat like one."

"Oh, that's disappointing," I said sadly.

"Don't worry, dear," she said. "There's one thing I can enjoy with you—coffee!"

"But it's so boring!" she said, pouting a little. "I've been drinking coffee for like 20 years now. My tongue wants to try something new, but every time I do, I just end up throwing up."

"Oh, I see, that's kinda strange!" I said, a little confused.

"But for now, I have no choice," she said, snapping her fingers. Suddenly, a cup of coffee appeared out of nowhere. She looked at her reflection in the coffee, sighing. "The only thing I can enjoy."

"Wait! Don't drink it!" I quickly stood up and took the cup from her hands. "Sit down!" I told her, pointing to the chair. Then, without thinking much, I hurried into the kitchen, determined to come up with something better for her.

She kept looking at the clock, which showed 5:30 AM, and then back at the kitchen, trying to see what I was doing. "Don't spoil the surprise!" I called out happily.

"Okay! But hurry, I might start to fade soon," she warned, and my heart skipped a beat. I remembered her fading away before, and I panicked a little.

I rushed, quickly putting everything together, and then proudly presented her with —

—variety of coffees! I placed them in front of her: Common Coffee, Coffee Latte, Cappuccino, Coffee Mocha, Lemon Coffee, Strawberry Coffee, Irish Coffee, and my special creation—'The Grand Golden Canyon Coffee.'

Her eyes widened as she saw the spread. "Wow! So many!" she exclaimed, looking amazed. "I've seen so many types before! But for the first time ever in my life and afterlife I have seen and heard something like 'The Grand Golden Canyon Coffee', it's kinda fascinating!"

"Yup, because this is our family special," I said proudly. "When I was just 9, my mom taught me how to prepare this special 'The Grand Golden Canyon Coffee.'"

Her eyes sparkled with interest. "Really? That sounds amazing!" she said, leaning in closer to get a better look at the cup.

She tasted them all, and finally, for the grand finale, she sipped the Grand Golden Canyon Coffee! "Yummy!" Her eyes widened in surprise. "Hey! Can you do me a favor?" she asked eagerly.

"Yup, go ahead!" I said, curious.

"Will you tell me the recipe for this Grand Golden Canyon Coffee? As a family member? I want to share it with my family!" she said, blushing a little.

"Sure, I can teach you, but you never mentioned your family," I replied, feeling a bit confused.

"Oh yeah! Sorry!" she said quickly. "You'll meet them soon!"

"Wait, what?! How?" I replied, feeling a rush of excitement and a little bit of panic.

She smiled and then, in the blink of an eye, she faded away! "Amour! Amour! Where are you?" I shouted in panic, my eyes starting to rain with tears. I searched everywhere in my house. Where could she be? I was feeling lost until I opened the window. The sunrise peeked in, and the clock read 7:16 AM! I was moaning with hunger for her presence!

Her scent lingered in my house, like a temporary survival kit, but what was this fading phenomenon? We had been having such a good time! In frustration, I threw my Irish tableware across the room, and then— I woke up!

"Dammit!" I shouted in anger!

I thrashed around my room, tossing pillows, scratching at the bed linens, and punching the furniture. I threw the decor everywhere, turning my once neat palace into a dirty pigpen. I shouted swear words, frustration pouring out of me as I cried! It felt like my heart was breaking all over again, and I couldn't understand why she had to disappear like that. Everything was a mess, just like my feelings!

I couldn't even believe my feelings anymore. It was all too much! I decided I needed to see a psychiatrist and a psychologist. I couldn't handle this on my own; it was too heavy to bear! How could I sort through all this confusion and heartache? I needed help to figure things out, to understand why I was feeling this way.

SOMEONE, PLEASE HELP ME BREAK FREE FROM THIS ENDLESS LOOP!