Chapter Twelve

SONIA

I woke up that morning to brilliant rays of sunlight shining directly on my face. I was pretty sure that the curtains were shut last night, so I wondered how they were opened this morning.

And then I heard hushed voices.

I opened my eyes immediately.

There were three little girls standing at my bedside.

They were so cute.

I immediately realized that one of these three children was my daughter, Catherine. The other two girls could be her friends. They looked so alike, they could be twins.

I felt tears fill my eyes as I gazed at my daughter - my flesh and blood.

"Good morning ma'am" One of the twins said to me.

"We saw the door was slightly opened and we were surprised" The other twin said.

"Are you grandma's friend?" My daughter asked.

Before I could respond, my mum came in and whisked the three children away.

"Come on girls, you're supposed to be dressed for church here, not disturbing the ladies. Go have breakfast quickly so we'd go to church" She said to them.

It seemed my heart stopped at that.

'Church'??

It was very strange to see my mum passionate about going to church.

"Good morning mum"

"Good morning Sonia. I see you've met Catherine already? Or you didn't recognize her?"

I felt slapped at that statement. I looked up at my mum and tried to read her expression. There was hurt, anger, disappointment and some other expression I couldn't see.

I kept quiet.

"Ben's going to come take the kids to church, so we can talk. What would you like to have for breakfast?"

"Ben?" I croaked.

She nodded and went outside.

BEN

I rolled over on my side and glanced at the beautiful woman beside me. If all went well, I planned to propose to her at the family dinner tonight.

"Penny for your thoughts, Mr Caldwell?" She asked.

I kissed the top of her head, and drew her close to me.

"A Penny's too small. I'd rather you suggest A Hundred dollars, because it's worth more than what I'm thinking" I said and she laughed.

"Aren't we going to church?" She asked, standing up and dragging her night robe with her. I sat up immediately, reaching for my bed on the night stand.

"Of course we are. I've missed a call from Lisa. Let me call back and see what's up" I said to her.

"Alright babe. I'll get started on breakfast" I kissed her and she left and then I brought out my phone to call Lisa.

I imagined hearing Cathy's voice as she sang her good morning greeting to me, or as she argued with her grandmother over what she wanted to have for breakfast, but what I didn't imagine were the two words that Lisa said, immediately she picked up the phone call.

"Sonia's back"

I stopped and mentally counted to 20 before thinking of what to say. Lisa sounded like she wasn't even really on board with that idea at all. I really couldn't blame her.

We've all moved on. It's been five whole years of not hearing from her. Five years of bliss. I wondered why she'd decided to come back now of all times.

"Ben??!!"

"Oh I'm sorry. I was just thinking. When did she come back?"

"She came very early this morning at 1am. I really wasn't expecting her myself"

"Has she met Catherine yet?"

"Yes. I found Catherine in her bedroom this morning. Anyways I called to ask if you'd be able to come pick up the kids and take them to church. Sonia seems... I don't know... Broken. I really need to speak with my daughter"

"Oh sure. No problem Lisa. I'll be there in 30 minutes to take the kids to church"

"Alright. Say hi to Olivia for me" She said, and I smiled.

I went to the kitchen to meet my girlfriend. She was whipping eggs, and making something that smelt so nice.

"I've spoken to Lisa. She wants us to come pick the kids and take them to church"

She turned around to face me.

"Is everything okay? That's unlike Lisa"

"Yeah. I think she's just not feeling too well"

"Okay. That means I won't have to put on my heels today. I'd have to wear flats" Olivia said with a laugh and I couldn't resist the urge to kiss her.

"Whatever suits you babe. I told her we'd be there in 30 minutes"

"You did what??!!! I haven't even made us breakfast. I'm going to have to hurry up" She said and started scrambling for a knife and fresh tomatoes and shoving me out of the way.

I smiled and left her to go have my bath upstairs.

SONIA

"So the kids are gone now. Where do you want us to go?"

"I.. err.. I don't know. Anywhere" I said, not really sure how to relate with my mum anymore. I knew Ben came around. I heard his voice. It was pure torture to hear Benny's voice, to know that he was so close and yet I couldn't go to him. I retreated into my room. That wasn't even the worst part. I heard the voice of a lady, and from all indications, she was his girlfriend.

"Sonie??!!" My mum called, jolting me back to reality.

"Yeah mum" I replied.

"I was asking where you'd like us to go" She prompted.

"To be honest mum, I'd much rather we stay here and talk. I don't think I'm ready to be outside yet"

She nodded and came to sit close to me.

"It's fine. Would you like a cup of coffee?"

"No I'm fine. Look mum, I know you're angry with me. Everyone's angry with me, but I'm also angry with myself too. Do you think it's easy, hearing Ben's voice and not being able to talk to him, to kiss him, to tell him how much I love him?? Do you think it's easy to see my little girl and not go hold her, love her, care for her, like a mother would??" I cried out. My mum held me close, rubbing my hair as I kept talking.

"I was mad at you, mad at you for having an affair with Ben's dad, but then I realized I might not have been born. Everything feels so wrong. Everyone's blaming me for leaving Catherine and Ben like that, but then I still don't get.... What am I supposed to do? Keep playing loveydovey with my brother and our child?? It's so wrong, so wrong. I don't know what I'm supposed to do mum. I'm losing it mum"

My mum kept quiet, still rubbing my hair as the tears kept rolling out.

"After I left the hospital in Aberdeen, I did a lot of traveling. I thought I'd find myself, move on from Ben and my baby. I only ended up hurting myself. I dated a guy, Anthony, for two years. It turned out he was just using me as a rebound from his ex-wife, and when she came back to him, he dumped me immediately. I returned back to Aberdeen and started teaching there. And then all of a sudden, you won't believe who I met!!! Allison!! She has a son, a four year old boy. We met, we talked, we reconciled and I realized I needed to be home. I needed to come back home. Even if there was nothing worth coming home to, I needed to come home. And then I took the first night flight back home and here I am"

"Are you happy, Sonia?" my mother asked.

"Is that even a question, mum?? Of course not!! I'm not happy! I'm depressed"

"I have a story to tell too, darling, and I'd love it if you'd listen attentively" My mum said and I nodded

In order to be comfortable, I laid down on the recliner and rested my head on my mother's laps.

Even I was shocked at that level of closeness. My mum had never been that affectionate with me.

A lot of things had really changed.

I sat still as she began her story