A pleased smile ghosted over Harry's lips before he nodded in approval and pointed at her, "That statement right there, 'You are a Jedi' and 'You should be better than that.' You're essentially saying that you're better than any sentient being out there."
"That's not what I'm saying," Ahsoka said her brow furrowing.
"Except it kinda is," Harry responded immediately, "That may be as important as anything else I teach you. Look. All sentient beings have emotions and feelings. Anger, Joy, Fear, Courage, Hate, Hope, Love, Lust, Confidence, Embarrassment."
"Whatever names you might come up with, everyone feels them," Harry gestured at her, "Jedi feel them whether they want to admit it or not. By claiming that they don't, that they're better than those emotions, they're saying that they're better than all sentient beings who do feel them."
"It's not about 'feeling' them. It's about controlling oneself in spite of them. Not all sentient beings destroy a room when they're angry," Ahsoka retorted.
"No, they don't," Harry conceded, "Most generally have grown up accepting these feelings and have adapted other outlets for their anger and frustrations. Having an outlet is important. Always closing your eyes and forcing yourself not to react. Forever pretending like it isn't getting to you… and that it never gets to you, that's just not healthy."
"So how often do you need to explode rooms to be healthy?" Ahsoka asked sarcastically
Harry chuckled a little bit, "It's not always exploding a room. I wasn't kidding when I said I did the same thing to my old Headmaster's Office. For nearly the same reasons even," Harry responded, taking the question seriously despite her sarcastic tone.
"But two years before I blew up the old man's office, I actually blew up my uncle's sister after she implied my father was a drunk and my mother a whore, and that was the reason they were dead," At Ahsoka's horrified expression, Harry couldn't help but snort in amusement while rapidly shaking his head, "No no, not like… exploded, boom. I mean… blew up in the literal sense. She inflated like a balloon and floated off into the sky like she'd been filled with helium,"
Harry chuckled, "She even had the squeaky voice. But then again that was normal for when she got upset. She always got screechy."
"It was honestly not as big a deal as it sounds. It took a couple of ministry employees tracked her down and deflated her, a few memory charms, and she was fine. Well.. as fine as a disgustingly obese gossip monger with an unhealthy fixation on her dog could be," Harry added. Ahsoka's expression of horror had gradually turned to relief, and even some humor by the time he had finished clarifying the memory.
"Really… I think the whole exploding of a room happened three other times and each was caused by a specific event," Harry said as he looked thoughtful searching through his memories.
"What do you mean?" Ahsoka asked, sitting up more fully and crossing her legs comfortably on the bed facing Harry.
"Oh… specific things that set me off. Once it was because some nascent Dark Lord had decided it would be a good idea to abduct two of my grandchildren when they were just toddlers," Harry said his eyes narrowing slightly.
"Grand children…?" Ahsoka's eyes widened and she tilted her head trying to put together the person in front of her with the idea of having grandchildren. Then the rest of what he said had sunk in.
"A Dark Lord? He didn't…" she trailed off with a hitched breath.
"No. She didn't hurt them. Or anyone else when I was through with her and her minions," Harry said with a hint of steel in his voice, "Another time was a few years later, after I found that one of those same grand children had been killed by a dark wizard as an innocent bystander when they'd attacked a muggle museum looking for a magical artifact." Harry's eyes met hers, "My… reaction and actions immediately following those two events tended to make it clear that targeting or injuring my family was pretty much the surest way for any wannabe Dark Lords and their minions to commit suicide,"
Ahsoka paused and examined Harry carefully. She could actually feel that he was being completely honest with her, through whatever way she was sensing him. Otherwise she would have been seriously questioning his claim on having grandchildren.
But she could also sense the undercurrent of sadness that accompanied him when he talked about it. Normally she would have pressed for answers. pelted him with questions about it. But at the moment, she sensed that's not what he needed or wanted. Nor was his actual age versus his apparent age all that important in this particular conversation. "And the third time?"
"Third time?" Harry echoed with a curious tilt of his head.
"Yeah you said three other times, what was the third one?" She asked.
"Oh, it was after I figured out the answer to something I was looking for a long time. Coming to the realization that the answer was under my very nose the entire time, only to realize it too late," he said honestly. There was more than a little bit of bitterness in Harry's tone.
"So… you've only been angry… five times?" She asked as she turned over what Harry was telling her, counting the time he blew up his aunt, and mentioned blowing up his headmaster's office.
"Oh fuck no. I get angry all the time," Harry snorted in response, amusement in his tone and nearly overwhelming her as the emotions he felt assaulted her in confirmation of his outward expressions.
"What?" Ahsoka stared at him with a hint of trepidation, though she could feel amusement from him. She also thought she heard two sounds like quick indrawn breaths but was distracted by Harry's immediate response.
"Sure, I was angry when I found those women... children really, taken as slaves. I was angry about the slaver attack on Kashyyyk. I was angry when the bounty hunters tried to take you or when they shot the bartender lady. I was irritated when Blue tried to lie to us," Harry gestured around, but his tone was lighthearted and open..
"I get mad when Dobby takes initiative to 'help' me out. Because then I never know when I am going to have to clean up some mess he has made… or… when I am going to end up being worshipped as deity by some obscure religious order," Harry said.
Ahsoka snorted in amusement.
"Not joking. That happened," Harry said with a shake of his head. "Twice."
There was a moment's pause, "That I know of," he added with a frown. "But I get mad about it. I get mad when my potions don't come out right. I get mad when I follow up on a lead for something and come up with nothing," He chuckled softly, "Hell, I get mad when I stub my toe getting out of bed in the morning,"
"I get mad at lots of things Miss Tano. But not usually mad enough to blow up a room," He clarified slightly.
"That's a lot of anger," Ahsoka said quietly.
"It is, but only if I let it build. When I let it go or channel it into productivity then it's not destructive," Harry responded
"The Sith channel their anger. That's where they get most of their power," Ahsoka's voice was cautious, what Harry was saying now did seem like something Sith would say. But it was a caution looking for more explanation. She wasn't going to just go with what he said without question.
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