Interlude: I Hate Her

Everything always went my way. It was always meant to be like that. Mommy loves me, Daddy loves me and so does my aunt and the rest of the world.

Except HER. I hate her.

My perfect older sister who always seems to glare at me. I am nothing in comparison to her, but she always seems to look at me in jealousy and anger. But she never says anything. It is so annoying. How can someone be so calm even when being so angry? She frustrates me, I know she hates me so why does she not just end it once and for all? I groaned as my thought process was interrupted by a small pair of feet in front of me.

"Uhm...Anais, will you play with me?-"

"No, leave me alone. I am busy with something important." I replied harshly, David was as annoying as a fly sometimes. They buzz around you thinking that you could grace them with something valuable. I click my tongue and notice the sad face of the small boy in front of me and roll my eyes.

"Come, David, Your eldest sister will play with you for a bit. I have some ink in my office you can use to draw, Mother does not need to know." A voice all too gentle and familiar slithers its way into my ears. I quickly turn to her and see the beautiful and gentle female in front of David. Her luscious hair that cascaded like a waterfall when it's loose and her crinkling, smiling and gentle eyes that seem to hold the world's hope in them, and her thin lips that quickly form into a smile meant only for one person. She only spoke like that to him. Nobody else. Not even me...

"Okay! Can I draw some dinosaurs?!" David bursts into a giggle as he holds her hand and she flinches but then a small soft smile creeps its way onto her lips, like the plastic smile she always had on was but a ghost. I hated it.

How she shows no emotion.

How she always maintains herself firm.

The only power I have over her is mommy. Mommy who will do anything to protect me from my cold-blooded elder sister. Because only Mommy can make Ren writhe in pain. A smirk replaced my frown that gleefully played on my lips, I could solve all this by just snitching on her-

She is glaring at me. She is looking at me like I am a monster. What is her problem? I turn away from her as I place my finger on my chin, deep in thought, there was no turning back or changing plans. Her only fault is treating me like I am less than her.

Although I...

am less than her.

But I have more power over her. My heels clacked endlessly on the marble floor in the dusty hallway as I walk over to a well-lit room where I see a face I love, one that always brings ren to her knees. The office always gleamed in a gold light that even illuminated the hall when the door was opened, to me this was akin to her love towards me, it felt warm just like that light. I frowned quickly and avoided her gaze, "Hm? Anais? ¿Que paso mija?" She asks worriedly, she gets up from her seat and rushes to me worriedly, I smirk and feign innocence once more.

"M-Mommy..."

"Tell me what is the matter? May God have mercy on your poor soul..."

"R-ren and D-David left me out...ren started glaring at me all because I was busy and could not coddle my dear brother. I do not know what went wrong..."

Regina let out a loud and heavy sigh as her eyebrows furrow with displeasure, She begins to head to the door and turns in the direction of Mirren's room. It was done. It was that easy for me, that is what she deserves after everything she made me go through. I lean on the desk with my palm as I watch mommy walk out the door in pure rage, she had it coming anyways.

"Maybe...I should follow her! It is always such a wonderful pleasure to watch that witch of my sister look so displeased."

"I am truly sorry Mother."

"What..?" I let out as I heard her voice through the door, I was shocked, how could someone as proud as her just simply apologize that easy? There has got to be something wrong. Maybe she is doing this to make me angry, I narrowed my eyes at the picture perfect girl before me and frowned, it was rather unexpected to say the least. But I can definitely fix this.

"Ren, You are supposed to apologize to me not to Mommy." I strided in with a tear on my cheek as I tried everything to look as pitiful as possible. Mommy was always sensitive to these kinds of things, a tear would make things far worse, I peeked back up to see Mirren's face only to see a smile creep up on her face, She had this look on her that caused me to jerk back a bit.

What is that? What is that look in her eyes? She never looks at me like that. It is disgusting...How can she look at me like that after all this time! I would not dare beg again for that look of sympathy or affection. She is nothing but a hypocrite, she laughs behind that mask and mocks me I know she hates me. I composed myself again and let a few more tears run rampant as I saw little David clinging to Mirren's leg desperately, shivering like a cold dog. I glared at him as he stared at me with anger and tears in his eyes, Mirren stepped in front of him a smiled warmly at him and then at me. I hated it.

"Well? David is it true that your eldest sister left Anais out on purpose?" 

"N-no."

Mommy turned to me with a disappointed expression, then at Mirren, "Next time include your sister in these things, stop isolating her,"

"I will be honest, I did no such thing. As a matter of fact she was the one who glared at me and David when we left. She chose not to follow us-"

"You selfish liar! How dare you accuse me of being one myself! Are you happy now?!" I screeched, all the servants began to scurry away at the screams I let out. I was not sure what went on with me. Why is it that she always knows how to anger me? She always brings out the worst in me.

"It is all YOUR fault. It is YOUR fault for being perfect! It is YOUR fault for even existing! I HATE YOU. YOU DISGUST ME, YOUR VERY PRESENCE IS REPUGNANT, NOBODY LOVES SOMETHING AS FILTHY AS YOU! YOU HAVE BECOME SO FAT AND UGLY, I WISH YOU WERE NEVER BORN! YOU WH**E-"

"ANAIS DE CLEMENTE! THAT LANGUAGE IS UNACCEPTABLE! How dare-"

"Silence! You do not tell me what to do and what not to do!" I turned just as quickly to the calm Mirren watching me like she would an animal in the wild from a distance. I felt less human when with her, but when I see her calm expression amidst the chaos I am reminded of how inhumane she truly is. But when she looked me right in the eye I saw eyes of profound hurt, like I struck a chord in her heart, But how? She is not human she is just a doll unworthy of anyone's attention. I...How could she betray me like this?

"Are you done?"

"yes." I replied as I raised an eyebrow, she turned to her calf where a small child clung to her desperately covering his ears with tears in his eyes as they slowly rolled off his cheeks that seemed like marshmellows. I looked at her hypocrisy as she turned to him with the gentlest demeanor that I had ever seen in her.

"I ask with all due respect that you stop yelling, David does not like hearing you fight with anyone or yell."

"You only care about him in the end. It is always all about him,"

"Because he is a child."

"No. You just love him more than you love anyone in this house. You are nothing but a foolish hypocrite,"

"So now I assume you are telling me how I shall feel? What feelings shall I have in my heart?"

"I never said that."

"Good. Then do not speak like that again, you only hurt yourself and those around you."

"I know you hate me. Just say it. That is what you do best." I replied in ire, there was nothing that could quench my flames of anger when I become like this. Nothing. She is always trying to act perfect and in accordance, thinking she is superior to everyone else around her. She annoys me more than the insects that fly around you in summer. She was always like a lifeless doll, but her eyes that turn to my brother with such tenderness and her smile so wide that her normally barely seen dimples fade back into existence when she looks at him hurts. It is a love I can never attain, Sometimes I wonder why, I have no idea what made her turn on me one day. She never speaks of herself and carries herself with fragile elegance that enchants those who watch her. Like a fairy...in a cage.

"I...do not hate you. That would take up too much energy and time. I do not have either to hate you," She replies tartly as I see a hand in front of my face and I hear a loud slap. My eyes widen as I watch my composed sister shrivel in despair a wicked smile fades onto my face until I realize that it is not hurt she feels for the slap or the person who did it but rather for...me.

"Set an example. Stop making such a fuss and just apologize to your sister, I hate it when you act like that. That is not the graceful behavior of a Lady of House De Clemente," Mommy had striked her but she seemed to have felt nothing. David began to cry and sob as mommy began to shout at him. "David De Clemente! Silence yourself before I silence you!"

Now that I think about it, Why do I hate her? Is it because she will not love me the same way that she loves my brother? Or because I cannot blame her for everything forever? Do I...feel guilty? But that won't matter. These feelings will dissipate like the dandelion seeds do in spring when they take root. I let out a wry smile and glanced up at my elder sister, "Right. That is not what a Lady should be like, Ren." I clacked my heels towards her and hugged her tightly, "I forgive you," I tell her in a loud voice, but then I grow close enough to her ear and make sure she hears my whispers, "No one will help you anyways. You are forgettable and unlovable, you are worthless without this house. I-"

I felt her arms wrap around me tightly as she patted me on the back and I jerked back only to meet her indifferent gaze once again, "You are you, and I am me. I am not your Mirror, Anais." She replied confidently despite looking like the biggest fool on earth. Her cheek swelled and turned purple and her dress was somewhat ripped around the edges and she had a child clinging onto her like sticky sweets. "You know better so do better. Stop blaming me for your mistakes, It is not hard to earn respect if you work hard for it," 

Like always she lectures me on and on and on like I am a stupid child. Sometimes she says things like she can see right through me. Ha. A smile creeped up on my face for some reason and I could not understand why, I had a rather warm feeling in my chest that could not fade away in time. Mommy stepped up and sent her back to her Chambers with David and me to my own Chambers.

I sat in my beautifully decorated room filled with dolls and toy houses, all colored in like jesters in the royal court, the common folk call them clowns. Though I think it would be an amazing job for my elder sister.

The silence permeated for a while and I could not help but let out a giggle. "I really hate her. How dare she be so hot and cold with me like that. Ridiculous, completely and utterly ridiculous. My sister is an idiot." But then I remember that so am I.

Now she has shown emotion, a weakness one should never let anyone make use of.

"You foolish idiot."

_______________________

"The words of the reckless pierce like swords,

but the tongue of the wise brings healing."

Proverbs 12:18