Chapter 8

It's been over a week since I got home from visiting my friend Susie. I still haven't heard from Phil for 11 days. I have been checking his country network servers on social media to get some updates in the comment section on what people were saying concerning network. Others are saying network has gotten better while others are saying it's still terrible. I've missed him so much. This is the longest we've gone not talking. I've been in class since morning and we are currently having a lunch break. I'm scrolling through Facebook to kill boredom and I randomly come across a post from Phil. Phil is online and hasn't texted me yet. I hope he will do this evening. I thought when his network gets better I should be the first person he calls or texts to check up on but no it's a post on Facebook he makes right. Wow,I thought to myself. Throughout that afternoon class I was absent minded. I just hopped he would text me that evening.

Classes ended at 4pm and immediately after that I started walking straight home. Immediately I got home, I freshened up and prepared some noodles for dinner. I just added 2 packs to the boiling water in the small pot on the cooker after unwrapping them. When they were ready, I removed them from the water and put them on a plate. I then added mayonnaise to them, some tomato sauce and tinned fish. This was how I loved to eat them. I decided to get some rest and wake up 2 hours later to do some studying. I overslept and woke up 4 hours later instead. It was already past 10 pm when I woke. I checked my phone and saw no notifications or missed calls from Phil and I got puzzled. Why would he be online and still not text me to check up on me after this long. I decided to study and brush off this situation at least for the night. I managed to study for an hour then slept afterwards. Two days later I still haven't heard from Phil after his post. Maybe this guy doesn't really feel what I feel for him. There was a time he didn't communicate with me for two days in the past and I got upset and told him it was over. When he saw the texts I sent him that day, he called and I ignored the calls not until he sent me texts apologizing and explaining he had broken his phone screen while at work and his phone only got taken to him that particular day by the phone repairer. I understood and forgave him. I had asked him multiple times if he loved me because of his communication habits and his answer was always that he really loved me. I decided I was going to text him that evening after knocking off from the restaurant. Immediately I got home, I changed into my pink night dress and sent him a text on WhatsApp asking how he was doing and also if his network was still bad. When the message was delivered two ticks were indicated showing he was online. He responded within a few minutes saying he was okay and asked after how I was doing. He went further to tell me that his network was a bit better.I asked him why he didn't bother to let me know that it had gotten better and he texted saying that he had tried to call me two days prior but the call wasn't going through. I told him it's better we break up and remain friends.

He sent sad emoji's and apologized for being a terrible boyfriend and thanked me for loving him. I changed the nickname I had saved him on my messenger and saved back his name instead. I texted him and told him, he wasn't a terrible person but maybe circumstances just couldn't allow for us to be together. I cried myself to sleep that night. This time he didn't even try to ask to make things work cause I know he knows I have been very understanding. I went to class the following morning and could hardly concentrate. All I could think about was Phil. I had created a future with him in my head and this break up felt like a low blow. How am I supposed to move on from this and accept me and Phil will never be together. My heart was literally broken into a thousand pieces. I knew I loved Phil from the beginning but this break up let me know I really really loved him from the bottom of my heart. I have seen people go through heartbreaks and I wondered why they had to cry. I now know the answer. Love is stronger than death and should be done with the right motives. After the lecture was done that mid morning, I reported for work at the restaurant and tried to put up a smile. Angela noticed I wasn't my usual self and I told her I wasn't feeling too well. She told Raynold on my behalf and I was allowed to knock off early. By 3 pm, I was already home. I got home and freshened up then prepared some custard porridge. While eating all I could think about was Phil. I heard a notification on my phone and it was from Phil. He said if he wasn't a terrible person then I wouldn't have felt less prioritized like I wrote in the message. I texted him and wrote that he was still a good person despite all that.

Days went by and Phil and I had kept texting for some reason. Replying to each others messages and in one of them he said that he giving me 100% attention isn't something he would have guaranteed while we were in the relationship and I told him it wasn't 100% attention that I wanted at the time because we both had individual lives and we couldn't be talking all day of course. I told him, I just needed good communication and not him going quiet for a day or days sometimes. He also told me that he was an introvert and he found it difficult to communicate with others consistently nowonder he couldn't keep up with communication with me. In my head I wondered whether I was "others" to him. So he couldn't adjust his habits for me when I was willing to adjust incase something came up and he complained. I was too inlove with Phil and so I decided to ask him one last time if we could make this relationship. "Do you think we can make this work?" I texted "of course, why not" came his response. From there we continued our relationship like nothing happened. I made up my mind not to break up with him. I told myself if this relationship is ever to break it will have to die a natural death. We were happy as always. After a few months, Phil had gone for a whole day without checking up on me again. He never called or texted me. The following day in the evening he called me. After our usual greeting I was unusually quiet. He asked me what was wrong. I told him nothing was wrong. He kept trying to keep me engaged but I was just quiet until we called it a night and ended the call. He started making sure that we didn't go a day without talking and Incase that happened, he'd make sure to call me early the following morning explaining what happened. I knew that I had tried my best to keep up with communication on my side and he attested to it most of the time.

After we closed for the semester, I went to visit my family as I was on leave from work for two weeks. I really enjoyed myself over there. Phil and I kept talking every night. I had told my aunt about him and she looked forward to meeting him. Before school closed, Phil had suggested that we reduce on night calls because I was a student and needed time to either study or rest from my long day. "I'm not complaining babe" I had told me "You don't need to complain before I do the right thing babe" he had told me "Alright babe" I responded. He went further to tell me that we would keep up with communication during the day or he would call earlier than usual. One evening he had called me to check up on me earlier than usual before we even broke up. We talked for a while and he told me he was going to be watching football later in the evening nowonder he called me earlier. He's thoughtful gestures made my heart swell. I loved him even more.

When we decided to reduce on late night calls it didn't really work because we were mostly busy during the day and couldn't manage to keep up with each other as intended so we found ourselves talking on phone mainly at night. One Saturday afternoon Phil had called me and while we were talking he asked me a question " what would you do if I got busy beyond this and couldn't communicate much?" "Well, I would let you be because people always make time for who is important to them" I responded "Yah that's true" he replied. We continued talking and he told me that he was visiting his friends after getting back to his house. He had also mentioned that earlier that day, him and his friends had gone to watch some football match and it was really interesting. Phil enjoyed watching football a lot. It was his favorite sport.