The Art of Being... Dramatic?

Zhuxen sat at her vanity, staring at her reflection with the intensity of a woman about to commit coup de etat.

Today was the day.

She was going to pass out.

In a matter of seconds of course.

She adjusted her hair, making sure it was styled just right. If she was going to dramatically perish for a few moments, she at least needed to look fabulous.

After all, it would be a complete disgrace if Thanatos—the love of her life, in her head, at least,—saw her looking anything less than ethereal.

"You look like a fugitive," Lian muttered, leaning against the doorway.

Zhuxen did not dignify that with a response. Instead, she tilted her chin up and fluttered her eyelashes. "Lian, do you think my complexion is radiant enough to look at?"

Lian did not even blink. "I think your brain cells are passing out faster than you are, my lady."

Zhuxen ignored the insult. "Good! I need to look breathtaking in my final moments."

Lian squinted. "Final moments of what, exactly?"

Zhuxen turned to her, smiling brightly. "Passing away, of course!"

Lian's soul briefly left her body.

"Excuse me?!"

Zhuxen beamed. "Passing out I mean. It's all part of the plan! You see, my dear Lian, I have determined that my previous passing out failed because they were simply not dramatic enough!"

Lian's eye twitched. "And you're really proud with that?!"

Zhuxen waved a delicate hand, ignoring Lian's frustration once again. "Which is why I've planned a grand, beautiful death today. Something that will make Thanatos weep at my beauty."

Lian, now pale as a ghost, took a deep breath. "Lady Zhuxen, just to clarify—you mean fake death, right? Right?!"

Zhuxen blinked innocently. "Well, technically, it'll be real for a few moments, but—"

Lian grabbed her shoulders. "Do you even hear yourself?! This again?! Have you really completely lost your mind?!"

Zhuxen laughed. "Oh, Lian, don't be so dramatic. I have it all planned out! I'm going to drown in the garden fountain."

Silence.

Lian just stared.

And then, with all the grace of a dying cat, she screamed.

"You're going to WHAT?!"

Zhuxen tapped her chin. "Well, technically, it's called 'controlled submersion'—"

"You mean drowning!"

Zhuxen pouted. "You make it sound so morbid."

"Because it is!"

Lian rubbed her temples. She wasn't completely clueless about Thanatos. She'd heard of him before—the Grim Reaper, the collector of souls, the very last being anyone wanted to meet.

She had absolutely no idea why Zhuxen was so determined to meet him of all people.

"Do you even know what he's like?" Lian asked, arms crossed.

Zhuxen lit up. "Of course! My grandmother told me all about him!"

Lian frowned. "And what exactly did she say?"

Zhuxen sighed dreamily. "That he is a tragic, otherworldly figure—tall, handsome, and draped in darkness. A man who has lived centuries alone, yearning for love but cursed to never find it."

Lian just stared.

"That doesn't sound right," she muttered.

"It sounds perfect!" Zhuxen chirped.

Lian groaned. "That's not what I meant!"

Zhuxen ignored her. "Now, I must make my departure! Thanatos awaits!"

Lian looked toward the heavens.

There was no god here.

Zhuxen stood at the edge of the elaborate marble fountain, staring at the water below with the determination of a woman about to commit her greatest act of idiocy yet.

She took a deep breath.

"Alright," she murmured to herself. "Let's make this beautiful."

She posed dramatically—arms raised, head tilted just right. If she was going to fake-drown, she had to do it with style.

Lian, hiding behind a nearby bush, watched in complete horror.

"This is a nightmare," she whispered.

Zhuxen leaped except, instead of a graceful fall into the water, her heel got caught on the edge of the fountain, and she tripped.

And instead of sinking in like a tragic heroine, she landed face-first into the water with an undignified SPLASH.

Lian winced.

The fountain water was not deep. In fact, it barely reached Zhuxen's waist.

Zhuxen lay there, unmoving, face still in the water.

Lian hesitated. "L-Lady Zhuxen…?"

Zhuxen slowly lifted her head, coughing and spluttering, hair dripping like a drowned squirrel.

Lian stared at her. Zhuxen stared back.

Then, she sank back into the water in shame. Lian let out a long, exhausted sigh.

"Thanatos is never coming, is he?" Zhuxen muttered, voice muffled by water.

Lian folded her arms. "No. No, he is not."

Zhuxen let out a dramatic, defeated wail.

After forcing Zhuxen out of the fountain and wrapping her in a towel, Lian dragged her back inside and helped her get dressed in white Victorian night dress, hair still damp.

Zhuxen sat miserably in a chair, shivering slightly. "This is so unfair. I should have at least gotten a vision of him or something."

Lian pinched the bridge of her nose. "You are an absolute disaster."

Zhuxen pouted. "A beautiful disaster."

Lian folded her arms, looking unimpressed. "A wet, half-drowned, embarrassing disaster."

Zhuxen opened her mouth to argue—but the words never came.

Because at that moment, she felt it.

A sudden, unnatural chill crept down her spine, sending goosebumps crawling up her arms. The once-cozy warmth of the room vanished, replaced by an eerie, almost forbidding cold.

Zhuxen shivered.

The air shifted. The candles on the wall flickered violently, their golden flames bending and twisting in an unnatural direction—like they were bowing to something unseen.

She gasped. It was happening. He was here.

Thanatos. Her one true love.

She bolted to her feet, heart racing.

Lian, however, barely even blinked. She just stared at Zhuxen with a deadpan expression.

"Why are you standing like that?"

Zhuxen didn't answer. Her breath hitched as she saw it.

A shadow.

A dark, looming shape slithered across the room, curling into the farthest corner. And then, slowly, a figure stepped forward.

Tall. Cloaked in midnight black. His aura was heavy, suffocating, like the very air before a storm.

Zhuxen's hands flew to her chest.

By the gods—he was even more mysterious than she imagined!

Lian, still watching her, let out a long, exhausted sigh. "Oh no. What now?"

Zhuxen couldn't even hear her. Her focus was entirely on the dark figure now standing before her, face still obscured by shadows.

Was he watching her?

Was he mesmerized by her beauty?m

Was he—

Thanatos suddenly spoke.

And instead of the deep, tragic, heart-melting voice she imagined, it was gruff. Tired. And very, very annoyed.

"Who the hell keeps summoning me over stupid deaths?!"

Silence. A long, awkward, heavy silence.

Zhuxen froze.

Lian, bored out of her mind, looked around. "Who are you looking at?"

Zhuxen's heart skipped a beat.

She turned to her maid, eyes wide. "Lian," she whispered urgently. "Can't you see him?"

Lian raised an eyebrow. "See who?"

Zhuxen turned back.

Thanatos was right there. Standing barely three feet away. His ominous cloak billowed, despite the fact that there was no wind in the room.

He was impossible to miss.

Zhuxen blinked.

Zhuxen sat at her vanity, staring at her reflection with the intensity of a woman about to stage the most artistic fainting spell in the history of humankind.

Today was the day.

She was going to pass out.

For a few seconds. Maybe a minute—if she was feeling ambitious.

She adjusted her hair, making sure each strand was perfectly in place. If she was going to swoon into the arms of fate, she needed to look absolutely breathtaking.

After all, what kind of love story would it be if Thanatos—the love of her life, in her head at least—caught her looking anything less than celestial?

"You look like you're about to commit tax fraud," Lian muttered from the doorway.

Zhuxen didn't even flinch. She simply tilted her chin and fluttered her lashes. "Lian, do you think my complexion is radiant enough to haunt a man's dreams?"

Lian stared at her for a long moment. "I think your brain is already halfway to the afterlife, my lady."

Zhuxen ignored the insult, smiling brightly. "Perfect! I must look ethereal... like a maiden on the verge of a delicate swoon."

Lian's eye twitched. "Swoon into what, exactly?"

Zhuxen's smile widened. "Temporary unconsciousness, of course!"

Lian's soul visibly left her body.

"Excuse me?!"

Zhuxen clapped her hands together. "I've been practicing, you know. But my previous attempts lacked... drama." She struck a theatrical pose, one hand pressed to her forehead. "This time will be different. This time, Thanatos will be moved by my tragic beauty."

Lian looked like she wanted to bash her own head against the wall. "You want to faint... to seduce the Grim Reaper?"

Zhuxen beamed. "Precisely! You understand me so well, Lian."

"I understand you're completely out of your mind!"

Zhuxen waved a delicate hand. "Nonsense. It's all part of the plan. I'm going to lightly submerge myself in the garden fountain."

Silence.

Lian's eye twitched again. "You mean... drown?"

Zhuxen pouted. "Why must you make everything sound so morbid?"

"Because it is morbid!"

Zhuxen leaned in, eyes sparkling. "It's romantic. Tragic maiden, lost to the cruel hands of fate... if only there were a mysterious, brooding death god to carry her soul away."

Lian pinched the bridge of her nose so hard it was a miracle she didn't break it.

"This is the dumbest plan you've ever had," she muttered.

Zhuxen ignored her entirely, rising to her feet with the grace of a woman about to absolutely ruin her own life.

---

Moments later, she stood at the edge of the marble fountain, hands clasped to her chest, gazing down at the water with the determination of a woman about to commit lighthearted temporary self-sabotage.

Lian crouched behind a bush, muttering prayers to every god she could remember.

"This is a nightmare," she whispered.

Zhuxen took a deep breath.

"Alright... let's make this beautiful."

She flung herself into the water.

Except—her heel caught on the fountain's edge, and instead of a graceful fall, she tripped like a sack of potatoes and landed face-first with a spectacular SPLASH.

Lian winced.

The water barely reached Zhuxen's waist.

Zhuxen remained perfectly still, face down in the shallow pool.

Lian leaned out from behind the bush. "L-Lady Zhuxen...?"

Zhuxen slowly lifted her head, sputtering, hair plastered to her face like a very tragic, very wet squirrel.

They locked eyes.

Without a word, Zhuxen flopped back into the water in shame.

Lian sighed so hard she nearly passed out herself.

"Thanatos is never coming, is he?"

Zhuxen's muffled wail echoed from beneath the water. "He doesn't know what he's missing..."

---

After forcibly dragging Zhuxen out of the fountain and wrapping her in a towel, Lian helped her back inside and stuffed her into a white Victorian nightgown—because apparently, even a self-inflicted fainting spell required proper attire.

Zhuxen slumped dramatically in a chair, still shivering. "I should have at least gotten a vision of him."

Lian poured herself a cup of tea purely to resist the urge to strangle her. "You are an absolute disaster."

Zhuxen sniffled. "A beautiful disaster."

Lian didn't even blink. "A wet, half-drowned, embarrassing disaster."

Zhuxen opened her mouth to argue—

And then she felt it.

A sudden, unnatural chill swept through the room, making the hairs on her arms rise.

The warm glow of the candles flickered... then dimmed.

Zhuxen froze.

Her heart skipped a beat.

It was happening.

He was here.

Thanatos. Her one true love.

She bolted to her feet, eyes wide.

Lian didn't even look up from her tea. "What now?"

Zhuxen's breath hitched as she saw it—a dark figure lurking in the corner, draped in midnight black, his presence heavy enough to make the air itself tremble.

He was exactly as her grandmother described—tall, mysterious, tragic.

And... glaring at her.

With the aura of a man who'd been summoned one too many times for absolute nonsense.

Zhuxen's heart fluttered.

Lian lazily sipped her tea. "Why are you standing like that?"

Zhuxen didn't answer, still staring at the looming figure.

Was he enchanted by her beauty?

Was he here to claim her soul?

Was this the start of their forbidden love story?

Thanatos finally spoke.

And instead of a deep, seductive whisper... his voice was gravelly, tired, and deeply unimpressed.

"Who the hell keeps summoning me over stupid failed deaths?"

Zhuxen's heart stopped.

Lian blinked. "Who are you talking to?"

Zhuxen's head snapped toward her maid, eyes wide. "You don't see him?"

Lian looked around the empty room, then back at Zhuxen.

"...No?"

Zhuxen whipped her head back toward Thanatos.

He was right there.

Billowing cloak. Piercing gaze. Radiating existential dread.

Impossible to miss.

Zhuxen blinked.

Then blinked again.

Slowly, she turned back to Lian.

"Are you telling me," she said slowly, "that you can't see the very tall, very intimidating, very grumpy death god standing right here?"