The Auction Hall

Zhuxen strutted down the crooked alley like she was auditioning for Hell's Next Top Model, completely unfazed by the stench of sulfur, broken souls, and a three-headed demon selling stolen toenails on the corner.

The GPS stone in Thanatos' hand suddenly jerked and flickered — its eerie glow shifting back to crimson — now pointing directly at a towering building at the end of the alley.

Zhuxen narrowed her eyes.

The building stood like a rotting monolith — cracked black marble, windows sealed with chains, and a crooked neon sign flickering the words:

"Soulbound Auctions: No Refunds, No Mercy."

Thanatos' shoulders instantly dropped like all the misery of the underworld had just been poured back into his spine.

He recognized this place.

Zhuxen squinted at him.

"You know this building?"

Thanatos exhaled through his nose.

"...Unfortunately."

Zhuxen's eyes glinted.

"Did you... sell something here?"

Thanatos' jaw clenched. His silence was answer enough.

Zhuxen's smile stretched slow and dangerous.

"Was it your dignity?"

Thanatos gave her the blankest death stare in the history of death stares.

But before he could answer, a low growl echoed from the front gates — where two hell creatures stood guard.

On the left was a purgatory warden — half-bull, half-decaying corpse — holding a clipboard and chewing a burning cigar like it owed him money.

On the right was a hellcat the size of a small horse — sleek black fur, glowing orange eyes, and a cigarette tucked between its teeth as if it were on its fifth coffee break of the day.

It flicked an ear lazily, then spoke in the most bored mafia henchman voice Zhuxen had ever heard.

"Password."

Zhuxen blinked.

"I'm sorry — is the cat... talking?"

The hellcat blew out a thin stream of smoke.

"No, lady. You're hallucinating from the fumes of your own perfume."

Zhuxen's nostrils flared, one eye twitching.

"This is Moonlit Elixir from the House of Qingyuan. It costs more than your entire miserable feline existence."

The cat flicked its cigarette onto the ground.

"Smells like debt and bad life choices to me."

Thanatos subtly stepped aside — because he knew this cat was about thirty seconds away from being skinned and turned into Zhuxen's next fur coat.

Zhuxen's fingers twitched under her cloak, already calculating how many silver hairpins it would take to impale a hellcat through the mouth without breaking a sweat.

But Thanatos coughed — loudly — before Tartarus got one feline funeral richer.

"We're here for the auction."

The hellcat didn't blink.

"Password."

Thanatos' eyelid twitched. He glanced at Zhuxen, clearly hoping she wouldn't ask.

She did.

"What's the password?"

Thanatos stared straight ahead, the faintest pink flush creeping up his ears.

"...Meow meow, daddy's home."

Zhuxen's lips immediately pressed together to suppress the unholy cackle threatening to burst out of her soul.

She failed.

"MEOW MEOW, DADDY'S HOME?!"

The hellcat squinted, nodding approvingly.

"Correct. Welcome back, sir."

Zhuxen collapsed onto the wall wheezing while Thanatos glared straight ahead like he was mentally disassociating into the next dimension.

"Wait—wait," Zhuxen wiped tears from her eyes, clutching her stomach. "You — you used to come here regularly? With that password?"

Thanatos' eye twitched. "It's a very exclusive establishment."

"Exclusive to who? Failed poets and exorcists with gambling debts?"

The hellcat flicked its tail.

"Actually, yeah."

Zhuxen doubled over again.

Thanatos physically dragged her by the elbow through the gate while she was still trying not to laugh herself into the abyss.

Behind them, Lian's distant wail echoed through the canyon.

"...I STILL... CAN'T... CLIMB..."

Zhuxen didn't even spare her a glance.

"Pray harder, Lian."

Zhuxen's heels clicked against the polished marble floors as she and Thanatos stepped into the building tower — and for a full five seconds, she completely forgot they were in the middle of hell.

Because the inside?

It looked like Satan's private five-star hotel.

The walls were dripping with gold trimmings, massive crystal chandeliers floated mid-air on their own, and an orchestra of skeletons played soft jazz in the corner — one of them casually removing his own rib to use as a violin bow.

Zhuxen's eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"What the—? Why does this place look like the underworld's Met Gala?"

Thanatos sighed, shoving his hands deeper into his cloak pockets.

"Because this is where the rich demons launder their stolen souls."

Zhuxen spun on her heel. "Are you telling me Tartarus has demon billionaires while my maid is out there dangling off a cliff like expired laundry?!"

"Welcome to hell."

Zhuxen's eye twitched dangerously — but before she could start drafting a socialist manifesto, a sultry voice purred from the velvet-coated shadows.

"Oh, my dear Than..."

Zhuxen turned — just in time to see a demon lady slither out from the crowd like a cat walking down a Paris runway.

"Than?!" He glared at Thanatos who only looked up the non-existent sky.

"Wow, a bird," he choked.

The woman wore a crimson silk dress so tight it could probably suffocate a whole village. Her skin was smooth, glowing molten bronze, and two curled horns peeked from under her raven hair.

Every curve of her body looked personally sculpted by the devil himself — and judging by the way every demon in the room was staring, she probably charged by the minute just to breathe near you.

Zhuxen's arms instantly folded across her chest.

Great. Demon Instagram models.

The demoness trailed a long, clawed finger down Thanatos' arm. "Why have you never visited my chamber...?"

Zhuxen's head snapped towards Thanatos so fast her neck almost broke. "I'm sorry — your what now?!"

Thanatos, to his credit, looked like he was actively trying to evaporate into thin air. "I... don't... remember?"

The demoness chuckled low, her eyes glowing with hellfire. "Oh, darling... That's because I charge extra to erase the memories."

Zhuxen's jaw dropped so hard her soul almost left her body.

"You—YOU PAID FOR DEMON SERVICES?!"

Thanatos' entire soul visibly aged ten years in real time. "It was a thousand years ago!"

"YOU'RE LITERALLY IMMORTAL, THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT BETTER!"

The demoness pouted, tracing her claws under Thanatos' chin. "Oh, don't be shy, darling. I still have your name tattooed on my tail."

Zhuxen physically choked on her own rage.

Thanatos' ears turned a lovely shade of death-pink. "I DON'T KNOW HOW THAT HAPPENED."

Zhuxen's nostrils flared, steam practically shooting out. "Meow meow daddy's home," she muttered under her breath.

Thanatos shot her a death glare that could probably kill five mortals and a minor angel. "I will personally guide your soul to the afterlife if you don't shut up."

Zhuxen grinned, absolutely not shutting up. "Oh no, my love, please—don't let me interrupt your tender reunion." She pressed both hands on her heart— she's not even exaggerating. "Do you want me to wait here while you rekindle your passionate hell romance?"

The demoness flicked her gaze towards Zhuxen — and for half a second, the temperature in the room plunged to freezing.

"Oh," she purred. "And who is this little lost lamb?"

Zhuxen's eye twitched. "I'm his fiancée."

Thanatos' soul genuinely tried to leave his body. "She's not my—"

Zhuxen elbowed him so hard in the ribs he nearly dropped the GPS stone. "YES. I. AM." She beamed sweetly. "We are madly, violently in love. He can't keep his bony hands off me."

Thanatos wheezed. "I literally—"

"Shhh." Zhuxen patted his chest like a proud trophy wife. "He's just shy."

The demoness' molten eyes narrowed into slits. For three tense seconds, it was like two apex predators silently sizing each other up before a bloodbath.

Finally, the demoness plastered on a sickly sweet smile. "How... precious."

Zhuxen's grin sharpened. "Isn't it?"

Thanatos was 90% sure he was about to get murdered by both women — but at least he'd die knowing he wasn't the biggest drama queen in the room for once.

The demoness' red-painted lips curled into a smug smile, her claws tracing lazy circles on Thanatos' shoulder — which made Zhuxen's eye twitch so hard her whole ancestral bloodline probably felt it.

"You must forgive my rudeness," the demoness purred, eyes never leaving Zhuxen. "I didn't introduce myself."

She stepped back with the grace of a serpent, giving a dramatic little curtsy like she was about to accept an Oscar for Best Supporting Hell Mistress in a Scythe-Losing Scandal.

"My name is Fuyu — daughter of the 110th daughter of Azaziel."

Zhuxen's polite smile froze.

Her eye twitched harder.

"Ah." She flicked her gaze up and down, voice sweet enough to poison an entire water supply. "So you're one of Azaziel's... discount spawns."

Thanatos immediately slapped a hand over his mouth to keep from choking on his own panic.

Fuyu's molten eyes narrowed into slits.

"Excuse me?"

Zhuxen batted her eyelashes innocently.

"Oh, no offense. I'm just surprised he still had time to make offspring between all his fraudulent Etsy scams."

Fuyu's jaw clenched.

Thanatos instantly stepped three feet back and pretended to inspect the wallpaper like he had never met either woman in his life.

Fuyu forced another sickly sweet smile, tilting her head. "You must be the maid."

Zhuxen's smile sharpened like a knife. "And you must be the reason he paid to erase his memories."

Thanatos nearly dropped the stone trying to cover his laugh with a loud, fake cough.

Fuyu's molten eyes flared, but before she could spit venom, Zhuxen twirled sensationally on one heel — sending her borrowed grim reaper cloak flaring behind her like she was personally about to dethrone Satan and start her own underworld dynasty.

"Come, my love," she said loudly, grabbing Thanatos' arm and practically yanking him forward. "We have an auction to crash and a scythe to find," she whispered the last words, Fuyu's demon ears wasn't even able to catch on.

They followed the GPS light deeper into the auction house, passing more obscenely rich demons lounging on velvet sofas, sipping from goblets filled with what was definitely not wine. Every creature in the room looked like they'd just stepped out of a luxury magazine — horns polished, tails manicured, wings oiled to perfection.

Zhuxen muttered under her breath.

"This is the most attractive lineup of evil I've ever seen. What is this — the Victoria's Secret Hell Show?"

A low whisper of laughter echoed from the corner.

Zhuxen's head snapped around.

A shirtless incubus with six-pack abs and horns curved like a crown lifted his glass towards her with a lazy smirk.

"Do you want to place a bid on me, little demon?"

Zhuxen opened her mouth — Thanatos physically shoved her behind him like a human firewall.

"Nope. No, she doesn't. She's broke. Next."

Zhuxen popped her head back out, voice saccharine.

"But what if I just wanted to—"

"NEXT."

Zhuxen huffed, crossing her arms.

"You're no fun."

"I'm trying to keep you from accidentally selling your soul to the hottest man in the underworld."

Zhuxen pouted. "Maybe I wanted to."

"Well, you can't. Because your soul is mine."

The second those words left his mouth, Thanatos froze. Zhuxen's entire face lit up like Christmas morning.

"Oh?" She clasped both hands over her heart, blinking rapidly. "Did you just... claim me, my love?"

Thanatos' entire face malfunctioned. "I—I meant—I didn't mean—"

"Oh, no, please." Zhuxen fluttered her lashes melodramatically. "Say it again. But slower."

Thanatos looked like he'd rather be dragged through seven circles of hell twice.

"I... didn't... mean it like that," Thanatos groaned, massaging his temples like he was one paperwork away from filing an eternal resignation. "You're supposed to be dead, remember? I am the Grim Reaper obliged to escort you back here — or through the gates of heaven, in case you miraculously managed to confess your sins before I find my scythe."

Zhuxen picked at her nails. "Meh. Lame excuse."

Thanatos' lips curled — the only sign he hadn't fully ascended to apathy yet. Honestly, at this point, he wouldn't be surprised if she managed to scam her way into heaven without confessing a single sin.

Of course, Thanatos didn't even try to counter her anymore. He's already in overtime and very tired as fuck.

He could even choose to surrender Zhuxen to another grim reaper and smite her soul, but— he needs to know the secret behind her abilities before anything else. He wanted to know more about it to whether he might be able to use it to his benefits or not.

"I know I'm beautiful, but to stare at me like—afhkk—" Zhuxen's sentence choked mid-air as Thanatos accidentally-on-purpose shoulder-checked her, nearly making her sniff his soul straight out of his body.

The GPS stone flickered brighter as they reached the main auction hall — a grand chamber lined with black marble pillars, velvet drapes, and gilded cages where souls in glass jars floated behind glass.

Zhuxen wrinkled her nose. "This is the creepiest flea market I've ever been to."

Thanatos muttered dryly. "You should see the clearance section."

At the center of the room, a massive obsidian stage loomed — where a sleazy-looking demon in a pinstripe suit was currently auctioning off a bottled poet's soul.

Zhuxen scanned the room, eyes narrowing.

"Okay. Where would one hide a missing scythe in here?"

Thanatos sighed. "If I were an ancient soul-bound death weapon... I'd probably be in the VIP vault."

Zhuxen's lips curled. "Great. How do we get in?"

Thanatos rubbed the back of his neck. "...Usually by offering something extremely valuable."

Zhuxen turned to him, eyes glinting. "Like a secret?"

Thanatos' entire soul flatlined. "Don't."

Zhuxen smirked. "Meow meow daddy's home?"

Thanatos' whole body visibly aged another hundred years. "I'm begging you."

Zhuxen leaned in close, voice a sultry whisper. "Meow meow, daddy's home."

Thanatos physically died on the spot.

And that's how they got into the VIP vault — with Fuyu seething behind them, Lian still halfway to heaven outside, and Thanatos silently contemplating if losing his scythe was worth the emotional damage he was currently enduring.