Chapter 18

Vance's POV

I looked at the life I had just taken, it was a young child, a mother's pup. 

The mother wails out loudly in defiance, damming all lupine authority, she throws herself against the bare floor, hitting her head hard. 

Other pack mothers, at first reluctant and fearful, begin to join her. 

 The she-wolves howled mournfully under the silver glow of the moon. Their sorrow echoed through the trees, in profound grief. 

The already not-so vibrant spirit of the wilderness dimmed further as their eyes reflected the pain of losing a precious pup.

Each step through the moonlit shadows was heavy, burdened by the weight of a grieving mother's heart. 

Nadia holds me closer. 

The pack felt the depth of her sorrow, a collective lamentation for the loss that affected them all.

They all mourn with her as she curls up on the cold floor, longing for the warmth of her pup's fur against hers.

If not for so many things, including the fact that Alpha blood runs in me, I know they would have started a rebellion there and then. 

A part of me expects Nadia to leave me and huddle up with the rest of the females consoling the bereaved mother. 

 "You did well." She says in my ears, drawing imaginary lines with her long bony fingers on the back of my hand. 

I normally would not care what anyone thinks. I'm the Alpha, and whatever I do or say stands, whether or not it is wrong or right. 

But I shudder internally at what Nadia said. How could a soon-to-be mother feel this way? 

She was going to be a mother, if not for Tal… That does not matter now. 

But I expected some emotion. She lost our pup as a fetus, how much more a grown one? 

 "How do you feel?" Nadia asks, jutting me out of my reverie. It's then I realized I had been looking her square in the face all the while. 

 "I should be asking you that." I replied to her. I really do not care, I just want to confirm my thoughts. 

 "I love you, Vance, I have always loved you. I will always respect any decisions you make, and I'll always be there with you." There is very little emotion in her face. 

 "You don't…? Never mind." I have nothing more to say to her. Lately, she has been irritating me, effortlessly. 

 "What do you mean by that?" not all the sullen pack members have trickled out, and Nadia is more than just ready to cause yet another scene. 

 "I'm your Alpha, and that is no way to talk to me you filthy little bitch!" She can do whatever she wants with that piece of old news. I turn my back immediately and walk on on her, banging the door shut behind me. 

As I expected I hear her footsteps fall in this direction. 

Life with Talia was not this complicated, it was far more peaceful and definitely stressless. 

 As much as I try to kick her out of my head, Nadia and her very ugly personality keeps begging for comparison. 

I however have never compared her to Talia anywhere other than in my mind. 

Talia's spirit must be around, and very strong. 

Nadia walks into the room. 

I really miss those days when Alex was a little more hot blooded, where for offenses as little as literally stepping on my toes, he tears heads away from bodies. 

I'm unsure of the next move she is going to pull, from her looks, she too is. 

We both stand there, staring ourselves in the eye, each watching for the others next step. 

I see her heave a sigh, before walking over to me. 

The stolen fruit is always the sweetest, they say. I used to appreciate her more when we weren't exclusive, when we both knew we should not be doing it, when Talia was still in the picture. It was definitely more fun. 

I remember how I used to lust after her while I was with Talia, how we used to make out behind Talia's back, how I called for her on days when Talia felt unlovable and wanted to be left alone. How Talia would run back into my arms crying about the pain that comes through her body, how I would lie to Talia that it was all normal and that it only happened when she felt bad. How I programmed my making out with Nadia to match Talia's mood swings. How I contributed to her low self esteem. 

Dear Moon Goddess, there's some things I've sown that I do not want to reap. 

Nadia gets down on her knees and starts licking my toes. 

Alex is more that disgusted at her wolf, Tyla, he is more angry. 

I try to contain Alex within me and let her do her thing, he's threatening to come out, but I do not want to be the Alpha who killed a boy and his Luna on the same night. 

My eyes are uncontrollably turning black from anger. Nadia is scared and is making uncontrollable jerky movements, letting what would have been otherwise sensual and evocative, weird and nauseous. 

 "Turn off the light." Nadia has a fetish for being commanded when she's aroused, that much I know. 

With the speed of lightning, she turns it off and scurries back to my feet. 

Never have I heard an Alpha dislike his Luna as much as I do not like Nadia. To think that I just killed a boy for the same thing… 

 "What is the problem?" Nadia quits fooling herself and looks at me squarely, I can see her falling shoulders even in the dark. "Why do you not like me so much? It's supposed to be our wedding night. We are supposed to be making love under this bright moonlight, with the undivided attention of Moon Goddess, so we can get what we both badly want."

 "Don't you say that! Don't you call her name." I bark at her, throwing her off her balance. 

 "Vance…" Her quaking voices calls

 "It's Alpha Vance to you!" I cut in before she goes any further. 

 "Alpha Vance, but…but Talia always referred to you as…as Vance." Her sudden timidity further irritates me, I am barely holding Alex back from coming out. 

 "You want to be like her?! Oh, are you planning to kill my next heir?" 

 "Please don't think that." She falls on her knees begging. 

I gain far more satisfaction from seeing her begging than making love to her, which we haven't even been able to do since…well!