Chapter 5: The Art of Winning While Napping
Ren stretched out on the grass, arms behind his head again. The sun felt nice, his stats kept climbing, and the Dire Wolf Alpha was still stuck to a tree like an unfortunate wall decoration. Life was good.
[Strength +1]
[Defense +1]
[Stamina +1]
Ren peeked at his status screen, feeling a grin tug at his lips. His agility alone looked like something a rogue would kill for — all without lifting a finger.
"Man, I should've gotten hit by a truck ages ago," he muttered.
The crate and the glowing Skill Orb still sat next to him, untouched. He wasn't in a hurry. The system clearly rewarded laziness, and Ren was nothing if not dedicated to his craft.
He barely managed to close his eyes before the sound of approaching footsteps rustled through the clearing.
"Oh, come on," Ren groaned. "Do I have a sign on me that says 'free XP?'"
A voice, sharp and female, cut through the air. "What the hell happened here?"
Ren cracked one eye open. A girl stood at the edge of the clearing, staring at the tree where Scarface was still embedded. She looked about his age — maybe a year younger — with short, fiery red hair and a longsword strapped to her back. Her leather armor looked well-worn, but not cheap.
More importantly, she wasn't alone.
Behind her was a guy built like a brick wall, holding an axe the size of Ren's torso. His scowl looked permanent.
[New Character Encountered: Adventurer Party]
[Level: ???]
Threat Level: Unknown]
Ren blinked. "Adventurers, huh? That's new."
The girl's eyes snapped to him. "Did you do this?"
Ren sighed. "Define 'do.'"
She stared at the bandit leader, then at the Dire Wolf Alpha still half-buried in the tree. Her eyes narrowed. "You beat an alpha wolf? Alone?"
Ren sat up, stretching. "I wouldn't say 'beat.' It kinda threw itself at me."
The brick wall of a guy snorted. "Yeah, right. You're just some lazy peasant."
Ren shrugged. "Hey, that's 'Insufferable Slacker' to you. Earned that title fair and square."
[Title Triggered: Insufferable Slacker]
Enemies are 10% more likely to underestimate you.
The guy rolled his eyes. "You're full of crap."
The red-haired girl stepped forward, eyeing Ren suspiciously. "You don't look like a fighter. How did you survive that thing?"
Ren leaned back on his elbows. "Well, I laid here. It tried to kill me. I dodged by accident. Repeat until victory."
The girl blinked. "That's… the dumbest thing I've ever heard."
"Yeah, but it worked."
She opened her mouth to argue — then froze.
The bushes rustled again. This time, the ground vibrated slightly. Heavy steps. Ren sat up properly, frowning.
[Wild Monster Encountered: Forest Troll]
[Level: 18]
[HP: 1500/1500]
[Threat Level: Dangerous]
"Oh, neat," Ren said dryly. "It's ugly o'clock."
The troll emerged from the treeline, towering over them. Its skin was mottled green and gray, its eyes sunken and yellow. Thick, rope-like muscles bulged as it stomped forward, carrying a crude club made from what looked like an entire tree trunk.
The red-haired girl cursed. "A forest troll? This deep in the woods? That's not normal."
The brick wall guy tightened his grip on his axe. "We can take it."
Ren, meanwhile, flopped back onto the grass. "Yeah, you guys have fun with that. I'll be over here, providing moral support."
The girl shot him an incredulous look. "Are you serious?!"
Ren closed his eyes. "Dead serious. I'm allergic to effort."
The troll roared, shaking the air. The adventurers sprang into action — or tried to.
The brick wall guy charged first, swinging his axe in a wide arc. The troll didn't even bother dodging. It swatted him aside like a fly. He hit a tree hard enough to splinter the bark and didn't get back up.
The girl cursed again, drawing her sword. She moved fast, a blur of red and steel. Ren had to admit, she wasn't bad. Her sword flashed, slashing into the troll's leg — but the blade barely made a scratch.
"Ah, crap," she muttered. "Its skin's too tough!"
The troll swung down at her. She dodged, barely. The force of the impact cratered the ground where she'd been standing.
Ren yawned. "Yeah, that looks like a you problem."
The girl snapped at him without looking. "Do something, you idiot!"
Ren stretched, popping his neck. "Fine, fine. I guess I could help."
[New Title Activated: The Slacker Hero]
Enemies are 15% more likely to underestimate you. All stat gains from idling increased by 10%.
The troll locked eyes with him. It tilted its head, confused — and Ren waved lazily. "Hey, big guy. Wanna take a swing at me instead?"
The troll roared and charged.
[Skill Activated: Slacker's Aura]
Enemy combat instincts reduced.
The troll slowed. Its steps became sluggish, like it was second-guessing itself.
Ren smirked. "Yeah, that's what I thought."
The girl stared in shock. "What the hell did you just do?"
Ren didn't answer. He was too busy leaning back again, getting comfortable.
The troll raised its club. Ren yawned — and rolled onto his side to avoid a patch of grass that was poking his back.
[Lazy Dodge Activated]
[Agility +5]
The club slammed into the ground, missing him by inches.
The troll roared again, angrier now. It swung faster — and Ren scratched his nose, shifting his head. The club missed again.
[Lazy Dodge Activated]
[Agility +5]
The girl blinked, eyes wide. "Is… is he dodging on accident?"
Ren grinned. "I like to think of it as a very advanced strategy called 'not caring.'"
The troll reared back for a third swing. Ren didn't even bother watching. He shifted onto his other side, getting comfortable.
[Counter Slouch Activated]
The club slammed into him — and the force rebounded. A shockwave blasted out, sending the troll flying backward into a tree with a ground-shaking crash.
[Troll Defeated!]
[+400 XP]
[Level Up! Level 3 → 4]
[New Skill Unlocked: Nap Time's Over]
Once per day, instantly restore HP, stamina, and clear all status effects when waking from a nap.
Ren sat up, yawning. "Well, that wasn't so bad."
The girl stared at him, speechless. "...Who are you?"
Ren smirked. "Me? I'm just a guy who likes naps."
He leaned back again, hands behind his head.
[Strength +1]
[Defense +1]
[Stamina +1]
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