Chapter 12: Too Lazy to Die
Ren groaned into the dirt, the world spinning. His limbs felt like they were made of lead, and his head pounded like a drum solo.
The system chimed again.
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[Next Wave Incoming.]
[Estimated Arrival: 45 Seconds.]
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"Ugh…" Ren mumbled. "Why can't they take a coffee break or something?"
Aria stormed over, her boots splashing through monster guts. She crouched next to him, glaring daggers. "You absolute idiot. What part of 'don't you dare' sounded like a suggestion?"
Ren, face still buried in the dirt, raised a weak hand. "The 'dare' part?"
She looked ready to strangle him.
Garth hobbled over, still wheezing. "I-I think he actually broke physics back there. Did you see the way those things exploded? It was like" He mimed an explosion with his hands, then winced, clutching his side. " like a meat volcano."
The system chimed again.
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[Passive Skill Triggered: Unfazed Idiocy]
[+10% Physical Recovery when acting like nothing is wrong.]
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Ren groaned as his body twitched, strength sluggishly returning. He managed to roll onto his back. "See? System's on my side."
Aria stared at him, her voice dangerously low. "I hate you so much."
Ren grinned up at the sky. "Yeah. You've mentioned."
The ground rumbled again, heavier this time. Distant rooftops trembled. Another horn blared, this one deeper angrier.
The system chimed.
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[Wave 3 Approaching.]
[Elite Units Detected.]
[Warning: Threat Level Increased.]
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"That sounds like a 'you' problem," Ren muttered, still sprawled out.
Aria grabbed him by the collar and hauled him up. "Get. Up. Now."
Ren blinked at her, still half-limp in her grip. "But I'm tired."
The system chimed.
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[New Skill Unlocked: Deadweight Resolve]
[For every second you refuse to stand up, allies gain +5% Strength.]
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Garth stared at the notification. "…I think the system's broken."
Ren tilted his head. "Or maybe it's just efficient."
Aria groaned, dropping him with a thud.
Ren landed on his side. "Ow. Rude."
The city trembled again, dust falling from nearby rooftops. Screams echoed from the far streets.
The system chimed again faster this time.
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[Elite Unit Identified: Abyssal Siege Breaker]
[Classification: Dungeon Juggernaut]
[Threat Level: Calamity]
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Ren squinted into the distance. A massive, hulking figure emerged from the shadows, standing nearly three stories tall. It looked like a walking fortress made of twisted metal and pulsing black flesh. Its eyes glowed a deep, angry crimson, and jagged chains dangled from its arms, dragging across the cobblestones with a metallic screech.
It roared a sound so deep it rattled their bones.
Garth took one look and squeaked. "Nope."
The system chimed.
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[Optional Objective Unlocked: Defeat the Abyssal Siege Breaker.]
[Reward: ???]
[Penalty: Solcrest's Eastern Wall Collapses.]
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Ren squinted harder. "...Is it just me, or does that thing look like it's having a bad day?"
"Yeah," Garth wheezed, "and we're about to make it worse."
The Siege Breaker lifted one massive, rusted foot and stepped forward the ground cracked beneath its weight. Each step sent tremors through the city.
Aria grabbed her sword. "We need a plan."
Ren blinked at her. "Plan? I figured we'd just… let Zalgros handle it."
The system chimed.
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[Wraith Tyrant: Resting (4 minutes remaining)]
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Ren groaned. "Lazy jerk."
Aria stared at him, deadpan. "Pot, meet kettle."
The Siege Breaker stomped forward, faster now. It raised one massive arm, chains whipping behind it. The nearest guard tower exploded into rubble with a single swing.
Garth's voice cracked. "P-Plan?"
Ren sighed, wobbling to his feet. His legs shook. His muscles screamed. His head pounded.
The system chimed.
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[Emergency Skill Unlocked: 'Fine, I'll Do It Myself']
[+50% Strength, +50% Speed for 30 seconds but you're going to regret it.]
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Ren stared at the screen. "...That's ominous."
"Ren!" Aria barked. "Do something!"
Ren groaned, cracking his neck. "Yeah, yeah. Hold my metaphorical beer."
He activated the skill.
His body surged with power his muscles burned, his veins felt like molten lava, but he moved. Faster than before. The world blurred again.
He launched himself toward the Siege Breaker like a cannonball, slamming into its leg. The shockwave blasted through the street. The monster staggered actually staggered back a step.
The system chimed.
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[Critical Hit! Damage Dealt: 10,482]
[Effect Triggered: Concussive Blow - Stunned for 3 seconds]
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The Siege Breaker froze, chains rattling.
Ren blinked. "Huh. That worked."
Then the pain hit.
The system chimed again.
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[Skill Effect Ending: Congratulations, you're dying.]
[HP Reduced to 1.]
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Ren collapsed face-first into the street again.
"Ow."
Aria screamed his name, running toward him. Garth fumbled, trying to pull his staff free. The Siege Breaker shook off the stun, chains whipping around as it roared again.
Ren barely lifted his head. "Aria… do the… sword thing."
She glared down at him. "Do you want me to hit you with it?"
The system chimed one last time.
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[Hidden Condition Met: "Too Lazy to Die"]
[Unlocking Unique Passive: Undying Sloth]
[When reduced to 1 HP, you cannot die for the next 10 seconds.]
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Ren blinked, face still in the dirt. "…Neat."
The Siege Breaker's chains came crashing down.
Aria screamed.
Ren sighed. "Guess I'm doing this again."
He forced his body to move. Ten seconds was plenty.
The system chimed.
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[Ultimate Skill Unlocked: Sovereign's Slouch]
[Take a break. Everything else dies.]
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Ren smirked, still on the ground. "Let's see how this works."
He activated the skill.
The last thing he saw was a blinding flash.
Then everything went black.
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