Between Fire and Shadow

Kael

His heart pounded so loudly he could barely breathe.

Aeryn's fingers tightened around his wrist—possessive, grounding, as if daring him to slip away.

And Riven… Riven stood before him like a storm barely held in check, golden eyes burning with something between fury and heartbreak.

Kael swallowed hard. He had no words. No way to untangle the emotions clawing at his chest.

"Say something," Riven demanded, his voice sharp. "Did you mean it?"

Kael hesitated.

How could he answer that?

Because once—yes. Once, Riven had been his world. A promise whispered beneath bloodstained skies, a vow spoken in the heat of battle. They had fought together, bled together. And when Kael had been dragged into the abyss, he had sworn—sworn—that he would wait. That Riven would find him.

But then…

Aeryn.

Aeryn, who had not waited. Who had not searched through time and fate but had fought through hell itself to take him back.

Aeryn, who was still holding him like he was something precious. Something worth choosing.

Kael's throat tightened.

"Riven," he whispered. "I—"

"Enough," Aeryn cut in, his voice cold as steel. "He doesn't owe you anything."

Riven's eyes snapped to him.

"Is that what you think?" he asked, voice deceptively calm. "That he doesn't owe me?"

Something dangerous crackled in the air between them.

Kael felt the pressure of it—fire against shadow, fury against defiance.

"Let go of him," Riven said, taking a slow step forward.

Aeryn didn't move. "Make me."

A sharp inhale. A moment stretched too thin.

Then—power erupted.

Aeryn's magic flared, a rush of brilliant blue energy cracking against the ground, sending a gust of wind through the darkened ruins around them.

Riven's eyes burned gold as fire ignited in his palm.

Kael felt something deep inside him snap.

"Stop!"

His voice ripped through the air like a blade, his own magic lashing out—dark, chaotic, uncontrolled.

Both Aeryn and Riven froze.

The shadows curled around Kael's feet, the abyss stirring in response to his emotions. His breath came fast, uneven.

"I can't—" Kael swallowed hard, chest tight. "I can't do this. Not like this."

Aeryn's fingers twitched against his skin, but he didn't speak.

Riven exhaled slowly, his fire dimming, but his eyes remained unwavering. "Then tell me, Kael," he said, voice quieter now. "Do you regret it?"

Kael felt his pulse falter.

"Regret what?"

"Us."

The weight of that single word crushed him.

Aeryn's hold on him tightened, as if bracing for the answer.

Kael's heart ached.

Because the truth was—he didn't know.

Kael

Regret.

It was such a simple word, yet it felt like a blade lodged between his ribs.

Did he regret it?

How could he? How could he ever regret Riven—the warmth of his laughter in cold battle camps, the way his hands had steadied Kael's shaking ones, the promises they had whispered to each other between breaths of war and exhaustion?

How could he regret Aeryn, who had stormed through the abyss, who had held him when everything else had let him go, who kissed him like he would carve Kael's name into his very soul?

The answer wasn't regret.

The answer was pain.

Kael clenched his fists, shadows coiling around his wrists, mirroring the chaos in his chest.

"Kael," Aeryn murmured, his voice low, close. Too close.

Riven exhaled sharply, tension rippling off him. "You won't answer me," he said bitterly, his golden eyes dimming into something far more dangerous. Disappointment. "That's enough of an answer."

Kael flinched. "Riven—"

"Don't," Riven cut in, his voice quieter now. Not angry. Tired. "You have already chosen."

The words sent a sharp ache through Kael's chest.

Because had he?

Or had fate chosen for him?

Aeryn had found him first. Had fought for him. Had reached him before Riven could.

That wasn't choice. That was timing.

And timing was cruel.

Aeryn stepped forward, his magic humming low against Kael's skin. Protective. Possessive. "If you walked away from me now," he said quietly, "it would break me."

Kael inhaled sharply.

His hands shook.

Riven turned away, his jaw tight. "I won't beg," he murmured. "Not when I already lost you once."

Something deep and aching bloomed in Kael's chest.

He wanted to reach out—to fix this, to find a way where nobody bled for loving him.

But someone would.

And the weight of that truth crushed him.

Aeryn reached for him again, voice soft. "Kael—"

"I need time." The words burst from Kael's lips before he even thought them, raw, desperate. His breath came fast, heart hammering. "I can't—I can't do this right now."

Riven's shoulders tensed.

Aeryn's fingers curled into a fist.

Silence stretched between them.

Kael turned away before he could see their eyes, before the weight of their love and anger and longing could drown him whole.

Because the truth was—

He loved them both.

And love was never meant to be kind.

Kael

The wind was restless. It rushed through the crumbling ruins, whispering secrets between the cracks, pulling at my clothes as if trying to make me move. To run. To leave before I shattered completely.

But I couldn't.

Not with Aeryn standing so close behind me, his presence burning against my back, heavy and unrelenting.

Not with Riven in front of me, his golden eyes searching—demanding, aching.

Not with the weight of both of them pressing into my ribs, making it hard to breathe.

"I need time."

The words still echoed in the space between us, but time wasn't something either of them would give easily.

Aeryn was the storm—sharp, consuming, unwilling to let go.

Riven was the fire—steady, burning, refusing to be forgotten.

And I was the fool standing between them, caught in a war neither of them would ever surrender.

"You need time," Riven repeated, voice quiet. The wind tangled in his dark hair, and for a moment, he looked like something untouchable. A ghost of a promise I hadn't kept. "Time for what, Kael?"

I swallowed hard, staring down at my hands. The shadows flickered at my fingertips, restless, waiting.

"I don't know," I admitted.

It was the truth. And somehow, the truth felt worse than a lie.

Riven let out a soft, bitter laugh. "You don't know?" He shook his head. "Do you even realize what I went through to find you?" His voice wavered, something raw bleeding through his words. "Do you know how many nights I thought you were dead?"

I flinched.

"Riven—"

"Do you know how many times I woke up reaching for you?" His golden eyes burned into mine. "How many times I swore to the gods that I would bring you back, even if I had to tear the world apart to do it?" His voice cracked on the last word, and my chest ached.

I wanted to reach for him.

I wanted to say something, anything, to make it hurt less.

But Aeryn's voice cut through the air before I could.

"And yet, I was the one who pulled him out of the abyss."

Riven turned sharply, his jaw tight. "You think that gives you a claim on him?"

Aeryn stepped closer. The magic between them pulsed, thick and electric. "Yes," he said simply, no hesitation, no doubt. "Because I was there. Where were you, Riven?"

The question hung between them like a blade.

Riven's eyes flashed. "You think I didn't try?" His voice rose, low and furious. "I searched for him! I fought for him! But you—" His teeth clenched. "You always had an unfair advantage, didn't you? The moment you touched him, it was over, wasn't it?"

Aeryn's expression didn't change. "I didn't steal him from you," he said quietly. "I saved him."

Riven's fists curled at his sides, his breathing uneven. "And what if I had been the one to find him first?" His voice softened, but there was something dangerous beneath it. "Would you still be standing here, Aeryn? Or would you be the one left behind?"

Aeryn's jaw tensed, but he said nothing.

Because we all knew the answer.

If Riven had found me first, I would have gone with him.

The truth of it settled between us, heavy and painful.

Riven turned back to me. "Tell me the truth, Kael."

I met his gaze, my throat tight.

"If he hadn't reached you first—" Riven's voice was almost a whisper now. "Would you have waited for me?"

I sucked in a sharp breath. My pulse roared in my ears.

Aeryn's grip on my wrist tightened, a silent plea.

I felt the weight of both of them—Aeryn's unwavering presence, Riven's raw desperation.

I couldn't breathe.

I couldn't breathe.

"Kael," Aeryn murmured. His fingers curled against my skin, grounding me. "Don't let him do this to you."

"Don't let him make you forget what we have."

Riven took a slow step forward, his voice low, aching. "I don't want to fight, Kael." His eyes searched mine, pleading. "I just want to know if I still matter to you."

The wind howled between us, wrapping around my legs like unseen hands.

My vision blurred.

Because I didn't know how to answer.

Because they both mattered.

And no matter what I said next—

Someone's heart would break.

Kael

The air was too thick. My chest felt tight, like something unseen was pressing down on me, waiting for me to collapse beneath the weight of their love, their pain, their expectations.

Riven's voice echoed in my ears. "I just want to know if I still matter to you."

And Aeryn—his touch on my wrist, the unspoken plea in his grip—"Don't let him do this to you."

It was too much.

I exhaled shakily, trying to steady the tremor in my hands. But no matter how much I willed my body to stay still, my magic betrayed me—shadows curling at my feet, flickering like restless spirits, drawn to my emotions.

Aeryn noticed. His fingers slid from my wrist to my palm, tightening. Holding me together. "Kael," he said, soft but firm. "You don't have to answer him."

But Riven—Riven wasn't looking at my magic, wasn't looking at my trembling hands. He was looking at me, at the way my breath caught, the way my lips parted but no words came out.

He knew.

"You do still love me, don't you?"

I squeezed my eyes shut.

Why did he have to say it?

"Riven, please," I whispered, my voice barely audible.

"Please what?" His voice was hoarse, edged with something fragile. "Please stop asking? Please stop feeling? Or please stop hoping?" He let out a short, bitter laugh. "Because if it's the last one, Kael, I can't."

Aeryn's grip on my hand tensed. "Enough."

Riven's jaw clenched. "You don't get to decide when it's enough, Aeryn." His golden eyes flicked to where our hands were entwined. "He does."

But how could I?

How could I choose between them when every choice meant losing a part of myself?

I hated this.

Hated the way Aeryn was standing beside me like he was already mine, like I was already his, and there was no room left for doubt.

Hated the way Riven was looking at me like I was the air he needed to breathe, like I had been ripped from him and he was trying to put himself back together with pieces that no longer fit.

I hated that they both loved me so much it was breaking them.

But mostly, I hated that I was the reason they were hurting.

I pulled my hand free from Aeryn's grasp. His fingers curled, hesitating, but he let me go.

Then I turned to Riven.

His breath hitched slightly, like he had already braced himself for pain.

I reached out slowly, fingertips barely brushing his wrist. A silent question. A silent I don't know what to do.

Riven inhaled sharply but didn't pull away.

Aeryn stepped forward immediately. "Kael—"

I flinched. "Stop!"

The word ripped from me, raw and desperate. My magic surged, a violent gust of wind lashing through the ruins, scattering dust and debris into the night.

Both of them went still.

I pressed a hand to my chest, trying to contain the ache, the weight of everything inside me. "I can't do this." My voice cracked. "I can't—"

My breath stuttered. The shadows trembled around me, restless and waiting.

Aeryn's expression darkened, something possessive flashing in his eyes. "Kael, you don't have to break yourself apart for him."

And Riven—Riven looked like he was watching me slip away.

I already lost you once. His voice from before echoed in my mind.

A shudder ran through me.

"I—" My throat felt raw. "I need to think."

Aeryn's gaze hardened. "Think?" His voice was quiet but sharp. "Think about what, Kael? You know what we have."

Riven exhaled. "Do you?" His eyes flicked to Aeryn. "Or have you just been trying to make him forget?"

Aeryn's magic flared dangerously. "Don't start."

"Or what?" Riven took a step forward, his body tense. "You'll fight me for him?"

The wind howled between us.

Something inside me snapped.

My power surged again—violent, uncontrolled, demanding to be heard.

The ground beneath us shook.

Aeryn and Riven both went rigid, their magic instinctively flaring in response, but I didn't give them time to react.

"STOP!"

The ruins trembled. The air became thick with power.

I sucked in a ragged breath, my entire body trembling. My vision blurred, darkness creeping at the edges.

Too much.

It was all too much.

And then—

A soft voice.

"Kael."

It wasn't Aeryn. It wasn't Riven.

It was—

Something else.

A chill ran down my spine.

The shadows twisted around me, shifting, pulling.

The abyss stirred.

And I realized—

We weren't alone anymore.

Kael

The wind had stopped.

The ruins, once alive with echoes of our voices, had fallen into absolute silence. The kind of silence that pressed against my ears, that made my heartbeat sound too loud in my own chest.

But I wasn't sure if it was only silence.

Or if it was listening.

Aeryn was the first to react. His magic flared subtly, his hand shifting toward his sword. Always prepared. Always watching. His instincts sharper than steel.

Riven, however, was still looking at me. Only me.

I could feel the weight of his gaze. The unspoken words, the silent ache, the sharp edges of something breaking between us.

But there was something else, too.

A presence.

A slow, creeping sensation curling around my spine, crawling up my throat like unseen fingers brushing against my skin.

I inhaled sharply. "Do you feel that?"

Aeryn's eyes flickered toward me, then toward the darkness beyond the ruins. His expression shifted, tension settling into his shoulders. "Yes."

Riven took a step closer. "Kael, what did you do?" His voice was quiet, careful. Not accusing. Concerned.

I didn't know.

I hadn't meant to—hadn't tried to—

The abyss was always there, waiting. Watching. I had spent years holding it back, controlling it, keeping it from swallowing me whole.

But tonight… tonight, I had lost control.

I had let them in.

A slow whisper curled through the air. Not words. Not sound. Just a feeling.

Cold. Ancient. Hungry.

Aeryn's grip on his sword tightened. "We're not alone."

Riven cursed under his breath, his stance shifting slightly, his magic humming low beneath his skin. "Kael—" His voice was softer now. "Look at me."

I did.

I met his golden eyes, burning with something I couldn't name, and suddenly, the weight in my chest wasn't just fear.

It was him.

And Aeryn.

And everything pulling me apart.

But the abyss didn't care about that.

It only cared about me.

It wanted me.

And I had just called it to me without meaning to.

A shiver ran down my spine. "We need to leave."

Aeryn stepped closer. "Too late."

The ground beneath us trembled.

A breath of wind passed—cold, unnatural. The ruins groaned as if something unseen had pressed its weight against the stone, against the very bones of this place.

The abyss had come.

And it was looking at me.

"Kael."

I froze.

Because that wasn't Riven's voice. That wasn't Aeryn.

That was something else.

Something inside the abyss.

Something that had been waiting for me.

Riven's hand was suddenly on my arm, firm and steady. "We have to move."

But I couldn't.

I felt it now—something pulling at me, whispering to me, calling me back to something I wasn't sure I could escape from.

Something I wasn't sure I wanted to escape from.

Aeryn's voice was sharp, urgent. "Kael, don't listen to it."

But it wasn't just a voice.

It was familiar.

Like I had known it before. Like it had been with me all along, just waiting for the right moment.

And now, it had found me again.

"Kael," it whispered. "Come back to me."

The shadows at my feet twisted, reaching, pulling.

Riven's grip tightened.

Aeryn moved fast—too fast—his arms wrapping around me, pulling me back, his magic sparking against my skin. "You're not taking him!"

The abyss shuddered.

The wind howled.

And then—

Everything collapsed into darkness.

Kael

Darkness swallowed me whole.

The world I had known—Aeryn's unwavering grip, Riven's burning gaze, the ruins beneath my feet—had disappeared in an instant.

And now, I was falling.

No ground. No sky. No light. Just the abyss, wrapping around me like unseen hands, whispering, twisting, pulling me into something I couldn't fight.

And then—

"Kael."

A voice. Soft. Familiar. Painful.

My heart stuttered.

I knew that voice.

I had once loved that voice.

"Kael, why did you leave me?"

I gasped. My body jerked, my chest tightening as if invisible chains had just wrapped around my ribs. "No…"

"You forgot me."*

My breath shuddered. "No, I didn't."

The darkness around me moved. It breathed.

And then—

I saw him.

Standing there, just beyond the shadows.

The boy I had once sworn to protect. The boy I had once held in my arms while the world burned around us.

The boy who had died because of me.

"Elias."*

His silver eyes gleamed in the dark. "You remember now?" His voice was soft, almost kind. Almost. "Then tell me, Kael… why did you let me die?"

I choked on air. "I didn't—"

"Didn't what?" His voice turned sharp. "Didn't mean to? Didn't want to?" His expression twisted, something haunted flickering in his gaze. "You still let it happen."*

A sharp ache cut through my chest. I took a step forward, but the shadows tightened around me, keeping me still.

"Elias… please."

He tilted his head. "Please?" A bitter smile tugged at his lips. "Please what? Please understand? Please forgive?" His voice cracked. "Tell me, Kael, did you even mourn me? Or did you just replace me?"

My stomach twisted. "No, it wasn't like that—"

"Wasn't it?" Elias' eyes flickered. "Then tell me why you're standing between them now—Riven and Aeryn—like you're being torn apart by a love that never should have been yours to begin with."*

I flinched.

The abyss pulsed around me, whispering, pressing, waiting for me to break.

"You were mine first, Kael."* Elias' voice dropped to something raw. Something aching. "But you let me go."*

The darkness shuddered.

I squeezed my eyes shut. "I never stopped loving you."*

Silence.

And then—

A soft breath.

"Then why did you forget me?"

My chest collapsed. "Elias…"

But before I could say more, the shadows ripped me away.

And I was falling again.

---

Aeryn

Riven's scream still echoed in the air.

"Kael!"*

He had disappeared. Right before our eyes.

One moment, he was standing between us, his magic unraveling, his breath shaking, his body caught between everything we were—

And then the abyss had taken him.

Just like that.

Riven was still on his knees, fists clenched, his entire body trembling. His golden eyes were wide, wild, devastated. "He's gone."*

"Not for long."* I reached for my sword, my jaw tight. "I'll bring him back."*

Riven's head snapped up. "You think you can just—" He laughed, sharp and broken. "Aeryn, do you even know where he is?"

I gritted my teeth. "The abyss."*

"Exactly."* Riven's voice shook. "You can't just walk into the abyss and take him back. That thing—whatever it is—wanted him."*

I already knew that.

I had felt it.

The moment Kael's magic had surged—the moment he had lost control—I had known something was waiting for him. Something watching.

And when it finally called to him… he hadn't resisted.

That was what scared me the most.

"You think I'm going to sit here and do nothing?" My voice was low. Dangerous. "If you won't help me get him back, Riven, then get out of my way."*

But Riven didn't move.

Instead, his jaw clenched, and something dark flickered in his expression.

"Why?" His voice was barely above a whisper. "Why are you so desperate to bring him back, Aeryn?"

I narrowed my eyes. "You already know why."*

"Do I?" Riven's breath was uneven. "Because sometimes, I think you just want him so you don't have to lose to me."*

My blood boiled. "This isn't a game, Riven."*

"Then why does it feel like one?" His eyes burned. "Like we've both been fighting over him so hard that we never stopped to wonder if it was hurting him more than it was saving him?"

I froze.

For a second, just a second, I saw it.

Kael, caught between us. Torn. Breaking.

Had we done that to him?

Before I could say anything, Riven stepped closer. "Tell me the truth, Aeryn."* His voice dropped, raw and shattered. "If Kael loved me more than you, would you let him go?"

The question hit like a blade to the chest.

And the worst part was—

I didn't know the answer.

Kael

The abyss was endless.

But so was he.

Elias stood before me, his silver eyes gleaming in the shadows, his presence too real, too close, too painful. His voice curled through the darkness like silk and steel, wrapping around my ribs, tightening, refusing to let go.

"You never answered me, Kael."* His tone was quiet, but I could hear the raw edge beneath it. "Why did you forget me?"

I swallowed hard. "I never forgot you, Elias."*

His lips curved into something that wasn't quite a smile. "Then why do I feel like a ghost in your heart?"

I exhaled shakily. "Because I had to survive."*

His eyes darkened. "And was loving me something you had to erase to do that?"

"No."* My voice cracked. "Elias, I—"

I stopped.

Because what could I say? That I had carried him in every breath, in every moment of my life after he was gone? That every night I had closed my eyes, I had seen him—his blood on my hands, his voice in my dreams, his love in my bones, refusing to let me go?

That I had never stopped loving him, even as the world forced me to move forward?

Even as Aeryn and Riven had found places in my heart where only Elias used to exist?

I shook my head. "You don't understand."*

"Then make me."* Elias stepped closer, the shadows parting around him, his presence so painfully real that I could almost feel the warmth of his skin, almost hear his heartbeat. "Tell me, Kael. Tell me why you didn't come back for me."*

My breath hitched. "I—"

"Tell me why you let me die alone."*

That was the blade that cut the deepest.

I shuddered. My hands curled into fists, shaking. "I didn't let you die alone, Elias."* My voice was hoarse, raw. "I was there. I held you. I—"

"And then you left."*

I sucked in a sharp breath. "I had to."*

"Did you?" His voice was almost a whisper. "Or was it easier?"

I flinched.

"Did it hurt too much to stay?" Elias' eyes burned into me. "Was it too much to carry me with you, Kael? Or was it just easier to let someone else take my place?"

I felt something inside me break. "That's not fair."*

"Isn't it?" His voice was softer now, but it cut just as deep. "You and I, we swore to never leave each other. We swore to stay, to fight, to hold on. But when I reached for you that day, when I was bleeding out in your arms, you let go."*

I couldn't breathe. "Elias, please…"

"You let go."*

The abyss trembled. The shadows twisted.

And for the first time since falling into the darkness, I realized—

I wasn't sure if Elias was real.

Or if this was just my guilt made flesh.

---

Aeryn

"We're running out of time."*

Riven glared at me, but I could see the same fear in his eyes that was coiling like a vice around my own ribs.

Kael had been gone too long.

The abyss wasn't something you could just leave. If you stayed too long, it kept you.

And I wasn't about to let that happen.

"We need to go after him,"* I said.

Riven let out a sharp breath. "And do what? Walk straight into the abyss and hope we don't get swallowed, too?"

"If that's what it takes."*

Riven's eyes burned. "Of course, you'd say that."*

"And what would you rather do? Wait here and hope he climbs his way out on his own?"

Riven's jaw tightened. "You think I don't want to go after him? You think I don't want to tear that place apart to bring him back?"

"Then what's stopping you?"

"You."*

I froze. "What?"

Riven exhaled sharply, raking a hand through his hair, frustration and something raw flickering across his face. "You don't get it, do you?" His voice was rough. "Every time Kael is caught between something dangerous, between something bigger than him, you throw yourself in like you're the only one who can save him. But did you ever stop to think that maybe you're part of the reason he's drowning?"

The words hit like a blow to the chest.

"What are you saying?" My voice was low.

"I'm saying that maybe he wouldn't have fallen if he hadn't been torn between you and me in the first place."*

I stilled.

Because as much as I wanted to deny it, as much as I wanted to tell Riven he was wrong—

Somewhere, deep in my bones, I knew.

Kael hadn't chosen to fall.

We had pushed him.

"So what?" I gritted my teeth. "You want me to back off? Let you be the one to save him?"

Riven let out a bitter laugh. "You think this is about winning? Gods, Aeryn, when did we become this?" His voice shook slightly. "This isn't about us. This is about him."*

I swallowed hard. "I know that."*

"Do you?" Riven took a step closer. "Because if we go down there just to fight over who gets to bring him back, we'll lose him for real. Do you understand that?"

I did.

And it scared the hell out of me.

Riven's voice dropped. "So tell me the truth, Aeryn."*

I met his gaze, waiting.

"If Kael wakes up and chooses me instead of you, can you live with that?"

My breath stalled.

Because that wasn't a question I could answer.

Not yet.

Not when my heart had already chosen him.