Masks

FALL TERM - November 26th (Continued)

Noodle and I met with the mask maker just as the sun sank down below the horizon. We weren't late exactly, but it was hard to shake the feeling we should have come earlier. He was working out of a room above a little junk shop at the edge of town. The oil lamps that lit most of town didn't reach this far. 

We climbed up a rickety set of wooden stairs that wound along the side of the junk shop and had to use Aries's light spell to make out the sign hanging above the door - Vahln Kolgrimm, Disguise Artist. 

I went to try the door, when Noodle asked, "Do you think maybe we should knock?" 

I pulled it open anyway. Inside was poorly lit. Instead of lamps, there was one bright lantern somewhere between a few rows of shelves somewhere much deeper inside the space. 

"Hello?" I called out. "Mr. Kolgrimm?" 

"Ah… it's about time," a dry voice croaked out. The light of the lantern slowly drifted through the maze of shelves until a dwarven man rounded the last corner. He wore a pair of wire-frame glasses, unexpectedly delicate for the bold features of his face. I had a hard time guessing his age in the low light and know he could have either been incredibly old or fairly young. He wore his hair short and his beard even shorter, both bristled. "You do know that your little party is two days from now, don't you?" 

"Yes, sorry. I didn't think it would be difficult to purchase a mask last minute-"

"Purchase a mask? Boy, you don't just buy one off the shelf here! The masks here are always made-to-order. No exceptions." Vahln was already leading us further into his little shop. Cluttering the space between the shelves were boxes, stacks of books, and the odd glass bottle, and who knows what else in the dark room. Noodle and I stepped carefully behind him to avoid knocking anything over. "It's a good thing Elandria plans ahead for all of you. Better than old Thistle Fen I'll tell ya. They never get me their list of new mages to be expected. I just have to wait an' see who shows up!" 

Vahln set the lantern down at a desk and adjusted the flame so that the space brightened up a little around us. Two masks hung on pedestals where it seemed he'd already been at work on them. The first was bone-white, silk that gleamed in the low light. It was a relatively simple mask compared to the ones I'd seen from the rest of my coven in the Sanctum, but perhaps it wasn't finished. The one most striking feature of it was a set of antlers arcing up from the top of it. A cold stone rolled over in my chest. 

The other mask beside it was soft leather and shaped like a leaf. 

"Those are ours, aren't they?" I asked. There was no reason for me to know that. He made masks. He had other clients, but there were only two. It could have been in my head, for all I knew, antlers could have been a common motif, but when I saw that mask, it felt like seeing the face of the dead stag in my flat all those months ago. 

"Call it a kind of creative divination if you will. Elandria said there'd be three, and inspiration struck. I've had the basic form of these done for months now, just couldn't quite tell you who they were for. So, are you Noodle?" Vahln eyed me suspiciously. 

"Zephyr," I said. 

Vahln nodded his head, mumbled, "Antlers to hide the horns, now that makes sense." He passed me the white mask. Before turning to Noodle. "Now, you must be Noodle." 

Noodle nodded quickly and took the other mask from him. 

"Go ahead, now try them on. There's a mirror back this way." Vahln pointed us to a glass a little past his desk. 

I rolled the mask over in my hands. It was finely made, and while initially I'd assumed it was unfinished, on closer look, I now think that isn't the case. Many of the masks I'd seen were sequined or jeweled or painted, but if it was in fact tailored to me, I couldn't imagine myself wearing anything like those. This probably suited me better, or it would have if not for the damned antlers. 

I briefly imagined tearing them off right then, but that would have been rude. Vahln already had reason enough not to like us given the hour and the rush job. I didn't want to give him any further cause. Instead, I shoved the feeling down and raised the mask to my eyes. 

"There isn't a strap or anything," Vahln said. "Just hold it there a moment." 

I held the mask to my face and watched, expecting Vahln to do something. He'd narrowed his eyes and held up his hands in front of me, but didn't move to touch me or the mask. I thought maybe he'd cast something, but then, he dropped his hands away. 

"Looks good. It's holding well even with those horns in the way," Vahln said. 

I hadn't felt it exactly on my face, but I realized I no longer needed to hold the mask, it was just there. It wasn't going to fall off just by accident. It clung securely over the bridge of my nose and up into my hairline. 

Vahln nudged me over to the mirror and I went. Had I not recognized the mask, I wouldn't have recognized myself. I didn't look different upon closer inspection, but every aspect of my appearance had changed just a little. It was uncanny. My hair suddenly looked a little longer, cut a little differently. The color too was wrong, maybe now a true black where it had always been dark brown. My eyes were different too, the red I'd seen my whole life was now brown and ordinary. And my horns were completely gone. I knew they had to be there. I raised my hand to touch them, but Vahln hopped to grab my arm before I could. 

"You still have horns but don't mess with them. It'll wear on the disguise. Those antlers are at least a few inches taller, so nothing should get caught on them. It's always so hard to hide a person's more distinctive features." 

He means my Drakari features. I knew he hadn't meant it as a slight, but I didn't know how to bring it up without making it awkward. I was Drakari because my mother was Drakari, and the person in the mirror staring back at me was distinctly not. I knew already it probably wasn't intentional. Had I looked more Drakari, with the wings, tail, and scales, he'd have taken a different route, but that was just it. I didn't look all that Drakari to begin with. 

"You hate it, don't you?" he asked. "A lot of people do. That's not uncommon." 

I shook my head. "It's hard to say I hate it, only that it's not me." 

"And that's why you're here, isn't it? A disguise." Vahln chuckled at his own joke and climbed up onto his desk chair to stand closer to my eye-level. "Now, I don't let anyone have their original features. It would kind of defeat the purpose, but say there is something you particularly hate. It's not too late for me to make a small adjustment or two. Some people just have a thing they can't stand and in those instances, I'm not changing it to what they want, but I'll humor them and keep it from being the thing they really don't want." 

Awfully generous… "No," I said. "Really." 

"You don't like the buck then?" 

"You could say it's umm… a little on the nose for me." Even if I wasn't thinking of Orendell dressed as the dead stag - something I was trying my best to push from my mind - it was still a stag. Lord Hart's chosen beast. It was the kind of thing I could have imagined Ianthe asking me to wear. 

"Now that is one of those things that's a little harder to change," Vahln said. 

We were suddenly interrupted by Noodle, who too was trying on his mask. "Why do I…? Do I smell weird? I smell weird. Is that…?" 

I'd been so in my head over all this I hardly noticed his fur had changed from gold waves to black and white fluff. His ears rose up a little straighter on his head and stood tall. He was still dogfolk. That hadn't changed, but now he was looking less retriever and more shepherd. 

"The enchantment is going to change the way you smell. Wouldn't be much good as a disguise if the guests with a strong enough sense of smell could just sniff out their friends now would it?" Vahln said. 

Noodle cocked his head at me. It was a gesture so completely Noodle that for a second, I wondered if the disguise had slipped. 

"Am I still cute?" Noodle mumbled, a hint of worry in his voice. 

"Still cute," I said. 

"Some might even argue the glamors I make are more attractive," Vahln joined in a whisper.

I wouldn't go that far. But I didn't need to say that and managed to hold my tongue. 

"Generally this is why my clients come early in the term, before I start working on their masks," Vahln said. "Sometimes it takes some time for people to grow into their mask. Even if you hate it now, there's no denying that when you looked at it the first time, you knew it was yours. You saw yourself in it and those who know you best will be able to do the same. Wear it this year. If by next autumn you still hate it, I'll make another free of charge." 

 I considered the offer. Even if I did take him up on it, I'd still be stuck with this mask for better or for worse. Noodle and I paid for our masks and left. It's just a mask. A ridiculous thing to get angry about so I tried to do the mature thing and let it go. 

Noodle and I shadow stepped back to the Vodalysa dormitories to put our things away. I was just hanging up my suit for the ball when I heard a knock at my door. Aries was pacing in the hallway when I opened it. 

"You missed dinner, dude. What happened?" There was a slight hint of worry in his voice I didn't know what to make of. He was doing his best to bury it under anger, as though Noodle and I had the gall to intentionally leave him to dine alone with Aisling. He hadn't mentioned Noodle though, and down the hall, Noodle's door was shut. 

"Some last minute errands for the Masquerade. Marblebrook's orders," I said. I was tired from the day, and I didn't have any patience for his bullshit tonight. If he was going to be mad about it, there was nothing I could do. "Marblebrook had me take Noodle shopping… and she also said I had to teach you to dance. You and Noodle, actually," I added. 

Aries scoffed. "We're not dancing." 

"Is that so?" Of course, this was the luck I had. Marblebrook wanted me to teach Noodle who had two left feet, and Aries who had, against all logic, chosen this hill to die on. 

"Why's she having you teach us anyway?" Aries asked. 

"You saying you know how to dance?"

"No." 

I laughed. Marblebrook assumed correctly. "That would be why." I leaned into my door frame. One of my horns bumped against the door. I was tired as it was but I still figured better to get this over with now than tomorrow. "Just come on," I held the door open for him. One quick lesson and I could tell Marblebrook I'd done my best. 

Aries lingered for a moment in the doorway and peered in. My room was one of the suites - like his, I suspect. There was a little sitting area. I pushed the coffee table aside to make space. It was still just the one room though. My bed, my desk, my wardrobe, were all still there in plain view. The room was neat. I hadn't decorated, so a few books stacked on the desk and a few little sketches from Aisling tacked to the wall, so there was little to look at. 

Well, except maybe that one werewolf book from the library still sitting on my bed… I tried not to draw attention to it. 

I didn't have a gramophone like Marblebrook, so our lesson would have to be in silence, but I didn't mind. My mother had taught me how to dance, and not all our lessons had musical accompaniment. Sometimes, it made it easier. I could just focus on the footwork and let my mother count out the measure to keep time. And this would be far more basic. I'd already decided as much. 

Aries slowly stepped inside. It hadn't occurred to me until then that he'd never been in my room until now. He lived right down the hall. We saw each other every day. There hadn't been a need. 

"Do you have music?" he asked. 

"We don't need it," I said. I put out my arms to him, beckoning him closer. "We're just going over a waltz. The basic step. If you never learn more than this, it'll be fine. Passable at least." It wouldn't have been passable at the Stag's Court, but we weren't surrounded by vampires with centuries of nothing better to do than learn the intricacies of every ballroom dance. 

Aries put his hands in mine, bit his lip. I quickly repositioned his hands to where I wanted them. One held in my hand, the other at my back. I set my free hand on his bicep. I'd initially made Noodle follow and decided that had been a mistake. Better to have Aries lead and maybe spare my feet. 

I felt him jitter a little. His chest brushed against mine. He was standing closer than he needed to be. I almost thought to readjust him again, but just moving my hand in his, I felt him tense and pull me closer. 

There was something about it that reminded me of watching his casting at the last new moon in the Sanctum. His rigid motion, correct, but stiff. 

"Now what do I do?" he asked. I already knew he hated this. 

"Try not to look at your feet. Just look at me," I said. Aries stood at his full height. His eyes were level with my lips. Whenever I glanced away for a second, that was where his eyes drifted back to. He licked his own thoughtlessly. 

"Are you sure we don't need music?" he asked. 

"I'm just teaching you the basic step." 

"I don't even know when to move."

"That's why I'm guiding you," I groaned. 

"Are you going to guide me at the Masquerade too?" 

It was the wrong time to bring up that I was only trying to teach him any of this at Marblebrook's request. It would have been petty but I wanted to say it anyway. Why should it matter to me if he was going to flounder the first minute anyone invited him out to dance? So I said nothing, but held my stance firmly and dragged him through the first movement. 

His feet stuttered, unsure of where I was pulling him, even the second and third time through the steps. His palm slipped against mine, sweaty again. And when I tried to readjust my hold on him, he pulled his hand back and came to a halt. 

I knocked into him by accident and felt his hand slide up the front of my chest. "Zeph, stop." 

I did stop. His hand stayed put over my sternum. 

"I don't dance." 

I probably could have argued back, but I was tired. It had been a long day and I was only here doing this now because Marblebrook had asked me to. I hadn't minded teaching Noodle a thing or two earlier, because at least he seemed to be having a good time, but this, with Aries? No. 

He was done and so was I. 

"Then, fuck it. Don't dance." 

Aries winced. 

I know I'd said the wrong thing. I rubbed at my temple with the side of my hand, bracing for something. I almost wish he'd just tried to hit me instead. That at least felt simpler than whatever this was.

His hand fell away. I heard him take a long breath. I was waiting for him to say something. Tear into me. Hit me. Something. 

Instead his voice was just above a whisper, thin and strained. "If Marblebrook asks, I'll tell her you tried." 

Then my door clicked shut. 

Aries was gone. And I was alone.