Competent

I hate to admit this, but I was wide awake the next day at five in the morning.

And I also hate to admit this, but it's because I think a part of my brain was waiting—for a call from Jasper, or Cesar, or anyone from Blackwell—to tell me I needed to be at the company.

But the call never came.

Not the next day.

Not even the third day.

I started to defrost a little, just enough to participate in dinner, but the moment my mom asked me if there was any news, I couldn't help it—I snapped.

I forgot we were having a family dinner. I forgot that everyone was around the table. I was once again all in my head.

"No, he didn't call back," I said sharply. "Isn't Cesar like your stepson? Can't you just ask him? Do I have to call his secretary and find out if I actually got that job?"

My mom blinked at me, surprised. But her voice remained calm when she said, 

"Calm down, young lady. I was just asking. I'm sure Cesar just wants to go through the official channels, get you hired the right way… though he shouldn't be—"

Before she could finish her sentence, Leonard spoke up.

"I already talked to Cesar," he said simply, his voice cutting through the tension. "He knows he has to hire you. I don't know why he's doing this whole circus move if I have to tell the truth. Maybe he just wants to see if you can handle stress."

Then he looked straight at me.

"To be honest, sweetie…"

I don't know why he called me that. Not like we had a bond. But he was a nice guy, I guess. I just didn't know what to feel anymore. My feelings were all over the place. My head was just… noise.

He continued, "If you're going to be Cesar's PA, you have to be punctual. Pay attention to detail. Be smart. Be the kind of person who can be called at any time of day and be ready. You're going to be working more than 24 hours a day. And if you're not ready for that… I think we'll need to find you another position."

Then, he added with a little shrug, "I want you to be his PA because it would give you great credit and experience. And maybe… you could also form some kind of relationship with your stepbrother."

"I know, and I'm not blaming any of you... I'm sorry for snapping. It's just that he's been calling every hour of the day without any preamble or something...., but if Caesar decides that I can have the position, I will be prompt and learn all he has to offer. I know you're doing this for my own good, and I don't want to seem ungrateful. I am very grateful."

"No, see, that's not what I meant when I said that if you think it's too demanding, in that case, you should get another position. All I meant is you have just fresh out of the university, and you need to ease into it. You don't have to be his PA now..."

"Yes, I know," I answered, "but there are a lot of people, I'm sure, who want the position. He can't hire someone else, and then later when I change my mind, he suddenly decides to give it to me. It wouldn't be fair, so if he decides to give it to me, I'll work harder and better."

"Of course, and that being said. Caesar is coming to dinner on Sunday, so I'm sure when he gets here, he can tell us what he has decided."

I know that my eyes were as wide as saucers.

Cesar is coming here?

I don't know what that meant. Would he be the prick he was when we first met? Will he come like the boss he was when I went to the company?

I didn't know which side he was coming with, and why the hell was I nervous anyway?

~~~~

Sunday didn't roll in quickly enough because suddenly it was here, and my mother was calling me downstairs to go for dinner. Also adding that my stepbrother was here, which was great—if only she knew.

I had been sitting on it from the moment I realized that Cesar was my half-brother, asking myself if I should tell my mom. Should I? It seemed to be a vital piece, vital information. But I also knew that if I told her, all hell would let loose. There was a lot of hurt, there was a lot of pain, and it would probably break my mother's marriage apart. So I chose the other side.

Why shake the glass egg if everything was just perfect? Why not just leave everything as it is? It seemed way better, way easier, and nobody had to actually get hurt.

So every time I thought about telling her, I reminded myself of that—and I didn't say anything. It's not like it would change anything.

I lied to myself.

For reasons I did not understand myself, I got super dressed up today. I even put on quite a touch of makeup—nothing to be over the top. Just a little lip gloss, a little mascara, maybe an eyeliner, a little powder. Just nothing that was like, hey, I'm wearing makeup, but enough to be classy and not over the top.

I took a breath before I left my room and started heading downstairs to the dining room to face him again.

If him just being here was this hard, I wondered what it would feel like if I were to work with him and had to see him every day.

I needed to get my shit together.

Everybody was already at the table. Leonard was sitting at one end of the table and, to my surprise, Cesar was sitting at the other end of the table. It's not like my mom liked staying far from Leonard. She always stayed on his right side, so she was there, like, next to him, and Victor was on his other side.

There were a few chairs in the middle, while Cesar was at the last end. For a moment, when I got into the dining, I was kind of lost as to where to sit. Should I get closer to Cesar? Because he looked like he was there, by himself, almost away from the whole family, and I got myself second-guessing myself for a few minutes until my mom said,

" Casey, what are you doing? Come on, come sit," patting the seats next to her.

I smiled at this moment to no one in particular, as I walked next to my mother and took the seat next to her.

The food then was served, and everybody started eating. It was a normal Sunday dinner, families if you will call it that, except for the person who was not sitting next to the family. But on the other side of it...

We ate in silence and it was time for dessert—when Leonard approached the subject, and he asked Cesar,

"So Cesar, Casey told us she hasn't gotten the call, and she just wanted to know if she got the position or not. It's been killing her to just stay around all these days, not knowing what was next."

Cesar then pushed the dessert he was eating farther away from him, as he put both his elbows on the table, and there's this way he collected himself and straightened to answer his father that made me think that this was a bad idea and that he was going to say something that someone inside this room would not like—most probably me.

Caesar said, 

"Casey wanted a job at the Blackwell Company. I gave her a chance to get the job. I didn't promise to give her the job straight away just because her mother was sleeping with my father."

My mother gasped as her eyes went towards Victor as she turned to him.

"We have a little boy here, a child. Please be cautious with your words."

Caesar looked at Victor and sighed.

"Sorry about telling you the truth, little buddy."

And then continued as if his little apology to Victor made it up and said,

"Your stepdaughter came for an interview. She was interviewed once. She was called in twice. And the company hasn't made a decision yet. If she has something better to do, I would suggest she just continues on with it."

He answered, putting a big full stop at the end of his sentence, not once looking at me, looking straight at his father as if it was a challenge, as if he was waiting for his father to disagree with him, argue. It seemed like Caesar was just vying for a fight.

Leonard must have sensed it because he took a deep breath before he said,

"I know you are the one in control of the company now, but I asked you for a favour—"

"I know," Caesar said before his father was finished. "But this is not a position to take lightly. This is a position that affects the CEO—me. I can't just take her because…"

He looked at Victor and said, "What I said earlier... I actually have to see if she's competent enough to work at the company and by my side. Would you feel better if I ran the company to the ground with her incompetence? Why, so you can prove that you're better than me? So that I can come to you for help....?"