VENICE: PART THIRTEEN

I couldn't concentrate. Not when everyone had their eyes on me like this, not when I had people looking at me with pity and sympathy in their eyes. I hold on to the strap of my bag as I walk to Felicity's car and I felt completely numb. I hadn't loved Jace, no, but we had our own special connection besides sex. According to a lot of folks at school I was his favourite bitch, his go-to fuck toy. I could take the comments the name calling but what I couldn't take was having to deal with people's sympathy. I reach the car and Felicity gives me a small smile before I hug her and that's when I cry.

I never cried not for anyone, but this felt more than just jace being murdered. It was the pressure of everything. Jace, this fucking stalker, school, my parents, I wanted to hide. I just wanted a moment of peace without someone knowing what I was doing every moment of the day. It would be nice, to just be me again. 

Fel took me to her brother's studio instead of home, and she let me have my peace in the car. I watched the buildings passing and it reminded me of Jace all over again. He had stupid ideas of riding out in the city when it had rained or just long drives to nothing. When we got there Kalique took one look at me and gave Fel the keys to the studio.

"I need to rush to the bank but Quincy is around if you need anything." We nodded and went inside to the lounge and found Quincy cleaning up the pain equipment. We weren't even that close to share what happened with him in detail but he didn't seem all that bad from the experience we had at my house the other day. He smiled at Fel and his face changed to a worried expression at me.

"What happened V? Are you okay?" I shook my head and I felt my hands tremble. I hadn't said a word since the time I had heard the news from Jace's brother. Fel said she had to rush back to tutoring and I hugged her and watch her leave as I sat at the couch Q was sitting in. He sighed lightly and went back to cleaning his equipment and my mouth seemed to open on its own. 

"Jace...was killed last night. And his brother said it was wasn't an accident because of the way he was shot. But that's just his theory." Was my voice shaking? I suppose because I felt like my tears weren't dried out just yet.

"I'm so sorry to hear that, that sounds so brutal. My sincerest apologies." I turn my head to Q and I had never seen that expression on his face before. He looked pained. He didn't know Jace but this was new. I thought he only had one expression to show on his face so this was new. He leaned back against the couch for us to meet on eye level. 

"It was a bit sudden so I think I'm still shaken a bit. I had just talked to him that evening and we were supposed to meet up today morning...we had a complicated relationship and it's just a bit upsetting." He folds his arms and I can see the confusion in his eyes, whether to comfort me or let me rant until I break. 

"Were you two dating?" He asked and I shake my head. I had wanted it so many times, but I knew it wouldn't be because he loved but because he gave me comfort and that was screwing each other and listening to me yap. He was a good listener and I would appreciate that about him. I look at Q and I couldn't tell what he was thinking with me ranting on like this.

"But I wished we could once but that was just me hoping."

"You were in love with him." It was more of a fact than a question, and I wasn't going to deny it, I did. There was nothing extra ordinarily good about him, but I fell for him anyway. Stupid me. I felt like my chest was closing up on me and I needed to breathe. I wasn't ready for another confrontation with my parents about needing a shrink. 

"I was in love with him but-" Q stood up and I raised my eyes to him. Why he had to be particularly tall had me confused and I struggled looking up at him.

"Listen V, I have an issue with people getting touchy with me, but I'll allow it this once. You look like you could use a hug." I froze for a second, I also didn't like physical touch with anyone and I hesitated I was used to Jenn and Fel in the long run because they were family to me. But this man didn't give me a choice. 

He bent and took my hand pulling up facing him directly to him and his arms came around me, holding me against him firmly. For a guy who claimed not to like physical touch he gave the most comfortable hugs. I slowly raised my hands to him and the landed on his middle back and I could breathe again, I could hear my thoughts and the first one was...

He smells nice...

Wait what the actual hell? I mean anyone had the right to smell nice and have both a musky and woody scent and it would be proper human hygiene. Honestly I was freaked out by that one thought and I didn't want it to be something that happens gain, so I stepped out of his embrace and smiled up to him politely. This was awkward.

"You'll get back on track with your life. You can miss him but that doesn't mean the process of becoming this amazing person suddenly stops. People there for a reason and for a season, you'll get through it." 

For the first time I genuinely liked hearing Q talk and I wasn't feeling the urge to punch him. I smiled and he gave me a little smile before it vanished replaced with his regular stoic expression.