Chapter 7 - Cheap Haunted house

Isabella Carter had seen some weird things in her life. And by some, she meant enough to not give a damn anymore.

A man walking into the office without pants, claiming it was a new fashion trend? She didn't blink. Just complimented his "bold choice" and asked if he wanted HR to draft a dress code update.

A monkey being hired as an official employee, complete with an ID and performance reviews? She shook its hand every morning and occasionally complained to it about deadlines.

Her boss/friend demanding a rare herb that only appeared in an unverified source, located in an unverified place, described by a very questionable individual? She not only accepted the mission but voluntarily walked into these cursed woods, dropping a very cool one-liner before she left.

And now, as she followed a police unit deep into the forest, she watched a man—one of the officers—twitching, looking around like a paranoid owl, muttering to himself, stopping every few minutes to examine nothing.

After reading enough novels, Isabella knew exactly what was happening.

Protagonist Syndrome.

Or crippling paranoia with a side of delusions. She hoped it was the former because paranoia was at least fun to watch.

Somewhere ahead, Captain Brooks was barking orders, checking formations, marking trees. Professional. Normal. Expected.

Then, her coworker, Akshay Reddy—the only other functional reader of their group—whispered beside her.

"Bella, don't you think this place is the perfect horror movie setting? Look at these trees. These leaves. This unnatural fog. No CGI required. No eerie background music needed. We're practically gift-wrapped for a director."

Isabella nodded sagely. "We're just missing a creepy-ass crow glaring at us or a Victorian mansion in the middle of nowhere."

Akshay clicked his tongue. "Classic rookie mistake. We've been walking for over an hour. We started at 8:30 AM, so it should be, what? 9:30? Maybe 10?" He pointed at her wrist.

Her watch blinked 1:00 PM.

She wasn't hungry. She wasn't tired. But the trees? They looked like it was late evening, shadowy and suffocating.

"See?" Akshay smirked. "This is the part where Captain Brooks suddenly stops and says—"

"Wait a minute," Captain Brooks suddenly said.

Akshay clapped. "Called it."

"And boom," he continued, "we'll find a blood trail. One of the police officers will get agitated. He'll run. Someone will chase him. And then? We start dying one by one until we solve the mystery. I'm betting three survivors, tops."

Isabella personally believed Akshay had a bright future in bluffing and storytelling. He must have cultivated this talent over years of coming up with excuses for being late.

Before she could respond, their teammate Jared butted in

"You're both wrong. This is an alien horror romance setting."

Silence.

Jared's eyes gleamed. "A mysterious alien woman. Inhumanly beautiful. Deadly. Seductive but dangerous. She'll fall in love with me, but her instincts will force her to kill."

He raised a dramatic hand.

"No counterarguments. This is my dream. Let me have this."

Isabella stared. How many women rejected this guy before he downgraded to an alien?

And then, as if the universe lived for drama, a voice echoed through the woods.

A creepier and more neutral voice said, 

"Welcome to the woods. Let the game begin."

The temperature dropped. The shadows stretched. The trees tightened around them.

Isabella immediately cursed Jared.

May your alien girlfriend eat you alive, you bastard.

A slow whistle came from the back.

Sun Woojin or commonly called Joe—their lead researcher, known for finding humor in everything—grinned.

"Well, well. Jared, it's happening just like you wanted. Now's your chance."

He clapped Jared on the shoulder.

"Go for it. Ask her—it—them—out. Confess your undying love."

He raised both fists in the air.

"We'll be cheering for you... from very, very far away."

Isabella sighed. Men. Even in the middle of an existential crisis, they still crave entertainment.

And yet—she turned toward Jared anyway, her expression cold, but her eyes eager.

She wasn't the only one.

Everyone—the police, the reporters, the researchers, even Captain Brooks himself—slowly, inevitably, turned to stare at Jared.

Even Protagonist Syndrome Guy, who had been on the verge of a nervous breakdown, now just looked completely baffled.

Wow. Turns out, no matter the circumstances, humans always stop to watch a good trainwreck.

Isabella spotted the reporters. Their eyes sparkled. Cameras zoomed in on Jared's face, capturing every twitch of his expression in high definition.

Meanwhile, the creature—who had probably been expecting screaming, panicking, or heroic declarations of defiance—sounded frustrated.

"Why are you all silent?! Why?! I said we're playing a game! Where's the shouting? The 'Who are you?' and 'What do you want?!'"

A researcher named Jennie casually replied, "Because you're cliché as hell."

She crossed her arms. "We've seen this a hundred times in movies. You're going to force us to play some game, and losing means death, right? So why bother?"

Brianna, another researcher, perked up.

"Ooooh, is it like those old shows I watched last night? Where people get kidnapped and have to play children's games, but if you lose, you die horribly? Oh! Are we allowed quizzes? I'm really good at quizzes."

Some of the researchers—and Akshay's entire team—immediately started listing their best games.

Isabella could physically feel the combined judgment of every police officer, reporter, and doctor and even the creature present.

She clenched her jaw.

No one could ever find out that the only reason their research and security team was so chill was because she and Akshay had forced them to binge-read horror stories and movies before the mission.

Meanwhile, the delulu officer suddenly screamed into the trees.

"WHERE ARE THEY?! WHERE HAVE YOU TAKEN THEM?!"

His colleague backed him up.

"STOP! WE'RE WITH THE POLICE! SHOW YOURSELF IMMEDIATELY!"

Isabella sighed.

The creature was grinning.

She turned to Akshay. They exchanged a look.

They both knew exactly who was going to die first.