Episode 24: The Bard and the Unstoppable Sing-Along Lute

The shop was finally quiet again. Felix was halfway through tweaking an enchanted teapot (it whistled insults instead of steam) when the door swung open — dramatically, of course.

In strutted a man with feathered sleeves, a puffy hat with an oversized plume, and a lute slung across his back. He looked like someone who got dressed in the dark after falling into a wardrobe full of parrot costumes.

"Greetings, common folk!" he declared, voice dripping with confidence. "I am Alaric the Golden Voice — Bard of the Seven Realms, Lover of Legends, and Muse of Maidens!"

Zira looked him up and down. "You look like a tragic accident at a feather factory."

Alaric gave a smug grin. "Fashion is temporary. Glory is eternal."

Felix pinched the bridge of his nose. "What do you want?"

Alaric dramatically unslung his lute and placed it on the counter. "My music moves hearts, but it should conquer them. I want a lute that ensures my songs are so irresistible, all who hear them are enchanted."

Felix smirked. "Enchanted, huh? You sure about that?"

Alaric grinned. "Positive. I want everyone to love my music."

Zira leaned in, eyes glinting with mischief. "Everyone?"

Alaric puffed his chest. "Everyone."

Felix and Zira exchanged a look that screamed, Oh, this is gonna be fun.

---

One Hour Later…

Felix placed the lute back on the counter. It gleamed, the strings humming faintly with magic.

"Here you go — the Lute of Irresistible Harmony. One strum, and everyone within earshot will be compelled to join in."

Alaric blinked. "Join in? Like, sing along?"

Felix nodded. "Yup. Your audience won't just love the song — they'll become part of it."

Alaric laughed confidently. "Perfect. They'll become my choir!"

Zira grinned. "Oh, you have no idea."

---

Ten Minutes Later — Town Square

Alaric climbed atop a fountain, lute in hand. A small crowd gathered, intrigued. He took a deep breath and struck the first chord.

The music rang out, rich and beautiful. The crowd gasped — then, one by one, they started singing.

Badly.

A blacksmith with a voice like a dying walrus belted out the chorus. A baker joined in, four octaves too high. A guard tried to harmonize, but ended up yodeling.

Alaric blinked. "What the —"

Before he could react, the magic caught him too. His own voice belted out against his will, louder than anyone else. His intended smooth ballad came out as an off-key sea shanty.

"I'M A BARDDDD AND I'M REALLLLY COOOLL,

I'M HANDSOME AND SMART AND NOBODY'S FOOLLLL—"

He clapped his hand over his mouth. The singing didn't stop. His voice just kept going, muffled under his palm.

The crowd kept singing. A dog joined in, howling melodically.

Zira leaned over to Felix, watching from a safe distance. "You think we overdid it?"

Felix grinned. "Nah. This is exactly the right amount of did-it."

Alaric, still singing involuntarily, spotted them and stumbled over.

"MAKE IT STOOOP, I CAN'T FEEEL MY JAAAW!"

Felix chuckled. "Oh, now you want me to fix it?"

Alaric glared, voice still belting an off-key ballad.

"YEEESSSSSS!"

Felix sighed playfully. "Alright, fine. Come back to the shop. But I'm charging extra for this one."

Alaric groaned, still singing.

"WORTH IIIIIITTT!"