Episode 63: The Time-Traveling Picnic Basket—Because Freshness is Overrated

The shop bell jingled as a scholar in an old, tattered cloak shuffled in, adjusting his spectacles. He had the look of a man who had spent way too much time reading ancient scrolls and not enough time eating actual food.

Felix sighed. "Let me guess. You need a magical item for 'historical research'?"

The scholar nodded eagerly. "Yes! I require a time-traveling picnic basket!"

Zira leaned on the counter. "You mean… a basket that lets you eat food from any time period?"

"Precisely!" The scholar beamed. "I wish to taste the flavors of the past! Imagine sampling the legendary feasts of kings, the forbidden delicacies of lost civilizations!"

Felix grinned. "Alright, sounds fun. Any special requests?"

The scholar adjusted his glasses. "Yes. The food must be authentic to its era."

Zira scribbled it down. "Got it. Anything else?"

"…Oh, and I don't mind if it's a little stale."

Felix blinked. "A little what now?"

The scholar nodded. "Just slightly. Nothing dangerous, of course. Just… historically accurate staleness."

Zira put down her quill. "I have so many questions."

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The Crafting: A Basket Full of Bad Decisions

Felix set to work:

✔ A time-warp enchantment for food retrieval

✔ A freshness-preservation rune (which he deliberately weakened)

✔ A 'historical accuracy' spell

Zira watched with pure skepticism. "So, you're making a basket that summons food from any point in time… but it's always a bit stale?"

Felix smirked. "Yes."

"…Why are we like this?"

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The Test Run: A Taste of the Past (and Slight Regret)

The scholar clapped excitedly as Felix handed over the finished basket. "Let's try it!"

He reached inside and pulled out…

A medieval meat pie.

It looked impressive—until he took a bite. His eyes widened.

"…This is… delicious!"

Felix grinned. "See? Magic works."

The scholar chewed thoughtfully. "But also… the crust is exactly as hard as a 14th-century bread brick."

Zira stifled a laugh. "So… historically accurate?"

The scholar rubbed his sore jaw. "Painfully so."

He reached into the basket again. This time, he pulled out…

A Roman-era honey cake.

It smelled amazing. He took a bite—then immediately started choking on dry crumbs.

Felix patted his back. "Okay, maybe 'slightly stale' was an understatement."

The scholar coughed. "No, no, this is perfect." He wiped his eyes. "This is exactly what I wanted."

Zira squinted. "You're telling me you're enjoying eating ancient disappointment?"

The scholar grinned. "Absolutely. This is the most authentic meal I've ever had."

Felix shrugged. "Well, I guess it's a success."

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The Aftermath: A Culinary Time Capsule

The scholar left, happily munching on historically disappointing snacks. Felix shook his head. "That man is going to break his teeth on history."

Zira sighed. "At least he didn't ask for prehistoric food."

Felix paused. "Wait. What would a basket from dinosaur times even give you?"

Zira smirked. "Probably a slightly stale fern."

Felix grinned. "We should definitely sell that as a 'paleo diet' option."

They both laughed—right as the shop bell jingled again.

A new customer walked in, holding a teapot that was leaking tea… and whispering.