chapter 11

Ryujin and I have been talking for a few months. I still don't know what he looks like and he seems to avoid the topic of sharing pictures with each other. My birthday is coming up soon so I want to ask that for my birthday. I want to see a picture of him.

We talk on the phone more often now too. He calls me whenever he has the chance. During his lunch at work or when he's driving home from work. We will talk until Dana gets home.

We did start playing league together too. I say things are going well between us. I've gotten attached to him more than I should probably have. He always listens to me and he would even say hi to Eva over the phone.

Eva knows how to say Dada now but I'm not going to tell Dana that the first person she called Dada was Ryujin.

Today I'm planning to send Ryujin a picture of myself so hopefully he will be more comfortable when I ask for it for my birthday.

I'm kind of nervous because what if he thinks I'm ugly and stops talking to me. I find the perfect spot to take my picture and took the perfect selfie. I quickly hit send with my heart starts beating fast, anticipating for his reply.

hard_carryy0: Wow. I had a feeling you were gonna be beautiful but I didn't expect you to be this beautiful.

I feel my face get hot at what he said. I touch my cheeks to try to stop them from feeling hot.

kitty_purrfect: thank you. Can I see you?

hard_carryy0: Uhh maybe later. I can't really take a picture right now.

kitty_purrfect: you can send an old picture instead. I don't mind.

hard_carryy0: I don't really take selfies so I don't have pictures in my phone.

Why is he so against sending me a picture? I start to feel frustrated.

kitty_purrfect: my birthday is coming up and I want your picture as a gift. Please. He doesn't respond right away which makes me upset. I'm starting to feel like he's hiding something.

hard_carryy0: Fine. How about instead of a picture, we can do video call?

kitty_purrfect: okay! You can't take it back.

hard_carryy0: I won't.

Ahhh I'm so excited. I will finally see what Ryujin looks like. I wonder if he's a burly man but his voice is not deep but he seems pretty manly.

I look over to see Eva playing and she looks at me smiling, "We get to see Ryujin soon! I say excitedly.

"What do you think he's like?" I ask Eva while picking her up.

"Do you think he will be handsome?"

"Would it be awkward?"

hard carryy: Do you want to Skype tonight instead? I don't like the anticipation of waiting for your birthday. It's giving me really bad anxiety.

I drop my phone after reading that and look at Eva still in my arm. "Should we say yes? Are we ready?"

It's what I've wanted so why am I nervous now. I take a deep breath and send okay

I guess I'm sleeping in the guest room tonight because we won't be able to Skype until later at night when Dana goes to sleep.

I'm in the middle of making dinner when I get a call from my mom. She says that she's planning to visit Dana and I for my birthday.

kitty_purrfect: my mom is coming to visit!

It's become a thing for Ryujin and I. We just share random news with each other Small or big, it doesn't matter. He always makes sure he's listeningthough and it makes me feel appreciative. Over the course of getting to know each other, I think I'm slowly developing feelings for him.

I bury those feelings though. It will never change the fact that we live too far away. He has his life over there and I have mine over here.

hard_carryy0: That's awesome! You must be really happy.

kitty_purrfect: I am. Today is just a good day. I'll get to see you later and my mom is coming in a few days.

hard_carryy0: Don't expect a lot from seeing me though lol.

kittyfpurrfect: Why? I've been wanting to see what you look like for so long.

hard_carryy0: I know. What's Eva doing?

Another thing I like about him. He always ask about Eva. When we talk on the phone, my heart always melts when Ryujin talks to Eva.

kitty_purrfect: she's in her playpen while I prepare dinner because Dana says he's too tired to play with her.

hard_carryy0: How are you and Dana?

kitty_purrfect: Were doing fine. Always the same Dana, different day. How about you? How's your dating life.

hard_carryy0: nonexistent? Lol tomorrow I have a date with my ex lol so let's see how that goes.

Why is he going on a date with his ex? Since I've admitted to myself that I'm starting to like him, I get really jealous when he mentions other girls but I can't really tell him I like him.

kitty_purrfect: Why are you going on a date with your ex?

hard_carryy0: She texted me out of the blue and wanted to see if we could give us another shot so I figured why not.

Kitty_porrfect: you still have feelings for her?

hard_carryy0: I'm not sure. Maybe? She was my first love and sometimes i do miss her. We see each other a lot since we're still friends but I miss her in a romantic way, I guess

kitty_purrfect: ahh.

hard_carryy0: Everything okay?

kitty_purrfect: yep. Everything is fine.

hard_carryy0: Yeji, I think I've known you long enough that when you say fine, everything is not fine. When it's actually fine, you would say 'it's okay'.

Ugh. Why did he have to catch that? He's so annoying for being attentive.

kitty_purrfect: I just don't like the idea of you going on a date with your ex.

That was mostly the truth. I don't want him to go on dates at all.

hard_carryy0: Why?

kitty_purrfect: she's your ex for a reason. Didn't she break up with you because she wanted something different? If it didn't work out then it won't work out now.

hard_carryy0: Aww you care about me. I really appreciate the concern but I promise I'll be careful.

kitty_purrfect: Fine. Just be careful.

hard_carryy0: Yeji, thank you for being a good friend.

kitty_purrfect: Anytime.

Why did it hurt me a little when he called me his friend? We are friends. Do I want more than that? I know we've been friends but seeing him actually refer to me as a friend stings a bit.