chapter 14

After the conversation with Ryujin about my possible pregnancy, thankfully I'm not pregnant. I began to distance myself from him. We would still taïk here and there. We would play video games together or talk on the phone. Ryujin is back with his ex but I guess they would constantly light because she doesn't like that Ryujin talks to me.

My mother and John went home after my birthday. It wasn't a bad birthday. We went out to eat. I appreciated Dana not being an ass in front of my mom

I'm starting to try again with Dana too. I can't continue developing feelings for Ryujin when he clearly just sees me as a friend.

kitty_purrfect: Can we talk tonight? Like over the phone.

hard_carryy0: uhh yea sure. I won't be able to talk until late though. Lia and I have plans tonight

kitty_purrfect: that's fine

I sigh while staring at my phone. Lia, Ryujin's ex girlfriend and now girlfriend again. I never thought I would hate a name.

"Yeji!" Dana yells my name.

look at him, "What?"

"I've called your name so many times and you didn't answer. What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing. What did you need?" I ask him.

"I'm asking you to start streaming on twitch. Come on. I'll take care of everything, you just have to show up on camera and play games" he begs.

"Why don't you do it if you want to stream so much?" I ask annoyed now,

"Because no one wants to watch a guy do it. They want someone pretty like you" I suddenly feel myself blush. Dana doesn't really call me pretty a lot.

"Fine I'll do it but if I start to feel uncomfortable I want to be able to stop whenever I want" I say.

He jumps up and kisses me before leaving.

kitty purrfect: Guess who's gonna be a twitch streamer now?

hard_carryy0: Uhm I'm not sure. Eva?

kitty_purrfect: funny but you should watch me play if you're not busy.

hard_carryy0: I wouldn't miss it for the world :).

Sometimes I feel like Ryujin is sending me mixed signals or is he just this naturally flirty or maybe he's just being nice and I'm the one thinking he's flirting.

Dana is too excited for this twitch thing, he's already got the guest room set up. "We can do it this weekend okay?" He says like a little kid.

"I'll monitor you and everything" he continues.

"Dana, are you gonna watch Eva then? While monitoring the stream?" I ask.

"Nope. Asked my mom if she could watch her so she will be spending the night at my parents" he says making me upset because he didn't ask me if that was okay.

"You do know I'm her mom right? You should have informed me instead of deciding this on your own" I raise my voice a bit.

"Yeji, stop being dramatic. That's her grandparents. You act like I asked a Friend to do it" Dana shakes his head at me.

"Why do you never try to understand my point of view? It's always about you. You don't see us as partners so how do you expect me to wantto marry you?" I ask lowering my voice again

"What's there to understand? You're always so dramatic ahout everything. Why is it so hard for you to marry me? We live together, have a kid together, go on family events together so why is it hard? When nothing is gonna change except for a piece of paper declaring our marriage?" Dana now asks.

"Because I don't feel like you want to marry me because you love me. You want to marry me because you think it's the right thing to do. You don't want people to think I'm just your baby mama. Can we please drop this? Eva can stay at your parents" I say giving up.

Finally, it's time for bed. Dana actually was the one to put Eva to sleep which surprised me but he probably did it because of the twitch thing. I honestly don't even know if I started that fight with Dana on purpose or not. He's already asleep and I'm currently watching TV in the living room waiting for Ryujin to call.

My phone rings and I quickly mute the TV when I see it's Ryujin.

"Hello" I answer the phone

"Ello" he says.

"Would you be able to watch my first stream this weekend? I understand if you already have plans with your girlfriend" I say hating the word girlfriend.

"I should be able to. She's hanging out with her friends this weekend" he says and I smile.

"So what did you and Lia do today?" I ask. For some reason I'm always curious about what they do together even though it hurts me at times.

"We went to this party at her parents house then we went to her place and did stuff. Since I still live with my parents it's safer at her house" he chuckles.

"Stuff? And I didn't know you still live with your parents" I was wondering.

"You know. Things couples do Intimately he says and I can sense he's being shy.

"Oh, you two had sex" I say almost in a whisper like.

"Mhm."

"Is she good?" I suddenly ask surprising even myself.

"Uhh I think that's too personal" he laughs.

"Right. Sorry I don't know what came over me" I try to laugh.

"Ryujin. I think I'm developing feelings for you. I think I like you" I say out of nowhere. I don't know why I just had the urge to say it.

He stays silent. I'm starting to freak out. What if he stops talking to me.

"I think I like you too" he says after being silent for a long time.

He likes me too? I feel happy but then I remember our situation, I become sad again. I let out a sad sigh.

"Why are you sad?" Ryujin ask. He always notices the smallest things with me.

"I just remembered that you're too far away for us to actually do anything about us" I say.

"I'm sorry. I wish things could be different but I couldn't help it. Aside from the fact that you don't like gay people, you're pretty amazing."

"I'm trying to be open minded. I keep reminding myself what you told me. I shouldn't let a few people ruin the reputation of the majority" I say feeling ashamed of myself.

"I'm happy to hear that. Yeji, I shouldn't say this because I have a girlfriend but I think I really like you. You always cross my mind every dav, I wonder what you and Eva are doing. I get mad when you tell mehow Dana barely pays attention to Eva and how he doesn't help you. T don't know how it's even possible to like someone you've never met in person he says in all seriousness.

"If we lived closer, would you try to be with me?" lask.

"Of course. Without a doubt. I would be dumb to not try" he says confidently.

"Then that's good enough for me. Knowing if we weren't so far away, we would be together" I say trying not to get too emotional.

"But I don't think you would want to be with me if you meet me in person" he says in a sad tone.

"Why?" I ask right away, confuse.

"I don't think I'm your type."

He's not my type? Why would he think that?

"That's crazy. You're crazy" I laugh but he didn't.

I sense an awkwardness between us but I ignore it.

"Can we sleep again together tonight? Please" I ask. Our version of sleeping together is staying on the phone. He usually falls asleep first and I find the sound of his breathing calming.

"Okay" he chuckles.

I go to the guest room and lay down right away. I hear him move around on the other line probably getting comfortable.

"Good night Yeji. I like you" I hear him say and I think he's smiling.

"Good Ryujin. I like you too."