chapter 16

I didn't talk to Ryujin for a week after that night, I keep telling myself 1 won't talk to him ever again. I'm so hunt over what happened. He pretty much just rejected me. He keeps texting me though. Saying sorry and asking if I'm okay which makes me miss him

In the end, I fail and I continue talking to him but I don't know if I'm okay with the whole just friends thing.

In that week of not talking, it was hard. I had to pretend I was okay and not hurting in front of Dana I think he's starting to sense something because I caught him checking my phone. Good thing Ryujin and I fought because I actually deleted our conversation because I swore to myself I wasn't going to talk him ever again.

I'm still planning to break up with Dana though. Whether Ryujin wants to be with me or not. I know for sure I can't be with Dana.

I go about my usual routine until Dana comes home. I mentally prepare myself for the talk

He comes home and tries to give me his usual hug and kiss but I stop him. He gives me a confuse look, "What's wrong?"

I exhale, "I want to break up."

I look at him expecting anger or sadness or something but nothing. He just stares at me. It was starting to make me uncomfortable.

"Are you moving out? He ask me. I did not expect that to be the first question he would ask.

"I can't. I was going to stay in the guest bedroom and pay rent" I say hoping he won't kick me out.

He smiles, "Okay"

"Why are you smiling? I just broke up with you. I expected a lot of things but this isn't the reaction I expected from you".

" Jeji, you have no where to go. You can't afford a place of your own and support Eva. You think we're broken up but as long as you live here then we're together. No one is gonna know you broke up with me. In their eyes, we're a happy family. Besides I'm sure sooner or later you'll come back to me. I'm not worried" he says before going upstairs to his room

I don't know how to react but as long as he doesn't try to touch me again then I doar care what he thinks. I'm finally single again so I text Ryulin.

kitry_purrfect: Guess wito's single???

hard_carryy0: You?

kitty_purrfect: Yes sir. Single and ready to mingle with you.

hard_carryy0: Cute.

kitty_purrfect: so when are you gonna break up with your girlfriend.

hard_carryy0: Who says we're breaking up?

kitty_purrfect: I am. Ryujin, I can't do this just friends with you. I'm okay with doing LDR until we can be together physically. Don't lie to me and say we won't work out and bullshit. I've never felt this connected with anyone but you.

hard_carryy0: I just don't want you to get hurt.

kitty_purrfect: you're hurting me now that you're saying you don't want to be with me when I know deep down you do, What's holding you back?

hard_carryy0: Nothing. Well my girlfriend.

kitty_purrfect: Why are you even dating your ex? They're an ex for a reason.

hard_carryy0: I don't know. She felt comfortable and familiar. I missed her.

kitty_purrfect: then what about me?

hard_carryy0: You're new and scary but I feel comfortable with you. I can't explain it. I understand that connection you're talking about. I somehow got attached to you and even to Eva. I want to take care of both of you.

kitty_purrfect: and you can someday when we're together which I believe we will.

hard_carryy0: Aren't we moving too fast though?

kitty_purrfect: that's why I said someday. I'm not asking you to get married. I want us to get to know each other bur not just as friends but I also want us to be exclusive to each other. Not boyfriend and girlfriend but just promise not to see other people.

hard_carryy0: I feel bad having a conversation like this when I still have a girlfriend.

kitty_purrfect: does that mean you're considering it?

hard_carryy0: Maybe.

kita_purrfect: I want to be better, Ryujin. As a person. For some reason you make me want to be better. When I sent those things to you about gay people, you didn't hate or get mad at me. You tried to show me a different perspective instead. You always try to show me a different perspective of things but I want more of that in my life. I want more of you in life. With you by my side, I can feel like I can be a better person for myself.

hard_carryy0: Are you trying to win my heart?

kitty_purrfect: psshh I thought I already did. But in all seriousness, I don't want Eva to grow up thinking like me. I want her to be accepting of everyone. Dana and I are not good role models for that but you are. You inspire me to be better. Like today, I saw a picture of Dana's sister and her girlfriend. I almost cringed but when I remember what you said that i shouldn't generalize all gay people just cause of a couple of them hurt me. You're always so understanding. You could have easily judged me as well but you didn't.

hard_carryy0: Yeji two bad people hurt you and brake your trust. I understood why you felt the way you did but I can still see you're a good person. Like I said before, you're beautiful. Inside and out. Dana is daran stupid to not realize that and mistreated you.

kitty_purrfect: I have you now. I'm still upset with you that you rejected me but I remember all the times you showed me how much you care about me so I decided to give you another chance. I still don't know why you're rejecting me but please stop. Give us a chance.

hard_carryy0: I'll try my best.

kitty_purrfect: does this mean you're breaking up with your girlfriend?

hard_carryy0: Maybe?

kitty_purrfect: Ryujin!

hard_carryy0: Okay fine tol.

kitty_purrfect: BTW you're an asshole for dating your ex only to break up with her again.

hard_carryy0: You're the one telling me to break up with her!

kitty_purrfect: Clearly you didn't love her since you're willing to break up with her so easily.

hard_carryy0: It's not my foult I started falling for you.

katty_purrfect: how can you say that so cumally??

hard_carryy0: Because it's the truth

kitty_purrfect: seriously why did vos date her asin?

hard_carryy0: It's gonna make me sound like even more of an asshole if I tell you the reason.

kitty_purrfect: Just tell me.

hard_carryy0: Like I said, you never really stop loving your first love. She's the one who broke up with me. It wasn't my choice so when she asked if we could get back together. I thought it's what I wanted because it's what I wanted back then when she ended it. Then you and I continued to talk and I got to know you more and my feelings for you just developed but you and I are impossible so I decided to give her and I chance. Now you're telling me, there's a possibility between us and you're asking me to break up with her which I don't mind.

kitty_purrfect: I don't know whether to think if you're sweet or an asshole haha.

hard_carryy0: both can go hand in hand lol.

I caught myself smiling. Ryujin and I are finally gonna see where this will lead. I hope in the end, were together.