Chapter 4: Crazy

Lulu was not okay. Most definitely not!

Her brain was buffering as though on internet from the 90s, trying to process what just happened.

Coffee didn't just phase through people. Hands didn't just glitch like a bad video game.

She took a slow, careful step back, eyes locked onto the old man, who still looked mildly apologetic.

He cleared his throat. "I, uh… I would have caught it if I could."

Lulu pointed a shaking finger at him. "You—You're—"

A voice from the bakery interrupted her existential crisis.

"Lulu? Are you alright, ma chére?"

She turned to find Claudette and a couple of other customers staring at her like she'd gone insane…maybe she had.

"I—He—" Lulu whipped her head back to the man, then back to them. "The coffee—" She gestured wildly to the crime scene of caffeine on the sidewalk.

Claudette raised a perfectly trimmed brow. "Yes… you dropped it."

Lulu's mouth opened, then closed. "I dropped it?"

"Oui."

She slowly turned back to the old man. He looked as solid as anyone else—well, except for the fact that she now knew he wasn't.

Her stomach twisted. "You guys didn't see him try to take it?"

More confused looks. A guy passing by muttered something about "crazy people being out early," and Lulu felt her eye twitch.

'Now would be a great time for the floor to swallow me, or for lightning strike me…'

As she continued to stand there, unable to explain herself or why it looked as though she was standing on a crowded street, talking to the air.

The disdainful gazes of those around just grew heavier and heavier.

'C'mon Thor! Zeus? Anyone?! You can't give up one single lightning bolt to put me out of my misery?!'

"Is she on drugs?" A little boy passing by loudly asked his mother while pointing at Lulu. His mother quickly grabbed his outstretched hand while smiling at Lulu apologetically, before ducking her head to whisper: "Most likely sweety. That's why you need to listen to mommy and daddy"

'I can hear you!!!!'

Knowing that continuing to talk to the man would only further her embarrassment, she quickly fled back to her apartment under the concerned gaze of Claudette and slammed the door shut behind her.

"Well that was embarrassing…"

"Arghhhh!" Lulu screamed while tripping over a shoe rack by her front door, causing the pairs of shoes to scatter all over the place—not that she was concerned with the mess at that very moment.

She whipped her head around to see the same old man from the bakery had followed her home—and into her apartment.

"Y-Y-You-you are" she stuttered while pointing a trembling finger at him.

He chuckled. "I believe the term you're looking for is 'ghost,' my dear."

"Get out of my apartment!" She screamed while throwing the shoes strewn about in his direction, grabbing some bug spray from a nearby stand and spraying it at him, picking up a snowglobe from a nearby display case that was a souvenir from her last vacation and throwing it at him—naturally none of her 'weapons' worked.

Bang Bang Bang

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" Her next-door neighbour shouted, calming down her momentary hysteria.

Lulu took a long, deep breath through her nose. Then another. Then a third, for good measure.

She sat down on a nearby chair to relieve her trembling legs, while the man continued to stare at her calmly.

"Cool, cool, cool," she finally said, nodding as though she wasn't absolutely losing it. "So, I see dead people now. That's… totally normal."

The old man gave her an understanding smile. "This is a lot to take in, isn't it? I also was having trouble coming to terms with my death, but seeing you freak out has really helped me calm down."

"Geez, well I am so thankful I could be of service to you." Lulu snapped sarcastically.

He nodded sympathetically. "Well, since you're already having a hard time, I suppose now's not the best time to tell you that you also stepped in something…unfortunate on your way back."

Lulu glanced down.

Her white and blue sneaker now had a suspicious brown smear on its sole. And, in her frantic efforts to exorcise the ghost in her apartment, she'd left horrifying brown footprints throughout her apartment.

"Ahhhhhh!!" Lulu finally collapsed screaming at a sight even more disturbing than the ghost.

Bang Bang Bang

"I said to shut up you psycho woman!"