Chapter 22: Eulogies and Eye Rolls

First thing in the morning, Lulu located a shop that purchased gold and silver in exchange for cash, in order to sell the bars.

Thankfully, Amelia hadn't been fooled—every single bar was authentic. Even better, the price of silver and gold had risen slightly, boosting the total value to an astonishing $22.6k.

When the final amount was tallied, Lulu's eyes nearly bulged out of her head. Even the store clerk looked stunned, fumbling through the process before calling over the manager to authorize such a large transaction. A few signatures, some small talk, and one incredibly surreal moment later, Lulu walked out $20,000 richer.

She clutched the envelope containing the cheque tightly as she stepped onto the street, thankful that she didn't have to carry around the bills, and the weight of her newfound wealth settling on her.

'Can I really make this into a career? What should I put on my resume? Psychic? Medium? Professional Ghost Whisperer and Treasure Hunter?'

She shook her head at herself. That was a thought for later. Right now, she had something else to focus on.

Back at her apartment, she kicked off her shoes and collapsed onto the couch with a heavy sigh. Amelia walked beside her, looking unusually pensive.

"We should probably figure out my funeral speech now," the ghost said, tapping her chin.

Lulu groaned. "You really want me to do this? I will probably be roasted alive or, at the very least thrown out by security, for disturbing your family's mourning in such a classless fashion"

Amelia gave her a pointed look. "I just made you twenty grand. You can at least say a few words in my honour. Take the extra funds plus your base fee as the additional compensation for the risks involved."

"Risks?!"

"Yeah…my aunt has a bit of a temper. A reeaalll nasty drunk that one. But I doubt she will actually jump you"

'Excuse me?!'

Lulu signed in resignation, after all she'd already deposited the cheque and couldn't return the money.

She grabbed her laptop, powered it on, and did a quick search of Amelia's friends' and families' social media accounts.

Amelia's funeral was in three days. Not a lot of time.

"Alright," she said, cracking her knuckles. "What exactly do you want me to say?"

Amelia plopped down on the couch—which eerily didn't sink due to any weight—and clasped her hands dramatically. "I have already made a mental list of everyone I want you to address. I already know what I want to say so that will be the easy part. However, I also want for you to talk a bit about myself, and if you could make it sound like I was an absolute legend, that'd be great."

Lulu rolled her eyes. "So, you want me to lie."

Amelia gasped, clutching her chest. "Excuse me! I was absolutely a legend for putting up with all of the horrible people in my life without murdering even a single one of them."

"Uh-huh." Lulu opened a blank document. "Alright, let's start with the basics. Full name?"

"You don't know my full name?"

Lulu paused. "…You only ever told me 'Amelia.'"

Amelia grinned mischievously. "That's because it's long and unnecessarily fancy."

Lulu stared. "Oh god."

Amelia smirked. "It's Amelia Sofía de la Cruz Montserrat Fernández-López."

Lulu's fingers hovered over the keyboard. "Are you serious?"

Amelia wiggled her eyebrows. "Dead serious."

Lulu groaned, dropping her head onto the keyboard with a thud.

This was going to be a long night.