Chapter 24: Mourning or Performing?

Lulu sat stiffly in her seat as one relative after another stepped up to the podium, their voices thick with emotion as they spoke of Amelia. Or rather, according to the ghost next to her, as they acted out a play performing the grieving relative.

Amelia, sitting beside Lulu and unseen by the living, had her arms crossed and was rolling her eyes so hard it was a miracle they didn't pop out of her ghostly head.

The first speaker, a middle-aged woman in a deep black dress, stepped up to the podium. "Amelia was like a daughter to me," she began, voice thick with emotion. "She was always so kind, so full of life—"

"OOOOHHH! My darling Amelia! I don't know how I can go ooonnnn!" The middle-aged woman on the stage collapsed to the floor exaggeratedly in grief.

"Oh, would you listen to this nonsense?" she scoffed. "Aunt Mariella acting like she ever cared about me when she spent every family gathering complaining about how I 'never amounted to anything,' 'That I could be prettier,' 'That I was kind of old to be unwed (when I'm only 24!)', or 'That if my mother were still alive I've been her biggest regret in life!' The only thing she's mourning is that I'm not around for her to talk down to anymore!"

Lulu resisted the urge to glance Amelia's way. If anyone caught her reacting to thin air, she'd be the one getting talked about next.

One by one, Amelia's so-called loved ones took their turns. Each speech was more unbearable than the last. Cousins who barely acknowledged her in life sobbed about how they had 'so many wonderful memories' together.

The hypocrisy was almost impressive.

"Liars, the lot of them," Amelia muttered. "If I had a dollar for every fake tear shed in this room, I'd have been rich enough to fake my own death and escape to a private island."

When the latest relative finally sat down, an older man took her place—Amelia's uncle, Eduardo. He cleared his throat and placed a hand over his heart. "Amelia was such a free spirit. She had such a wonderful relationship with all of us. Family meant everything to her. She took after me so much in that sense."

"Oh, that's rich, Tío Eddie. You wouldn't even let me stay at your house for ONE NIGHT when I had nowhere else to go. 'It wouldn't be appropriate,' you said! Oh, but when your precious son got arrested for DUIs, you were all about 'family solidarity' then, huh?"

Lulu exhaled slowly, struggling to keep a straight face as Eduardo went on about how Amelia always brought joy to family gatherings. Amelia, meanwhile, was practically seething.

"This is some next-level gaslighting," she muttered, arms flailing dramatically. "I swear, they've convinced themselves they were good people."

Lulu risked a whisper. "Well, technically, they're the only ones left to tell the story."

Amelia shot her a glare. "Not if we have anything to say about it."

The next few speeches continued in a similar manner. Cousins, uncles, aunts—one after another, they painted a picture of Amelia that was completely divorced from reality. According to them, she was beloved, cherished, and always supported by her wonderful family.

Then came the moment that sent Amelia into a full-blown rage.

A man in his late twenties stepped up to the podium, dark curls neatly styled, dressed in a crisp black suit. He cleared his throat dramatically and exhaled shakily, as though barely holding himself together.

Lulu had a bad feeling about this one.

"As most of you know," he began, voice thick with feigned sorrow, "Amelia and I were very much in love."

Amelia let out an ear-piercing shriek that, thankfully, only Lulu could hear.

"EXCUSE ME!?"

The man continued, placing a hand over his heart. "She was my world, my soulmate. We had our ups and downs, like any couple, but our love was undeniable. I was planning to propose, you know. I even bought the ring."

Lulu winced, fully expecting Amelia to start throwing phantom objects across the room.

"That lying, cheating, no-good piece of—Lulu! You have to stand up and call him out!" Amelia fumed, practically vibrating with fury. "We broke up a DAY before I died! He CHEATED on me!"

"Awww that's so sad!" A pretty looking woman sitting a few feet from Lulu said out loud.

"Oh my god! I never got to tell anyone we broke up, and now he probably just wants to use my death to garner sympathy while women flock to comfort his 'broken heart'"

Lulu did not doubt that for a second, based on what Amelia described about him, that Carlos was exactly the kind of man who would turn his ex-girlfriend's funeral into his own personal dating pool.

The ex-boyfriend—Carlos, if Lulu remembered correctly—wiped away a single, perfectly timed tear. "She was taken from us too soon. But I will cherish every moment we had together."

Amelia let out an inhuman screech that sounded like it came more from a banshee or bird than a human "Argh $%$$! You M$&$@ F#@&#&!!!"

As he stepped down from the podium, women from the audience gave him sad, pitying looks. One even reached out to squeeze his hand in comfort.

Amelia groaned in disgust. "Oh, I am going to haunt him SO hard."

As the speeches continued, Lulu couldn't help but think this funeral had turned into something of a tragic comedy. But at least, soon enough, it would be her turn to speak. And unlike everyone else here, she was actually going to tell the truth.