Chapter 1

soccer ball

June 1, 2021.

I am dead.

It was a truly absurd death.

I remember a phrase that used to be posted on the front door of my house.

[Though your beginnings were small, your latter days will be great.]

My football career had a grand beginning but a humble ending.

Football tempted me like the devil, promising to give me everything, and then in the end it took everything away.

Dear father, mother, sister, lover, friend…

Everyone is miserable because of soccer.

"What is this guy?"

"He was hit by a van and died instantly."

"however?"

"I received an order from above to find out the exact cause and report it."

"From above?"

"They said they were from the higher-ups at the Football Association… Well, if they want to criticize us, they can."

"Is this guy a soccer player!? He looks like a homeless person."

"I thought so too, but I was surprised when I checked my resident registration card."

"why?"

"Why… Back in the old days… There was this player who was selected as a high school student during the 1998 World Cup and became famous."

"Lee Dong-gyun?"

"No! That guy is now a retired K-League legend who has made a fortune through broadcasting and is living a very good life. What are you talking about?"

"Then who!?"

"Kim Gun-woo. Don't you know?"

"…"

"If Lee Dong-gyun blew it in the match against the Netherlands, then Kim Geon-woo blew it in the match against Belgium. Don't you remember him coming on as a substitute in the second half and hitting the goal post with a refreshing left-footed shot?"

"I don't know. Not at all. It's already been 20 years since then. How can you remember that?"

"but."

"This guy is that player named Kim Geon-woo?"

"Yes. Unfortunately, it's that Kim Gun-woo. He was a soccer genius like Lee Dong-gyun, but his life is… shitty."

"What have you been doing since the 1998 World Cup? I've never heard of you before."

"Me too. So I just looked it up on Wikipedia… It was really unfortunate. After participating in the 1998 World Cup, he suffered from injuries… had problems with his university and the team because of his contract… was involved in legal battles… was arbitrarily withdrawn… got caught up in lawsuits big and small, and finally went pro, but got seriously injured again and his career as a player was completely over in his mid-20s."

"okay?"

"That's too bad. But he was once called a genius boy…"

"How did you get into an accident? Could it be… suicide?"

"No. Well, that's…"

what?

There is only darkness.

Is this death?

I felt a little relieved.

But death came so suddenly.

Maybe I've been slowly killing myself for a very long time.

But I've been hearing someone's voice since a while ago.

I was clearly dead, but my breathing stopped.

What is this voice?

"A child of elementary school age was playing with a soccer ball on the side of the road when he jumped into the road. He almost got hit by a van, but Kim Gun-woo jumped in and saved the child. However, he…"

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"really!?"

"They say he died on the spot while hugging a soccer ball… It's quite a strange end for an unfortunate soccer genius."

This is the autopsy room and these two are medical examiners.

As he said, my end was strange.

It was as if the god of soccer had grown tired of playing with me like a doll and then abandoned me.

My life was torn apart by soccer, my legs were torn off, my arms were torn off, and eventually my head was torn off.

"Reporters have already heard the news and are here in chaos."

"That's right. What item would get more clicks than the tragic death of a fallen hero?"

"Still, they will praise you as a righteous person and eat you up, even to the last drop."

I wish I could have covered my ears.

I didn't want to hear any more.

I didn't want to live any longer and had no reason to live any longer.

My family is already dead and all my friends have betrayed me.

And more than anything, football abandoned me.

"There is no more regret in my life."

It's over now.

radish.

I will disappear like dust into a world of nothingness where there is no me, no world, and no soccer.

"… still."

If only I could see my parents just one more time.

If only I could stroke my beloved little sister's head just one more time.

"It's meaningless…"

I closed my eyes.

Now it's time for me to erase myself and turn to dust.

however…

A circle appeared in a corner of my mind.

Circumference 68cm, weight 210 grams.

A demon made by attaching 13 pieces of leather.

That which once was my everything.

The last thing that remained in my mind as I was disappearing was that round, vengeful circle.

"If only I could go back to that time again."

***

"Gunwoo! Gunwoo!!"

I opened my eyes to the sound of my mother calling me.

When I got up, my back hurt because of the cheap bed.

"What is this? Wait a minute?"

I rubbed my eyes and looked around.

The small room was filled with a cheap bed, a cheap desk, a cheap audio system, and a variety of other cheap items.

Among them, what caught my eye was a poster on the wall.

A large poster of my idol Johan Cruyff raising his right arm and leading the team.

"Then here…"

I jumped out of bed and checked the calendar.

March 2, 1998.

The door was wide open.

"Oppa! Mommy's cooking! Gosh!!"

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My younger sister Jihye saw my naked body and turned around screaming.

My body in panties was reflected in the full-length mirror.

Height: 186 cm, weight: 74 kg.

He has a slim body for a soccer player, but he has good bones and long arms and legs.

"There are no scars… no surgical marks… not one."

What surprised me more than the fact that I had regressed was the state of my body.

Injuries that constantly plagued me during my playing days.

Ankles, knees, waist… they were all fine.

My body was not yet ruined.

"No. To be exact, it's on the verge of breaking."

I frowned at the sight of the single patch stuck to my left knee.

I calmly locked the door and put on my tracksuit.

It was so amazing that I stroked my body and pinched my arm, but it was clearly real.

"This is happening to me…"

It was 1998, the year I so desperately wanted to go back to.

Back to that time in my past life when I cried every night and regretted it thousands of times.

"I'm back."

When I came out after gathering my emotions, the whole family was gathered in the small living room eating breakfast.

His father, Kim Pan-ho, ran a newsagent, his mother, Choi Gyeong-suk, was a housewife but worked various side jobs, and his younger sister, Ji-hye, was a high school freshman.

We lived in room 301 of Haengbok Villa, located on the outskirts of Eunpyeong-gu, Seoul.

For a poor family with limited means, the breakfast table was unusual.

All kinds of nutritious food were served, including pork ribs, bulgogi, grilled eel, and seasoned deodeok.

"Son~ Did you sleep well? I prepared a lot, so eat a lot~~"

"mom…"

I could barely hold back my tears.

It's so nice to see my father, mother and Jihye again with such bright faces.

"Hey! You eat first, then eat after me!!"

"Ah! This is so annoying! Mom always takes care of you!"

"Of course! Gunwoo is our family's hope! Hope!"

I laughed at the bickering between my mom and sister.

I'm really back in time.

"Mom, don't be like that. Jihye needs to eat well too."

I understood why my younger sister Jihye was upset, but what my mother said was also true.

I was the ace of the third-year soccer team at Myeongseong High School and the hope to solve my family's financial problems.

I started participating in national competitions as a starter when I was in my first year of middle school, and I won championships and MVPs as easily as eating a meal, making a name for myself as a national star.

Since I was in middle school, not only high school soccer coaches, but also professional soccer team officials and agents have been visiting my house quite often.

My father received alcohol and entertainment from those people, and the Myeongseong High School he is attending now was also his decision.

Now, Myeongseong High School coach Ji Young-man even privately calls my father "hyung."

"Poor father…"

As I will discuss later, the seeds of tragedy were sown from this time on and began to sprout rapidly.

"I ate well. It was so delicious that it brought tears to my eyes."

"Oh, my. Son… What's wrong today? What's wrong?"

"No, nothing happened."

If I told my mom what happened to me, she'd say it was just a nightmare, right?

How long has it been since I ate a meal prepared by my mother?

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My cooking skills were still lacking, but the taste was so delicious that I could feel the sincerity and it brought tears to my eyes.

I was barely holding back my tears as I finished eating and was about to go to school when my mother stopped me and held something out to me.

"Son. You forgot this."

"Ah… this is…"

What my mother handed me was a bag of herbal medicine.

The identity of the black liquid inside is…

Snakes, foxes, frogs, carp…

I will not go into further detail.

"Mom, I won't eat this anymore."

"Oh my god! How much did you pay for this!?"

"Throw it all away. I'll come back and tell you the details."

I refused the vicious juice bag and left the house.

When I came out and looked back, it was a really old and shabby villa.

It seemed like the exterior walls hadn't been cleaned since the 1994 World Cup in the US, and a few letters from Happy Villa had fallen off and become [행보비ㄹ].

The neighborhood I went to school from home was the same.

There was trash strewn everywhere, and cigarette butts and spit were scattered on the floor.

"It really was a shabby neighborhood."

In fact, I was born into a working class family and had always lived in places like this, so I had no major complaints about my environment at the time.

I had no desire to become rich, and I had no intention of leaving this neighborhood. I just dreamed of earning as much as I could by working honestly and living a happy life with my family.

but.

That was a stupid, idiotic idea.

In the midst of the whirlwind of misfortune that will hit us next year, our happy families will be completely torn apart.

There were three reasons why our family had to fall apart.

First, I didn't know who was a good person and who was a bad person.

Second, I didn't know what to believe and what to doubt.

Third, I didn't know how to accumulate wealth and how to protect myself with that wealth.

Now I know all three.

In my past life, I paid tuition with my blood and tears.

In this life, I will not be hit by any dog, and I will protect my body and my family to the end.

Using soccer.

Because soccer is all about money.

"Geonwoo!"

As I entered the school gate, the female students waved at me.