10

Daniella's POV

"From the clinic?" Anna asks, breaking the trance I was in.

I quickly pick up. "Hello? Am I talking to Daniella Evans?" A voice I recognized to be of one of Edward's nurses.

"Yes," I answer simply, feeling my heart quicken in my chest.

"Mr. Zimmerman has instructed us to call you in the events of his death, I'm extremely sorry to break the news to you," she pauses, waiting for some kind of response but I stay silent, my eyes are on Anna's, in them a mix of curiosity and worry. "Mr. Zimmerman passed this evening, we did everything we could -"

"Thank you," I say quickly, not really wanting to hear that protocoled speech all over again.

"Daniella, what is it?" Anna asks, scooting over once I end the call. My mouth is dry and I don't really know what to say. "Has anything happened to Lucia... Edward?" I can see tears well up in her eyes before she could so much as finish her sentence.

"I'm so sorry, Anna," is all I can say as I pull her into an embrace.

"Why are you sorry?" she asks in a small voice, not wanting to believe in the conclusion she took out of my words. Her body trembles uncontrollably against mine.

"Edward - he passed away."

At that, her body goes completely still. "No," she says simply, shaking her head and pulling away from me. "No, Daniella," she looks me in the eyes for any sight of humor but she's only met with teary ones.

That was the last piece of confirmation needed, her tears now ran free down her face. All I could do was let her fall back to my arms, holding her tightly. At some point, Soph and Jenny noticed something was off, they now stood by her side with confused expressions, until it hit them - Jenny did first, it took a while for Soph.

I can't imagine how pitiful the sight of four women crying in the middle of a park must look from an outside view. I don't know for how long we just stood there in silence, but when we finally decided to leave the sky was pitch black.

"You should check on your mom," Anna says once we're in the car.

"We'll go get her, sleep over tonight," I hold her hand over her lap.

"No, it's ok," she says with a small smile, squeezing my hand lightly.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I just need some time to myself."

I want to insist and tell her I don't want her to leave - but that would be too selfish of me.

"Are you really sure about this? Call me if you need me," I sigh as I park my car in front of her house.

"Don't worry," she says simply, planting a long peck on my lips. "Go to your mom, she needs you right now."

"You need me right now too," I say looking into her eyes, she's no longer crying, not because she's truly ok but because she simply has run out of tears. "Anna, I knew... That Edward was dying," I say out of impulse.

I don't know what I was expecting but a smile wasn't it. "So did I."

"How-"

"I'm not stupid, Daniella."

"No, you're not," I say immediately, not wanting to start a fight but Anna's face showed no sight of angriness.

"I just wish I had seen him before he passed. I thought... we still had time."

"He didn't want you to see him like that, he wanted you to only keep the good memories you have with him."

She holds my hand on her chest with one of her hands, wiping away newly shed tears, that somehow materialized in her dehydrated body, with the other. "In Jewish tradition, when someone passes away, we say 'zikhrono livrakha' or 'may their memory be a blessing' we say this to honor them and because we believe that by remembering the times they've lived, we're somehow keeping them alive," she holds my hand tighter. "Thank you, Daniella."

My throat feels tight and I suddenly feel ashamed for wanting to cry again in front of her, "I love you," is all I manage to say.

"I love you too."

One last goodbye kiss and I let her walk back to her house, waving back at her as she closes the door.

The drive to the clinic seems like the longest I've ever taken. Consolating people has never been my forte.

When my father passed away, I was just about to turn eighteen, I felt like I didn't have a reason to be sad, not after all he made us go through but I couldn't help the feeling of loss, no matter how much I tried to push it away - while at the same time getting mad at my mom for being visibly sad, I didn't understand why she'd cry for him, yet I secretly did the same.

She's right, isn't she? I really am just like him.

"Let's go home, mom," I say, resting a hand on her shoulder. It didn't take me long to find her when I didn't see her in her room, I figured she'd be in his, sitting in his bed, both hands on her lap.

She isn't crying but there's a distant look in her eyes.

"Yes, Slippers is waiting for us," she lets out a weak chuckle. "I can't believe you named him that."

"He ate my favorite pair of slippers first thing, and you did say people are what they eat," I laugh, remembering the time she brought him home for my 12th birthday.

"At least own it, you can't keep blaming it on other people," she says as I help her out of the bed. "You don't even have a niece."

"Do they know that?"

She simply squints her eyes at me. "You should be ashamed."

"I have no remorse."

"Where is Anna?"

"She wanted some time for herself," I sigh, feeling like I should have insisted more.

"It must be hard for her."

"Yeah..."

"I know it's hard for you too," she smiles, patting me on the shoulder.

"He was annoying but he didn't deserve to die - ugh, stop acting like you're not sad too," I groan, picking her already packed bags from her room.

"I am," she sighs. "But I've been preparing for this for a while. It doesn't mean it still doesn't hurt but I'm sure Ed wouldn't have wanted us to only remember him by his death."

I simply hum, remembering what Anna has told me about keeping a person alive by their memory - a person only truly dies when they're forgotten.

"Do you know what his plans for burial were? I'm guessing he has no one else to provide them."

"A calm traditional one, it was already arranged."

"By him?" She nods her head. "Imagine knowing you're going to die and having to plan your own funeral."

"It happens often, it's called being old."

"Are you already planning yours?" I ask with a hint of humor.

"No, I'll leave that to you."

"How kind."

We stop for a while at the reception to say our goodbyes, and to hear all the fake condolences you'd expect from people that probably don't care.

"And his will?" I ask once we're finally walking to the car.

"Most of the saved money he had went to his medical procedures and hospital stay but he did mention a lake house."

"I'm guessing that'll go to Anna?"

"Let his body at least go cold before you think about vacation, Daniella," she says opening the door to the passenger's side. "But yes, I don't see who else it'd otherwise go to."

"I'm just seeing it through the good side - like he wanted to, right?"

"You never change."

After arriving home and watching the very emotional reencounter between my mom and Slippers, it somehow almost felt like everything is back to normal, except that now we're in Phoenix, not Flagstaff.

We originally moved here so my mom could have better care for her cancer, and because my dad also had a house here but now moving back doesn't really seem like an option. Mom didn't say anything about it yet, she knows I'd want to stay because of Anna - and my new job, of course... Mainly because of Anna, fine.

The process of calling her seems almost unconscious, it's a bit late but I know she's awake.

She picks up almost immediately. "Hey, my little ray."

I internally groan at the pet name but I'm glad she's fine enough to act like she usually does. "Hello, my snugglepuff," I joke back with the wackiest pet name I could possibly think of.

"I actually prefer sugar tits."

"Thought you'd like something sweeter," I say making her chuckle. "How are you doing?"

"I have this strange feeling of sadness and at the same time relief that he's no longer suffering."

"I feel the same..."

"How's Lucia?"

"Surprisingly well, she's in her room rebounding with Slippers."

"Then, can you come over?" she asks almost in a whisper.

"Yes!" I say immediately sitting up on the bed. "I mean, yes, of course. I'm coming," I try to play it off but to no use, she's already chuckling from the other side of the line.

"I'm waiting."

When I parked my car in her driveway she was already there waiting for me in her dancing pigs pajamas that, for some reason, I find weirdly cute. Especially those shorts that were a tad too short. I also didn't bother dressing out of my pajamas, I'm probably going to sleepover anyway.

She hugs me tightly before I could so much as say anything.

"So you missed me after all," I say hugging her back immediately.

She hums in my neck. "Potato didn't give me the cuddles I needed."

"Oh, so that's why."

"Come on in," she says, already pulling me inside by the hand.

"Did you tell your dad - about Ed?"

"Yeah, he was sad but didn't seem surprised," she says, opening the door to her room.

I lay down on her bed, careful to not scare her cat that was sleeping at the end of it, opening my arms so she could lay on top of me. This is really the only comfortable position we found to sleep together since her bed is small, and Anna likes to sleep like a starfish.

"I thought I wanted to be alone but... I really don't," she says, letting herself fall into my arms and resting her head on my chest.

"That's ok," I whisper, stroking her hair.

"I also didn't want to be a burden, I'm sorry for calling you here so late at night."

"You're not a burden, there's nothing I wanted more than to be here with you."

I hold her tighter as I feel her slowly drowse off, the last thing I remember is Potato climbing on top of us and laying down on Anna's back.