Entry 3: Stalking Preston

Last night was eventful.

I think I finally put myself on Preston's map. It's so crazy because the night started off as shitty as most of my days go.

Since it was Friday we had a home football game to cheer for. That meant being in the same 10 meter radius as Drake so you can probably guess, I was pretty sour about it.

When we stood in formation to welcome the football players onto the field, I was the closest to them in their huddle. Drake couldn't stop looking at me but not in a good way. He kept smirking and scoffing all snidely, trying to psych me out or something.

Moments like those make me want to quit cheerleading. It used to be fun having a boyfriend on the football team. Traveling together for away games, practicing at the same time, cheering for someone and not just the team as a collective.

Now he was just my daily tormentor.

It sucked.

When the players ran by, he actually knocked into me. He played it off like it was an accident but the girls knew it was on purpose. I fell over into a thick muddy spot getting clumps of wet dirt all over my hands and knees.

He is really such an asshole. I mean, who the hell knocks over a 5'1", 105 pound girl while in a full set of football pads?

An asshole, that's who!

After I went to the bathroom to wash myself off, I ran to the track as quickly as possible. I tried to sneak in respectfully at the end of the national anthem. I filled the gap in the formation where I normally stood and we began with our typical cheers. I scanned the crowd looking for any sign of my parents. As usual, they hadn't come. As much as I hoped they would, I knew they were still too embarrassed to show their faces at any of my school events. I brought it up to my mom one time begging her to come to my game but she said it was my own fault she can't come.

Talk about victim blaming.

As my eyes settled on a random spot in the crowd for our next cheer, I spotted him! It was Preston! Preston Dunn was at a football game!

You might not understand what a big deal this was but he NEVER goes to our games. He doesn't go to any school sanctioned events when I think about it. I've never seen him at a sports game, fundraiser, art show, science fair, or even a dance. But last night he was there! At the game!

He was sitting pretty close to us. With an older man that I assumed was his dad, he sat lower in the bleachers. He was barely off center from my line of vision. During our brief down time, I discreetly pointed him out to the girls. We squealed in excitement when Leah came up with a great idea.

"Let's see if we can get his attention with a basket toss!"

I smiled and agreed giddily.

"Nothing crazy though! If I mess up, I'll never live beyond the embarrassment."

Not that falling on my face in front of a crowd would be the most embarrassing thing I've ever done.

My stunt group agreed as we gathered on the track. The four of us did a small cheer ourselves as we came together for the stunt at the end. I stepped into the girls hands and placed my hands on their shoulders as they dipped me down. With a large spring back up, I took flight. I got so much height I was able to execute a hitch kick showing off my flexibility. I finished off with a twist on the way back down into their arms. As the girls cradled me successfully, the crowd cheered encouragingly.

Preston and his dad definitely noticed as his dad was clapping along with everyone else. Preston and I even made eye contact for a brief second. I could see the fascination in his face with his raised eyebrow but the look left as quickly as it came. I had definitely impressed him but it didn't feel like enough.

"Guys, I don't think we left a big enough impression," I groaned.

Preston was a tough egg to crack. A stupid cheerleading stunt wasn't going to make him fall head over heels for me, I knew that much. But damn, why did he have to look away so fast?

"Ugh, why does Preston have to be so-"

Leah was then cut off by a small voice I had heard only a few times before. But what this freshman said was almost bone chilling.

"Preston? Are you guys talking about my brother, Preston?"

HER BROTHER!!

This girl was his sister and she was on the squad! I could've died from embarrassment as the other girls surrounded her.

"Preston Dunn is your brother?"

"You're Preston's sister?!"

"How did we not know this!?"

Things like that were said a mile a minute.

Her name is Alyssa. She's totally cute and looks exactly like him. She has the same colored hair and the same eyes. They both look like their dad but for a girl who looks like her dad, she's still totally pretty.

My jaw nearly hit the floor as the girls were spilling our big plan to Alyssa about how we were going to make her older brother fall in love with me. I was mortified.

"You really like my brother?" She asked, semi-disgusted.

I nodded my head slowly, still trying to register the fact that this girl was the key. She was his sister! She lived in the same house as him! She had all the information I needed to penetrate that boy's impenetrable mind.

"Tell us everything you know!" Leah squealed.

I listened carefully as Alyssa started to spill. I mean, this girl was an absolute goldmine on all things Preston Dunn.

"Well I'm pretty sure he didn't want to come here tonight. My dad definitely forced him. As soon as the game is over, he's probably going to The Basement."

"What's that?" I finally forced myself to speak up.

"It's a club downtown. His band plays there almost every Friday night. You have to be 21 to get in but they let Preston in as a performer because he's 18. He plays electric guitar and sings sometimes. I know he writes all of their songs."

"So he's definitely going to be there after the game?"

Alyssa nodded.

"Yeah, all of his best friends are in the band. They all graduated last year. That's why he doesn't hangout with anyone in school."

"Shouldn't he have graduated? He turns 19 soon." Another girl asked.

"Yeah," Alyssa responded. "He had to repeat eighth grade. He missed too much school when our mom died."

•The Basement friday nights

•18 years old (soon to be 19)

•Mother (deceased)

•Held back in eighth grade

•Plays electric guitar

•Has a band

•Songwriter

This was all good information. I took mental notes of everything Alyssa said but was very focused on this club. Something came over me and I felt like I just had to go to this place.

After the game, I convinced Leah as well as Mia and Willow (the two bases of our stunt group) to go to this club, The Basement, with me. We had to take Leah's car of course since my car was out of commission but she didn't mind.

Well she shouldn't mind since I always fill her gas tank.

The whole way there we were nervous about how we would sneak in. We were still wearing our cheerleading uniforms for Christ's sake. Mia said we should just wear our sweatshirts over them so that's exactly what we did. Even if we couldn't get in, we could at least wait outside and see him when he left.

When we got to the city, we struggled to find parking as the lot for the club was full. Eventually, Leah decided to pull into an alley just on the next block. We walked the sidewalk until we were at the back of the building. There were two bartenders smoking outside together. We all hid behind the dumpsters waiting for them to go back inside. They took forever and they just kept talking instead of smoking the damn things. When they finally went inside, Willow used her long track running legs to race to the door before it closed.

She held the door open for us as we snuck inside and found ourselves backstage.

"Look there's Preston!"

We all looked to the stage where Leah was pointing and sure enough, with a guitar slung over his shoulder, he was playing with his band. The song they were playing was like a slower rock song. Almost like a ballad. The lyrics were actually really good but they were sad. Then out of nowhere, Preston stepped up to the mic and began to sing solo.

If we should die before I wake

Here, cry on this cold shoulder

I won't make the same mistake

Fuck this thing called closure

Every day it rips me apart

It's taking all I've got in me

The broken pieces of my heart

You never even said you were sorry

The words hit a little too close to home but I'm not focused on that. Preston's voice is absolutely mesmerizing. It's like deep but not too deep that it ruins his vocal range. It has a hollow sound to it that makes my heart melt. I can't even compare his voice to anyone I've ever heard off the top of my head.

Even writing this now, recalling the way he sang, I want to hear it again and again for the rest of my life.

Nothing could've prepared me for the way I absolutely fell in love with Preston Dunn at that exact moment. The way he looked, his voice, the emotion of the song. It felt like he was feeling everything I'd been feeling these past nine months. Like he could read my mind by singing those lyrics. Like they were written for me.

Unfortunately as I was imagining what our wedding would be like, my dreams were rudely interrupted by a big, burly security guard that approached us.

"You girls are underage." He stated pretty firmly.

"No we're not," Leah lied for whatever reason.

Like be for real girl, we are in our high school cheerleading uniforms and none of us weighs over 115 pounds. Our faces look like 10 year olds compared to the rest of the grown women in the building. We would never convince that man we were 21.

"You need to leave now!" He demands as he ushers us to the back door.

The commotion of us getting caught back stage must've grabbed Preston's attention. He glanced over at all of us, making eye contact with me for a split second. He squinted his eyes, trying to make out who we were but quickly returned to his music. I just wanted to talk to him so badly.

We obviously made it home safe or I would not have been able to write this entry this morning. But ugh, now I can't get Preston off of my mind. Before, trying to win him over felt like a fun little game. Now it feels like my life depends on it.

I want him!

No, I need him!

This is beyond a crush or wanting to beat Drake at his own game. Preston Dunn is the only boy I want. And I want him NOW.