Entry 12: Drake Wants Me Back?

The weirdest thing happened the other night. I think my brain is still trying to process the reality of it all. In the moment, I didn't know if I was dreaming or not. The situation was just too bizarre.

It's a typical Friday night so Preston is at the club as usual. I had a home football game to cheer for so that's where I was at the beginning of the evening. Our team won, continuing the school's undefeated streak so that was nice.

Afterwards, Leah and I got in her car to head home. I used to want to go out to eat or to party on Friday nights. Especially after games. Now, I just hurry home and wait for Preston to call me before bed. That night was only a little bit different in that aspect. I was super hungry from practically starving myself all day and begged Leah to stop by the gas station. Of course I got no pushback when I offered to fill her gas tank.

Once we got there, I ran into the convenience store to grab something to eat. As I walked through the small aisles, scanning for food someone called my name hesitantly.

"Parker..."

I looked over the stand of chips only to come face to face with Drake.

"Ugh," I groaned and rolled my eyes.

"Parker, wait," he grabbed my wrist to stop me from running.

"Drake let go of me or I swear I will scream so loudly-"

"Okay, okay," he said, releasing me.

I began to walk away towards the drinks in the refrigerators. Drake only followed me, annoying me even more. The convenience store was nearly empty with only a couple of clerks and a truck driver making an evening delivery.

"Just hear me out a second," he said.

"What?!" I snapped.

Drake looked around. I guess he was making sure no one could hear him because what he said next was shocking.

"I just- I miss you, okay?" He whispered.

I blinked a couple of times in bewilderment.

"Are you kidding me?" I scoffed.

"No, Parker. I'm sorry, okay. Let's just forget everything and just be nice to each other again.."

"Sorry? Sorry for what, exactly? Sorry for lying about us to everyone? Saying you broke up with me? Saying that we had sex? For harassing me? Sorry for sending my naked pictures to the entire school? Sorry for shoving Elizabeth in my face-"

"That's not fair! You parade around everywhere with Preston Dunn! Bringing him to practice and everything. You don't think that's shoving things in my face?"

"Leave Preston out of it," I folded my arms. "He's got nothing to do with anything between us."

"He does when he thinks he's dating my girl."

"I'm not your girl," I cringed. "I broke up with you. At least one of us remembers it correctly."

"You never gave me a chance to explain," Drake kept going on and on.

"Explain?"

"Yeah. I tried to contact you for weeks after everything blew up and you totally ignored me. I never sent those pictures. I was playing music in the locker room when one of the guys asked for my password to change the song. He saw the photos in my messages and sent them to the football group chat. I didn't know until you called me freaking out."

This was all news to me. When everything happened with the photos, I never gave Drake the chance to try to defend himself. I pinned him as guilty immediately. He was right. I also ignored him for weeks after breaking up with him.

"Even if I choose to believe that's true, nothing you say can make up for how you've treated me this semester."

"I know. I've been a total dick. I was just mad at you for breaking up with me at first. Then I saw you and Preston and I got jealous and angry. I know what I did was wrong but you really hurt me."

He could tell I was processing everything he was saying. Then Drake did something else unexpected... He took my hands and held them. I couldn't help but look up and try to read his face. Was he bullshitting? I couldn't tell. He looked sincere enough but he was so good at lying.

"Parker, come on. I love you. I've always loved you and I never stopped. Just end whatever you have going on with Dunn and we can go back to being us again."

Before I could give my answer, my name was called yet again.

"Parker!" I looked over to see Leah with her arms crossed and sporting a look that could kill.

I dropped Drake's hands immediately and walked away.

"Just think about it Parker!"

He called after me as I grabbed Leah.

"What the hell was that?" She asked.

"Nothing," I hurried. "Just typical Drake pulling mind games."

I didn't tell Leah anything Drake said no matter how much she asked. That conversation didn't need to leave the convenience store because it didn't mean anything. The only person I felt guilty about not telling was Preston. I couldn't tell if it was something I should tell him or not. I had no intentions of breaking up with Preston or getting back together with Drake so why did I feel so guilty.

When Preston finally called me that night it was late. If he didn't call right when he did, I probably would've passed out and missed it.

"Hey," I said, picking up the phone.

"What's up?"

"Nothing much. I was just waiting for you to call." I said while trying to hide my yawn. "How was the club?"

"The same. But I've got some good news."

"What?"

"Elijah said he could get you and Leah some fakes."

I smiled to myself. Preston was so thoughtful. Not only getting one for me but for Leah too so I wouldn't be alone. He was always thinking ahead.

"Thanks, babe," I gushed.

Then it hit me. That was the first time I had called him that! I almost died as I put the phone down momentarily. I gained my composure and picked it up again.

"I'm sorry," I chuckled, "I didn't know if I could call you that or not."

"It's fine."

I couldn't really tell if it was fine or not. I rolled my eyes at Preston's lifeless expression. I decided I'm never calling him by a pet name ever again until he calls me one first.

"Thanks for looking into the ID's for us" I tried to kill the silence.

"No problem. How was your game tonight?"

"Pretty good. The boys won but I couldn't care less. I landed a pop up tuck. I wish you were there to see it."

"I have no idea what that is."

"It's like a basket toss but with a tuck flip. I can show you at practice."

"Cool," he said.

I didn't know what to say after that and began to get a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. I wish Preston was more verbal. More emotional, even. He was always so blasé and unconcerned. He was perfect in every possible way. He did everything for me. But I couldn't help but compare him to Drake. They were like two different sides of the same coin.

Drake used to pour his feelings out to me. Similar to how he did that night. He would tell me how pretty I was, how much he cared about me, he would call me pet names, he was super affectionate verbally. All of this would usually culminate in him wanting something in return but still, it felt good to be complimented and to feel wanted.

Preston was so quiet and almost cold sometimes. It was like he knew we weren't supposed to be together but was going through the motions of being a perfect guy. He rarely told me I was pretty, he never told me how he was feeling, he never called me things like "baby" or "sweetheart".

Preston was almost unfeeling in a verbal way. But the way he expressed himself physically. It was like nothing I'd ever experienced before. He made me want more than what he ever offered. He teased me for sport and kissed me with influence. But still, it would be nice to hear him say more than "cool" and "okay" all the time.

"Did Drake give you any trouble tonight?" He asked.

This pulled me out of one deep thought and sucked me right into another. Do I tell him? Do I not tell him?

"No," I started... "not at the game anyway."

"What does that mean?" Preston asked.

"Well I kind of saw him at the quick shoppe. The one at the gas station off Marville Drive. He was there alone after the game and basically asked me to get back together with him."

I tried to laugh it off as some preposterous thing but the line remained silent. I got a bad feeling about this silence though.

"I mean, I didn't say yes or anything. He was probably just messing with me."

"And if he wasn't?" Preston finally spoke up.

"What do you mean? He was clearly just joking or being an asshole."

"But what if he meant it?"

Preston sounded angry. I could make that out clear enough.

"Do you want to be with him?" He asked firmly.

"No," I laughed nervously. "Drake has done nothing but make my life miserable."

"So it has nothing to do with me?"

"It does, Preston. I told him that. I told him that you and I were together."

"Am I the only thing standing in your way from getting back together with him?"

"No," I insisted.

I didn't know where this hostility was coming from. When I said I wished he would show some feelings more often, I didn't mean anger.

"Whatever Parker."

"Preston?" I asked, now feeling hurt.

"I have to go."

Before I could say anything else, Preston hung up on me.

I texted him again, asking him if I would see him on Saturday and he never replied. He never showed up the next day either to hangout like we planned. I texted him Saturday and today and still no reply. He was ignoring me. I never realized how frustrating it was until now. I texted, called, left messages and nothing. For someone so hell bent on not sharing a single emotion, Preston's feelings were showing. He was angry. He was angry with me for no reason! I don't think he's being fair.