S1 E13: Death Inc. Pt. 6

Silver Heart (Present Day) 

The soft ticking of the clock could be heard echoing in the silent cell. It reminded me I had survived over three hours of beatings, but I wasn't sure if I would make it the last fifteen minutes to midnight. Yes, they had lost interest in pummeling me, but the damage was extensive. My abdomen was slowly swelling with blood, my broken ribs scrapped against my wheezing lungs, and my body ached under all the broken bones and bruises.

I called for help and yelled until my voice cracked… Very unlike me, but no one had come. No one cared for the young prisoner, the notorious ex-mobster. Perhaps, fitting karma for the damage I inflicted on others during those drugged-out years, but not so fitting as to why they were bribed to do this.

The officer's personal vendetta had gone too far. Disregarding orders and inflicting a broken nose did not call for a full beatdown. I didn't deserve to die for something that insignificant. Other things in my past… Yeah, I deserve death, but not for a broken nose.  

“The kid’s a lot tougher than he looks. Wonder where he learned to fight and take a punch?” Miguel pondered aloud, standing at the toilet-sink combo washing the blood off his hands. 

Only the police know who I really am. Most low-level thugs like them wouldn't know my face. They would only feel the pain I gave them. Or if they did, I'd toucher my image out of their minds; make them go insane. I only gave the more important people the privilege of knowing my looks... Or my bed partners.

I coughed up more blood, pain searing through my body, but I had no tears left to shed. The door to a dark thought presented itself... 

The wish to die… The comfort of the void. The loss of pain for the price of my mortal coil, but that might open me up to eternal torture and damnation. I wasn't exactly a saint during this life. Wonder what kind of hell I'll end up in? Would I get to say hi to my mom before I endured the fire for my sins? Fuck, listen to this shit. I'm an atheist and I'm wondering if God and the Devil exists when I only have a few moments before I learn the truth. Then again, I bet everyone is like this in the end; they wonder what's next and what they did to deserve it...

“Dunno, but I doubt he’ll survive the night. You don’t think they’ll add a murder charge, do you?” Lynell commented from the bench, wiping his bloody knuckles on his shirt. 

“Nah, earlier I overheard that he roughed up one of those pigs. They'll write it off as suicide or some shit if he dies. Less taxpayer money,” Miguel explained, trying to wash some of the blood out of the bottom of his shirt.  

I promised Cas that I would never make the wish to die again… But I am in so much pain... 

I could hear the small beeping of a watch striking midnight through the closed door. Sounds suddenly leaked through as if some magic were dispelling itself.  

How strange. Here I thought the closer to death you were, the harder it was to hear, and yet I can hear every sound...  Maybe that' why they encouage people to say goodbye.

I craned my neck to look out the barred window, hoping I could at least see one last full moon before I died. My last wish must have been heard by the universe as the clouds removed themselves in response. It was breathtaking. I have always loved the moon, but tonight it seemed to pulse in time to my slowing heart.  

My last Full Moon… 

Silver Heart (Present Day: Jan 5, 2015) 

It was dark and peaceful. I could no longer feel the hard concrete underneath me. It had been replaced by something soft and... Fragrant.  

“Silver…” a woman's voice cooed sadly.  

Opening my eyes, I discovered soft grass and flowers that tickled my face in the light breeze. The flower's odd glow fascinated me, and I reached out in curiosity, only to find my skin was a smooth, tawny color like it had been in my youth. Its deep complexion showed not even a hint of my albino curse. I pulled some of my hair forward to find the rich raven color it was before I was… Before that sickening event happened. Suddenly, I realized I was looking at my hair and hand with both of my eyes… I wasn't blind in my right eye anymore...  I was so confused. I could only vaguely remember what I saw last...

“Silver…” A woman's voice cooed again, as a pair of small copper-toned feet came into my view. I looked up to discover the voice and feet belonged to none other than… 

“Amme… Is that really you?” I breathed out in shock.  

How? How could my mother be standing before me? She's been dead for years... 

She looked healthy and beautiful in her simple white gown. Her honey eyes were filled with worry and confusion as her raven hair glowed against the cloudy blue sky… That held an endless blackhole where the sun should have been. She crouched down in front of me and put a warm hand on my face. 

“You can’t be here, yet.” 

“What do you mean? Where’s ‘here’?” I questioned her, confused. 

“You haven’t done what needs to be done. I made a promise--a deal to escape. My sin that brought you to the realms... You carry such a heavy burden and I didn't care back then. How cruel of me, but I have the chance to at least make some of my sins right. Even if the Gods forgave me, this will help me forgive myself,” she mournfully explained, standing up. I followed her lead and scrambled to my feet… Strangely, I wasn't in pain and there was no blood underneath me.  

What happened? How did I heal and get here?  I know it was something red and talking about... Um, a note or something like that?

“I don’t understand. What sins? Are they the same sins you mentioned when you died? What did you do? What burden do I have?”  

“I will give you a taste of your gift and send help,” she replied, nodding to herself, ignoring my desperate questions. 

“What are you talking about?!” I begged in desperation, feeling the familiar red burning seep into my eyes. Fear crept into my heart as my mind raced with possibilities.  

She's supposed to be dead, and she won't give me a straight answer, just a bunch of riddles. Am I hallucinating? Am I dreaming? Am I... Am I dead?

“One day you’ll understand…” She sadly smiled, raising her arm to point a glowing finger at me. A blast of air spewed forth from the tip of her glowing finger. The air molded into a giant transparent wolf that charged at me, teeth bared, faster than I could react, faster than I could even think.   

“Ugh!” I exclaimed as the wolf collided with me, forcing itself to be absorbed into my body. The burning red of my eyes vanished and was replaced by an odd cooling sensation. A primal, wild urge filled my heart, making it race faster than I thought possible. It gave birth to a yellow glow that reflected off my bangs that I used to hide my once blind eye.  

The force of merging with the wolf shot me off my feet and over a previously unknown cliff behind me. As I fell, I could see my mother's calm yet determined face staring over the edge. It offered me no comfort, only confusion and sorrow.

 A bitter cold gripped my bones, enticing painful screams from my lungs as my white outfit became tattered and gray. My scream echoed in the darkness but was soon joined by others' mournful cries. All around me, I saw people falling. Some looked human, some flickered between humans and what I could only describe as monsters, some had broken wings, and some looked decayed. A phrase from the bible repeated in my head… 

For God did not spare angels when they sinned, but cast them into Hell and committed them to chains of gloomy darkness to be kept until judgment...