CHAPTER NINETEEN

"It was the year 1825. I was a meager twenty-four years old, a peasant scratching out a life, or rather, a barely-there existence, in the sprawling grime of London. My parents were long gone, claimed by some fever or another, leaving me to fend for myself. Starving on the streets was my reality, scrounging for odd jobs, anything to secure my next, often only, meal.

Then Nigel found me. I remember the night day vividly. I was slumped in a filthy alley, the stench of refuse clinging to me like a second skin. He offered me a job, promises of a better life dancing on his tongue. Cynicism was ingrained in me, and I was sure he was lying. Another charlatan looking to exploit the desperate. But desperation gnawed harder than doubt, so I went with him anyway.

He led me to the river, the Thames a murky ribbon reflecting the feeble moonlight. Confusion prickled at me. Why the river? Why in the dead of night? I was about to bolt, to chalk it up to another near-death experience, when he grabbed me. The world tilted, and then, a searing pain erupted in my neck. His teeth. I felt the sharp, undeniable puncture of his teeth sinking into my flesh.

Panic surged. I tried to fight him off, but he was impossibly strong. My strength, already depleted by starvation, was useless against him. I stumbled, barely able to stand. Then, as suddenly as it began, he stopped. He released me, letting me collapse onto the hard ground. He sat beside me then, his face an unreadable mask in the dim light. He spoke of beauty, of a life beyond my imagining. All I had to do was accept his…'gift.'

Fear, raw and visceral, choked me. He asked if I wanted it. My mind screamed no, but somewhere, deep inside, a sliver of hope flickered. I nodded, a tiny, almost imperceptible movement. He picked me up then, surprisingly gentle, and carried me towards a gaping maw in the embankment - the opening of the sewer. He said it was almost daylight and that this would have to do. At the time, I had no idea what he meant. Then, the pain again. He bit me again, driving agony through my body until blessed oblivion claimed me.

When I woke, I was alone. Utterly, horrifyingly alone in the fetid darkness of the sewer. Rats scurried around me, their beady eyes gleaming in the gloom. But… everything looked different. Despite the pitch blackness, I could see. Not as a human sees in the dark, but clearly, sharply. I could see the fleas crawling on the rats, the tiny dust motes swirling in the slivers of light filtering from somewhere above. And the smell… it was overwhelming, a cacophony of rot and decay so intense it threatened to drown me.

But worst of all, the hunger. It was an agonizing, all-consuming void, far more brutal than anything I had ever experienced on the streets. Then, a scent reached me, a scent so intoxicating, so utterly compelling, that it eclipsed everything else. It was the scent of… life. I followed the scent blindly, like a moth to a flame.

Before I knew it, I had snatched up a rat, its frantic squeals lost in the echoing tunnels. I sunk my teeth into its stomach, driven by an uncontrollable urge. I drank it dry. The rat dropped from my numb fingers and I watched it fall to the floor. Disgust and horror washed over me and I threw it down the sewer. My stomach began to churn and before I knew it I was violently throwing what little bit of human food I had left in me."

I stopped, pausing my tale. I looked at Ellie, searching for some reaction on her face. Disgust? Horror? Pity? I saw nothing but a quiet attentiveness. "Go on," she simply said.

Taking a deep breath, I continued, "I was terrified. I had no idea what had happened to me, what I had become. I tried to run for help, to escape this nightmare. But as soon as I stepped out of the sewer, the sunlight felt like fire on my skin. It burned, searing into me. I recoiled, screaming, and stumbled back into the darkness.

I didn't know what I was, not for sure, but I wasn't stupid. Could I be… a vampire? It was absurd. Vampires were just myths, children's stories. But all the symptoms… the hunger, the heightened senses, the aversion to sunlight… they all lined up. I spent weeks, maybe months, lost in the sewer systems beneath the city, a creature of the shadows.

Then, one night, I was visited by a beautiful man. Lucian. He caught me completely off guard, emerging from the darkness like a phantom. But he showed me, with a gentleness I didn't deserve, that we were the same. He showed me I had no need to fear him, that I wasn't alone.

He took me from the underground, from the squalor and the fear. He saved me. He cleaned me, taught me, nursed me back from the brink of madness. He became my father, my brother, my lover. We have been inseparable ever since."

I paused, the words hanging heavy in the air. Lucian. Even the name brought a wave of… something I couldn't quite define. Affection? Resentment? A complex mixture of both, undoubtedly.

Ellie remained silent, processing. The city lights danced in her eyes, reflecting the chaotic swirl of emotions I knew must be raging within her.

"Lucian taught me control," I continued, my voice losing some of its steadiness. "He taught me how to feed without killing, how to move in the shadows, how to blend. He… he gave me a purpose when I had none."

I left out the darker details. The initial hunts, the intoxicating rush of bloodlust, the struggle to maintain a semblance of humanity when every instinct screamed for something more primal. Those parts were mine, and I wasn't ready to share them. Not yet.

"We traveled the world, learned different languages, different cultures. We amassed wealth, influence. We became… powerful." The word tasted like ash in my mouth. Power had always felt like a gilded cage.

"But how… how did you stay hidden for so long?" Ellie asked, breaking the silence.

"We move. Often. Every few decades, we reinvent ourselves, disappear, and reappear somewhere new. We create new identities, new fortunes. Lucian is meticulous. He anticipates everything." I paused, a bitter smile tugging at my lips. "Almost everything."

"And Crimson?" she asked, her voice hesitant.

"A playground," I said, the word clipped. "A place for us to indulge, to forget. A place to feed without drawing too much attention. Lucian and I own it, of course. We own many such establishments across the globe."

I watched her carefully, gauging her reaction. She was still holding the glass of water, though the ice had long since melted. Her fingers traced patterns on its surface, a nervous habit.

"So, everything… everything you told me about yourself, about being a businessman…"

"Wasn't a lie," I interrupted. "It was just… incomplete. I am a businessman. We both are. We have to be. It's how we survive."

I took a step closer, closing the distance between us. "Ellie, I understand if you're terrified. If you want to leave. I wouldn't blame you."

My heart twisted as I said the words, even though I knew they were true. She deserved to be free of this. Of me.

She looked up at me, her eyes searching. "But… why did you tell me? Why didn't you just… compel me to forget?"

The question hung in the air, a stark reminder of the power I possessed, the power I hadn't used on her.

"Because I couldn't," I admitted, my voice barely a whisper. "I… I wanted you to know. I wanted you to choose."

"Choose what, Kaelen?" she asked, her voice filled with a heartbreaking mix of confusion and hope.

"Choose whether or not you want to be a part of this," I said, my voice raw with vulnerability. "Choose whether or not you can accept me. The real me."

I braced myself, prepared for the inevitable rejection. But it didn't come.

Instead, she took another step closer, her hand reaching up to cup my face. "And what if I do, Kaelen?" she asked, her voice trembling. "What if I choose to stay?"

A wave of disbelief washed over me. "Then… then I'll tell you everything," I said, my voice thick with emotion. "Everything about Lucian, about our past, about the darkness that lives inside me. And I'll let you decide if you still want me."

I leaned down, my forehead resting against hers. "But you have to understand, Ellie. This isn't a fairy tale. It's a life of secrets and danger. A life where I can never truly be normal."

She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. "I know," she said, her voice barely audible. "But… I don't think I want normal."

Then, she tilted her head back and looked at me, her eyes shining with a newfound resolve. "Tell me everything, Kaelen. I want to know everything."

And so, I began. I told her about Lucian's ambitions, his network of power, the enemies we had made over the centuries. I told her about the constant fear of exposure, the sacrifices we had to make to maintain our secrecy.

As I spoke, the city lights seemed to dim, fading into the background as our world narrowed, focusing only on us. And for the first time in centuries, I felt a flicker of hope, a possibility that maybe, just maybe, I wasn't condemned to exist alone in the shadows forever.

Maybe, with Ellie by my side, I could finally find a reason to embrace the darkness, instead of simply enduring it. But only time would tell if my hope was justified, or just a cruel illusion. Lucian wouldn't be happy about any of this. That I knew for certain.