showerhead

So yeah. Rose Cookies.

This isn’t your usual power fantasy or deep character study. It’s just… something that came out of my brain—and maybe yours too.

Keanu, the guy you’re reading about, isn’t really a person. He doesn’t have a personality, no tragic backstory, no moral compass. He’s just there. Walking, talking, smiling. And then suddenly—violence. Out of nowhere.

Why? Because sometimes, life just pushes people. You keep swallowing the little stuff—awkward silences, fake laughs, getting ignored, getting talked over, being the nice one. Over and over. And then one day, something in you snaps… or at least, wants to.

Not gonna lie, a lot of these scenes are born from real stories. Not the stabbings, obviously, but the feelings. Stuff I’ve gone through. Stuff people have told me. That quiet, helpless frustration when you just sit there thinking, “Why do I keep letting this happen?” And maybe, for a second, your brain throws out the worst possible solution just to see how it feels.

Keanu is that. He’s not a person. He’s an impulse. He’s what happens when all that built-up patience finally tips.

Some chapters will be hilarious. Some will be disturbing. Some will make zero sense. That’s intentional. Life doesn’t stick to genre rules, so neither does this.

Thanks for reading. Or hate-reading. Or doomscrolling (I sincerely doubt that) your way into this mess. I’m writing it like a fever dream and trying to surprise myself, so if it gets weird, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

– Sincerely,
Showerhead

Rose Cookies

Keanu spawned on a rooftop. No reason. Just vibes.

"Damn," he muttered, looking at the haystack below. "Ezio really risked scoliosis for this?"

He jumped anyway. The hay didn't cushion. It hurt. He groaned.

Cesare Borgia was holding a wine goblet and being evil down below, yelling something about "divine bloodlines" and "righteous conquest" and probably MLMs.

Keanu landed like a dropkick of ADHD fury.

"Keanu," said Keanu. "Just Keanu."

The knife was already in Cesare's kidney. Then his shoulder. Then his shin for no reason.

"You know what you did," Keanu hissed, stabbing again. "You increase my rent. You made me redownload Duolingo. You're the reason game of thrones went to shit. You're the reason GRRM hasn't released Winds of Winter yet, rest in hell bitch."

Cesare collapsed dramatically like a theater kid. Keanu dabbed on his body. Literally. Dabbed.

He grabbed Cesare's stupid feather hat, put it on backwards, and shouted:

"I just beat the boss fight without even doing the side quests!"

Guards rushed in and screamed "Assasino, Assasino". Keanu parkoured off a nun.

"Requiescat in Yo Mama" he yelled mid-air.

Then vanished into the haystack again.

Capu capu capu cappuccino assasino, assasini cappuccini