Chapter 3: The Shattering Moment

The courtyard was bathed in the soft glow of the afternoon sun, a golden warmth seeping through the rustling leaves. The scent of freshly cut grass mingled with the faint aroma of blossoms from the cherry trees lining the stone pathways. Students milled about, some engaged in lazy conversation, others buried in books, but to Xu Lian, the world had shrunk to the small space she shared with Lin Yiran beneath the shade of their favorite tree.

Xu Lian rested her chin on her palm, staring down at the intricate patterns carved into the wooden table. Her long, dark hair cascaded over her shoulders, shifting slightly as a gentle breeze passed by. Across from her, Lin Yiran sat with her arms folded, her perfectly tailored uniform crisp and pristine, her beauty as untouchable as ever. Xu Lian had long gotten used to the stares Yiran received—the way people spoke about her, the way they longed to be close to her. But to Xu Lian, she was simply Yiran, the girl who had been by her side for as long as she could remember.

"So? Who is it?" Yiran's voice was light, teasing, but her fingers tapped an absent rhythm against the table, a telltale sign of her impatience. "You've been so secretive about this crush of yours, Lian. I deserve to know."

Xu Lian hesitated, a faint flush creeping up her cheeks. "It's not that big of a deal."

Yiran arched a perfect brow. "Not that big of a deal? You've been acting weird for weeks. Come on, spill."

Xu Lian exhaled, her fingers curling around the hem of her skirt. "Fine. It's..." She hesitated, then took a deep breath. "It's Chen Hao."

Yiran went unnaturally still. Her expression remained unreadable, but something in her eyes shifted—something Xu Lian couldn't quite place. For a moment, there was only silence between them, thick and pressing, before Yiran let out a laugh that didn't quite reach her eyes. "Chen Hao? Really?"

Xu Lian nodded, a small, nervous smile tugging at her lips. "He's... nice. Smart. And he's really kind to me."

Yiran's fingers tightened slightly around the edge of the table, her nails pressing into the wood. "Kind? That's all it takes?"

Xu Lian frowned. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Yiran shook her head quickly, the mask of amusement sliding back into place. "Nothing. Just... I didn't expect it to be him, that's all."

Xu Lian tilted her head. "Why not?"

Yiran sighed, looking away for a brief moment before forcing a smile. "No reason. Just surprised. You never really talk about him much."

Xu Lian pursed her lips, twirling a loose thread on her sleeve between her fingers. "That's because I didn't know how to bring it up. I wasn't even sure how I felt at first."

Yiran hummed, tapping a slow, deliberate rhythm on the table again. "And now you're sure?"

Xu Lian hesitated. Was she? There was something warm about the way Chen Hao smiled at her, something safe in the way he spoke. He was easy to be around, and she never had to second-guess his words or feel like she was constantly unraveling emotions she didn't understand.

"I think so," she admitted. "I mean, I want to try. Maybe talk to him more, get to know him better."

Yiran's gaze was unreadable. "So, you're thinking of confessing?"

Xu Lian laughed, leaning back against the bench. "What, are you suddenly my love coach now?"

Yiran shrugged, forcing a casual smirk. "Well, someone has to be. I'm just making sure you're prepared. What if he rejects you?"

Xu Lian rolled her eyes. "Wow, thanks for the confidence boost."

Yiran's smirk softened, something almost vulnerable flickering in her gaze before she glanced away. "I'm just saying. You don't need him."

Xu Lian frowned. "It's not about needing someone, Yiran. I just... I want to try feeling something different."

For a moment, the air between them felt thick with something unspoken. Then, before Xu Lian could say anything more, her phone buzzed violently against the table, the sound cutting through the quiet.

She barely glanced at the screen before answering. "Hello?"

A sharp voice on the other end made her stomach twist. "Miss Xu? You need to come to the hospital immediately. Your mother—"

She didn't wait to hear the rest.

Xu Lian shot up from her seat so fast that the bench scraped against the ground, her heart pounding in her chest. The phone nearly slipped from her fingers.

"Lian?" Yiran's voice was concerned, but Xu Lian barely registered it.

"I have to go." Her voice trembled, and before Yiran could stop her, she turned and ran.

She didn't look back.

Lin Yiran watched as Xu Lian ran, her long hair streaming behind her, disappearing down the stone-paved path that led out of the courtyard. The sound of her hurried footsteps faded too quickly, leaving behind a ringing silence that pressed against Yiran's ears.

She should move—should call after her, chase her even—but her body remained frozen, her fingers still curled around the edge of the table where Xu Lian had just been sitting, her warmth still lingering in the air.

A hospital call. Something had happened to her mother.

Yiran's breath came shallowly, her chest tightening. Of course, she needed to be with her mother right now. Of course, she had to go. But that didn't stop the sinking feeling in Yiran's stomach, the way the words from their conversation just moments before still looped inside her mind.

Chen Hao.

Yiran clenched her hands into fists, her nails digging into her palm. Xu Lian liked Chen Hao. She wanted to confess to him. She had smiled—soft and unsure, the kind of smile she rarely showed anyone—as she spoke about him. That smile was what made something in Yiran's chest twist painfully.

She should have seen it coming.

Xu Lian had been acting differently lately, distracted, distant in ways Yiran hadn't been able to understand. She had assumed it was just stress, maybe exhaustion from school. But no—it was because she had been thinking about someone else, about him.

A bitter taste settled in Yiran's mouth.

Chen Hao was nothing special.

She had seen the way he looked at Xu Lian in passing, polite and friendly, but he had never burned the way Yiran had, never watched her with the weight of years spent longing. He didn't know how Xu Lian chewed on the inside of her cheek when she was nervous, or how her fingers traced invisible patterns on the rim of her notebook when she was deep in thought. He hadn't been there for the countless moments of laughter, of shared secrets, of quiet nights spent together where the world felt like theirs alone.

Yiran inhaled deeply, forcing the storm inside her to settle. This wasn't the time to dwell on such things. Xu Lian was hurting right now, and all Yiran could do was wait.

And waiting had never been her strong suit.

The next day, Yiran walked through the school hallways, barely paying attention to the voices around her. Her thoughts were elsewhere, replaying the moment Xu Lian had left, the panic in her voice, the way she hadn't even looked back.

She wanted to call her. She wanted to check if Xu Lian was okay, if her mother was alright. But something stopped her. Was it hesitation? Fear? Or perhaps the knowledge that she wasn't the one Xu Lian needed right now.

Yiran's grip on her bag strap tightened.

She needed to do something—anything—to regain control over the situation, to anchor herself before she drowned in these feelings she couldn't quite name.

And then she saw him.

Chen Hao.

He was standing by the lockers, chatting with a couple of friends, his face lit up in a relaxed smile. There was nothing remarkable about him—just another boy, just another classmate. And yet, Xu Lian had chosen to look at him. To think about him. To want him.

Yiran's jaw tightened as she slowed her steps, watching him carefully.

This wasn't over.

She wouldn't let it be.

Xu Lian trudged along the cracked pavement, her school bag feeling heavier than usual against her shoulder. The early morning air was crisp, but it did little to ease the throbbing in her head or the weight pressing down on her chest. She had barely slept last night, her thoughts tangled in a restless loop of worry, frustration, and fear.

Her mother was still in the hospital.

The doctors had said she was stable. That was supposed to be reassuring, wasn't it? But stable wasn't the same as okay. Stable wasn't the same as safe. Her mother was still lying in a hospital bed, her face pale, her breathing weak, her hands trembling when Xu Lian had squeezed them before she left. And then there were the bills.

Xu Lian exhaled sharply, shoving her hands into the pockets of her jacket. The numbers the hospital had given her yesterday swam in her mind, cold and unforgiving. Her mother had always worked so hard, sacrificing so much just to keep their small apartment and put food on the table. They had always been just barely scraping by, but now… Now, they were sinking.

A lump formed in her throat.

How was she going to pay for this?

She could work more hours at the convenience store, but even then, it wouldn't be enough. They didn't have savings. They didn't have anyone to turn to for help. The sheer helplessness of it all made her stomach churn, an overwhelming sense of dread pooling in her gut.

Why did life always have to be so cruel?

Xu Lian clenched her fists, her nails digging into her palms as she quickened her pace. She didn't want to think about it right now. Not here. Not when she was on her way to school, where she was supposed to pretend like everything was fine. She needed a distraction—something, anything—to take her mind off the crushing reality waiting for her at home.

Maybe she should talk to Yiran.

The thought crossed her mind before she could stop it, and immediately, her steps faltered.

Yiran.

Xu Lian chewed on her bottom lip, her emotions twisting into something even more complicated. Yesterday, she had barely spared a moment to think about their conversation in the courtyard, but now, with everything else pressing down on her, it resurfaced like an aching bruise. She had told Yiran about Chen Hao. About her feelings for him. And Yiran had… acted strange.

Why had she reacted that way?

Xu Lian had known Yiran for years. She had memorized every little shift in her expressions, every subtle sign of what she was feeling. And yesterday, when she had said Chen Hao's name, something had changed in Yiran's face. The teasing smile had been there, but it hadn't reached her eyes. Her voice had sounded normal, but there had been an edge to it, something tight and forced.

Why?

Was she upset about something else? Or…

Xu Lian shook her head. It didn't matter. It wasn't like Yiran had to approve of her feelings. And besides, Yiran had always been overprotective. Maybe she just didn't think Chen Hao was good enough.

A bitter smile tugged at Xu Lian's lips.

That would be ironic, wouldn't it? Considering how perfect Yiran was. Beautiful, intelligent, rich—she had everything Xu Lian could never dream of having. If anything, it should be the other way around. Xu Lian was the one who wasn't good enough to stand beside Yiran.

She sighed, adjusting her bag as she turned the corner onto the path leading toward the school gates.

And then she saw them.

Her breath caught in her throat.

Chen Hao and Yiran.

Standing together beneath the cherry blossom tree near the front of the school.

Close. Too close.

Xu Lian's feet refused to move as she stared, her mind struggling to process what she was seeing. Yiran's hands rested lightly on Chen Hao's shoulders, her head tilted toward him. Chen Hao, in turn, had his arms wrapped around her waist, holding her in an embrace that looked far too intimate to be casual.

Something inside Xu Lian cracked.

It felt as if the world had suddenly shifted beneath her, as if the ground had been ripped away and she was free-falling into an endless void.

No. No, this wasn't…

She blinked rapidly, hoping—praying—that she was seeing it wrong. That it was some kind of misunderstanding. Maybe it was just a friendly hug. Maybe she was reading too much into it. Maybe—

Yiran's fingers curled slightly against Chen Hao's shirt, and he leaned in closer, murmuring something that made her lips quirk upward ever so slightly.

Xu Lian's stomach lurched.

She felt sick.

This wasn't happening.

But it was. And she had no idea what to do.

Her heart pounded painfully against her ribs, each beat sending a fresh wave of anguish crashing through her. Her throat burned. Her vision blurred. A sharp, suffocating pain clawed at her chest, making it hard to breathe, hard to think.

Had she been… stupid? Naïve? Had she misunderstood everything?

She had told Yiran. She had told her how she felt about Chen Hao. And yet—

Xu Lian bit down on her lip so hard she tasted blood.

She couldn't watch this. She couldn't stand here, frozen and pathetic, while the two people she had cared about most in the world shattered her heart without even realizing it.

Before she could stop herself, she turned on her heel and ran.

She didn't know where she was going. She didn't care. She just needed to get away—away from them, away from the school, away from the unbearable pain that threatened to consume her whole.

Her vision swam as hot tears spilled down her cheeks, blurring the edges of the world around her. The sound of her footsteps echoed in her ears, each one a desperate attempt to escape the suffocating weight pressing down on her chest.

She had been so stupid.

For thinking that maybe, just maybe, she could have something for herself. That she could have something good. That someone like Chen Hao might actually look at her the way she had looked at him.

But no.

Yiran had always been the one people noticed. The one people wanted.

And Xu Lian…

Xu Lian was just the girl who was always left behind.