HELLo

BANG BANG BANG!

Three bullets tore through the heads of three monsters. After hitting the wall, each bullet ricocheted, curving midair and lodging itself into another enemy's skull.

"Boom! Wish that bullet hit the head of live-action Snow White," Violet muttered, spinning her gun before aiming at another target.

The other simps grouped up—none of them strong enough to solo fight, so teaming up was their best shot.

"Take this! Rider kick!" one simp shouted as he jumped and unleashed a double kick at the monster.

The monster immediately grabbed both his feet.

"You fell for it, FOOL! Thunder cross split attack!"

"GET LOST!" the monster slapped him hard across the face, sending him crashing to the ground. But then, as if nothing happened, the guy bit a rose (where did he even get that rose?) and sprayed something into the monster's eyes.

"GAHH!!" The monster screamed in pain, clutching its face and glaring at him.

The other simps stared in disbelief.

"Daia!"

He smiled weakly.

"Thorns from a rose infused with H*mon are quite poisonous, aren't they?"

Then collapsed on the spot.

"DAIA-SAN!"

"THIS ISN'T JOJO, DAIAAAA!!!"

"You bastard, I won't let my mating candidate live after pulling that crap! DIE!!" the monster roared, raising a wooden club, aiming to smash him.

"DAIAAAA!!" one simp reached out, trying to stop it.

But before the monster could do anything, a black hole suddenly opened right above its hand.

"GAHHHHH!!!" Screaming in agony, the creature got sucked in instantly.

The simps turned in shock, spotting a guy in a black cloak who had been holding out his hand, now lowering it calmly.

Suddenly, a monster appeared behind the simps, catching them off guard.

"DIE!!"

Clang!

The monster felt its attack hit something solid. Confused, it looked—its targets were completely unharmed.

Despite using full strength, they were perfectly fine. Weird.

The simps looked at themselves in awe, seeing runes floating around them.

"Uhhh, I can't take this much longer…" Kanna muttered, clutching a sword in one hand and her mouth in the other, pale as a ghost.

She then moved the sword, drawing runes that began to swirl around her teammates.

"I feel overflowing power! It's like I'm... A LONE WOLF, AWUUUUU!!!" One simp ripped off his shirt and charged at the monster with wild punches.

"GIHAHAHAAHHAH!!!" Vakoth spun his spear and sliced off the heads of two monsters in a bloodbath, then continued his slaughter.

"...kinda unhinged," Kai commented, watching everyone act like slaughtering monsters was just another day at the office.

He then glanced at Irilia, standing at the heart of the battlefield.

"IT'S A WOMAN, A WOMAN!" one monster screamed, pointing at her.

"YUCK! A WOMAN! SHE MUST DIE! RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW!!"

"DON'T LET HER STAY IN OUR MASCULINE PARADISE!"

The entire pack of monsters charged at her, ready to go all in.

"Disgusting," she said flatly—and vanished.

"?!"

A hand appeared in front of one monster's face—grabbing it.

Then slammed it into the ground.

Its blood immediately froze upon contact.

She conjured an ice spear and hurled it into another monster. The instant it struck, the creature froze completely.

She dashed in and shattered it with a brutal kick.

"NOOOO, MY BROTHERRRR!! YOU BUTTFACE!"

She spat at another monster's leg, instantly freezing it.

"?!!"

Then her foot got encased in jagged ice—and she kicked him right in the crotch.

Crack.

"AGHHHHH!!"

Oof. You could hear the banana split.

She grabbed the monster's head.

"Die."

And ripped it clean off. Irilia didn't flinch, didn't even blink, as she murdered it without mercy.

"…holy shit, does everyone kill like a damn psychopath around here?"

As the battle raged on, the number of monsters steadily dwindled.

One by one, they fell—slashed, shot, frozen, or simply beaten to death with brutal efficiency.

Screams echoed, blood splattered, and the stench of death hung thick in the air.

Then one monster, far larger and more grotesque than the others, let out a guttural roar of rage.

Its eyes were wide, bloodshot, veins pulsing with fury.

It scanned the battlefield with hatred—until its gaze landed on someone who hadn't done much.

Kai.

With a hiss, the beast lunged forward and snatched him up like a ragdoll, claws digging into his coat as it raised him above the ground.

"IF NONE OF YOU CARE ABOUT THIS DUDE, THEN I'LL R*PE HIM TO ****!!" the monster bellowed.

"???"

Everyone glanced over, no reaction, not even a blink.

Except one. Kanna's eyes widened.

"Kai!"

Kai, still dangling in the monster's grip, looked around at his indifferent companions and sighed internally.

Wow. Real nice. You guys really don't care about me.

Gritting his teeth, he suddenly jerked forward—slamming his forehead straight into the monster's face.

"GAH!" The beast reeled back in surprise, its grip loosening.

Kai dropped to the ground with a grunt, quickly reaching into his coat and pulling out the Hunchback's Dagger.

Without hesitation, he lunged forward and drove the dagger into the monster's side.

Stab stab stab

The dagger didn't do physical damage—it was never meant to.

But on the fifth strike, the strange aura on dagger began to glow.

The instant death effect had finally triggered.

The monster's eyes bulged. It stumbled back—then froze.

No roar, no cry. It just… toppled over like a puppet with its strings cut.

Kai stared at the body, panting, sweat dripping down his face.

"…It worked," he muttered, barely believing it.

"I'm not hurting somewhere right? Good."

Finally...Finally I had a win...

Even this monster is far weak than the cannibal or Tyler. Still a win...

Later, the group gathered in a half-collapsed ruin nearby to rest.

Bodies of monsters littered the ground around them like grotesque decorations.

Violet stretched her arms with a yawn. "Damn. You really do have the worst luck. It's kinda impressive at this point."

"Shut."

Vakoth sat atop a large boulder, methodically wiping blood off his weapon. The glint in his eyes was still wild.

He glanced down.

"Hey. Green, give me that."

"Me?"

"If not you, then who the fuck I'm talking to?"

Wow super rude...

Kai sigh, looked around and spotted the dented helmet lying in the dirt a few meters away. He stepped toward it—

—but before he could pick it up, the cloaked figure raised a hand.

A miniature black hole formed, sucking the helmet up into the air.

WHAM.

The helmet flew straight into Vakoth's head.

"GAHH—WHAT THE?!" Vakoth roared, clutching his skull.

"YOU GLOOMY LITTLE CUNT!! I SWEAR I'LL SHOVE THAT BLACK HOLE UP YOUR—"

"Silent."

Irilia suddenly raised her hand—signal for silence.

Her eyes narrowed as she stared down a shadowy path at the edge of the ruin.

Kai followed her gaze and felt a chill crawl down his spine.

"W-We're not done yet?" he whispered. He was so done with these twisted-ass monsters.

Then came the sound—heavy, rhythmic footsteps echoing through the dark.

The ground seemed to tremble slightly with each one.

And out from the shadows stepped a massive green-skinned monster, its body covered in scars, muscles bulging like inflated tires.

Oh, and yeah—of course.

Its banana was easily twice the size of the last monster they'd just put down.

"HELLo!" the monster boomed.

…Did it just say hello?

"Oh? You killed all my minions already? That's so mean!" it pointed at them with a dramatic pout, like a toddler who'd just dropped his ice cream.

"They were my mating candidates, y'know! Who am I supposed to breed with now?!"

"…"

Yeah, okay. This was next-level terrifying.

"Wait a sec—are you guys human?" it tilted its head, grinning in twisted curiosity.

"Ummm, well—"

"Yea," the monster interrupted, now smiling ear-to-ear.

"I'm gonna mate with all of you. Doesn't matter if you're women or men, gender won't stop me from reaching your sweet, juicy—"

"…"

"Also my name is Jim Curbank, and that will be your future husband name, remember it bois and girls *twink!"

I swear to god, this thing must be death...