So We're Doing This Now

"What the hell is this?! Why are they all rooting for you when you're obviously a huge bitch?!" Ramona's voice could be heard over the crowd.

"You're a huge bitch!" A crowd member yelled.

"Ramona, sweetie, I'm famous." Envy mocked.

"And hot!" Another fan added. "Wooo!"

"Ramona! Where are you?!" You shouted, rushing through the crowd.

"Y/N?" Ramona said, surprised and holding a hammer.

"Ramona!" You shouted, relieved. "Are you okay? What's going on?"

"I'm fine." Ramona replied. "About to make this bitch into a pancake. Can you watch my back?"

"You got it." You nodded. "You tell me when to tag in."

"Oh, please." Envy rolled her eyes. "Also, are you trying to hit me with a gigantic hammer, or something?"

"Oh... uh... I guess that's not very sporting, is it?" Ramona realized, lowering her weapon. "I just like this hammer."

"You suck! Hammers suck!" A crowd member shouted. "And chains, too!"

"Break her face Ramona and Wyenn!" Wallace's voice shouted. "Break her horsey ol' face!"

"Excuse me?" Envy looked toward Wallace's direction, distracted.

"Who goes first, Y/N?" Ramona whispered.

"I'm fine playing assist for now. Go get her." You whispered back.

- Ramona Flowers with Y/N Rowe as an assist! VS! Envy Adams! Fight! -

With a nod and no more words, Ramona swung her hammer and sent Envy flying through the air.

"No! Face! Face!" Wallace complained, but still cheered.

Envy manged to catch herself and grabbed onto the wall, sliding down it with grace and falling on her feet. "Enough fooling around. I'll send you back to Gideon in a thousand pieces, you slag."

"Watch out, she's a professional!" Wallace comically warned.

"You make me sick! Pretending to be all sweet and nice..." Envy said as she tried to high kick Ramona, which she ducked under. "Well, I know what you're really after!"

"Don't sweat it! Envy's all looks! She's just a pretty-boy!" Wallace shouted.

"I'm not a boy!" Envy corrected, pissed and distracted again.

Ramona slammed her hammer sideways and hit Envy's back, knocking her down. "Y/N!" Ramona yelled.

"Gotcha!" You shouted, rushing to Envy. "Combo extender, here we go!"

And that's what you did, unraveling and covering your chain in neon. You got a few good hits, leaving glowing neon marks on her skin. Then, Ramona hopped next to you and joined in on the combo.

Your hits were noticeably faster, compared to Ramona's slower ones. But still, together you did some damage, and finished the combo with your chain and her hammer hitting Envy away at the same time.

"Not bad, Y/N. You're... actually pretty good." Ramona praised, surprised.

"Thanks. You're not too shabby yourself." You replied, smirking.

"Oh, how cute!" Envy yelled as she rushed and kicked Ramona right in the jaw and sent her crashing to the roof.

"Ramona!" You exclaimed, worried as you light speed ran to catch her before she fell to the ground. And you did.

"Thanks, Y/N..." Ramona said a little taken off guard. "Could you let me down now?"

"Sorry, sorry." You apologized, gently placing her on the floor.

"God, that was hot... But I'll admit, this thing is actually pretty heavy! I'm mildly impressed." Envy commented as she lifted Ramona's hammer. "Anyway... I hope your ex-boyfriends like delicious pancakes. Because that's what you're gonna be!"

"You're getting to her once you go through me." You glared, standing protectively in front of Ramona.

"And a second course! Oh, how fun." Envy mocked, readying her stance. However, just as she was about to strike, a chain wrapped in green glass pulled the hammer away from her. "What?!"

"You're not hurting my friends." Knives said, both her chains unwrapped and covered in her glass.

"Have we met? In other words, who the hell are you and why should I care?" Envy asked, annoyed.

"I don't care if you don't care. And your music isn't even that good anyway! Yes it is..." Knives said that last part quietly.

"Alright, Knives. Show Envy what we Conduits can do!" You cheered, grinning.

"Will. Do." Knives nodded as glass blades formed on the ends of her chains.

- Knives Chau! VS! Envy Adams! Fight! -

Knives swung her chains in circles, launching the blades. Envy ducked under the first and jumped over the second. She then tried to strike Knives with a high kick, but Knives reeled herself under it, pulling on her chains and sliding on the ground.

"Hah!" Knives exclaimed, jumping high and slamming the bladed chains downwards, which Envy barely dodged.

"You..." Envy glared. "That's it. Now you've got my attention. The bad kind of attention!"

Envy pulled on one of Knives' chains, and pulled her closer. As expected, Knives was dragged along with the chain. Once close enough, Envy kicked her right in the face and threw her back.

However, Knives wouldn't go down that easily. She reeled her chains back, and launched them towards Envy again, who dodged the first one, but the second wrapped around her waist.

"Get over here!" Knives yelled, yanking the chain and punched Envy square in her face.

"Ohhh! Nice one, Knives!" You shouted, proud.

"Thanks, Y/N!" Knives grinned.

"I've had it up to here with you!" Envy yelled, taking off the chain around her.

"We are Sex Bob-Omb!" Kim's voice shouted from the stage, dressed as a gothic lolita. "We ae here to make you think about death and get sad and stuff!"

"Shoot, that's my call." You said, waving before running back to the stage.

"What the hell are they wearing?" Knives and Ramona questioned at the same time.

"Go play drums, G'wan!" Stephen said to Kim.

"I know, shut up!" Kim exclaimed, turning to her drums.

"I think we have bigger problems on hand." You pointed out, signaling to Knives and Envy, who were still fighting.

"I got it." Scott said as he jumped from the stage and... touched the back of Envy's knee?

Immediately, Envy got really red, her legs got weak, and fell to the ground, smiling and trembling in... "delight" while making sounds that definitely weren't leaving your head anytime soon.

"Thanks. Uh... nice suit." Ramona awkwardly thanked.

"Oh, no problem. Knives, you're okay, right?" Scott asked.

"I'm more than okay, I feel alive!" Knives replied, wrapping her chains back around her wrists.

"Happens when you use your Conduit powers for the first time." You said, giving her a pat on the back.

"So yeah, like I was saying last night, her weak point's the back of her knees." Scott repeated, looking at the paralyzed Envy.

"What? How does that work?" Ramona questioned.

"Um... Well, whenever we were making out, I would-" Scott explained, only for Ramona to interrupt him.

"Okay, stop right there." Ramona said, holding a hand up.

"You'll pay for this for the rest of your brief life, Pilgrim!" Envy threatened. "Todd, kill them!"

"Oh... about that..." You nervously chuckled, rubbing the back of your head.

"Todd? I haven't seen him since-" Scott began, only for Ramona to interrupt again.

"Yeah, that's funny! Where is he?" Ramona yelled.

"What are you-" Envy started, but was cut off.

"Todd's cheating on you with your drummer, you stupid ho! He's a creep and you're a bitch and you all deserve each other!" Ramona revealed in an angry fit.

"I can confirm! He and Lynette made out while you were at the bathroom at the Ristorante!" You exclaimed, but not angrily, just more so pointing it out. "He's also not vegan, he ate gelato!"

"That's bull! Todd loves me! He'll love me forever!" Envy denied. "He's kind, sensitive, caring, thoughtful, talented, kind, and pure-hearted! We've been best friends since we were eleven!"

"Once upon a time, there was a boy and a girl. They lived as next-door neighbors in a small town called Montreal, and their love was pure as can be."

"But it was not to last. One day, the boy and his family moved away to a distant land of mountains and dairy cows. The girl grew up alone, and never found another she could truly love, though she tried her hardest."

"And then, at last, when all seemed lost, the boy returned. Promising they would never again be apart, the boy displayed his affection in a most remarkable and unprecedented fashion..."

"...are you serious?" Envy asked as she found you visualizing her flashback in neon art.

"Sorry, force of habit... again." You chuckled. "Go on."

"Ahem, as I was saying..." Envy continued.

"Soon enough, the boy had to leave for a faraway school where he could learn the ancient secrets of his people, the Vegans. There on the train platform, the boy and the girl vowed Always To Be True and Never To Waver."

"...And that's how I know he truly loves me and we'll always be together forever and ever!" Envy concluded, and everyone just stared at her weird.

"Envy... it only gives me the teeniest bit of pleasure to say this, but... the thing with the moon? When we were in high school, Todd did the exact same thing for me. He did it for me first." Ramona explained, causing the crowd to gasp.

"It kind of makes sense!"

"Poor ol' Envy Adams!"

"What?" Envy looked confused. "Is that why there are-"

"Two holes in the moon? Um... yeah." Ramona replied.

"Oh, boy... this is gonna go bad real fast..." You sighed.

And Envy's face of utter shock didn't make itself wait, as she was speechless, mouth and eyes wide as plates. Needless to say, this did not please her. Could you imagine what would've happened if you had told her earlier?

- So then Todd came back... -

...from the bathroom. Zipping up his pants. With a pair of panties on his head. And Lynette behind him. Ay, ay, ay... this is gonna get ugly. The intensity from Envy's glare wasn't even directed toward you, and it still managed to give you goosebumps.

"So... uh... What'd I miss?" Todd awkwardly asked, and the way he delivered that line made you feel he didn't care much.

"Told you, a cocky pretty boy." Lucas whispered, nudging your shoulder.

"Managing three girls at once, Ingram?" Matthew clicked his tongue and shook his head in disappointment.

"Where have you two been?" You asked, narrowing your eyes.

"Where have you?" Matthew and Lucas asked back.

"...Fair." You shrugged.

"Whose are they?!" Envy demanded as she shoved Todd.

"Wha?" Todd pretended, barely catching himself.

"The panties on your head!" Envy clarified, angered.

"Oh, um..." Lynette awkwardly grabbed the panties off Todd's head. "How did that happen? That's crazy!"

"You! Right under my nose this whole time?! You're so fired!" Envy shouted as she grabbed Ramona's hammer, about ready to play whack-a-mole with the drummer's head.

"Whatever! Sayonara, suckers!" Lynette exclaimed as she put the hands together and began to glow.

"Envy! She's teleporting!" Ramona warned.

"She can try!" Envy exclaimed as she swung the hammer.

Lynette did manage to teleport away in time, but not fast enough for the hammer to hit her bionic arm, which held the panties, and also came off and landed on the ground. With a loud "KAM!"

"Fancy a bionic arm?" Kim asked, picking it up.

"I'll mount the arm on my bedroom wall if you paste Lynette's underwear in your scrapbook." Ramona smirked.

"Okay, come on. I was messing with you before. As if I have a scrapbook." Kim denied, chuckling. "I've just been working in this stupid secret dress all weekend."

"Aw, you didn't have a scrapbook?" You playfully pouted. "That would've been a cool keepsake."

"Psh, shut up, you." Kim rolled her eyes, and lightly punched your arm.

"Oh, man, that's a relief. I guess we can keep being friends." Ramona joked.

"J-just a minute!" Todd stuttered as he was cornered by Envy.

"Oh yeah, Todd's about to be murdered." You whispered. "Almost forgot about that."

"That's what he gets for juggling hearts." Matthew chuckled.

"This is gonna be good." Lucas smirked.

"It's... uh... not what if looks like!" Todd defended, and Envy only responded with a deadly glare.

"We made a vow, Todd!" Envy shouted as she swung the hammer.

With no choice, Todd stopped it with his psychic powers. "I'm not fighting you, Envy." He said before clutching the hammer and throwing it aside.

"That's not all you won't be doing! God, you asshole!" Envy exclaimed, and began to tremble.

"C'mon, baby, she meant nothing to me. It's just a thing in the past." Todd tried to calm her down as he pulled her into a hug. "Envy... you're my girl..."

"Oh, Todd..." Envy's trembling subsided... until she got mad again and delivered a knee to his crotch. "Let's both be girls!"

"Hrrgghhh!" Todd groaned and grunted in pain, his psychic powers going haywire from the sudden loss of concentration.

"N-no way! Todd's weak point is... his nuts?!" An audience member exclaimed.

That's gotta hurt!" Another added.

However, it seemed that Todd was about to retaliate as his eyes began to glow, shooting a wave of green energy at Envy. But, you had to do something. What to do?

- Get Envy out of there

She was a bitch, sure. A huge one. But you're not one to hold a grudge. You might risk getting hit, but it was worth it to save her. Oh, and also, this might give Sex Bob-Omb a good rep for saving the main event.

- Stay put

Envy had it coming. This was karma finally striking. And you weren't one to intervene. Maybe if you stood back and watched, things would work out your way. Eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth.

Oh, you knew what preceded. You prepared to go light speed and run right over to Envy. In a blinding light of blue and purple, you ran as fast as possible, and pushed Envy out of harm's way.

"Wha-?!" Envy looked confused, but then she saw the blast hit you.

"Worth it...!" You exclaimed as you took the full force of the blow, sending you flying toward the other side of the palace.

+ Good Karma!

"Todd Ingram was about to hit a girl!" An audience member exclaimed.

"Isn't that what he just did?" Another asked.

"I don't know Y/N's gender!" The other answered.

"Who cares? I'm not afraid to hit a girl! I'm a rock star, losers!" Todd yelled as he flipped everyone the bird.