Chapter 12

I was sitting cross-legged on my bed, methodically reviewing every moment of our intense conversation in my head, my heart still racing uncontrollably from the raw emotional depth of our interaction. The weight of what I had just done - actually telling someone about my rape - felt simultaneously liberating and absolutely terrifying as the words continued to echo through the chambers of my mind. That primal growl that had erupted from Jackson's throat had initially sent waves of fear coursing through me, making shivers dance down my spine like icy fingers. His immediate shift to protector mode had been striking - those strong, capable arms wrapping around me like a shield against the world. Yet, his body was shaking so violently that the tremors reverberated through every fiber of my being. I kept asking him if he was okay, worry etching deep lines across my forehead as I watched him struggle; finally, he had gathered me into his lap with such careful tenderness, burying his face deep into the curve of my neck where his warm, uneven breath fanned across my sensitive skin in erratic bursts.

"Zoe, my wolf is on edge, and I am fighting for control," he had said, his voice rough and raw with barely contained emotion.

The sudden stillness that followed was striking - he stopped moving, his muscled body becoming rigid against mine, taut with tension. Though I was confused by this abrupt change, something deep within me recognized the rightness of being held in his protective embrace.

He must have sensed my swirling confusion because he answered the unspoken questions tumbling through my mind as if he could read my thoughts, his voice taking on a gentler quality though still clearly strained with effort.

"Your scent and being close to me calm my wolf," he had explained, pulling me closer against his chest as if to demonstrate the truth of his words.

I consciously decided to surrender to the moment, snuggling deeper into his embrace and finding unexpected solace in the steady, rhythmic beating of his heart against my back. Those few minutes stretched into what felt like a peaceful slice of eternity until he finally stood up, cradling me in his powerful arms with such care that it made my breath catch. He carried me to the elevator with measured steps and then to my room, setting me down on the bed with such exquisite gentleness that my heart performed a little flutter in my chest. Then he turned to me, his eyes intense with emotion, and said,

"I am not angry at you; I am angry at myself and that man. Please know that none of this is your fault."

"You did nothing wrong, but I must let my wolf run. He needs this release."

"He is agitated right now, and the only way for me to get him to cool off is to run him. The forest calls to us both."

"I will be back, and we will talk; I can have Dustin get your sister if you want some company while I'm gone."

"No," I responded quickly, the words tumbling out before I could even think about them, knowing with certainty that I couldn't bear to face anyone else at that moment.

The thought of taking a long, hot bath and allowing myself time to process everything that had transpired seemed far more appealing. He had nodded, deep understanding reflecting in his expressive eyes, and though it was difficult for him, he had left the room, his reluctance evident in every step.

Now, sitting here alone with my thoughts, I have meticulously reviewed our conversation at least five times, dissecting every word exchanged, gentle touch shared, and nuanced reaction displayed. Despite his explicit reassurance, I couldn't thoroughly shake the nagging feeling that I had somehow done something wrong, even though my rational mind understood perfectly well that this wasn't the case. His intensely protective reaction had been simultaneously frightening and deeply comforting - a paradox that perfectly encapsulated the complexity of our entire interaction. The way his wolf responded to my revelation spoke volumes about his character and the depth of his connection to me, even if I didn't fully understand all the implications yet. The memory of his trembling body, fighting for control while still maintaining such gentle care with me, created a confusing mix of emotions that I was still trying to sort through. His insistence on running his wolf to regain control, rather than risking any loss of composure around me, demonstrated a level of consideration that touched me deeply. Even in his clearly agitated state, his primary concern had remained my comfort and well-being, a realization that sent warmth through my chest despite the heaviness of the situation.

I finally gathered my strength and rose from the bed, making my way to the bathroom with slow, deliberate steps. The promise of a warm bath beckoned me, offering the possibility of washing away some of the emotional heaviness that clung to my shoulders. As I filled the deep porcelain tub, watching the steaming water rise and create delicate swirls of vapor, I added a generous amount of lavender-scented bubble bath, its soothing aroma already beginning to work its magic on my frayed nerves.

Sinking into the warm embrace of the water, I fully submerged, feeling the gentle caress of the bubbles against my skin. Time seemed to lose all meaning as I soaked, watching absently as my fingers and toes gradually wrinkled like tiny prunes, the warm water working to unknot the tension in my muscles. The lavender scent enveloped me like a comforting blanket, its calming properties slowly but surely easing some of the anxiety that had taken residence in my chest.

When the water finally began to cool, I reluctantly emerged from my sanctuary. I dried myself off with one of the impossibly soft towels. Then, I noticed something I had completely overlooked before - a large, plush grey robe hanging invitingly on the back of the bathroom door. The fabric looked incredibly cozy, practically calling out to be worn. Though I wasn't sure who it belonged to, something compelled me to reach for it. As I wrapped the soft material around my body, I was immediately enveloped in Jackson's distinctive scent - that intoxicating mixture of pine needles, wild forest air, and something uniquely, unmistakably him. The familiar scent worked like an instant balm on my troubled spirit, creating a cocoon of safety and protection that made me feel inexplicably secure.

Just as I emerged from the bathroom, my damp hair creating intricate moisture patterns on my shoulders and the robe's collar, I heard a gentle but firm knock at the door. My heart skipped a beat as my mind immediately jumped to the possibility that Jackson might have contacted my sister. The thought made my stomach clench - I wasn't prepared to face her inevitable questions and well-meaning but overwhelming concern.

"Come in," I called out, consciously trying to keep my voice steady despite my inner turmoil.

The door opened to reveal Beta Cole, his tall frame filling the doorway as he carefully balanced a laden tray containing enough food to feed several people. His expression perfectly blended professional courtesy and genuine warmth as he entered the room with measured steps.

"You missed dinner, and the alpha asked me to bring you food," he explained, carefully setting the heavily laden tray down. "He was quite insistent that you eat something substantial. In fact, he specifically detailed what should be included to ensure you receive proper nutrition."

"Is he okay?" The question burst from my lips before I could stop it, my concern for Jackson evident in every syllable.

Beta Cole's expression softened slightly as he replied, "Yes, he will be okay. He just needs some time to process everything. The wolf side of him requires physical release to maintain balance."

"He wanted me to tell you that he is deeply sorry for leaving so abruptly and will return as soon as he can," Beta Cole continued, his voice gentle but firm. "He also emphasized multiple times that you should eat well. His concern for your wellbeing was quite apparent."

As he turned to leave, his movements deliberate and controlled, he paused at the threshold. Turning back to face me, his stoic expression transformed into genuine sincerity.

"Zoe," he said, his voice taking on a more personal tone, "I want you to know that Jackson is truly one of the finest individuals I've ever had the privilege to know. I hope you'll give him a chance to prove that to you. In all the years I've known him, I've never witnessed him demonstrate such deep care and concern for anyone like he does for you. It's quite remarkable, actually."

Touched deeply by Jackson's thoughtful consideration and Beta Cole's heartfelt words of support, I could only manage a quiet nod in response. As the door closed behind him, I turned my attention to the generously prepared meal, my heart feeling inexplicably lighter despite the emotional weight of the evening's events.