Slapping Elders? No, I'm Too Busy

The White Jade Beauty strolled by effortlessly, balancing her boulder on one finger.

She smiled. "Need help?" I refused to die before getting revenge.

So I activated my secret technique.

Step One: Find a gullible disciple.

I turned to the idiot who punched me on the first day. "Hey, wanna bet?"

He snorted. "Bet what?"

I grinned despite the pain. "I bet you can't carry TWO boulders up the mountain."

He laughed. "Are you stupid? Of course I can!" Before he could think twice, I rolled my boulder onto his.

He stumbled, nearly fell, and I dusted my hands. Problem solved.

Big Wu choked on laughter. "You just scammed your way out of training."

I wiped the sweat from my brow. "A Supreme Lord adapts."

The Sect Elder was not amused. The Elder Has Hands, And I Am Their Target.

The old man appeared behind me like a ghost. I barely had time to react before...BAM!. His wrinkly hand smacked me upside the head. I saw stars.

"You think you can trick your way through training?" the Elder growled.

I tried to play dumb. "Who, me?" Another smack.

I accepted my fate. More Suffering, Less Dignity

Forced to pick up an even bigger boulder, I crawled up the mountain. The sect disciple I scammed sneered at me, still struggling with his two boulders.

The White Jade Beauty watched from above, eyes amused. "Struggling?" she asked.

I wheezed. "No. Just…admiring the scenery. From the ground." She actually laughed.

I suddenly felt less miserable. Then the Elder's voice boomed....

"NO ONE EATS UNTIL YOU REACH THE TOP!" I wanted to cry.

A Supreme Lord's List of Grudges Updated, Again

Sect disciple who punched me.

The White Jade Beauty, for being too talented.

My past self, for not appreciating soft beds.

The Sect Elder, for having hands faster than a lightning tribulation.

But most of all… I swore vengeance against this cursed boulder.

My arms trembled terribly. My back ached. And My Supreme Lord dignity? Nonexistent.

The boulder I carried was trying to merge my spine with the mountain. Other disciples had long reached the top, their faces smug as they stuffed their faces with food.

I? Still crawling. Big Wu hovered beside me, eating spirit peaches.

"Bro," he said between bites. "You look like a worm."

I gritted my teeth. "Shut up, Wu."

The White Jade Beauty gracefully strolled past me, arms folded behind her back. She didn't even look tired. Because, she is a damned spirit!.

She glanced at me. "Are you trying to cultivate… or dig your own grave?"

I gasped. "You… could've helped… you know…"

She smiled. "And take away this valuable training opportunity?"

I wanted to scream. Sect Training Elder Shen's Hand Is Swifter Than Fate

The moment I reached the top, I collapsed face-first into the dirt. Victory? No.

Relief? Absolutely not. Because Elder Shen loomed over me, arms folded.

"You're slow," he grunted.

I tried to salvage my pride. "Supreme Lords are never late. We arrive precisely when we mean to." His wrinkly palm hit the back of my head faster than a heavenly tribulation.

SMACK! Stars exploded in my vision.

"Do Supreme Lords also talk back to their elders?" Elder Shen growled. I decided to shut up.

A Supreme Lord's First Mission? Farming Like a Mortal

Just when I thought training was over, the Elder clapped his hands.

"Now," he announced. "Since you all have proven your strength… you will use it to plow the fields."

I choked. "You mean… actual farming?" He nodded. Disciples groaned. But I suffered most.

Big Wu floated upside-down beside me, barely holding in laughter. "Bro… your Supreme Lord comeback arc is just manual labor." I ignored him.

I accepted my fate, grabbed the plow, and began… destroying the field. Because I, a former Supreme Lord, had never farmed before. The Sect Elder Regrets His Life Choices. I looked down at my work.

Instead of neat rows…I had created trenches. It looked like a battlefield.

Elder Shen rubbed his temples. "Boy…"

"Yes, honored Elder?" I tried to look innocent.

His eye twitched. "What in the nine hells have you done?"

I wiped my brow. "Revolutionized farming."

His hand moved faster than my soul leaving my body. SMACK! I flew ten feet across the field.

I groaned from the dirt. I swear, at this rate, I'll reincarnate again.

I lay face-down in the dirt, contemplating my life choices. Not the fact that I had once ruled the Four Realms.

Not the fact that I had reincarnated into a weak mortal body.

No. Right now, my greatest regret was challenging Elder Shen's patience.

Big Wu hovered above me, munching on a roasted spirit nut.

"Bro," he said between chews, "you ever consider not making the Elder want to murder you?"

I groaned. "I am simply existing."

"Yeah. Existing badly."

The Art of Cultivation? No. The Art of Planting Turnips. The next task? Planting.

Yes. Planting turnips. I, the once-mighty Supreme Lord, the terror of gods and demons alike, was now kneeling in the dirt burying vegetables.

The White Jade Beauty stood a few rows away, effortlessly placing invisible seeds into the invisible ground like a celestial fairy.

She looked at me and smirked. "You're doing it wrong," she said.

I scoffed. "Woman, do you think a Supreme Lord needs help planting...." I snapped the turnip seed in half.

Her smirk grew. I clenched my jaw. "This is beneath me."

She tilted her head. "Clearly." Soon, Elder Shen stormed over.

I braced myself. A Supreme Lord's Third Great Humiliation: Sect Elders Have No Mercy

"Boy!" Elder Shen barked.

"Honored Elder!" I replied, standing straight.

"Why," he pointed at my row, "does your field look like a drunken ox plowed through it?"

I glanced at the mess. He… had a point.

I scratched my head. "Creativity?" His hand rose.

I saw my future flash before my eyes. SMACK! This time , I flew ten feet....again.

Landed next to Big Wu.

He grinned. "Bro, at this rate, the sect should just assign you a personal crater." I twitched.

Mission: Escape Farming, Return to Cultivation After an eternity of farming, the Elder finally waved his hand.

"Enough," he said. "Tomorrow, we return to proper training." Finally. I shed a single tear.

No more turnips. No more trenches. No more flying across the sect like a ragdoll.

Or so I thought.