I Need Refund For This Body

I sighed and swung the sword. THWACK.

The boulder did not move. I swung again.

THWACK. Nothing. Then, I glanced at Ruoyan.

She yawned. "Harder."

I took a deep breath. Fine. If this is what it takes, I'll do it.

I raised the sword and.... BANG. The wooden sword snapped in half.

I stared at it. Ruoyan stared at it.

The crowd, which had gathered again for my suffering, exploded in laughter.

"HAHAHAHA!" Someone fell to the ground, clutching their stomach. "THIS GUY CAN'T EVEN TRAIN RIGHT!"

I closed my eyes, inhaled deeply, and swallowed my Supreme Lord-level pride.

I just declared war on my Supreme Lord Weak Body

That day, I swore I would regain my strength.

No more humiliations. No more beatdowns.

The Supreme Lord is coming back.

And when I do… I'm making Lin Ruoyan PAY.

Day One of Training:

Status: Broken.

Dignity: Nonexistent.

Revenge List: Growing. I sat on the ground, glaring at my traitorous limbs as Lin Ruoyan chewed on a melon seed, watching me like some kind of entertainment show.

"So, Supreme Lord," she smirked, "you done for the day?" Done?.

I was the Supreme Lord of the Four Realms. I had shattered mountains, battled celestial beasts, and crushed sects beneath my feet.

And now?. I couldn't even lift a rock?.

Pathetic. I gritted my teeth and stood up, ignoring the screams of my very uncooperative muscles. "I'm not done until that boulder shatters."

Ruoyan grinned. "That's the spirit! Now, try not to fail so badly this time."

A Supreme Lord's Training Montage If It Were a Comedy

Attempt #1:

I punched the boulder.

Boulder: Unmoved.

Me: Cried a little.

Attempt #5:

Tried lifting a smaller rock.

Rock: Did not move.

Me: Felt personally attacked.

Attempt #15:

Swung my broken wooden sword at a training dummy.

Training dummy: Knocked me over.

Me: Questioned my entire existence.

The sect disciples watching could not contain their amusement.

"Is this guy really a reincarnated Supreme Lord?"

"He fights like a sick chicken." I took a deep breath. I WILL get stronger.

Lin Ruoyan handed me a bowl of medicinal soup. "Drink this. It'll help with recovery."

I sniffed it. "What's in it?"

She smiled. "You don't wanna know."

I stared at her, then at the suspicious green liquid.…This was probably poison.

I drank it anyway. I immediately regretted it.

It felt like a thousand demons were having a fistfight in my stomach.

I clutched my gut. "What the hell is this?!"

Ruoyan patted my shoulder. "Don't worry. It's only mildly poisonous." I collapsed.

Day Two: I Want a Refund on This Body

When I woke up, my entire body felt like it had been through the Nine Hells. I turned my head. Lin Ruoyan was already waiting with a new training plan.

"You survived," she said cheerfully. "Good! Time for the next stage."

I groaned. "If I die, I'm haunting you."

She grinned. "I'd like to see you try."

I sighed, dragged myself up, and prepared for another day of torture.

Revenge could wait. Right now, I just wanted to survive.

Day Two of Training:

Status: Still Broken.

Muscles: Mutinous.

Revenge List: Now Includes Lin Ruoyan.

I stared at the training grounds in front of me, sweat already forming at the back of my neck. The mighty challenge standing in my way?

A staircase. A very, very long staircase.

Lin Ruoyan, that devilish woman, smiled as she gestured toward it. "Alright, today's training is simple...run up these thousand steps. Should be easy for the former Supreme Lord of the Four Realms, right?"

A thousand? I turned to look at her. "Be honest. Is this training, or are you just trying to kill me?"

She chuckled. "A little of both." I muttered curses under my breath and started climbing.

Step #1:

Confidence level: 100%.

Step #50:

Breathing? Getting harder.

Step #200:

Who needs lungs anyway?

Step #500:

Spiritual energy? Gone.

Knees? Questionable.

Dignity? Missing.

As I wheezed, a group of young sect disciples casually jogged past me, chatting and laughing like they weren't even trying. One of them looked at me and nodded sympathetically. "Don't worry, Senior Brother. Keep at it! You'll improve in a few years!"

A few years?! I wanted to cry. Lin Ruoyan sat at the top of the staircase, snacking on melon seeds and watching me suffer.

I glared at her. "You could at least pretend to be supportive."

She smiled. "You're doing great!" She didn't even try to sound sincere.

Step #900:

I saw the heavens, and my ancestors called to me.

Step #1000:

I collapsed face-first on the last step. Lin Ruoyan peered down at me. "So, how do you feel?"

I lifted my head weakly. "Like I was just murdered by a staircase."

She nodded approvingly. "Good! That means it's working." I was going to kill her.

Later That Night: A Supreme Lord's Revenge, well Maybe. I sat in my room, glaring at my aching limbs. I had fought celestial beasts, conquered divine realms, and crushed armies.

Now, stairs had defeated me. Unacceptable..! Just as I was plotting my revenge against Lin Ruoyan, my door creaked open. She walked in, carrying a bowl.

I flinched. "What's that?"

"Medicine."

I eyed it suspiciously. "The last time you gave me something, I thought my stomach was going to explode."

She grinned. "This one only causes mild hallucinations." I stared at her.

She was definitely messing with me.…I drank it anyway, because supreme Lords never back down from a challenge.

The next morning.

Status: Still alive, somehow.

Muscles: Boycotting movement.

Lin Ruoyan's Medicine: Unknown side effects pending. I woke up feeling like death. My body ached, my legs refused to move, and worst of all, I was hungry.

The problem? I couldn't get up. I lay there for a solid ten minutes, staring at the ceiling, contemplating my life choices. How had it come to this? A Supreme Lord, feared across realms, defeated by stairs and starvation.

No. I refused to go out like this. With the strength of a dying turtle, I rolled off the bed. Crash. Face-first into the floor.

"…I meant to do that." After crawling? Yes, crawling...out of my room, I finally made it to the dining hall.

The disciples were already eating, happily enjoying their steamed buns and rice porridge. The moment I stepped in, conversations stopped, and all eyes turned to me.