Scolding, Introspection

"You...!"

"You don't know what you're talking about!"

"You're stopping me from helping our people who are still out there."

Angered and seething, Sun approaches as he accuses.

He is immediately slapped to the ground. Shade of Autumn continues to berate him.

"I don't think you understand what you're talking about yourself!"

"Understand that it is your duty to protect these people, this Settlement."

"To run out there is to forgo your duty."

"To run out there is to give up your life!"

"Do you wish to die fruitlessly? What can you do out there!?"

The slap reddened his cheek.

Tears pricked his eye, possibly caused by the slap or something else.

"So what if I die out there! Should I stay here knowing that my seniors are putting their lives on the line?!"

"That is exactly it! You stay here, help the people here, where you are needed."

A hand gently pulled Shade of Autumn; the Settlement Lord held her shoulder.

He decided to step in.

As Shade of Autumn backed off from Sun, the Settlement Lord knelt down.

"Friend. I understand that you wish to be more active in your role."

"I can not understand why you are so willing to throw your life away in this battle, and I will not pry."

"However, from what I heard from friend Spring, you would best make use of your other capabilities here..."

"..." Shocked, Sun tried to retort but found himself unable to, "I... can't just sit back... not this time...!"

The Settlement Lord sighed, gesturing to Sun to look in another direction.

"Over there are people who are wounded."

"We have too few medical experts to treat them all."

Looking at another place, the Settlement lord pointed out, "More people are coming in, too."

"Whether you want to sacrifice your life for some greater cause, I won't judge you for that."

"But if you forsake my people, and the duty you're supposed to fulfil, then that is something I can't forgive."

"Friend Spring claimed that you were a Medical Expert, no?"

"Can I ask you to at least treat the people here before you depart to the battlefield?"

"..."

Sun's tightly knit brow twitched, emotions surged and mixed.

Anger. He was denied his chance for redemption.

Despair. Feeling so useless during this dire time.

Confusion. Unknowing of what he should be doing.

As he sat up, Sun met the Settlement Lord's solemn gaze.

Shade of Autumn stood behind the Lord.

"You must realise that this situation is bad for everyone, not just our seniors."

"Leaving to aid them, especially when you can help here, spells doom for us all."

"Either way, you are staking your life, but you don't realise that you are misplacing it by focusing on the battlefield."

"..."

...

A small site was quickly set up to accommodate the injured.

Few Cultivators were stationed here, but it seems that several mortal warriors were implicated during the sudden assault.

Spasming chests and failing lungs.

Bleeding wounds and torn flesh.

Severe burns and blind eyes.

The ashen fog seemed to have affected these mortal warriors severely.

Sun was standing above a batch of them; a row was lying on the ground on white padding.

The pale starlight only served to highlight their pale and fragile complexions.

Gritting his teeth, Sun began to kneel before the first one.

The battle between Warrior of Spring and the intruding demonic Cultivator resounded in the background.

It was loud and ferocious, shockwaves and tremors even reached here.

Pale green Qi flowed slowly.

Sun poured it into the first mortal's chest, trying to focus on healing alone.

'I'm needed here...'

Even then, focusing was too difficult with the fighting in the background.

It was like a reminder, both of his incapability of fighting at such a level, and his presence here and not there.

'I cultivated Dao Arts to fight on the battlefield.'

'I cultivated to stand and fight, to protect the people behind me.'

'I cultivated to fulfil my Way... didn't I?'

He did not feel satisfied here, healing these people.

Sun still sought his redemption for failing his people.

The people of Star Gazing Settlement who were felled by beasts and the Demons.

Yet... he did not feel drawn to the battlefield as intently as he was before.

Moving his hands, he split the flow of Qi, pouring into the mortal's stomach and mind.

The spasming chest was soothed, now Sun just had to aid their general recovery.

'I want to help people... If I can't fight, I can't help people.'

Snapping him out of his thoughts, Shade of Autumn grabbed his shoulder from behind, and his attention.

"Allow me to apologise for my outburst, Sun."

"It was unbecoming of me, but I hope you can understand where my emotions came from."

Meeting her gaze, Sun only nodded in response. Sighing, Shade of Autumn continued.

"Your desire to fight is admirable, but do not let desperation cloud your judgment."

"You have a role to fulfil here."

"You can help the people here."

Sun shuddered under those words.

"It's not enough... Just helping these people when I can't protect them, it's not enough."

"It may be only a small action, but it is enough. People who cling to life are grateful for living."

Shade of Autumn retracted her hand and turned to leave, not without leaving a few words behind.

"You must realise that these people will recover. Even if they were injured severely, they will live, and they will thank the hand that carried them."

"..."

Left alone, Sun merely moved to the next mortal warrior.

Guiding his hands to the person's chest, he began to instil his light green Qi.

'How can I be satisfied with just this...?'

Sun felt conflicted.

'I want to help, does that not mean preventing the hardships, and the ordeals which harm life?'

As he fell into deep contemplation, the resounding battle called from the background.

Sparing the scene a glance, Sun felt conflicting emotions about what he truly wanted.

Strength, such as Warrior of Spring. 

The capability to defend the people, as Sun's seniors are doing now.

His inability to fight, especially on such a level, left Sun feeling helpless.

'Redemption...'

Looking at the person beneath his hands, Sun continued to heal this person from the effects of the ashen fog.

Subtly, ever so slightly, Sun felt something lighten in his chest.

...