4

Night came and night went.

Curly didn't sleep a wink. He honestly wasn't sure if he could even sleep anymore without being drugged out of his mind.

Yet it's not like there was anything better to do. He especially didn't want to leave his room and chance an encounter. So… he just laid there on that damned bed.

Hours on end passed like this, either spent with him fighting the urge to pass out or managing to nod off just to be jolted awake by a nightmare or by the thought that he'd heard something outside his door.

The man just… didn't know what to do. He'd made it through one day, and he… he was just supposed to keep that up, right? Keep an eye on Jimmy, make sure to be there for the crew, and don't fall apart. That last part was already wearing away at him, it felt like he'd been stitched back together again with loose wiring. As though at any point he would realize he was just hallucinating this all or that this was some new desperate trick his mind was pulling on him.

Yet everytime he awoke, he was still in that fucking soft and comfortable bed, still fully intact. Curly almost felt taunted. Whisperings in his ears, the phantom shudder of hungry flames, the ache of not being good enough…

He wasn't even surprised when 'morning' came all too soon, only turning to stare passively at his alarm as it went off. Oh this was going to be a long day, dragging his hands down his face, he moved to get ready. Sitting up was easy enough, despite the pinch in his stomach and the pressure in his head, it was the next step where complications arose.

The man swung his legs over the side of the bed as he would have done any other day, and with a sigh, he tried to stand. Keyword being tried. He didn't know if it was because he was tired or maybe because he hadn't eaten in a day, but as he heaved himself up, he only had a few seconds of an unstable sway before he fell.

Honestly, it hurt his pride more than anything else, Curly sighing heavily face down against the carpet.

Thinking long and hard whether he actually cared to get up or not, the man propped himself up on his elbows. He tried to get his legs under him, but for the life of him, he just… couldn't figure it out. His brain felt so sluggish, so numb.

Jesus Christ, did. Did he forget how to walk??? But… he managed it just yesterday!?

He slumped forward to drag his fingers through his hair. The man couldn't help but begin to giggle, rolling over onto his back as hysterical tears pricked his eyes.

With all the grace that came with saying 'fuck it,' he decided he was just going to lay there. At least, at least for just a bit.

~

Anya hummed softly as she sat between Daisuke and Swansea, listening to the younger of the two ramble on and on about how he imagined foam to taste like. She'd long since given up trying to divert it to something else, just sitting back and letting the majorly one-sided conversation go on. The woman resting her chin on a palm, exchanging looks with Swansea every once and awhile.

Across the table is where the copilot sat, eyes directed firmly on the bowl of oatmeal he was eating. Strangely enough, he hadn't even glanced at her since he'd gotten there, which while relieving, also made her feel unnerved. It wasn't often that she got to eat a meal in peace.

Though, speaking of which, there were only the four of them currently present. She checked the time, frowning a bit when she saw it. Strange… the captain should have been up by now, where was he?

Her eyes darted back to Jim and she frowned. He hadn't done anything to the man… had he? Anya felt a newfound tightness building thick in her chest. She looked back to Daisuke, "Hey, I-I'll be right back, I'm going to see where Captain Curly is."

The intern blinked, looking over to where the captain usually sat, "I thought he was doing, uh, captain stuff already?"

"What a go-getter," a voice snarked from across the table. Anya ignored the comment entirely.

"That was my thought, too, but uh, I don't think I've even caught a glimpse of him, have you?"

Daisuke dutifully shook his head before looking to Swansea.

The man grunted, glancing up from his own meal, "I've been up for awhile now, either he's crawling around in the vents—" Daisuke glanced towards the ceiling with a soft snicker, "—or he hasn't left his room."

"Hm, he did leave dinner early last night—"

"Oh would you all give it a rest, let the good ole captain pout in his room if he wants," Jim spat, "Seriously, don't tell me you've all falling for that sad act of his? He's been moping all of yesterday, and the day before, and ever since this damned ship got going."

Anya looked away, taking a moment to breath, "I… I'm g-going to check his room."

"Of course you are, nurse," he drawled, "Wouldn't waste a second if it was for him, huh?"

She got up with an huff, hearing Swansea say something gruff and low as she headed out the room. She didn't care to listen, just rubbing at an arm as she went towards the crew's quarters.

She hated how he got under her skin, all those damned comments and sly remarks. Anya sighed, moving to hug herself. What she wouldn't give to never hear that bastard speak again… she took a deep breath in. Held it. And released it slowly.

At least looking for Curly gave her something else to focus on.

The woman barely needed to look up as she walked, she honestly could walk the whole ship blind if she wanted. The nurse just stared at her own feet the whole while until she finally came to that door. Anya barely wasted a second before she'd raised a hand and knocked.

There was no response.

She hesitated before knocking a bit louder. Again, the woman didn't hear much of anything, shifting in place. Surely nothing could have happened, right?

Cautiously, she moved to rest her hand on the handle, clearing her throat, "Uh, Captain? I'm, I'm entering the room? Okay?"

She creaked the door open and cautiously peered in, looking about. Anya honestly didn't spot Curly off the bat. Not until she looked to the floor, jolting when she saw the man laid out on the ground, terrifyingly still.

The nurse quickly entered, mouth flying open to call the man's name when a faint snore cut through her growing panic. She froze in place, blinking a moment, did he just— another snore answered her question. He… he was asleep?

Why on earth was he on the ground though? She furrowed her brow, glancing to the bed, seeing that the blankets and sheets still looked to be made, if a little disturbed. Anya looked back down at her captain, feeling bad about going to disturb him.

Still… she wanted to make sure he was okay, gently resting a couple fingers against his forehead. He barely stirred, mumbling something before stilling again with a little sigh.

He didn't feel warm and his breathing seemed easy and normal. So… so he was just… passed out on the floor? Did… did he normally sleep on the floor…?

Anya tilted her head, looking the man over a bit more critically. He didn't seem to be in any visible discomfort, nothing seemed out of place, just… sound asleep.

"Captain?" She gently nudged his shoulder, barely getting more than a grumble as the man tried to lean away, "Curly?"

She sighed, "Come on, you have to eat breakfast since you skipped out on dinner…" She took ahold of his shoulder a bit more firmly and shook him. "Captain?"

This time she got more of a reaction, a slurred 'huh?' and the flutter of his eyelids. It didn't last long though as the captain rolled over and tucked his head into his arms.

Anya couldn't help but mouth 'really?' to herself before clearing her throat loudly.

This time the man jolted awake, sitting up quickly with a nervous look about, "Jesus Christ—! What'in… hell… Anya?" He blinked a few times, finally taking notice of her crouched there.

"Uh… morning, Captain."

The two stared at one another for a minute or so before Curly spoke slowly, "Mornin.'" The captain raised a shaky hand and gave a little wave.

"…Hi." She frowned as she looked him over, "You okay?" He was a mess to say the least; hair tangled, eyes red-rimmed with steady bags lurking underneath, slurred speech (honestly it made that faint accent of his all that more notable), and an unsteady shudder to his movements.

He gave a laugh, rubbing the back of his neck, "Oh yeah, yeah, mmmwhy um… wouldn't, uh, be?"

"…you were passed out on the floor, Curly?"

Curly glanced about, squinting, "Oh yeah. M'on the floor…" He bit back a yawn, rubbing his free hand down his face, "Mmmm, uh, just fell off n' just… ya'know, stayed… annnndddd… whatta, uh, you doing… here…?"

She tucked a strand of hair behind an ear, snorting softly, "You didn't meet the crew for breakfast like you usually do… got a bit worried." She gave an apologetic smile, "Sorry… I, I knocked though."

"Mmmm'pprecait," he stretched out his back, pausing to rub at a shoulder, "Sorry, gimme'moment, will you?"

"Oh, um— okay."

Curly rocked himself a moment before trying to stand, letting out a sharp yelp as he almost immediately pitched forward. Anya jolted and moved to catch him, fumbling under his weight as she looped her arms under his, "Y-You good there, Captain?"

The man laughed into her shoulder, "Immaa… 'orgot to use my legs?"

"I… you what?"

Curly just clicked his tongue and slowly leaned away, "Yeah, yeah… jushhh, cmon knees, dontcha bloody'amn… give on me now…"

He slipped out her hold and stumbled to his feet, arms snapping out to try and keep balance. Anya couldn't help but reach out a hand incase he went falling again, though fortunately for both of them, the captain stayed standing on his own this time.

"Yeeeesh," Curly sighed, "Now thatta, that uh… more work'innit?"

"I… can you repeat that again, please?"

"Is'fuckin' work, you know'es?"

"…okay, Captain. Uh, have you… had days like this before…?"

"Hm?" The captain glanced over at her before making an odd little grumble in the back of his throat, "Yesss…? Kinda." He yawned widely into a fist, "Imma sure… go away sooner rath'der later, just. M'tired, is all."

"I'm… a bit worried about your sleep schedule," she muttered, eyeing him a moment. "Just… when's the last time you had a good nights sleep?"

"Oh, donna'worry, Imma…" He trailed off, wrinkling his nose, "How's long I been sleepin…?" He didn't even let her hazard a guess, stumbling to the bedside to grab at his alarm and squint at it.

Anya crossed her arms, "About 20-30 minutes, I think?"

"Mmmmm." He sucked in a breath, "Imma try'n'not… uh let'a happen again, sorry about it, surprised no one came pounding on my door tellin'me get my lazy ass up, ha!"

She shrugged, "You did look pretty tired yesterday, I'm just glad you got some sleep… actually, did you, uh, that is, did you get much sleep last night as well?"

"I woulda loveee say yes, but Imma pretty sure you'd'now I was lyin.'"

"The eyebags do give it away, Captain," Anya allowed a faint smile, attempting something teasing if not for her underlying concern. He hadn't eaten yesterday or gotten any sleep, that couldn't be allowed to go on. "You know… you're still wearing your work uniform…?"

The man blinked down as though this was news to him as well, "Oh, yeamm. Sheesh, all'ova the place, heh, uh, woulda'ou mind…?" He gestured towards the door, shaking his head tiredly.

It took a moment to catch his meaning. "Oh!" She nodded easily, already moving to slip back out, "I'll just, I'll wait out here for you, okay?"

He gave a thumbs up as she closed the door once more. Anya couldn't help but sigh as she turned to pace a few steps away, "I swear I should just slip sleeping pills into his coffee at some point…"

~

Curly stared at himself in the mirror for a good while, rubbing at his chin and debating whether or not to spend time trying to shave. God… when was the last time he'd done that? He couldn't even get up in the morning, how the fuck was he supposed to… it was fine.

He rolled his eyes, smiling lopsided at himself, "Wonna kill me notto…"

He paused, squinting. "Wonna… won't… kill me… not to." He nodded slowly, that was better. Yeah.

He puffed out his cheeks and giving himself a nod, "Aight… Alright, Curly! Let'es… let's go, we can… can turn this day around, yeah? Yeah!"

The captain sighed, moving to meet up with Anya outside. Though… it was incredibly tempted to crawl back to that spot on the carpet.

~

When the captain joined Anya outside, she couldn't quite keep back a frown. Curly still seemed wobbly on his feet and he was getting that dazed look to him like when he was about to start dissociating. "Captain?"

He stirred, "Hm?"

"You sure you're okay?"

His smile was dim, "Of… of course."

She fidgeted, eyeing him warily before taking a chance, "You're lying again…" The captain blinked at her and Anya pushed on before she could lose her nerve, "I'm not stupid."

"Didn't say you're—"

"Let me talk." Curly eyed her, raising his eyebrows, she stubbornly stared back. "I don't, I really don't appreciate being lied to," she said, looking to the ground, "I'm tired of it… So. So don't," she clenched her hands into fists, "Y-You can lie, lie to yourself, but everyone c-can see you're wearing yourself thin."

"I…"

"You're not going to help anyone if you can't even get up into the morning… so, so just let me help you. Please."

Curly gave a heavy sigh, "…hey."

The woman cautioned a glance to the man, he was staring back with the most odd expression. It was… almost proud? Proud yet pained. It made her insides twist, "Captain?"

"You're… you're a good person, y'know that?"

She inhaled sharply, it felt like she'd been slapped. "I am?"

"Look," Curly chuckled softly, "I 'ppreciate you, so… thank you. I… I'm not ready to, to talk about whatsit that's botherin' me, but Imma'keep your words in mind, just Christ, you're one strong woman, you know?"

She swallowed thickly… he thought she was strong? Her eyes watered, "I-I…?"

"I mean it," he said with a nod, tired eyes looking to some far off spot, "I… been too caught on lookin' at… the big picture, m'sorry it took me so long to see you—"

Anya rested a hand on his arm, the man pausing as his gaze turned to her. She swallowed back tears and pulled him into a tight hug. It was stiff, awkward, but by the way Curly's breathing hitched, they both clearly needed it.

~

Jimmy was glaring at him from the moment Curly entered the room, he didn't have to look to know this. He could feel the man's eyes burning a hole through his damn skull, though with the building headache the captain had going, he honestly couldn't give less of a shit.

He gave a tired greeting to Swansea and Daisuke, pausing when the later of the two excitedly moved to press a cup of coffee into his weary hands. Curly smiled, "Oh, you didn't hav'to—"

The kid brushed him off with a golden retriever smile, "Swansea said a cup of coffee might help you wake up!"

The blond glanced over to said man, the engineer just grunting with a shallow nod. Curly chuckled, "Well… is'not like he's wrong."

He could hear Anya make her way around him to a seat settled between Swansea and Daisuke and as he glanced over, he noted she carried herself lighter than she had in some time. Jimmy's sharp-eyed stare didn't even bruise her shine.

He leaned against the near countertop and took a long sip from his mug. It was a bit too sweet for his liking, a bit too thick, but if it wasn't the best damn cup of coffee he'd ever had. The caffeine sure was already doing wonders for him.

An almost blissful silence settled, that was, until that damned devil spoke up, "You look pretty damn smug for a man wasting company time."

Curly sighed into his drink, "Can… can we not do this right n-now?"

Jimmy gave a casual hum, "What? I'm just saying it how it is, cap'tin." The captain just looked up to the ceiling, praying to whoever it was looking down on him for the jackass to shut up already. Sadly, this wasn't a prayer that was answered. "How come you get to bitch about all day, slink around, and sleep in, huh? You think you're better than everyone just cause of that shiny title of yours?"

"Jimmy," he said tiredly, setting his cup to the side so he could pinch the bridge of his nose, "Just stop. Please?"

The man flashed his teeth in a grin, "Oh, cmon, I say something wrong—"

"Hey, Jimbo," Swansea's flat voice cut through the tension, "How about you shut up already?"

"You boot kissing already?"

"It's too early in the fucking morning for you to be pulling this crap."

Jim grunted, but when faced with the mechanic's deadpan stare, it didn't take too much longer for him to back down. The man stood, rolling his eyes, "You know what, fine, I see how it is." He stalked out the door to only god knew where, Curly staring after.

"Drama queen," Swansea scoffed, "Idiot should know how to keep his damned mouth shut."

Anya snorted loudly at that.

~

For once in his life, Curly actually was glad for one of Jimmy's tantrums. Distracted just about everyone enough that when he slipped out the room to check on the cockpit (he was certain Jimmy wouldn't try anything with the ship right now, if only because if he was remembering the timeline well enough, they had not much around but dead space currently), no one made a comment about him skipping out on breakfast again.

Sure, his stomach curled in on itself like a dying spider, but it was fi— okay. So maybe it wasn't exactly 'fine,' but well it wouldn't kill him off the bat to just… skip a few more meals, right?

As he stepped along, he realized with a sinking feeling that a second pair of footsteps had fallen behind him. He turned, tensing, just to find to his relief and confusion that it was Daisuke of all people.

"Oh, hey, wh—"

The kid was pressing something into his hands before he could say much else, Curly raising a brow as he looked down. Huh, was one of those cheap food bars?

"Hey, Curly?"

He hummed, looking back up.

"You… uh," Daisuke twisted the rings on one hand as he looked off to the side, "You didn't have any breakfast?" Shit— he must have made some kind of expression cause the kid pushed on quickly, "Is it the food or something, I-I know I tried my hand at making the meals so, so if it's my fault—"

"Wow, hey, it is not your fault, okay?"

The kid blinked up at him, "It's not?"

"I… just, just been a lot on mind, yeah?" He sighed.

"Really…?"

"I promise."

Daisuke let out a relieved sigh, perking right on up, "So, so you'll eat then? Just, just a couple bites?"

Was he asking him— "Captain?"

Curly swallowed, "Uh, s-sorry, got bit distracted, I can… yeah I can take a few bites."

He looked down to the food bar and under the kid's surveillance, he opened it and stared at the damn thing. He could feel his throat tightening, the unsteady flutter of his heart growing louder and louder by the second—

"—you oka—?"

He took a bite before another word could be said, even if that damned screaming in his ears pitched to a fearful wail. Curly didn't waste a second, as soon as it hit his tongue, he tried to swallow the mouthful down as quickly as possible—

It felt like fire burning down his throat, it felt like fingers prying open his gnarled jaws, it felt like being held down—Come on, Curly, take your fucking medicine—it felt like panic and fear and— open wide you sorry son of a bitch—!

—before clamping a hand quickly over his mouth as bile threatened to come up. He had to keep it down, fuck he had to keep it down—

A hand rested on his arm and snapped him out of it. Daisuke's eyes were wide and nervous, mouth opening and closing as he no doubtedly tried to ask the captain what was wrong.

Curly just barely managed to warble out an apology before his stomach lurched and he was turning away with a harsh gag. It didn't take much to get that feeble bite back up, it took less for his coffee to follow. Thick and acidic and sickly sweet, but even then that seemingly wasn't enough, his mind screaming that there just had to be more in his pathetically empty stomach.

Stomach acid burned his mouth, tears burned his eyes, flames consumed his screams—

He gave until he had nothing left to give. Coughing harshly as he was left a sweaty, shivering wreck. Finally, fucking finally, he was able to lean against the wall and wipe at his mouth.

"Da…isuke…?" He croaked.

"Y-y-yeah?"

"C-Can you get Anya, please?" Curly let himself slowly slide down to the ground, "I-I… I think I'm sick."

The kid didn't need much more convincing, jolting upright, "I— y-yeah! I— uh, stay right h-here, Captain—!" The kid waved his hands about, eyes wide and nervous.

He managed a weak chuckle, "M'not… going n-nowhere…"

Daisuke gave him one more nervous glance over before running off, the captain sighing heavily as he was left alone.

Curly's eyes trailed to the food bar left discarded on the ground, frustrated tears building. He hadn't even managed one fucking bite. He… he really did need help, didn't he?