10

Time is a fickle thing. It creeps along however it so pleases. Bares its teeth, digs in its claws, and it doesn't let go. You can't outrun it, you can't hide from it, it catches up to everyone eventually.

Life and death, nothing and everything, just one fucked up cycle; endlessly coiling upon itself like some writhing snake eating its own tail. It was hungry flames, chilling ashes, and reawakened embers.

Burning flesh, blinded eyes, taking accountability.

Curly felt like he was losing it.

Every time he had something within his grasp, every time he thought he'd understood, every time he saw the light in the dark; something happened.

He crushed the delicate flowers, poisoned the twining roots, snapped the steady stalk. All he wanted was to help. All he ever did was destroy beautiful things.

The man rubbed at his forehead, hissing out a breath. God his head fucking hurt. He hated this. He hated feeling so wrong.

The captain just… just he'd finally fixed everything, right!? He— he stood up to Jimmy! He… he talked back, him and the crew had been doing fine— but that stupid email and— the talk, that damn talk…

It. It had felt good, to speak with Jimmy again. It had felt relieving, but, but was that how he should have felt? Was that… was that right? Or was it just more evidence that no matter what, he was broken? That… that every chance he had he really did go running on back to the man that had hurt him so deeply?

He wiped at his cheek, the man currently sat stiffly in the cockpit. Everything was in order, everything was going along as planned. Or well, it had been, until he'd fucking ruined it.

All that progress, all that trust. They probably hated him, right? He'd taken one hell of a gamble and it could have hurt them all so much… yet. Yet, did Curly actually regret doing it? He… he didn't know. But, but he did, on some level, right? Maybe?

He sighed, checking the time and wincing when he saw it. Had to head to the goddamned medbay sometime in the next hour or so…

Christ he needed to make things up to Anya… what did he do, how could he make sure she knew he meant— he hummed faintly as an idea came to him. That… that could work? Maybe? Though… he frowned, looking at his shoulder. Mmm. He'd need help, he… oh! Swansea was probably not doing much, so… but… but would he help? Or was the older man still mad at him, too? He chewed on his lip, maybe he should take the risk.

He nodded nervously before moving to his feet and towards his quarters, okay. Okay he could do this, grab his supplies and then find Swansea. He could do this, yeah, and— and if the mechanic didn't help him, Curly would do all he could do.

He had to do this.

Curly had to make this right.

~

Anya was taking stock of the medbay supplies when she heard footsteps quickly approaching from the hall before there was the startling smack of something hitting against something else solid. She blinked, sharing a bewildered look with Daisuke, who'd been helping her out. With a raised brow and a curious hum, she opened the door to see what in the world had just happened.

The woman saw to her confusion that Curly was sprawled out before the door, the man holding his head in a hand as he spun in a circle on the ground like a dying fly, "Ow ow ow—"

"Uh, Captain…?"

"Owowowfuckow—" The man raised a finger, "Gimme'moment, please."

She tilted her head, crossing her arms. Anya watched as the man let out a heavy groan, "Bloody'ell, shoulda looked."

The woman glanced from the captain to the door and back again before things started to click. Oh. Oh goodness. Curly had… had just run right into the fucking door. She snorted, quickly covering her mouth so she didn't start laughing and add insult to injury. "Oh dear," she wheezed.

Curly finally managed to drag himself up, swaying where he sat a moment. The blond blinked widely a few times, Anya wincing when she saw his nose was bleeding.

"Oh… you idiot," she muttered, pausing to glance at the box the man had apparently dropped after his unpleasant run-in, "What's that…?"

He practically scrambled to grab the box before she could even touch it, the man tucking it to his chest. They had a brief stare down before the blond started speaking rapidly, blood dripping down his face the whole while, "Oh— oh, hi, Anya!"

"…Hi… uh. What just happened?"

"Okay— sow, uh, forgot check tha door, kinda in hurry, didnna wanna be late, but um. You can't look at it yet, uh, but—"

"You got blood all over your face," she said faintly.

"Oh shit— yikes," the man awkwardly stumbled to his feet, trying to wipe his nose against his good shoulder, "'mma put thish down— uh, ovar here." He walked past her, shaking his head as though trying to dislodge something from his head, mumbling quietly to himself.

Anya just sighed, following the man back inside the medbay.

~

Oh that had hurt. Curly felt like he'd just been kicked in the face again, though the embarrassment was honestly even worst than the actual pain. But! But he could think about that later, instead moving to set his gift down as he grabbed a stool to sit on.

A tissue was held out to him and he took it so he could press it to his nose, squinting at the ground as he regained his bearings.

"—urly—?"

He hummed, jerking back upright, "Wha— uh, yeah?"

"Have I ever told you that you're kind of an idiot?" He snorted, blinking at Anya's blurry form.

"Mmmm, maybe once or twice?" He managed a brief lope-sided smile before sighing, "Sorr—"

"If you say sorry one more time, I'm pushing you out the airlock and Daisuke's going to help me make it look like an accident."

Curly gave a startled laugh, "O-Oh?"

Anya nodded, arms still crossed. "Would you show me your shoulder now?" Ah. Yeah, she was still, rightfully, pissed at him it seemed.

It wouldn't do to annoy the nurse further, the man gently shrugging out the top of his jumpsuit, exposing the yellow tank top he'd been having to wear underneath. He adjusted himself, making sure to keep the tissue to his nose, allowing Anya to have full access to his shoulder.

Anya had been checking on his injury every other day since he'd been shot, the nurse concerned about infection setting in since she'd had to open his injury further than the initial entry wound in order to get the bullet (and something about shards?) out.

Curly couldn't precisely remember what all she said had happened, but it was either the bullet had entered at an angle and gone through his muscular before getting lodged into his shoulder blade or it had just clipped the bone but didn't exit due to losing speed. Whichever one it was, it was annoying, that's for sure. Though, he figured it could have been worst since the woman had mentioned how bad things could have been if an artery had been hit.

Honestly, he was pretty lucky. Even with the pain he did experience, it was manageable due to the pain pills he was given, the drugs helping to numb the damn thing a good bit. Though, even then it got pretty irritated in the morning and later in the day as the medication wore off or when the wound decided to flare up.

The blond gently massaged his temple as Anya worked to cut away the bandaging with careful scissor work, the man pointedly looking away so he didn't have to look at the damaged shoulder. While the nurse said it was doing startling well, the Pony Express didn't exactly supply them with first rate supplies, he really just hated looking at it.

"Has your nose stopped bleeding?"

He blinked slowly, looking over and realizing that Daisuke was in there as well. Curly sniffed, pulling the tissue away to check. Gently pressing his fingers to his nostrils, he hummed faintly when he pulled away and saw just a few specks of red. "Lookin' like it," he said before inhaling sharply as he felt Anya begin to gently nudge the area surrounding his injury. The man shivered, fighting back the urge to shield away.

"Is it still tender?" This time it was Anya who spoke, Daisuke going back to whatever it was he'd been up to (looked like he was checking through their remaining medical supplies).

He managed a choked whisper, "Yeah."

"I'm going to apply some disinfectant, okay?"

Curly nodded. He tried not to squirm as he saw her reach for that fucking spray bottle out the corner of his eye.

He hissed out a breath as she got to work, clenching his good hand tightly, bouncing a foot as he scrunched his eyes closed. He hated this part so much, it always burned.

~

Anya worked quietly to re-wrap Curly's shoulder, feeling bad at how the man trembled the whole time. She would have spoken up, apologized maybe, but she didn't have the energy to talk to him all that much.

While the ache that had settled from being snapped at in the morning had faded to a low throb, it still hurt.

When she was done, she nudged his arm carefully, silently letting him know he could readjust the upper portion of his jumpsuit. The blond shakily did so, Anya figuring he'd probably turn tail the moment they were finished and leave her and Daisuke to their work. While he'd been getting better at apologizes, whenever he got skittish like this, it took him awhile to get his words into something proper.

She was surprised when the man spoke up instead, "T-Thank you, Anya." His voice trembled, as it usually did after these visits. The woman just nodded, pausing when Curly continued, "You, you can, uh, open t-that box now."

Box? She furrowed her brow, looking over before she remembered that odd package Curly had brought with him. She went over to where she'd last remembered it being, giving a small smile as Daisuke was already holding it out for her to take. "Thank you," she said softly before moving to sit down with it.

Anya raised a brow at the little note tied to the top, gently unfolding it. It read simply: 'To the smartest, kindest person I know.'

She gave a gentle hum, holding the paper tightly before refolding it and putting it in a pocket. She opened up the box next, blinking at its contents.

"Oh?" It was full of… origami flowers? "Uh, what is…?" She carefully began to pull them out, her confusion turning into an awed curiosity. There were so many, all differing colors and shapes, all delicately crafted with even green paper stems and leaves on some. "Did— did you make all these? I— how long did these take?"

Curly gave a one-shoulder shrug, "I… s-so it was a bit annoying with one hand, so, so I asked Swansea to help me with some, and— yeah, um I actually had quite a few of these already m-made from bit ago. I wanted to make more, but it was already getting close to the usual time and… yeah. They, well, uh… so, so it's kinda dumb—"

"Oh! I recognize what these are supposed to be," Daisuke interrupted, smiling as he held up one, "This purple one's a, uh, a hyacinth!"

"I-It is," the captain muttered.

"Does this mean what I think it means~?"

Curly flushed deeply, "Y-yeah."

Anya tilted her head, looking between the two men, "Am I missing something?"

"Ha! Nice." Daisuke grinned toothily, "It's flower language~!"

"Flower language?"

The captain didn't say a thing, looking away as his face reddened further.

"Flower language," Daisuke explained, waving his free hand, "Is like, so different flowers can have different meanings, sometimes different cultures have different ones but its honestly a lot to do in regards to color! This one?" He held up the origami hyacinth, "This one, because it's a purple hyacinth, represents a deep regret, an ask for forgiveness."

"Oh?" Anya glanced at Curly, his face turning several shades redder. "Is that so, Captain?"

"I-I… yeah. Something, uh, something like that." He hid his face behind his good hand, "Mhm…"

The woman hummed softly, picking up another flower, this one a lovely shade of yellow with three downward-curving petals. She twirled it by its paper stem, holding it over to Daisuke, "What about this one?"

Curly peeked out, quickly looking away again as Anya met his gaze.

"Oh! This is an iris, that's so cool, you even got the petals right!"

The woman rested her chin in a hand, she was guessing that Curly hadn't expected Daisuke to be around when he gave his gift. However he intended this apology, it very much was clearly embarrassing the man. And well, maybe Anya was finding it amusing how he squirmed. "And what's it mean?"

"So it's often to showcase a deep connection to someone, friendships, passion, or joy."

The woman gave a soft smile, "I'm guessing all these flowers have some meaning or another then?"

Curly gave a meek nod.

"So this is how you figured to apologize?"

Curly winced, "Yeah?"

She looked down at the box of flowers before giving a sigh, "I, I appreciate it. But… but I also want to hear you say it."

He rubbed at the back of his neck, looking at the ground. "I, I really do, I really appreciate y-you, you're genuinely so… so nice and clever and, and I'm regret what I said, I…" He cleared his throat, "I might've n-not wanted to hurt you, but… but that doesn't excuse what I did."

"No," she agreed, twirling another cluster of flowers, tracing each carefully folded petal, "Thank you… they're lovey."

He looked at her, giving a shaky smile. Anya returned it.

"Here, stay right there." She handed her flower off to Daisuke, who was still sorting through the differing paper flowers. She'd have to ask about each of the origami plant's meanings after this. "Hey, Daisuke, what's this one mean?"

She held up what looked to be a yellow rose, Daisuke humming before confirming her guess. "Yellow rose, those can also mean friendship, or like well wishes in general." She nodded, looking over to see Curly trying to slip back out the door.

"Curly!" He froze in place, turning around with a guilty expression. "Where do you think you're going?" He made a face and she rolled her eyes, "No matter, here, I think this one works."

She held the rose and watched as he blinked at it, shakily taking it before giving a tearful smile. "Oh— t-thank you."

"Just… please try not to do anything too stupid before we get to port, okay?"

He gave a nervous laugh. "Yes, ma'am."

"Thanks for the flowers, Curly."

"Thank you… for everything," he responded quietly. There was a weight to his words that made her stare after him as he left. She hummed, gently pulling out the little note from her pocket.

She reread it, smiling before moving to pin it up on her board.

~

It was approaching night when Anya next saw Curly, the man having finally come out from the cockpit again, though he hadn't joined the crew for dinner.

She'd been a bit worried that he'd been trying to isolate himself again, but thankfully, seeing him just chilling out in the common room helped diminish those nerves. Anya wondered if the tension of the day had messed with his appetite, though she figured she'd give him a chance to eat breakfast tomorrow before getting on his case about eating.

The man was just staring off into space when she cleared her throat to alert him of her presence. She couldn't help but notice how he'd tucked that paper rose into a breast pocket, Curly blinking up at her. "Oh, h-hi. Uh, here, I can head on out if you want—"

"Why would I want that?"

He stilled, looking at her before looking to his lap, "I, um… I know I upset you, and, and I know we… we're still friends but, I…" He trailed off, brow furrowing, "Aren't you s-still mad at me?"

"Mmm. A bit hurt still, but, well, nothing time can't ease, right?"

He grimaced, "I still messed up. I m-messed up so badly—"

"And I'm giving you a chance here, okay?"

Curly looked up at her, "Yeah?"

She nodded, moving to sit down nearby. The man watched her warily, so after a thoughtful moment, she eased the discussion elsewhere, "Only 31 more days until port."

He shakily nodded, bouncing a leg. "31 days," he echoed, "Cheers, eh?"

"Cheers," she chuckled, leaning back as she closed her eyes.

He hummed and she could feel the couch shift as he leaned back as well, probably to mimic her own posture. "I… s-speaking of port… I kinda had a fun idea for after we, uh, get him off the ship, wanna, um, wanna hear it?"

"Mmm?"

Some of the tension eased from his voice, "Okay, so this port, right? I've never actually spent more than a few hours there at best, and only ever to get supplies, always worried about the damned company, yeah?"

"Mhm." She wondered if their pay would be docked because of the whole Jimmy situation, or if maybe they'd still get fully paid since they were all being let go? Goodness, she'd have to figure out what she was going to do after that…

"Well, well… what if we, the whole crew, went out and just… explored the place?"

"What?" She blinked her eyes open to look over at him, seeing that he was giving her a nervous smile. "Won't we get in trouble or—"

He rolled his eyes, kicking his feet, "What they gonna do? Double fire us?"

Anya snorted, "I suppose…" She paused as Daisuke wandered over from where him and Swansea had been talking in the kitchen, "Hey."

Curly offered a little wave while Anya scooted over so the young man could sit as well. He practically plopped on down, "Hey, Curly?"

"Huh? What's up?"

"How do you know about making origami?" Anya straightened, she'd been wondering about that, but it had admittedly slipped her mind to ask the man.

"Oh yeah, you said Swansea helped but also that you had some of those flowers for a bit now, so do you have some books? I didn't think you could really look up much on the ship's internet?"

Curly blew a raspberry, looking up at the ceiling, "It's embarrassing."

"Captain, you sleep in hot pink shorts," Anya deadpanned.

He snorted, "And I look fuckin' great in 'em, thank you very much."

"Sooooooo…? Origami?" Daisuke pressed, leaning around to give Curly a pleading look.

"I, uh, might've picked up the hobby a few years back? It's stupid though—"

"Nuh-uh, that's awesome, Captain!" The intern scrambled up, "Wait— wait wait wait, does that mean… you have more!?"

Curly winced, glancing at Daisuke, "Maybeee?"

"Oh. My. Gosh. Curly! You have to show us now!"

"…it's not like I'm that good or, or it's, it's seriously just some stupid little thing—"

"Curly," Anya said, "Who said it was stupid?"

He cringed, the blond looking away before running his good hand through his hair.

"You know you're… you're allowed to have things you enjoy? Right, Daisuke?" She looked to her friend for back up, the young man straightening with a sharp couple of nods.

"Definitely, I like to press flowers and take pictures of landscapes! I also loooove reading mangas, it's fun! I mean, what's life without some simple joy?"

Their captain chewed on his lip before nodding slowly, a sheepish smile worming its way onto his face. "I-I, heh, I guess I could show yall…? I have more than, than just flowers."

"Well you have to show us now!"

Anya nodded in agreement, watching as the captain brightened, "Oh— okay! Uh, yall two just, uh, just stay here! I'll be, um, I'll be right back!"

He scrambled off the couch and gave a 'wait here' hand gesture before moving off towards the crew quarters. Swansea stalked into the room a few moments later, a plate with several brownies on it in hand, "The hell he's doing?"

"He's going to show us his origami," Daisuke grinned, pausing as he reached out to try and steal a brownie.

The mechanic swiped at his hand, glaring, "Brat, there's still some in the kitchen."

"But it's all the way over theereeee," the intern pouted.

Swansea was unmoved, rolling his eyes as he instead settled into his chair. "Idiot."

"Meanie," Daisuke sniffed in turn. And while Swansea certainly tried to hide it, Anya saw him smile.

Anya rolled her eyes fondly, moving to tuck her legs to her chest so she could rest her face on her knees.

It felt nice to just sit here with everyone, especially when Curly came rushing back in like a comet, a couple boxes being balanced awkwardly in his one armed grasp, "I'm back!"

The woman watched as the boys got to work pulling out little origami creation after little origami creation, setting them up on the table. She noticed even Swansea had taken interest, leaning forward a bit to get a better look. It made Anya smile, content to silently watch.

After awhile, she settled down to lay on her side, biting back a yawn. Anya closed her eyes and let the warmth of the moment wash over her.