14

Curly wasn't sure how long he'd been laid there, but he just couldn't seem to sleep. He wasn't exactly certain why though. He felt alright, hell, for once his head felt clear. It was like finally being able to breathe after only ever suffocating.

Yet. Here he was, wide awake, staring at the ceiling blankly. The blond sighed, moving to massage his temple when he heard a peculiar little sound. The man turned, squinting into the darkness until his eyes adjusted well enough to see Daisuke trembling something fierce from where he was curled up in his covers.

Curly winced as he sat up, "Hey? Daisuke?"

The younger didn't react, must've been asleep then. Hesitating only a moment more, Curly crept over to shake the guy's shoulder, "Hey? You alright?"

This time he got a response, Daisuke jerking sharply before giving a harsh, shuddering inhale as he awoke. The guy was blinking back tears and when he noticed Curly kneeled by his bedside, he almost instantly went to wiping off his face.

"C…Curly?"

Curly gently hushed him, "Anya's still sleeping. Sorry, it, ah, you looked upset, bad dream?"

The intern sniffled, rolling onto his back with the smallest nod. "Something l-like that, I… I-I, it was— just the— I… it w-was bad…"

"Wanna talk about it?"

Daisuke shook his head, moving to sit up. He took another shuddering breath in, dragging his legs to his chest, "Did… did I w-wake you up?"

"Nah," Curly muttered, "I was already up." The younger simply nodded before burying his face carefully against his knees, shoulders beginning to shake harder. The blond hummed and moved to ease his good arm around Daisuke in a halfway hug. "…this alright?"

A shaky nod as the guy leaned into the contact, Daisuke hiccuping a touch before he managed a few words. "I h-hate nightmares…"

"Heh, I know whatcha mean," Curly hummed.

"How… how do you get them to stop?"

"Uh, well, I… don't know," Daisuke's shoulders slumped at his words, the blond quickly trying to think of something to say to ease things. "But, ehm, well, nightmares are just weird ah, just weird made-up brain scenarios so, ain't nothin' to be rightly concerned with, yeah?"

"…I guess, um… can, can I sleep next to you t-tonight?"

Curly wrinkled his nose, having a feeling he was going to end up with a drooling Daisuke asleep against him in the morning. Christ, but the guy clearly needed this. The blond sighed, he could manage.

"Okay," he gave the guy a gentle hair ruffle before moving to slip on back to his bedsheets. Daisuke didn't need much convincing after that to grab his own blankets and drag them over next to Curly's.

Curly wasn't sure if either of them would actually manage much sleep with his own inability to fall asleep to begin with and the possible return of Daisuke's nightmares, but he figured they should try. The blond eased himself back down and buried his face into his pillow, "Night, man."

"…night."

~

Anya woke up to the sound of Swansea hacking up a lung in the hallway, the woman groggily rubbing her hands over her face. Slowly easing herself upright, she yawned widely, dragging herself up to her feet after a moment to gather her senses.

Looking off to the side, she admittedly jumped a bit when she met Curly's eye. The blond offered an awkward wave from where he was stuck on the floor with Daisuke tucked up against him. While the intern was curled up in a ball, he had his mouth wide-opened and was drooling fully onto the blond as he slept soundly.

"…morning, Curly." She snorted softly, moving to nudge on a pair of her slip-ons.

"Morning," Curly yawned, looking like he hadn't slept a wink.

"Looks like you're stuck, huh?"

The blond clicked his tongue, "He's… kinda clutching to my bad side. But I'd feel rather bloody'amn rude wakin' him."

"Need me to wake him then?"

The captain blew a strand of hair from his face, "…please."

Anya chuckled and moved to help the man out.

~

"Ya ready to head on back?" Curly asked with a tired smile, leaned against the kitchen counter with a warm cup of coffee in hand.

"I am, just, well I just hope the turbulence for leaving isn't as bad as entry," Anya mused, glancing over to the toaster with a hum.

The two were settled about as they fixed themselves breakfast, the crew idling about the common room as they all took their time to really wake up. Daisuke had practically dozed right back off to sleep at the table while, sat adjacent to the guy, Swansea fidgeted with the portable radio.

"You know… I really miss my mother, that's for sure," Anya sighed, crossing her arms. "I just hope she's doing okay, I can't imagine how much she's worrying."

"Christ, tell me about it. My mum's gonna be right on my ass about this whole shitshow, good ole 'I told you so' if you know what I mean." Curly shrugged, taking a sip from his mug, "Eh, at the very least, that new laptop setup should let us chat with em all after me and Swansea get the damn thing figured."

"Oh goodness, I can imagine," Anya shook her head. "Truthfully, it still baffles me that we can even get signals from earth."

"Mhmmm. Radio signals are something else, but ah, it's kinda nonsense when ya don't got a standing point for reference."

"Radio, huh?" Anya snorted, pulling out the toast as it popped up, passing a couple slices over to the captain's plate. Her and Curly kept talking as they began to serve themself the eggs and bacon Swansea had cooked for the crew earlier. "Well, as long as you two can understand it, I'll leave it to your expertise. You know, you keep surprising me with all this stuff."

The blond cocked his head to the side, balancing his plate in one hand (while he regained some of his ability to move it, it still held a bad shake to it) as he held his mug with the good one. "'All this stuff?'"

Anya dipped her head as she grabbed the two of them forks, "Oh, you know, the millions of hobbies and random talents you just happen to have. Playing chess, knowing the entirety of the Emu War, being able to label star charts by heart, etc. Honestly, I don't know what's all going on in your head half the time."

Curly rolled his eyes, "Says the woman that knows all the bones in the body by name, like Christ! I couldn't be bothered with all that mess."

Anya smiled, "Yet you can be bothered with knowing how to hotwire a car?"

"I regret telling you about that."

"Sure, sure, whatever you say, Captain." The man snorted, glancing off to the dining table as he heard Swansea finally turn the radio on to some absent channel. His smile faded as he saw Daisuke still sat there with his head buried into his arms, breathing deeply as he slept.

Curly tapped a finger against his mug with a sigh as they moved to sit down on the couch, "Bit outta left field, but has, well, has Daisuke said anything to you lately bout how he's been sleepin'?"

"No? Though he's been staying up later than usual… he say something to you?"

"Nope, but he was havin' some hell of a nightmare last night, was makin' noises in his sleep." The captain set his plate and mug down before flopping back into the cushions. He chewed on his lip a moment as Anya settled in nearby, "Seein' him all worked up kinda freaked me out a bit."

Anya hummed in understanding, "I'll keep an eye on him, try talk to him later… though speaking of sleeping, you get any last night?" She gave a strained little smile, "You don't exactly appear all that well rested either, Curly."

"Hhh, I'd love to say I slept like a baby, but yeah, nooope. Was kinda strange though, wasn't even a problem of dreaming or nothing, just couldn't fall asleep." He shrugged, bouncing a leg, "I think I'm just still, uh, all jittery from yesterday, so it should be fine."

"Well, if you need it, I got some things that could help you sleep."

"Mmm. I'ppreciate it," he accepted the fork she offered over to him with a nod. "At least Daisuke's gettin some rest now, even if I wish he'd go actually lie on down."

Anya just nodded in turn, settling back as she began to eat, looking up at the false sunrise on the display screen. Curly followed her gaze, the two easing into a comfortable silence.

—188 days until Home—

Another sleepless night. Curly rolling over with a sigh, glancing over at Daisuke who seemed to be sleeping alright for the meanwhile. The blond sighed, letting his eyes trail away.

Curly didn't know what the hell was up with himself. He'd been sleeping just fine until Mars! Now it was like he'd been tossed right on back to square one, though, even when he'd first 'woken up,' at least he had the nightmares to keep him company.

There was just nothing now. Either he blanked out before jolting awake or he didn't sleep in general. It was getting bloody annoying.

The man rubbed at an eye, dragging himself to his feet with a stretch. Curly rolled his shoulder gently, cringing at the stiffness in it. Eh, couldn't be helped, could it?

He tsked and left the room, figuring to kill time until everyone else woke up.

—185 days until Home—

Anya felt jittery as she finished up some of her tasks around the medical bay, sighing softly to herself as she set her check list off to the side. The woman ran a hand through her hair, chewing on the inside of her cheek thoughtfully.

Now that she thought about it, the ship in general had felt different since they'd left back for earth. Though she admittedly couldn't quite put her finger on what exactly had shifted.

~

"Hey, Swansea?"

The engineer grunted from where he was stood by the kitchen countertop, the man prepping for lunch by the looks of it.

"Have… you noticed anything off lately?"

The man turned to give Anya a raised brow, "Whatcha mean by that?"

"Just, okay, I… just something feels off about the ship?"

The man squinted, seeming to mull over her words before he set a hand against his hip. "Well, suppose it could be the fact the ship isn't carrying all that damned cargo no more. Less mass, ship carries itself different as a result."

Hmm. Maybe that was it? She nodded shallowly, letting her shoulders loosen. "Maybe? I'm not sure, but that would make sense… so what are you making?"

The mechanic didn't press her about the subject change, "Cheese quesadilla and rice. Simple stuff, wanna help out, hm?"

"Sure," she smiled.

~

Curly couldn't help but pace, opening and closing his hands as he went about in circles.

He huffed, placing his hands on his hips as he tapped a foot sharply, "Jeez… you'd think not sleepin' woulda make ya less energetic…"

The man shook his head and went back to his pacing until someone would show up to drag him from the cockpit to lunch.

~

Anya was halfway dozing as she sat next to Daisuke, Curly still up and pacing like he'd been doing the last few days. The three of them probably should have headed to bed by then, but none of them moved to start heading to one of their rooms for their nightly little sleepover.

"Christ, what the hell are you three doing?"

Curly jolted a moment at Swansea's voice, looking over to stare at the man while Daisuke gave a half-hearted wave. Anya was the one to force words out, "Can't sleep."

"All three of you knuckleheads, huh?" The man moved away from the kitchen where he'd apparently decided to have a snack on some of dinner's leftovers, seeing as he had a plate of them held in one hand.

Like the rest of them, he hadn't started wearing his work uniform again, though he'd changed out of his earlier worn jeans and blue polo for a white tank top paired with black sweatpants. The man cleared his throat with a grunt, sitting down in his chair as he eyed them. "You all look like shit."

Anya snorted, adjusting herself as Daisuke moved to lay down so he could rest his head in her lap with a sigh. She began to play with her friend's hair as the guy stared blankly at the ceiling, looking like he was actively fighting sleep.

"Just… somet'ing don't feel right" Curly spoke up, voice low. He had gone back to his pacing.

"Mhphm." Swansea began to pick at his plate with a thoughtful hum, "Guess it isn't the damn cargo then, only other thing I can t'ink of is that rat's off the ship now."

Curly stopped, squinting, "Could that be it…? I-I saw him'eaded off though, though that would…" The blond slowly moved to crouch on the ground, clutching his hair with his good hand, "I don't know, that could make some sense…?"

"Curly, go sit on the fucking couch, you idiot."

The blond took a moment to stagger to his feet before listening to Swansea and curling up on the couch with a thoughtful look.

"…I suppose we have gotten used to him just kinda being a dark spot in the back of our minds," Anya said quietly. She began to make little braids in Daisuke's hair, the guy closing his eyes with a gentle little frown. "I… I didn't realize how, uh, how different things would feel without worrying about Jim."

"Well, he isn't any of your problem no more," Swansea nodded absently, "Good riddance."

Curly gave a weak laugh, "Cheers."

~

They ended up staying in the common room as, one by one, all of them save for Swansea fell asleep. They just couldn't stay awake any longer. When the mechanic was the only crew member still awake, he got up to tidy things up firstly. Cleaned his plate off, put up some of the dried dishes from dinner, and swept the floor a bit.

When satisfied, he moved back to check on his sleep-deprived crewmates, tossing some blankets over the idiots.

The older man wandered off to find the radio then, grabbing the old thing and heading on back to his chair, propping the radio on the coffee table before setting the thing on a low volume. Swansea folded his hands in his lap and kicked back, the soft music putting his own wary mind to ease.

—183 days until Home—

Curly didn't remember falling asleep, but he woke up hearing quiet sobs, groggily sitting up and looking around for the source. He wasn't all that surprised when he saw who it was, though he felt his heart clench at the sight all the same.

"Jesus," he muttered softly, moving to wake up Daisuke from his latest nightmare. "Hey? C'mon, wake up."

Unlike the last few times this had happened, the young man didn't wake up as easily. Curly shook him a bit sharper, jumping a bit as finally the guy jolted awake with a strangled scream, the blond hearing a sharp rustle of blankets and sheets from Anya's bed.

"Boys?" Hearing her voice confirmed that it had been enough to wake Anya as well. "What— what was that?"

"Nightmare," Curly sighed as he dragged Daisuke into a hug, the guy shaking badly as he broke into messy sobs. "A… real bad one it seems."

The man could hear her get up from her bed and shuffle over, "…Oh, Daisuke."

"S-s-sorry— I-I d-didn't make— di-didn't make— it, I'm s—hhh— sorry— I—"

Curly rubbed at the younger man's back, humming softly, "Just breathe, alright?"

More slurred apologies left the guy's mouth as he buried his face further into Curly's chest, hiccuping and sobbing until he was making the most goddawful whimpering-squeaks. It hurt to listen to.

Anya moved to join the hug, laying her head against the intern's shoulder as he cried. "Hey," her voice was steady and smooth, "It's alright. You're alright."

It took nearly half an hour (or maybe longer) for Daisuke's tears to run dry. But by then, the guy was already falling back into sleep, leaning against Anya now as Curly moved to drag his blankets and sheets over so they could bundle the guy up.

"Hey, Curly?"

He made a faint sound as he moved to gently ease Daisuke off of Anya so his head would instead rest against the gathered pillows.

"I think I might know what his nightmares are about."

The blond perked up, tucking a blanket around Daisuke as the guy sniffled. "Yeah?"

"I… he keeps bringing up 'not making it in time.' I, ah, I think he might be talking about, uh, Jimmy's episode." She ran a hand through her hair with a shudder, glancing over Daisuke's face.

"When…" Curly gave a confused hum as he tilted his head, though she could see when it dawned on him. "Oh."

"Yeah…" She shifted so she was sat criss-cross, "I think… with Jimmy not around anymore that it's probably the trauma catching up with him, and well, his brain trying to process things while also feeding off his nerves and fears."

"Mmm, is, uh, is that a thing?"

Anya nodded, moving to brush a few tears away from Daisuke's face. "I guess… we all just need to keep an eye on one another for now, okay?"

Curly gave a half-smile, "Yes, ma'am."

~

"You gonna eat or what, kid?"

Anya could see Daisuke stir from where he was sat, the guy's dinner untouched.

"W-What?"

"You a space cadet nowadays, hm? I asked if you're just going to sit there and let your damn food get cold."

Daisuke grimaced, scratching at his chin, "Oh… uh, yeah? Um, sure, sure… coolaroo."

Anya echoed him with a raised brow, "Coolaroo…?"

"…you aight?" Curly asked with a tilt of the head.

The intern gave a cheap shrug, rubbing at a wrist with a little laugh, "Honestly? I-I dunno, man. I… something's up with me, kinda like… super dumb, right?"

"Still havin' em nightmares or some crap like that?" Swansea huffed, gesturing with his fork, "Your eyebags are starting to rival the good ole Cap'tin's."

"Hey! I don't have… okay, they're just… shut up." Curly looked away with a huff, muttering softly to himself.

"Whatever you say, Curls, my point still stands."

Daisuke leaned back with a loud raspberry, arms crossed as he kicked his chair back so it was awkwardly balancing on the back legs. "I, like, I just… I keep seeing things replay in my mind a-and it like, freaks me out. Like crazy bad."

"I hate when that shit happens," Curly chuckled, taking a bite of his dinner before he leaned his elbows against the table. "Bloody fuckin' brain bullshit, yeah?"

"…yeah." Daisuke sniffled, wiping at his face as he looked to the side, "J-Just… just like, dude, we coulda like, straight up died."

"But we didn't," Swansea grumbled, Anya nodding along to the older man's words.

"I know that!" The intern moved to wipe at his face with both hands as his chair fell forward onto all four legs again, "But, but like— like I can't stop thinking about it! He— he had a fucking gun! A gun that was pointed at you, Anya!?"

"I remember," Anya shivered, rubbing at an arm, "But, but I'm okay."

"But what if you weren't!? I mean— like— just someone did get shot! Curly, dude! You looked dead! You, you just like, just… I-I was, it was hella scary! Then, he like, he like pulled a knife— I had my face s-sliced open!"

The guy made a strained laugh, waving at the stitched injury on his face, "I, I will like ca-carry this forever, man… forever."

"I mean, it don't look too bad?" Curly offered, rubbing at the back of his neck. He winced and looked sharply over at Swansea, who Anya was pretty sure just kicked the blond under the table.

"That's not the point!" Daisuke dragged a hand over his eyes, voice breaking into a sob, "I—I like, like really care about you guys… I don't want anything bad happenin' to anyone!"

Anya moved to walk over and tug him into a hug, burying her face into his shoulder, "Hey… hey we're all okay. We are all safe."

"I… I just can't stop seeing all the blood. Sometime… sometimes e-even when I'm awake now," The intern hiccuped, "I'm scared."

"Well…" The woman sighed, carding a hand through her friend's hair, "It was terrifying… but it's over. Right?"

A shallow nod and a sniffle.

She managed a weak smile, "We'll be just fine."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

—182 days until Home—

"Captain, what in the hell am I lookin' at here?"

Curly jolted upright, looking over at Swansea wide-eyed before looking back to the table and the dismantled toaster before himself. "Uh… toaster."

The older pinched his brow with a heavy sigh, "I… I can see that. But, fucking, why?"

Curly looked back down before blinking slowly, "Uhhh… I don't know actually."

"…you worry me sometimes."

"Mmmm. I think I know how to put it back together though!"

Swansea made a face, "…do you really?"

"…mayyyybe?"

"I'll go get my fucking tools," he sighed.

—180 days until Home—

Anya took a deep breath in before carefully letting it out, fidgeting with her door's lock. Honestly, she'd been trying to sleep without it for a while now, but the thought of doing so alone currently made her stomach churn.

She'd told the boys she'd be fine, just a small nap while they helped Swansea out with that vent. But now that she was here? Just her? Her skin was beginning to crawl and it was getting harder to breathe.

"I-I'm fine," she said softly to herself, inhaling shakily. "I'm okay. I'm fine…"

There was nothing to be worried about. No one would hurt her. Anya unlocked the door, moving a step back as her arms came up to hug herself. "It's going to be, it'll be okay…"

She moved to sit on her bed, cautiously curling up on her side. Tears pricked her eyes, gaze tracing the door as her heart began to beat faster, blood pounding in her ears.

Anya scrambled back over and locked it before she knew what she was doing. She took in a few sharp breaths before crumbling next to the door and burying her face in her hands.

—179 days until Home—

"Hey, Captain?"

Curly hummed, looking up from the laptop, the man having been trying to figure why the damn thing was loading so bloody slow.

Anya stood there, brushing her hair back with a tired smile, "How's things going?"

The blond sighed, leaning back to gesture at the screen, "Bloody thing's fuckin' pain'n'ass." He covered his mouth with a hand as a yawn forced its way up, "How're ya'doin'?"

"I'm okay, just, uh, tired?"

"Cheers," Curly snorted, rubbing a hand down his face, "Dinner ready or somethin'?"

"…dinner was couple hours ago, Curly."

"Damn, wassit now?" He peered at the time displayed on the screen, clicking his tongue. "Mmmm… this clock's behin'ain't it?"

Anya gave him a look, "Swansea said he came in here and told you."

"Eh, did'e now?" The captain squinted back to the laptop, clicking the keyboard a few times, "…just leave some'it out for me, yeah?"

He scowled, clicking the keyboard a few more times, watching as the blasted thing registered each letter several seconds too slow for his liking, "Stupid'bloody compu'er. Fuckin' take damned hammer to ya, why don't I, eh?"

"Captain…?"

Curly jumped, looking back over with a frown, "Hm, yeah?" Anya was still stood there for some reason, the man tilting his head at her.

"Don't you think you should go to bed soon?"

He snorted, rolling his eyes as he looked to the laptop, "Imma'jus'fine."

"You're slurring your words together." She sighed, moving to push the laptop closed, Curly having to fight back a snap. He glared instead, Anya staring steadily back. "I know you've been skipping sleep, the lock makes a notable click when you're trying to open it quietly."

"M'bloody'amn fine," he grumbled, rubbing at his temple as he waved his good hand harshly, "Just lemme'getton back'to my work, yeah?"

"Curly."

"Anya," he snarked back.

"You're being a dick right now," she muttered, crossing her arms over her chest.

He clicked his tongue, bouncing his leg sharply. Curly looked off to the side with a heavy sigh, "Sorry… Christ, jus'wanna get t'is thing workin, yeah?"

"It can wait, can't it?"

"Ain't like Imma get much sleep either way," the man groaned, leaning his head back to glare at the ceiling, "At leas'if Imma workin' this, ya know, Imma doin' somet'ing."

Anya moved to lean against the back of his chair so they were facing each other, Curly's eyes trailing along to count her freckles rather than meet her gaze. "I can get you something like melatonin, that should help. Or… ah, are you having bad dreams at all…?"

"Mmmm… just trouble gettin' sleep."

He could see the way she nodded, letting his eyes unfocus so she was just a vaguely Anya-shaped blur. "I'll be back, okay?"

Curly just tiredly held up an 'ok' hand signal, closing his eyes as he fought back another yawn. Nothing like having to be drugged to catch a wink of sleep, he snorted faintly to himself before moving to bury his face in his hands.

—178 days until Home—

"Now let's see if this does it…" Swansea muttered as him and Curly sat before the laptop. The mechanic clicked the keyboard before giving a thoughtful hum.

"…is, is that good?" Curly asked slowly, glancing between the older man and the laptop.

"Mhmm. Its responding faster than the last few times, now let's see if I can get a message to send through."

—174 days until Home—

"Anyaaaaaaaaaa!"

The woman woke up with a start, blinking a few times as she tried to figure where in the world she was. She sat up, flinching as she felt her elbow accidentally gut check someone.

There was a loud snort and when she looked over she saw Swansea sitting up with a groggy stare. Anya blinked back at him, giving a sheepish wave. The man blinked slowly, rubbing a hand down his face, "What the hell, kid?"

"Sorry," she laughed weakly, looking around for who had shouted her name. "Daisuke…?"

The guy blinked back, looking past the two of them towards the laptop propped up on the coffee table, "Were you guys watching movies without me!?"

"Was nothing you'd be interested in," Swansea grunted, moving to lean back against the couch with a wide yawn.

"What did you need?" Anya hummed, stretching her arms over her head.

"Uhhhhh…" Daisuke made a face, looking off to the side. "I… think I forgot."

"Great." Swansea cleared his throat loudly as he got up to his feet, cracking his back with a grumble. "Well, I'm up, now. Curly's making dinner tonight so no one bother me until then, got it?"

"Okie dokie, boss!"

"Oh, okay. Bye." Anya yawned as she watched the mechanic wander off before looking back to Daisuke. "Wanna watch crappy reality shows with me?"

The guy perked up, practically vaulting over the back of the couch to flop down besides her, beaming at her, "Yes!"

—173 days until Home—

"You look tired, sweetheart."

Curly couldn't help but chuckle, dragging his hand through his hair as he adjusted the laptop in his lap, "I am, mum. I'm, heh, I'm really tired."

"I told you not to hang around that Jimmy boy," she muttered, rubbing at her eyelids, "How longer until you all get done with this mess, dear?"

"Off the top my head…? We still have a little over five months—"

"—Curly where the hell is my fucking wrench, boy!"

Curly glanced over his shoulder with a shout, "OI! DON'T FUCKIN CURSE WHILE IMMA CALLIN ME MUM!"

"WHERE'S MY GODDAMNED WRENCH, CURLY!?"

The blond could hear his mother fighting back laughter on the other end of the video call, blushing as he turned back to the screen, "I'll be right back, mum, swears'it!"

"Okay, go get Swansea his 'goddamned' wrench back."

"Mum!"

~

"Māmā, it's okay, really! It doesn't really hurt anymore!"

Daisuke blew his hair back as he propped his chin in his hands, kicking his feet as his māmā peered into the camera with a frown, "You sure about that. E taku kōmata, i—it l-looks—" The intern scowled a moment as the laptop buffered, gently tapping the top of it.

"Māmā? You're cutting out, hello?"

"C—Can you hear me now? Daisuke—?"

"Gimme a moment! I'll be right back, gonna get boss to take a look at things!" The guy rolled off Anya's bed to go find Swansea.

~

"What if we did like a massive call with all our families in it," Daisuke grinned as he re-painted Curly's nails, "Like, that could be so fun!"

Curly snorted, "I really don't think that would work, especially considering the difference in time zones."

"Oh yeah… uhhhhhh, well can I say hi to your mom next time you call her?"

"I guess…? Why do you want to talk with my mum though?"

"Cause why not!" Daisuke hummed, pausing to wave at Anya as the woman walked by with her textbooks. She smiled back, adjusting the glasses she was wearing at the moment before continuing to the medbay. The intern turned back to the captain, "I'll let you say hi to my parents!"

The blond snorted, "Okay?"

—169 days until Home—

Anya gently brushed her hands through Daisuke's hair as he sniffled, another nightmare having woken the guy up. "Was it one of the usual ones?"

He shook his head with a broken laugh, "N-No, my parents, they, uh, they were on the ship this time."

"Did… did they get hurt?"

A small sob slipped out as Daisuke nodded, "Badly."

"…I had one where my mother was in my place," Anya admitted. "And, I, yeah. I c-couldn't do anything. So… I get it."

"Wh-when was that?" He moved to hold her face in his hands with a frown, "You've been… you've been having nightmares, too?"

"Yeah," she sighed. "It's okay though, I know it's not real—"

"That d-doesn't make it less upsetting." Daisuke moved to sit up, wiping at his face a moment before hugging Anya tightly. "You c-can talk to me, too, you know?"

She hummed, hugging him back with a sigh. "I know."

~

It was the dead of the night and Curly was sat in the cockpit. While he'd managed to sleep for a few hours with the help of some kind of medication or another, he started having one reallyyyy weird dream about fish talking about philosophy.

He'd woken up and not wanting to test his luck with what his mind would come up with next, he went on to walk about the ship to check on some things. And as with these late night walks, he ended up in the cockpit. Honestly, he hadn't even realized he'd sat down in Jimmy's old seat rather than his own chair, just letting his mind wander as he stared at the ceiling.

The captain yawned, rubbing at his eye, the damn thing starting to act up the longer his sleep schedule suffered. It was as he was doing this that he noticed something stuck in the seat cushion.

"What in the…?" He grabbed at the slip of paper before stiffening when he realized it was a photo.

He hadn't thought Jim would have even kept that old photo, tilting his head at the image. It was them stood together on the brunet's first day of work. While Jim looked less than enthused, he still had half a smile on his face compared with Curly's own beaming grin.

He blew out a breath, curling up as he stared it over. Christ, had that only been a couple of years ago?

"…why wasn't I enough for you?"

—165 days until Home—

"Curly, you in here?"

The blond grumbled under his breath from where he sat in his captain's chair, raising a hand in cheap greeting. He didn't need to bother turning around to see it was Swansea.

"You look lot worst than usual."

"Wow, thanks," Curly leaned back in his chair to scowl up at the older man, "Ya just c'mon in here to be a right twat?"

"You been holing up here for the last days, you know you can't keep eatin' your meals in here and pretending that you're getting actual sleep, you know that, right?"

"Dunno whatcha talkin'bout." He leaned his chin on a fist, taking in a deep breath before letting it out in a shaky sigh. "Just let me be."

"Mphm. Listen here you stubborn bastard, I will fucking drag your ass out of here. So either you get up out that chair or so help me," Curly jumped a bit as a hand planted solidly onto his good shoulder, forcing him to look up at Swansea. "I will sling you over my shoulder like a damned sack'potatoes, do I make myself clear, boy?"

The blond shrank back, looking off to the side, "…your knees too bad for that kinda thing."

"You want to test me?"

"N-no, sir."

"Then cmon. We're gonna go and sit down with the crew, and either you start talkin' bout what's got you moping or you work on it, deal?"

Curly sighed, looking up with a grimace, "I'm lot more trouble than I'm worth, ya know?"

"The hell you talkin bout?"

"Just… just I c-can't seem to keep anything good in my life, something always happens and— and just, I keep thinkin' back to the fact he was only on this damned ship because of me."

Curly barked out a laugh, burying his face in his hands, "Christ— everything I coulda done differently! It just keeps on aching and hurtin' and I'm so fucking tired! I can't sleep, I'm feelin' sick again when I try to eat and— and, I just… I've been seeing shit, Swansea."

"Seeing shit?"

He looked up through the building tears, "I k-keep seeing shadows outta corner of my eyes, smelling smoke, hearing things— just, just I swear I can taste blood in my mouth! Even now, I— I thought it was stress or something but, but it's like a pressure's building and I just… I just don't, I want to… I don't know."

"Mmmm, and what have I said about this bullcrap, Curly?"

"…not to let it get this bad'fore reachin'out to yall…"

"That's right," Swansea sighed, patting his shoulder. "What else?"

"I… I aint alone no more?"

"Now keep that in your noggin. You are not a lost cause and no one's callin' it quits on you just because you got a few screws loose."

The blond couldn't help but laugh, rubbing at his face, "I'm sorry, just… s-sorry, I'm a bloody mess, yeah?"

"We all are, kid. Certified shipful of messes, eh?"

The captain leaned back with a nod, "…Imma… Imma take moment, then, then we can head'on over with the rest of the crew."

"Remember how to breathe."

He snorted with a nod, letting some of the tension fall from his shoulders. He just… need to breathe. Yeah, he could do that.

—157 days until Home—

"Curly… you awake?"

The man hummed from where he was curled up on the couch, having apparently falling asleep out there, "Wassit?"

"Do… do you wanna help me bake something?"

"Mmmm… been a bit, hasn't it?" Curly yawned, blinking tiredly.

"Yeah, it, uh, it has."

"Whatcha thinkin'?"

Daisuke brushed back his hair with a wry smile, "Swansea's wife sent a recipe for chocolate chip cookies the other day."

Curly chuckled, moving to sit up, "That so?"

"Mhhhhmmmm!"

"You can count me in."

~

Anya shuffled into the kitchen with a tired look at the countertops, covering a yawn with a hand as she looked at the couple of pans sat out. Looked to be cookies, though she couldn't tell if they were raisins or chocolate chip, having not yet put her contacts in.

"Anya, you're up early!"

She glanced over to smile at her friends, Daisuke looking tired but content. Curly was lazily leaned against the younger, offering a wave. The captain was certainly looking better this last week than he had been for most of the return trip so far.

"Mhm, noticed you two weren't in the room so I thought you might've been out here." She glanced over the countertop with a smile, "I see you two were taking an interest in baking again."

"Mhm mhm! Miss Carroll sent the recipe!"

"That's Swansea's wife, right?"

"Yup! She's so cool!" Daisuke stretched with a big yawn, "Annnnd! Is like, uh, a big thank you gift for Swansea."

Curly nodded, speaking up quietly, "He's… certainly done a lot, cheers, eh?"

Anya nodded gently, moving to settle on the couch with the two, "For sure, I don't think I could ever put it fully into words what he's done for me."

Daisuke nodded, propped his chin in his hands, "Yeah. You know, in a weird way, despite all the bad stuff… it, uh, it kinda led to some good times, like, just… I dunno if that makes sense?"

Curly spoke up as he fiddled with his hair, voice still soft and light, "One big brilliant mess of things… but, well, ain't exactly all in a bad way. Just. Messy as reality gets."

—154 days until Home—

It wasn't hard to figure who was around when the radio was playing. Everyone seemed go have their own defined taste when it came to music afterall.

"How you doing, Swans?"

"What was it, Captain?" The mechanic looked over from his notebook, raising a brow.

The blond wandered over to settle down as well at the table, laying his head on his arms as he stared over to the radio. "How you doing? I… I feel like I ain't asked ya how you been doin' as much as you been asking me how's I been."

"Mmm, can't complain, doing as I can."

"Are you… alright? I know everyone's still processing things in their own way."

The man gave a wry grin, raising a brow as Curly glanced over at him. "Not my first shitshow, kid. And if I got anything to say bout it, won't be my last either. If there's one way to prove you ain't dead, is to show life you aren't just gonna roll over."

"I guess so… mind if I just, uh, rest here awhile? Listen to the radio with you?"

"Go right on ahead, Curly."

The blond sighed, closing his eyes with a nod. Just listening to the absent melodies playing and the sound of Swansea's pencil against the paper of his notebook.

—148 days until Home—

Anya hummed a soft lullaby as she ran her fingers through Daisuke's hair, the two of them leaned against one another as she braided his hair and the intern played on his gameboy. Curly was nearby, though the man was fast asleep, curled up tightly in his blankets.

It was early in the morning and by silent agreement it seemed everyone had figured to take it slow and idle. Anya didn't gave a single objection to it, taking in the fact that they could all just exist in this moment.

Everyone whole and safe.

—144 days until Home—

Swansea stared at the captain and intern as the two ate packets of sweetener with little seeming shame or shyness. The two knuckleheads sat up on the counter as they chattered to one another about whatever it was flitting through their heads.

The man shook his head, having a moment where he thought to just go over there to scold them. But well, he just huffed and headed on his way. He figured, for now, he'd let the two have it.

—143 days until Home—

"Captain?

"Wassit, Daisuke?" The man didn't turn from where he was curled up in the co-pilot's chair, legs tucked up to his chest.

"Mind if I sit in here with you?"

A subtle shake of the head was all the intern needed to stride over and, after a moment of hesitation, sit in the captain's chair. The guy shifted about until comfortable, glancing over to the captain.

Curly still hadn't looked over at him, though seeing by the moisture clinging to the blond's cheeks, Daisuke imagined the guy's eyes were probably wet with tears. He gave a little frown before having an idea, pulling out his headphones and music player from a pocket.

"Hey, you ever listen to Lofi stuff? I like listening to it when I'm like, feeling all existential and crap."

"Yeah?" The other croaked, wiping at his face as he turned to look over.

"Yup!" Daisuke plugged in his headphones before shuffling a bit closer, putting one in before offering Curly the other one.

The man hesitated only a moment before leaning in to take it. Daisuke smiled and clicked play, settling in as Curly sighed and closed his eyes.

—137 days until Home—

Anya snorted as the dice went bouncing off onto the floor, Daisuke yelping and scurrying after it. She looked over at Swansea with a snort, "I'm going to take that as a sign I'm winning this game."

Swansea gave a laugh, leaning forward to rest his hands on his knees with a raised brow, "That so?"

"Mhmmm—"

"Nuh-uh!" Daisuke interrupted, "I'm like, so gonna win this, and— and! I'll beat you before Captain's even done with dinner!"

"That so?"

"Yeah!"

Anya smirked, leaning in to grab the dice from her friend's hand, "Go ahead and move then so I can kick your ass faster."

—130 days until Home—

"Do you ever think about the stars out there?" Curly raised a hand out towards the blank ceiling, pretending for a moment that if he squinted just right, he could see the billions of stars beyond the metal.

"I suppose on occasion," Anya replied, laid down on the floor next to him, her eyes closed and her arms resting over her chest. "Feels a bit scary to think of though."

"Scary, hm?"

"You know, just all that… empty space? Or well… I suppose it's not empty, just expansive, going on as far as we can imagine…"

Curly hummed, tilting his head as he closed one eye. "I think it's kinda comforting, the fact that, despite how big everything is, we're just tiny parts in the big scheme of it."

"Makes me feel small," his friend hummed.

"Yeah… I think I've felt smaller though."

"That so?"

The blond nodded, keeping his eye trained upwards, "When I could do nothing but lie on that table, I felt like… a ghost I guess. Just, just kinda watching everything happen, everything and everyone just within reach and yet…" He extended his fingers as though to touch some unknown presence before clenching his hand into a fist. "Being able to do nothing."

Anya looked over at him with a somber hum, "Well… we're here now, right?"

He sighed, moving to rest his arms by his side. He could feel the flames still. If he focused just enough, he could feel it all over again. The aches, the agony, the abuse.

Curly let out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding, opening his other eye with a nod. "Yeah… we're here now."

"Just… two parts of the big picture."

"Cheers to that."

"Yeah," she smiled, "Cheers."