chapter eleven

Liam's POV

I barely remembered how I got home.

The entire night played on repeat in my head—the way Rafe had touched me, kissed me, owned me in that moment. I could still feel his hands gripping my waist, the heat of his body pressing into mine, the way my own damn body had betrayed me by wanting more.

"Fuck."

I threw my jacket onto the floor, running a hand through my hair as I paced my room. My lips still tingled, swollen from his kiss, and no matter how much I tried to shove it down, a part of me wanted to go back and do it again.

"No."

I stopped in front of the mirror, staring at my reflection like I could force myself to be different. I was a Beta. I was supposed to stand beside my Alpha, lead my pack, be strong not be pinned against a damn wall by him.

Not crave it.

A growl rumbled in my chest, but it wasn't anger. It was frustration.

The moment I let my guard down, I let Rafe in. And now… now I was stuck with the feeling of him, burned into my skin.

I shook my head. I have to reject him. This can't happen again.

But deep down, I knew

I was already too far gone.

I collapsed onto my bed, staring at the ceiling, trying to steady my breathing. But the second I closed my eyes, he was there again his scent, his touch, the way his lips had moved against mine like he had all the time in the world.

"Damn it."

I turned onto my side, gripping my pillow. This had to stop. I needed to focus on what really mattered my pack, my responsibilities, my position.

What would they think if they found out?

What would Axel think?

I swallowed hard. My stomach twisted at the thought of my Alpha's disappointment. The pack had hated Rafe's for years, even before Axel and I took over. Our fathers had been enemies. Their blood was on our hands, and ours was on theirs.

How was I supposed to throw all of that away for a mate bond?

I wasn't.

I couldn't.

I forced myself up, dragging a hand down my face. Sleep wasn't happening, not with my mind like this.

I need a distraction.

Without thinking, I grabbed my training gear. If I couldn't stop my thoughts, I'd beat them out

The night air was cool against my skin as I made my way to the training grounds, but it did nothing to calm the storm raging inside me. My body still ached from earlier from him. From his touch, his kiss, the way he had whispered those damn words.

"I want you. I could die without you."

I growled, shoving the memory down and focusing on the punching bag in front of me. I needed to clear my head. I needed to forget.

My fists slammed into the bag.

Once.

Twice.

Again.

Harder.

I poured everything into each hit—anger, confusion, the unbearable heat that still lingered in my veins. My arms burned, my knuckles ached, but I didn't stop.

"This isn't real. This isn't happening."

I swung again, harder this time, but the bag barely moved before a hand caught it.

"That's enough," Axel's voice came from behind me.

I froze, my breathing heavy. He stepped around the bag, eyes scanning me with a sharpness I couldn't escape.

"You wanna tell me what the hell is going on with you?"

I exhaled slowly, shaking my head. "Nothing."

"Liam," he said, and I hated the way his tone softened. "You know you can talk to me, right?"

I clenched my jaw. No, I can't. Not about this.

Instead, I forced a smirk. "I think I just need to hit something."

Axel didn't look convinced, but he nodded. "Alright. Then hit me."

I blinked. "What?"

"You need to clear your head? Fine. Spar with me."

I hesitated, but I knew Axel wouldn't let me leave until I gave him something. So I rolled my shoulders, took my stance, and threw the first punch.

Axel blocked my punch with ease, his stance firm. "That all you got?" he taunted.

I gritted my teeth and swung again, faster this time. He dodged, stepping back smoothly, his eyes never leaving mine.

"You're too tense," he noted. "You're thinking too much."

"I'm not thinking," I snapped, throwing another punch.

This time, he didn't dodge he caught my wrist and twisted, forcing me to pivot or risk getting pinned. I reacted on instinct, slamming my elbow toward his ribs. He barely blocked in time, but I saw the flicker of approval in his eyes.

"Better," he muttered.

I didn't give him time to recover. I swept my leg out, aiming for his knee. He jumped back, but I followed, pressing forward with a series of rapid strikes each one fueled by frustration, anger, and something I refused to name.

Axel grunted as one of my punches landed against his side, but the moment of victory was short-lived. He moved like lightning, grabbing my arm and yanking me forward, using my momentum against me. In a blink, I was off balance—

And then I was on the ground, my back slamming into the dirt.

Axel straddled me, pinning my wrists above my head. "You're strong," he said, slightly out of breath. "But you're letting something mess with your focus."

I thrashed, trying to break free. "Get off me."

"Not until you tell me what's wrong," he pushed, his voice more serious now. "You've been acting weird since the party. You were avoiding Rafe, and now you're out here trying to kill this punching bag. Talk to me, Liam."

I glared up at him, my chest heaving. "There's nothing to talk about."

"Liar."

I growled, using my legs to try and throw him off, but Axel held firm. "You gonna tell me, or do I have to beat it out of you?"

I snapped.

Summoning all my strength, I twisted hard, managing to shove him off balance. In a second, I reversed our positions, flipping us so I was on top. My fists slammed into his defenses, fast and unrelenting.

Axel grunted as one of my hits broke through, catching his jaw. I felt the satisfying crack of impact, but the satisfaction didn't last—

Because in the next instant, he struck back.

His fist collided with my ribs, knocking the wind out of me. Pain flared through my side, but I forced myself to push through it. I went for his shoulder, but Axel saw it coming—

And the next thing I knew, I was flat on my back again, gasping for breath.

Axel crouched beside me, wiping a bit of blood from his lip. "Feel better?"

I groaned. "Screw you."

"That's a no," he muttered. He studied me for a long moment, then sighed. "Look, I don't know what's going on in that thick skull of yours, but whatever it is, you don't have to deal with it alone. If you need to talk—"

"I don't," I interrupted, pushing myself up. My ribs ached, but I ignored it. "I just need to train harder."

Axel frowned but didn't push. "Fine. But don't push yourself too hard, Liam. Even the strongest Betas break if they carry too much alone."

His words lingered as I walked away, the weight of everything pressing down on me.

Too late for that.

By the time I got home, my body ached from training, but my mind was worse. I couldn't stop replaying everything Axel's words, Rafe's touch, the way my body betrayed me whenever he was near.

I yanked off my shirt and threw it aside, pacing my room.

I need to reject him.

I have to.

This bond is dangerous. It's wrong. I'm a Beta. A leader. What would my pack think if I gave in? If I—

I stopped pacing, dragging a hand down my face. My reflection in the mirror stared back at me, eyes filled with exhaustion and something else. Something I didn't want to name.

Damn it.

With a frustrated sigh, I collapsed onto my bed, shutting my eyes.

But sleep didn't bring peace.

It brought him.

---

I was standing in the woods, the moon casting a silver glow around me. The air was thick with tension, my heart racing for no reason.

Then I felt it.

Him.

A presence behind me. Heat curling around me.

I turned, and there he was Rafe.

His dark eyes burned into mine, his expression unreadable. I knew I should step back, put space between us, but my feet wouldn't move. My breath caught when he reached for me, fingers skimming over my jaw, down my neck, lingering over my pulse.

"Why do you fight it?" he murmured, his voice low and rough.

I swallowed hard. "Because I have to."

Rafe's lips twitched. "Liar."

Before I could protest, he yanked me forward, crashing his lips against mine.

I gasped, my body reacting instantly, heat flaring through me. His hands gripped my waist, pulling me against him, and I felt everything his strength, his heat, the undeniable pull that made my knees weak.

I should pull away.

I need to pull away.

But I didn't.

Instead, I opened my mouth, letting him deepen the kiss, letting his tongue claim mine. A shudder ran through me as his hands roamed lower, fingers pressing into my hips, molding me against him.

My wolf howled in satisfaction.

I groaned into his mouth, gripping his shoulders, nails digging into his skin. He growled in response, backing me up until my back hit a tree. His lips left mine, trailing down my jaw, my neck, teeth scraping over my sensitive skin—

I gasped, pleasure jolting through me.

"See?" Rafe murmured, his breath hot against my throat. "You don't have to fight me."

I squeezed my eyes shut, shaking my head. "This isn't real."

He chuckled darkly. "It feels real, doesn't it?"

His hand slid lower, teasing the waistband of my jeans. My breath hitched, my body betraying me.

No.

I couldn't—

I jolted awake, my chest heaving, my body hot and aching.

"Fuck."

I shoved a hand through my hair, my pulse pounding. That—that was the worst dream I'd ever had.

A wet dream.

Because of him.

I groaned, burying my face in my hands. This was getting worse. The bond was sinking its claws into me, and I was losing control.