Chapter Twenty Three

When I woke up they was no one in the room. I was vexed that I'd asked them to wake me when they're leaving but they didn't. I was about to get some snacks from my locker when the phone beep. It was my dad. 

"Hey Paige, how are you doing?"

"I'm okay."I yawned.

"Hm. That's good. I'm back from China. And I miss you so much, so I'll pay you a visit at your school..."

"Don't!"I imterupted him. "You can just do a video call. I'm fine. You don't need to stress yourself."

"I'm not complaining. Remember you're the only one I have. I will be at your school tomorrow. I'd have come today but I have some things to sort out at the company."

"Jude Kam. Stay at home. I'm not the only girl with a father in this school. I don't want you to come. Don't come Jude Kam!"

He laughed on the other end.

"Don't you want to see me?"

"You have enough spies. Didn't they tell you how fine I'm doing here?"

"I want to see you myself. Period."

"Don't come. I'm working on a class project. I'll send you a list of what I need. Just send them. You don't need to come. We'll see via video chat."

"Give me reason..."

"Will you just let me breathe Jude Kam. Stay away for now. I want to live!"I shrieked and slammed the reciever back on the wall.

The door creaked and Damien walked in. I was shocked to my bones, but as usual, no expression. I really do not know what the hell is wrong with me.

"I've never seen you scream that loud." He had a nylon bag with him.

"You're seeing that because you linger around too much. One day, I'll ask you what you want from me and trust me, I'd scream louder than that."I hissed and slumped on the couch.

"Bad mood. Wow." Damien took his seat across mine. I nosed myself in a magazine, to hide my, whatever. I was furious and I didn't want to act out on him.

"I'm sorry."He later said.

"Sorry for what?"

"For lingering around too much. I'm really sorry."

"How much did you hear?"

"Your last line. The door is kinda sound proof. I only heard when I opened it. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. "

"I got us some snacks. Would you..."

"No. Can you... leave? I want to be alone." I saw his countenance change. I felt a little guilty but I also thought it was for his own good. Jude Kam brought back memories. I can't help myself, his voice alone freaks me out.

I saw him walk to the door and lock it. He got back to the couch and sat by my side, flinged the magazine from my hands.

"You really want to be alone? "

"You heard me right."

"Fine then, you're alone. No one's here."

"You're here."

"Forget me."

"Where's Liam?"

"In the library, with Andra."

I wished I heard that. I had that "Auditory processing error" thing again.

"Leave... Damien."

He took my hands and held it.

"You're shaking. You think I'd leave you alone like this?"

I was quiet. I felt like he was getting too close. He was. I couldn't stop him.

"Won't I be a bad teacher if I do?"

"Look at me, Paige."

My breathing pattern had increased, I was search for breathe. Oh my, it's back.

"Look at me."He held my arms tight.

"Breathe. It's going to be okay. You're here, with me. No one else is here with us. Just breathe. Those things you see, they're the past. Just the past."

"You lie!"I breathed out. My pupils were dilating and my world was just a blur.

"I do not know what you are seeing but I know these things will pass. That's enough to hold on to."

I screamed, withdrew myself from him, my brain was on fire and I craved peace. I craved rest. I tried to move but fell, in his arms.

I saw him reach for a nylon bag and took out a bottle from it. He forced a tablet in my mouth and I swallowed.

In my dimly conscious state, I trusted him with my life. He hugged me to his chest and prayed silently. I felt my brain return to me gradually. Though I was weak, I wished I had enough power to thank him.

After a long while being in that position, he spoke.

"Paige, can you hear me?"

I nodded, moving away from him. I saw the expression on his face and felt guilty again. He thinks I'll be mad at him. He thinks I'll believe he took advantage of the situation.

"I'm sorry."

"Thank you."I whispered, getting a comfortable position on the couch. He sat on the floor, near to me face.

"That drug. Where did you get it?"

"Hm."He smiled. "Get some rest. I'll tell you later"

"Tell me now."

"Okay. I got it today. From a pharmacy. I know you'd be mad. It's not self medication. or maybe it is. You don't want anyone else to know. You didn't want to use the school clinic. I thought I should help. I asked for a drug for PTSD. I'm sorry. I just wanted to help"

I was quiet.

"I'll take all the blame if anything goes wrong trust me. When I saw you this morning and when I read your song, I was more convinced. And I just can't watch you... I'm sorry if..."

"I'm not mad Damien."I smiled. It was from the heart. "I'm just speechless."

"Why are you with me? Why are you like this with me? I'm the worst person to be with. You don't know. But I know. You're Damien, the best in the school, every girl's dream. I'm Paige, the dumbest. I have zeros lined up in my results. And it's not only my brain that's empty..."

"You..."

"Hush!"I shunned him. "Let me speak my mind. You're making a big mistake being with me. And if anyone goes wrong with you, because you're with me, I'll live with the pain for the rest of my life. Thank you for the drugs. Unfortunately, I do not care about being okay. I just want to live, without any drama. Is that too hard to ask. Go Damien, forget about me. You deserve more."

"Paige..."

"Idiot! Don't speak!"I warned. "You're way better than this. Stay away from me. Don't linger around anymore. You might get hurt. Look at me, I'll die soon. You've done enough. Cause when I die, I'll die with a big smile on my face. That I found something I can feel happy doing."

"Just let me be, okay?"