Glitter of the Absurd

Xander sprawled on his rental's bed, belly full and spirit sated.

Xinyue Pavilion's feast lingered on his tongue, a luxurious echo.

Once tasted, its splendor rooted deep, impossible to shake off.

Truly, mortals were slaves to indulgence at their core.

He scanned his cramped twenty-square-meter hovel, resolve hardening.

A man of his caliber couldn't languish in such a pitiful den.

Bringing a lady here would be an insult to his rising star.

Time to draw a prize, he decided, shaking off the lethargy.

The Beidou-Ningguang spoof had earned him another lottery pull.

Yesterday's draw flashed in his mind—dismal luck souring his mood.

Three to five items, bottom-tier junk, he'd scraped the barrel's dregs.

A colossal letdown, that haul had been, a cosmic jest at his expense.

He half-suspected his fortune had burned out in crossing worlds.

Yet the draw was his lifeline, strength's fount, dark face or not.

"May Morax's grace shield me, banishing misfortune's taint," he intoned.

"Let warp's fiends falter—I'll stride the path of the blessed!" he chanted.

His prayer steadied his nerves, a ritual against the odds.

"Here goes!" he declared, slamming the draw with bold resolve.

The interface flared into a starry sky, five meteors streaking down.

Five rewards—solid odds, a flicker of hope igniting within.

Mid-flight, one glowed blue, another blazed gold—a legendary pull!

"Gold! It's happening!" he roared, leaping up in disbelief.

His head grazed the ceiling, excitement nearly cracking his skull.

Gold meant S-tier, a divine gift to vault him to greatness.

Could this catapult him straight to the Seven's echelon?

But hope, as ever, dangled just shy of true triumph.

"Congratulations, host: one sack of iron ore acquired," the system chimed.

"Congratulations, host: one pair of white piano-length leggings gained," it continued.

"Congratulations, host: one box of Ferrero chocolate spheres obtained," it added.

"Congratulations, host: one silver longsword (C-tier) secured," it listed.

"Congratulations, host: one indestructible Powerman's Plastic Stall Chair (S-tier) won," it concluded.

Xander stared, his jubilation curdling into stunned silence.

A golden S-tier prize, and it was a blasted chair?

Even with "Powerman's indestructible" flair, it remained a stall-side relic.

"Curse it all!" he bellowed, fury surging through his veins.

He yanked the chair into being and hurled it at the floor.

A thunderous crash split the room, a crater blooming beneath.

The chair sat pristine, not a nick marring its cheap white frame.

S-tier durability, mocking him with its unscathed gleam.

"Unbelievable…" he muttered, rage choking his breath.

Gold legendary, divine-tier S, reduced to this absurdity.

A plastic stall chair—what cruel jest was this system playing?

What purpose did it serve beyond cradling his backside?

"Explain yourself, you wretched thing!" he growled at the void.

Sighing, he righted the chair, resignation tempering his fire.

Drawn was drawn—nothing left but to test the wretched prize.

He sank into it, and comfort enveloped him, defying its form.

No mere plastic seat, it rivaled the plushest of sofas.

He drew the Shadowfang Blade, propped it before him, and struck a pose.

A street-lord stance, awaiting lackeys beneath a shadowed bough.

Perhaps this chair could lend him swagger in a pinch?

He pictured it: armies clashing, generals glaring, him lounging atop.

The image faltered—too ridiculous, even for his bravado.

Better to stash it than parade such a fool's throne.

The leggings and chocolates held some worth, at least.

Xander slumped, the draw's sting a bitter pill to swallow.

Liyue hummed beyond his walls, blind to his golden farce.

The Shadowfang Blade gleamed, a silent witness to his plight.

He'd risen from Xinyue's feast to this—a throne of jest.

Next draw loomed, a gamble he'd face with gritted teeth.

The chair mocked him, its comfort a taunt in his cramped den.

Teyvat spun on, his legend tethered to this absurd relic.

***

Support me on Patreon to read 80 advanced chapters of 4 Genshin impact & 4 Pokemon Fanics

patreon.com/Nocturnal_Breeze