7

Chapter 7: Appointment Results

Back in Time

Chapter 7: Appointment Results

Harry was sitting on the cold grass of the garden, his back against a tree, allowing the cool air to attempt to wake him up a little. He had woken from a nightmare in the early hours of the morning and decided he really didn't want to go back to sleep, so here he was. He didn't know what he had done to make the occupants of the Manor trust him enough to let him roam the place whilst they were sleeping, or just to make them accept him, but he was very grateful for it. Along with the care, the gentleness, and warmth they provided.

He was surprised at the warmth of them all, to be honest, given everything he had heard about the Black family. But Arcturus, during one of his Wizengamot lessons, had told him that all the Pureblood families showed a 'strong', 'stern' front in public, and saved the normal family things for when they were at home.

Harry didn't like it. He didn't like having to wear masks. To have to hide the love he felt for his family, he knew he wouldn't be able to do that. And sure, they probably broke it sometimes, like when someone they love gets hurt and they demand justice, but… He couldn't imagine having to be stern to his future children just because they were in public. Why couldn't he just be himself? Ever…

"You're here to change things, aren't you?" a familiar, stern voice said, and he looked up from his knees to find a blue, ghostly visage of Severus standing a few feet away from him with a smirk on his face.

"Professor, what… What are you doing here? I didn't call for anybody," Harry said, confused.

"It's almost as if you don't want to see me," for a second Harry thought that Severus was pouting, and he almost chuckled.

"Of course I want to see you. There's so much I want to speak to you about, but I-"

"I know," Severus said, his lips twitching upwards, "In any case, though, Death can send us to you when he thinks you need us, and he thought you might need me. For some reason,"

"R-right," Harry nodded, shocked as the man moved to sit cross-legged in front of him.

"You came here to change things, didn't you?" Severus said gently.

"Yeah," Harry breathed.

"Then change things, Harry. Show these men who were raised to believe that showing love, and care, and emotions is weakness, that those things are the strongest, most magical things in the world. Because they are. Your mother saved your life with her love for you. You saved the life of everyone in Hogwarts when you died during the battle, because of your love for them. Show them that loving your family in public isn't weak, and will actually go on to help make the children better human beings. Show them that loving people, and wanting to help and look after them, is actually going to help the world, and help them create better laws and such. Because it will. It is sternness and hate that turns people bitter, and makes them make the world a terrible place," Severus said, "It is those things that make them not really care about the people, and then create the laws and build the world that we fought for,

"Your love and care for people, Harry, isn't a weakness. And neither is that of the Black family. They just need to know that they can show it, and it is showing it that will be their greatest strength in what is to come. It is them not showing it, not letting themselves be theirselves in every way, that led them down the path to destruction. And you can help them, and everyone else, through that. I know you can,"

"When did you get so much faith in me?" Harry chuckled darkly.

"I always had faith in you, I just couldn't show it. Perhaps part of me also didn't want to show it because you were a child, and children should have no place in a war. Whether prophesised or not," Severus said, smiling sadly at Harry, "I had to pretend to be a typical Slytherin Pureblood, when I was anything but. Slytherin I may be, cunning, ambitious, and everything else. But I am not one of them. But to keep you children as safe as possible that was my role. To keep myself safe so that I could continue keeping you safe, that was what I needed to do. And I'm sorry, for everything I did to you all. I just-"

"There is a lot more to it, Sir. I know. But I won't pry because it is your life, and I feel I have already pried enough. I am sorry for entering your pensieve, by the way. I just… I thought maybe you had hidden some answers to some of my many questions in there. And perhaps you did, since something I wanted to know was why you had hated my father, and therefore me, but… I just wanted to know what the door I kept seeing was, and why Voldemort was interested in it. And no one was telling me anything I felt I had the right to know. I'm sorry for what my father and his friends did to you, even for the bits I don't know. I didn't really realise what that memory meant when I first saw it, but I do now, and I am so sorry you had to go through that, and I am so sorry you had to look at me every day and remember, and-"

"Harry, it's not your fault," Severus said gently, "I don't hate you, I never did. You are my best friend's son. Despite who your father was, I could never hate you. Besides that, though, I was also a bearer. I think you understand as much as I do that we are unable to truly hate a child. In any case, though, you have nothing to be sorry for. I had spoken to the Headmaster a number of times about telling you what you needed and deserved to know. Yes, you shouldn't have done it. But I can't blame you for doing so when I understand why you did. Teenage curiosity can make you do stupid things, sometimes, but when you become an adult you can make up for those things most of the time. Though I think you've already made up for it,"

"How did I make up for it? I never trusted you, even when you proved to me, time and again, that you were the only adult who actually wanted to keep the students safe, and alive… to keep me safe, and alive,"

"Perhaps, but I also gave you plenty of reasons to hate me, and sometimes hate overpowers everything else," Severus said, a small, self-deprecating chuckle escaping his lips.

"Not really," Harry chuckled in the same way, "I mean, you said mean things, yes, but you weren't the worse thing I had experienced. I was hurt more with words, and other things, by my relatives than with you. I mean, you cared if I survived or not, and they didn't give two fucks, or they wouldn't have if anyone had bothered to tell them anything that happened at school. In fact, they probably would have moaned at me, and more, for surviving. But you wanted me, all of us, to survive. You did what you could to help us do that,

"Even your words helped. You showed us what life was going to become like. That there were adults trying to bring us into this fight. That there were adults who wanted to hurt us and fight us even though they had an unfair advantage. You showed us what we would have to go against. You prepared us for war, and for believing in ourselves, far more than anyone else did. You showed us how to fight, and how to defend, and how to attack, when no one else would show us anything, and actually actively hid things from us,"

"I certainly tried my best," Severus sighed painfully, "Though I really didn't want to say the things I said, or do any of that-"

"I know. Ignotus mentioned that there were a lot of things done to you, more than what I already know and what I already know is bad enough. If you don't want to talk about it, I understand, but I am here for you, if you do want to. And I promise, when you are born again in this timeline, both as Severus Snape, and whoever you become when Death reincarnates your soul, I will protect you both as much as I can, from all of it," Harry said quietly, a tad nervous.

Severus chuckled darkly, "I know you will, Harry. And I appreciate it greatly. I just… I wish someone was there sooner,"

"I wish someone was there sooner, too. For you and for me," Harry said, "And for everyone else,"

Severus smiled sadly again and Harry thought he could see a sheen in the man's eyes, though the ghostly visage made it hard for him to fully tell anything was happening.

"I'm so proud of you, Harry," Severus said, and Harry's heart constricted in pain and happiness all at once as tears filled his eyes, "I'm sorry I never got the opportunity to tell you that when we were both alive in our time. But I am. No matter how much shit was piled on you, you always kept fighting, even though you shouldn't have had to. You are strong, and brave, and smart, and kind, and no matter what people did to you, you still fought for them, and that is perhaps one of the most amazing things about you. And I know, that you will succeed in making this world a better place, for everyone. You will do what you can for the people, for your new family, for your children. You will make the most wonderful mother one day. And know that, even when you aren't able to speak to this version of me anymore, I will always be proud of you,"

Harry was really trying not to cry too much, "Thank you," he said, chuckling slightly, "I… I think you would have been an amazing mother, too. Did you-did you have children?" his heart clenched at the thought of this man having a family in their original timeline that weren't able to contact him.

Severus smiled, painfully so, and shook his head, "Who would have wanted to have children with me?" he said self-deprecatingly, "In any case, being a spy doesn't really afford you the opportunity for family,"

Severus looked behind him suddenly, before turning to Harry again and smiling slightly, "I believe it is time for me to go. Someone is coming this way and I don't think this is the time for introductions,"

"But I…"

"If you ever need me, Harry, just call, and I will come. Always," Severus said with a smile.

"Okay," Harry whispered, and then Severus was fading away.

Not long after, when Harry was still trying to clear the tears from his cheeks and eyes, he saw Lucretia walking towards him, her face becoming worried as she looked at him.

"Harry, are you alright?" she said gently as she stopped in front of him, sitting down in much the same way that Severus did.

"Yes, thank you. And yourself?" Harry said, and although he could see that she didn't believe him, he was rather grateful that she didn't ask for more.

"Hm, just nervous for today," she said, twisting her fingers together in her lap.

"Right, your appointment," Harry nodded in understanding.

"I mean, I want to be a mother, but I have… For years I thought I wasn't able to but what you said makes sense, I should have, we all should have pushed for a second opinion. Right? But like, if they were wrong, or they just lied to me because the chance is only a small one, how am I supposed to move on from that?" she said, and Harry felt his heart break some more.

"I don't know. I'm sorry for bringing it up in the first place-"

"No, Harry, no, you have nothing to apologise for. My parents and I have all discussed this, and you were right. It just hurts to think that I may have been lied to, that I have spent so long thinking that the one thing I truly wanted was unachievable because my body was failing me and would always do so. But then, if they were right, it will still hurt. And I don't know what to do. How to feel," Lucretia said, looking down at her twisting hands with eyes full of pain and fear.

"Have you spoken to Ignatius about it yet?" Harry said.

"No. I didn't want to get his hopes up," she whispered.

"That's alright. But Lucretia, even if you can't… There are other ways you can become a mother, perhaps even with your own biological children depending on certain things," Harry said gently, though he was nervous, too.

Lucretia snapped up her head but before either of them could say anything Orion came upon them and Harry had to raise his eyebrow as the other man sat next to him.

"Is it common for the Black family to wake up and talk walks outside in the early hours of the morning?" Harry asked, "Should we be expecting your parents to join us, too?"

"We could say the same to you, since you are also outside in the early hours of the morning," Orion grinned, " Are you alright?" he seemed so concerned that Harry had to hide a smile as his heart gave way to flutters.

"Nightmare," Harry shrugged, "I didn't want to go back to sleep, so I figured I would try and wake myself up a bit with the cold winter's air. Are you okay?"

"Yes, thank you. I just woke up and couldn't get back to sleep. But… if you want to talk about your nightmare, you can. We are here to help," Orion said, his eyes worried.

"It's fine, I don't really like talking about them," Harry whispered.

"Talking can help," Lucretia said gently.

"I know. But I… I can't. Not yet," Harry said, "I, erm, I'm going to head back inside,"

He stood shakily, "Harry, you don't have to leave," Orion said, his voice gentle and concerned.

"I know," Harry said as he stepped away from the two of them, "But I do believe that this is a family centred day, and Lucretia needs her family. I know you all say I am family now, though Merlin I don't know why, but I'm not. I wish you all the best with your appointment Lucretia, if you want to talk, I am here for you, but I think, for now, you should spend some time with your family,"

Harry walked away, not really knowing why, other than the distinct feeling that he wanted to tell them everything, and that he knew he shouldn't. At least, not yet. Not for a while. Not ever really.

They couldn't know. Right?

But Merlin did he want someone he could talk to all the time.

…

Lucretia stormed into his bedroom with a beaming smile on her face, practically pouncing on him with an embrace as she cried happy tears into his shoulder and he tried to recover from the sudden weight on him, wrapping his arms around her back.

"Thank you, Harry," she whispered, "You are my miracle,"

"Good news, I take it," he said nervously.

"There is some minor scarring on my uterus that would have made it difficult for me to conceive and carry a baby, but not impossible. There is a potion mum can make though to heal it, then I will be okay. I can have babies!" she was so happy that he thought he could see her magic dancing around her and he smiled.

"I'm glad," Harry said, "I'm sorry you weren't told the truth the first time around,"

"Well, at least I know now," she pulled back from the hug, "Thank you for coming into our lives, Harry. I don't know what I would have done without you here to whip me into shape,"

"I'm sure you would have been just fine without me," he said.

"I doubt it. Now come on, we are having a family celebration and you have to come. You can meet Ignatius, too, he should be here soon,"

"I'm not family, though," he said.

"You have more than proved yourself capable of being part of the family, Harry. So, please, come downstairs and join us. I want you there. And so does everyone else," she said, her eyes widening slightly.

"Okay," he smiled slightly as she pulled him up and led him downstairs by the hand.

He was greeted by a very happy Melania who took him into her arms in a very motherly way that made him yearn for more.

"Thank you, Harry," she whispered into his ear, "Thank you for giving me the chance to help my daughter,"

"No worries. All you need to do now is become a full healer so you can look after her and your grandbabies," he said, smiling into her shoulder.

"Oh, I will be, and teaching you potions also," she chuckled, pulling away slightly, "But I think maybe, one day, it will be you I get to look after, too, with some more grandbabies," she whispered, and he looked at her, shocked beyond belief as she chuckled again, but in a gentle way.

"H-how? What? What makes you think that?" he said.

"Intuition," she winked, and he blushed, "We'll see though, won't we?"

He just nodded.

Then he smiled as Lucretia rushed out the door to wrap her arms around her fiancé's neck, Ignatius catching her by the waist, looking concerned until she told him the news and his eyes lit up with joy, and love, and everything else that was good in the world.

And he hoped that one day he could have someone look at him like that, too.

Hiya, how are you all today?

I hope you enjoyed the update, I am sorry for the slight delay but life is driving me insane at the moment, along with the heatwave in the UK at the moment. Soooooooooooooooooooo, what's going to happen next? What would you like to happen? I would love to know your thoughts if you would like to share them. 

Anywho, I posted an essay/petition where I (un)officially explain why I think I should be cast as my favourite character, Severus Snape, in the new HBO series, despite the fact that I am a woman. It would mean a lot if you went and read it, but no pressure. It isn't going to lead to anything, unless, by some miracle, it goes viral, but it was fun to write. It is on my AO3, Maraudering_Paige. Feel free to go and check it out.

Also, I am working on some Spotify playlists for my fanfics, so if you can think of any songs you think work with the stories as they are so far, or where you think they are going, or songs that give you the vibes you get from the stories, then please do let me know and I will give them a listen, then potentially add them to the playlists. If you would like to go and give them a listen as they are now then you can find me on Spotify under the name Maraudering_Paige. They aren't that long at the moment, but we are making progress and I will continue adding to them the more music I listen to and when I have the time to do so. But still, if you can think of any relevant songs then do let me know.

I have a Facebook group called Maraudering_Paige which you are all welcome to join if you would like to and are able to. It is where we can talk about Harry Potter, fanfics, life, share memes and more. It is also where I have somewhat of an update schedule for my fics and will be keeping you up to date on what I am working on, in regards to fanfics, original works, and more things. So if you are interested in joining then I am more than happy to accept you all.

I also now have a TikTok and an Instagram for my fanfic writing escapades. The username is maraudering_paige on both of them so feel free to follow me, and we shall see how often and what kinds of content I can post when I can. But it is another way for me to keep you all up to date if you don't have Facebook and such, and for me to spread the word about other things I am working on and things I want to do and such. So yeah, feel free to join me on those if you are able.

And finally, if you like poems, then I write them and I have started a where you can read 1 or more poems every month depending on how many I have the time to post. You also get access to information about my original books I am working on before anyone else. And you get your name listed in the acknowledgements section of any book I publish whilst you are a Patron. For £2.22 a month. If you would like to join me over there and read some rants I call poems, and get updates on original work, then you may. My username over there is Paige_Makepeace. No pressure, by the way, you certainly do not have to if you can't or don't want to. I understand. I just thought it would be a cool thing to try. Any money made from this will go towards helping me write and publish the original novels I am working on. Including the one I am hoping to publish first which is a slow-burn, witchy, bisexual/lesbian enemies to lovers book. You will also be able to read the first draft of the first chapter of my book, so, if you are interested in doing that then feel free to go and subscribe if you want to.

If there are any other platforms you think I should join you all on then let me know and I will have a think.

I hope you are having an amazing day!

Kind regards,

Paige xx