Backtrack to the Past (Part 1)
Due to the needle in Riku's neck, the Wolf managed to sleep peacefully for four days straight. His external and internal injuries had been fully healed. And for Tazuna and Kira, the past four days had been a series of silence and intense supervision.
A package of herbs had been tossed through the open window on the early morning of the fourth day, by Wu Qing, who'd been away on various house calls. As Tazuna opened the package, he noticed a bundle of dried Monkey’s Paws, mint, and freshly powdered ginger. He began to strip the Monkey’s Paws flowers from their stalks. Meanwhile Kira sat in bed next to Riku, his eyes staring at the sleeping Wolf.
Within these four days, Ning Yuan and Wei Zhan had been tasked to keep a watchful eye on the Wolves. However, because of their naturally guarded nature, the boys were forced to leave their food and medical supplies at the front door. Specifically because, Tazuna had restricted them from entering. Soon, news of the Wolves’ strange arrival had created intriguing rumors among the other patients. Eventually, these rumors made it to Ning Yuan and Wei Zhan. After a bit of persuasion from Kira, Tazuna finally let down his guard just enough for Wei Zhan and Ning Yuan to tend to Riku's leftover injuries. Ning Yuan’s eyes flickered at Tazuna. He was greeted with a low growl. Tension filled the air, as the two boys silently held their breath as they worked.
Damnit! Wei Zhan asked himself, as he felt his body trembling with fright. Why are my hands trembling?! I can't focus at all!
If I don't look in his direction, I should be fine. At least I hope so. Ning Yuan thought to himself, as he carefully wrapped Riku's arm with a bandage.
They only exchanged glances when they were changing bandages or mixing herbal paste. Tazuna silently watched with an extremely guarded stare. His eyes tracked every single movement the boys made. Even Wei Zhan, who was typically opinionated and boisterously loud, knew it was probably best to keep his mouth shut. Eventually, the young cultivators finished treating Riku's wounds, which seemed to ease a bit of the tension in the room.
“Is he going to be ok?” Kira asked, after a moment of silence.
“He…” –Ning Yuan looked in Tazuna's direction as if asking permission to continue his sentence– “...is going to be just fine. You don't have to worry.”
“That's good.”
“Good?” Wei Zhan asked, interjecting himself into the conversation. “Are you kidding me?! All three of you are healing faster than anyone I've seen!”
Kira laughed nervously at the two boys. There was no way he could elaborate on their healing abilities without sounding like a lunatic. Thankfully, Tazuna noticed this and smoothly diverted the subject.
“When can I take the needle out of Riku's neck?”
“You can take it out whenever you're ready.” Ning Yuan answered, his eyes swinging towards Riku.
“It'd be best to wait until we leave! That man nearly killed us after we brought him back here!” Wei Zhan corrected right away.
Tazuna said nothing else. Kira and Ning Yuan gave each a small giggle, at Wei Zhan’s expense. Wei Zhan hummed in snarky disappointment.
“You guys caused Elder Sister and the other patients a lot of problems! We can't even do our own jobs without hearing someone mention you!”
“In other words, it seems like you have gained quite an interesting reputation.” Ning Yuan spoke calmly, as his eyes gave Kira an intriguing look.
“Huh?” Kira asked confusingly.
“Do you guys really not have any idea how you got here?” Wei Zhan asked immediately, his tone being snarky but confused.
Tazuna and Kira exchanged a look with each other. Their silence answered the question without the need for words.
“You two are completely hopeless!”
“A-Wei.” Ning Yuan warned gently, before he gave the Wolves a gentle smile. “On the night we found you, we saw three comets falling from the night sky. A-Wei and I decided to follow those comets.”
“But when we got to their location, we found you guys at the base of Dafu Mountain.” Wei Zhan added.
“Tazuna?” Kira asked, as he held Riku's hand.
“Are you worried about Riku?” Tazuna asked, as he kept his eyes focused on his work.
“No. But… I keep thinking about what those two Humans said earlier.”
“Are you curious about their comet story?”
“Y-Yeah! How did you know?!”
“It's an interesting story.”
“Do you think the Spirits saved us that night?”
Tazuna finished grinding and mixing the medical herbs with a stone mortar and pestle. A warm and floral fragrance of ground flowers and herbs filled the room. He stopped to give Kira his full attention. The Arctic Wolf gave a faint smile, finding the Cub’s natural curiosity to be amusing to him.
“Is that what you think?” he asked in return.
“Me?”
“Hm.”
“I-I don't know. I've never heard you or Riku talk about comets before.”
“You're allowed to have your own opinions.”
“But… isn't doing that going against the Spirits?”
Tazuna felt his breath leave through his nose. A small, faint smile formed on his face. His eyes fell onto Wolf’s innocent face. There was a strong desire to find some sort of reassurance in the world.
“The Spirits have been beings Wolves have always relied on. According to Riku, we usually don't do anything without asking them for their guidance.”
“Oh…”
“But I think in this situation, it wouldn't hurt to experience free thinking.”
“Really?! Then… I think it's nice of the Spirits to help us! And Wu Qing too! If it hadn't been for them, we'd be dead!”
“Is that so?”
Kira nodded excitedly. The Arctic Wolf’s wild eyes softened in the young one's presence. Tazuna set aside the stone mortar and pestle. He gently placed his larger hand over Kira's. Their heads affectionately nuzzled each other's, their hands joined with Riku's.
“Let's wake him up.” Tazuna suggested kindly.
“A-Are you sure it's safe?” Kira asked, as he clearly expressed concern about the possible outcome.
“He’ll be fine.”
“But what if he throws another temper tantrum?”
“Then I'll knock him out again.”
Kira giggled cutely, sensing the humor behind Tazuna’s words. The Arctic Wolf wasn't the one to tease or pull any kind of pranks. In fact, Kira thought, at one point, the stoic faced Wolf wasn't incapable of even cracking a smile or wagging his tail! It was such a rare occurrence, that many animals nicknamed Tazuna the “Stone-Faced Canine” and “Stiff Tailed.”
He silently reached over to Riku and removed the needle from his neck. Tazuna and Kira waited with baited breath, as they stared at Grey Wolf's face. Riku slowly opened his eyes as he groaned from fatigue. The Gray Wolf was awake but seemed so out of it that he didn't even ask his friends where he was. Kira was overcome with elated happiness as he threw himself on top of Riku and hugged him tightly.
“Riku! You're alive!”
“What?... What are you… going on about?” Riku questioned. “Ugh… my head is killing me.”
“You've been asleep for the past four days.” Tazuna explained, his demeanor calm as usual.
“Four days? No wonder I feel so drowsy.”
“You needed to rest!” Kira chirped happily, before he averted his eyes nervously. “For… specific reasons.”
“...What?”
“Never mind that.” Tazuna soothed gently. “Let's get you some water.”
“I’ll get it!” Kira barked happily.
Kira climbed off the bed and fetched the water pitcher and a ceramic cup. Tazuna gently scooped his hand underneath Riku’s head, his fingers sliding through his silver hair. As the Arctic Wolf allowed Riku to drink as much water as he liked, Kira was busy looking at the needle that was now sitting on the wooden desk. He was intrigued. He was amazed that something as tiny as a needle was strong enough to make someone fall asleep for a number of days.
“Kira. Would you mind leaving us alone for a bit?” Tazuna asked, his eyes looking at the young boy.
“A-Are you sure it's safe for me to be alone?” Kira asked nervously.
“Go.” Riku ordered curtly, as he seemed to gather his bearings a bit more now.
Kira nodded silently and exited the room, gently closing the door behind him. Riku rolled over, his back now facing his friend's face. Riku refused to speak as his hand gripped the pillow he was laying on. Whether or not he was too physically exhausted to show his anger, Tazuna didn't know. He refused to eat the food the medical staff had been kind enough to deliver. It seemed all he sought for was death.
“Riku.” Tazuna spoke, after a while, only to be cut off by Riku's words.
“Where are we?”
“We’re in a mountainside clinic.”
A moment of silence passed between the Wolves.
“We were rescued by Humans again. Weren't we?”
“Hm.”
“And after everything they put us through, you still allowed them to help us? Why didn't you kill them like you were supposed to?”
Another short moment of silence passed between the two close friends. A low growl could be heard in the depths of Riku's throat.
“I don't believe they’re the ones who originally saved our lives.”
“And if they didn't, then who did?”
“The Spirits.”
The two Wolves stayed quiet for a considerable amount of time. His fiery gaze burned with an intense rage, as he felt his teeth slowly morph into canine incisors. Riku had never been a big fan of change. And this situation wasn't any different. In fact, in his mind, their current situation was even worse than before. One moment, he was peacefully living out his puppyhood with Tazuna in Battouga Valley. And another moment, they were struggling to survive on their own, only to be saved by Humans for a second time. For Riku, there wasn't a single ounce of decency that could quell Riku’s anger. He was confused. He was internally raging from guilt. Everything he'd ever known in his life had changed in a blink of an eye.
And Humans were to blame for their misfortunes.
“And do you honestly think one act of kindness will be enough to forget all those years of torture they put us through?!”
“We would have died—”
“Then why didn't you let it happen?!”
Riku shot up in bed, his glowing, peridot green eyes gazing with a violent temper, as he snarled viciously. He could feel his body vibrating with aggression. This wasn't how they were supposed to spend the rest of their lives. They both had obligations and duties that continued to be neglected. Abandoned. However, the weight of their situation only proved to be futile. Riku felt his chest tighten more, as he took in a shaky breath of air. They had no duties. They didn't have any obligations anymore. Everything he'd fought so hard to protect, had been lost in the Great Fire.
“I'd rather feel the embrace of death, than to spend another fucking minute in this Human infested world!” Riku snarled aggressively, as his clawed nails ripped into the blanket.
Protecting you and Kira was your responsibility. Riku’s dark psyche taunted with glee. You have always been the stronger one of the two. Yet, facing you like this, in this state, who was truly the stronger one after all?
“Your protection is never enough.”
Riku picked up his head. The same Arctic Wolf stared back at him. Tazuna's expression never seemed to change. It was as if nothing affected him. He always knew he’d been by Tazuna's side ever since they were young. His entire world revolved around Tazuna. If it hadn't been for him and his family, Riku would've died long before his first birthday.
“Your protection will always be something Kira and I will rely on.”
“How can you say that with a straight face? Just look at us Tazuna! How can you have the nerve to say something with so much conviction and actually believe it?”
“...”
“How?”
“...”
“How?”
“...”
“Tazuna!”
“Because I choose to believe in it.”
“...”
Tazuna decided not to say anything further about the situation. He knew Riku was the second best at adaptability, but was the worst when it came to dealing with unexpected change. Riku stared at the bowl of cold beef and lotus root stew. He curled up his lips, the disgust evident on his face. But after not eating for four days, and after seeing that Tazuna and Kira survived after eating Human made food, Riku decided to give in and eat.
Shit! This tastes disgusting! Riku gagged, his taste buds obviously not used to tasting Human food.
“Our survival wouldn’t have meaning if we died.” Tazuna spoke, after a moment of silence.
Riku couldn't bring himself to look at Tazuna.
“And here you are just accepting something that was never supposed to happen.”
“I’ve decided to accept it until we get the answers we need.” Tazuna replied, after a few short minutes of silence again.
“Is that how you really feel?”
“I do.”
“There's no way in hell the Spirits would deliberately make us like this!”
“Is that how you really feel?”
“You–!”
Did he seriously use my own words against me?! Riku thought to himself, as he turned to Tazuna with widened eyes.
“For once in my life, I can't answer that. So much has changed in such a short amount of time. It's starting to feel like I don't know what to believe in anymore.”
Tazuna reached out and placed it on Riku’s head. Riku stared wide-eyed at Tazuna. He always knew Tazuna to be an obliviously affectionate Wolf. Only now, as he gazed as the Wolf turned Human sitting only a few inches from him, Riku was reminded of his purpose in life. He wasn't meant to protect the pride of Wolves. He was meant to protect and preserve Tazuna's being as a Wolf. And if he was now portraying himself as a Human, then Riku had no choice but to respect his decision.
“It’s fine to not have the answers to everything.” Tazuna comforted, his face being straight forward as always.
“You're terrible at telling jokes.” Riku scoffed, as he removed Tazuna's hand from his head.
“Hm.”
You truly are stronger than me. It's no wonder your father chose you.